so there's this girl…

Ah, ok. The thing is, it’s hard to know what she would make of the bike ride as an offer. It may be worth even saying something like “me and some mates are going to ….. this weekend, would you like to join us?” and that way she may be less likely to deflect. Deflecting may not mean she doesn’t like you, but just maybe she’s unsure if she’d be happy 1:1 doing something you probably like more than her. Offer it to her and any of the people she rides with so it’s a broader social thing.

This will give you a situation to chat to her instead of suddenly being in a 1:1 situation straight off with less pressure too.

why not just ask her to join you for coffee and a chat first? keep it simple and honest.

Serious advice, go for something where there is an exit. Start with a coffee after work, if it goes well, it goes well. If it goes badly, she or indeed you have a perfect excuse to go your seperate ways.
A committment to a 1 hour ride plus faffing is going to put you together for 2 hours, not likely to say yes to that one.
Start small and build up.

cheers for the advice, like I said once I find my balls then i’m on the case. You never know, it could be a success(doubtful) and I could start a trend and women everywhere will start falling at our feet when we say we are “mountain bikers” 8)watch this space, er who am i kidding!?

Already said above but they are right.

like I said once I find my balls then i’m on the case

Wrong attitude. It really is no big deal and the worst she can say is no thanks I’m busy.

Before it comes to that, you really need to try and have some sort of interaction with her to test the ground before going as far as “asking out on a date”. It is quite probable that you have slipped entirely under her radar and at the very least she needs to feel comfortable around you. Brief chat next time few times you happen to meet eg. “hi, how was your weekend – do anything interesting”, then, as long as she appears friendly/chatty, move on to something relatively innocuous and informal, along the lines of ” After the day I’ve had I could do with a drink – care to join me?”. No big deal if she says she can’t but it may well be positive and as they say around here, shy bairns get nowt.

Can you use social media to find something out about her?

Try looking on Facebook, LinkedIn etc. and you may get some info on whether she is single or not and what she is into.

I’ve found that strangulation works. You can then keep her under the kitchen sink, airing cupboard, or crawlspace of your house. Whatever you do, don’t use the patio method, it never seems to end well.

P.s. Ask her out first.

“I hear someone is into the outdoors”

and

“should I ask her to come on a ride”

Don’t you think there should be quite abit of conversation between those two points?

Like hello, my name is. Talk about work, see if you get on, THEN find out what hobbies she does. See if there is some synergy.

If a girl came upto me out of the blue and said “hi my name is Kate do you want to come handgliding”

Actually I’d say yes and **** her senseless but then I’m a bloke.

I think a bike ride is a non starter really – as a first date.

do you know what, in all seriousness, virtually no-one would just go up and ask her out.
most people, and I don’t think there’s any shame in this, would strike up a bit of friendly banter with someone at work, engineering situations near the coffee machine or the printer and just talk to them, then on a work’s night out maybe get a bit flirty after a couple of drinks… then at some point down the line make a lunge at her down the pub or even casually ask them for a drink after work once a bit of rapport has been established.
people do this because it works.
try it.

This is the best advice on here so far.

Botom line – ask her out/ make lunge after the above scenario – if she’s interested – bingo! If not then – never mind, you had a go.

Think your approach through carefully and plan meticulously what you are going to say. Then walk up to her and blather out some utterly useless and embarassing garbage that should ensure she will hold you in ridicule for ever more.

Has anyone asked for pictures?

Has anyone suggested asking if she STW’s?

Has anyone suggested talking to her (shock horror but this actually works)?

Has anyone told you to give up and hand her over to me? (This is predicated by my satsifaction with the aforementioned pics)

Thanks,

Sammie-Louise x

ask her out/ make lunge after the above scenario – if she’s interested – bingo! If not then – never mind, you had a go

I disagree. Don’t talk to her. Watch and follow her. I’d suggest spending time outside her house to see if she is girlfriend material and take a few photos in the office and lamentate them.

Do nothing. Ever. Be timid and fearful and then have a little weep. And repeat.*

Or accept that she’s not that important in the grand scheme of things, considering the number of women on the planet, say hello, talk to her and if she turns you down it’s no big deal.

*remembers kit and the commuting goddess

Hahaha… how could we forget Kit!

Kit… the hug is still here if you want it x x

get a tattoo and start smoking next to the water cooler

the only thing cooler than the water will be you.

take a few photos in the office and lamentate them

We are the Bryce. You will come riding with me, and your trail knowledge will be added to my own. Resistance is futile, you will be laminated.

(ahem. sorry.)

You could rescue her from the cruel retail and capitalist world and keep her safe in your home, warm and well fed?

Ah I forgot about smoking. She’ll see you as edgy and very grown up. Like a 60’s American Cowboy in chapps.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm chaps!

Tell her that you & your bike are looking for somebody to join a threesome – never fails

Just ask her out for a drink. If she accepts, you’ll find out whether you have anything in common and if you “click” or not.

Stop coming on here – just get on with it.

If she’s as tidy as you make out then you’d better hurry up or someone else will get in there first. Then you’ll have to sit through coffee break while some slimy bloke from accounts describes how she likes it up the sh*tter……

Show her pictures of your bike against the sofa and your bike against a dry stone wall.

Non-cyclists love that.

Show her pictures of your bike against the sofa and your bike against a dry stone wall.

I thought the favourite one was the upside down bike with the landscape the correct way, that always gets a laugh from me…

You know her name, you work in the same company.

So send her an email. Content is up to you; try something along the lines below.

“Hi, I’m brycerw. I’ve seen you around, never get a chance to chat because we’re in different parts of the office, thought you might like to come for a coffee one lunchtime, I often head over to XXX. Busy today? And yes, I know I’m a cheeky sod for emailing you!”

That gives her a chance to have a think, and either say yes, no, or ‘maybe next week’. If the answer’s a definite no, then your question is answered; anything other than this means either you see her for a coffee and a chat (up to you), or at the very least you’ve established some sort of contact.

If she’s attached, she’ll let you know very soon (or turn you down immediately).

Whats the chances of her saying that email and sending it around her friends or colleague next to her?

Why not just smile and say hi?

Or is that old-school?

An email asking someone out for a coffee is nothing I’d be embarrassed about.

It’s worked for me in the past.

Anyway, he works in an entirely different part of the office, and he’s completely, utterly tongue-tied, so he’d probably turn bright red and run off without saying a word.

If you sent an email would she even know who you are?

I’d just get off on lunch break 10 mins early and loitter until she comes out then strike up a conversation, say you’ve noticed her around and wondered if she was up for a coffee sometime.
If she flames you down, then as you’ve said you barely cross paths anyway so no big deal.

Why not facebook her name and send her a pic of your genitals.

From memory on STW someone(s) in the past did this to another STW (female) didn’t they?

If you know her name try the 123people website. Ideal for some stalking 🙂

I wouldn’t suggest e-mailing her, that makes you look weird. just sit in the bushes by her car ………………….waiting

Failing that you could try the back door or boot to see if you can gain entry and surprise her when she returns. women love as surprise.

*reads replies from the regular idiots, slumps to the floor*

Hopeless, your all **** hopeless.

I think i might have “lunged” at Sara, worked for me. 😳

Man the hell up here would you? Stop being such a pussy and poke her on facebook.

I think i might have “lunged” at Sara, worked for me.

I think it’s more socially acceptable for girls to lunge. A lunging bloke usually ends up being referred to as ‘the accused’.

Don’t.

LOLing at cougar

she was holding a big bread knife at the time though!!

From memory on STW someone(s) in the past did this to another STW (female) didn’t they?

Is that true?

Yes- it was a few years ago mind but I think there was some banter going on on the forum and someone kinda misread the situation and jumped the gun abit. There was a few references to the ‘incident’ afterwards but the guilty party probably changed his login id etc (or disapeared).

ask her if she rides bikes.

simple really.

jumped the gun abit

undertsatement? Oooh that girl might like me, so I’ll show her my knackers. How suave and sophisticated.

ask her if she rides bikes.

I remember an incedent from my first days in college and we were all introducing ourselves.
Lecturer: So Louise, what do you do in your spare time?
Louise: I ride horses.
Lecturer: Anything else?
Pause.
Louise: No, just horses.
😕

I’m not being funny, but asking for advice about the laydeeeeeeez on here? HERE? Of all places? Really?

Its a bit like logging onto Mumsnet and asking for advice on the best way to abandon your wife and kids, and shack up with your secretary?