I think I'm about to be diagnosed with cancer, and I'm fairly scared.

On the flip side, we went to our wedding venue yesterday….

MAN ALIVE! IT'S FRICKIN' AMAZING!

Hope they get to the bottom of it soon, stay trong and we really admire you.

Peter

Don't be sorry!
A shit day is a shit day! And yours was particulary shit!! 😕

Hope tomorrow is better…oh and get onto the phone and hassle the barsteward!!

After big'ing himself up to do that is unbelievable, he must be aware what stress you are under.

You need to keep cool and not have a go at him though as you need to keep him on your side in the future IMO.

He's an inconsiderate tosser….but he may be the best at what he does, and that's worth something.

As soon as you described his opening gambit I had a feeling how it might end, and I was wrong, wasn't expecting him to have pissed off!
I guess the thing he is good at is not his bedside manner then.
Still, it is another step towards an answer/solution, a bloody annoying and extra step, but a step nevertheless.

Chase him up! He shouldn't be allowed to get away with it that's terrible!
Good luck x

Get his address and gate crash the **** house. What a cock I would hit him with both barels when you see him

Hang in there mark, keep thinking of that wedding, we are actually getting married on the same day.

Justin

That Docs a **** eejit!

The lot of them should go on a 'bed side manners' course (For Dummies – it's normal for the rest of us!)

Hang in there Mark/Meg

Be strong my man- he has the ability to help you. Maybe something came up in his life- who knows? Let him know you were left hanging on by a thread when next you meet.

What is the view like from the wedding venue? If it's in Yorkshire it is 'probably' OK. South Wales would be better though ;)- less distance for me to drive to buy you two your pints!

All the best Big Man, keep your spirits up. And Meg- you are a marvel. Now go and give each other a hug. And a kiss from me too. (ooh 'er missus)

Sorry about your crap day Mark 😐 But I guess it's in the nature of things that there will be some, what with all the stress etc it's bound to make things harder to cope with 😐

I have no idea if you have been in contact with them, although I guess you probably have, but as I've said before, patient/cancer support groups should be very helpful in providing support and advise. FFS don't just to try to MTFU all the time ! Being angry, scared, stressed, etc are all to be expected, given the situation. And other people's advise, experience, support, etc, can be invaluable in helping to deal with these things.

Good luck, stay strong, and take one day at a time 8)

Hi

This has worked for me in the past.

Ring the hospital and ask to be put through to his secretary. Explain what happened and how anxious/disappointed you are and see if either the secretary will put you through to him or get him to phone you.

Very best wishes.
Paul

like foxy says don't apologise. the whole thing is that you have to be just a bit more selfish than feels comfortable and you need to understand that you are the focus.
if you want i'll get some characters together and go and show him how good he is……….
seriously though, let your emotion through, people will understand. glad you like the wedding venue, has it got a pump track?

Stay positive, the wedding planning should really help you look to the future.

I know what you mean about the waiting, i had some great news in that my second wider exicsion on my arm came back all clear yesterday, in for my second site one on thursday so i'm a lot more optomistic. I'm sure you'll be getting better news soon.

As for specialists, I'm a teacher in a state school and whislt i was on the operating table last week he asked me what i did and then proceeded to tell me how bad state education was on how that "obviously his children were privately educated". Luckily for him i wasn't really in the mood for a full on debate, especially as he was holding a very sharp scalpel!

Stay strong.

PS my On One SS frame arrived yesterday as my little 'treat' so i'll be building that up this w/e, have you got anything new lined up, it does take your mind off other things.

Hey Mark.

I hope today you get the help and information you need to get through whatever's coming next. The doctor's behaviour sounds terrible, but like Dobbo suggests, maybe an anti-social approach to bedside manners is side-effect of his clinical brillance (think of top-end pro roadies – very often amazing athletes with selfish attitudes to match!)

All the best,

Clive

Second the suggestion to get hold of his secretary. If you cant get a name then the best point of contact is the Patient Advice And Liason Centre (PALS) All hospitals have one and they are brilliant. They are a body set up to represent the needs of the patient and can put the light at the end of a tunnel for you.

You have enough stress to deal with at the moment, and all your energy should be channeled into getting well and for your wedding not chasing elusive consultants. Give them a call and see if they can pin him down on your behalf.

Here is their number .PALS: GUYS AND ST THOMAS': 020 7188 8801

Good luck!!

Might sound an odd request this one, so ignore you it if you wish, but it would be good to see a picture of you Mark (and Meg). Sure there's lots of people here that would like to shake your hand, congratulate you etc when they see you in future years.

If you want your privacy (or if you think I'm an internet weirdo), then tell me to get lost.

And best wishes to both of you.

Sadly, so many medics – particularly the more important they get – have an appaling sense of patient care. It is, I am sure, part of the fact that, from an early age they are told how special they are and how they are the brightest and the best. That, coupled with the god complex, is a poor combination for dealing with a patient as a human, and not just a series of symptoms.

Mark, keep calm, but be insistent. Keep calling, and don't be fobbed off by the secretaries – they're there to be gatekeepers.

And, when you see the man next or speak to him, do not be afraid to tell him that you were pretty p*ssed off with his promising something so significant and then b*ggering off (whatever the reason).

However, you clearly have a strong fighting spirit, so keep it up and good luck.

Maybe he needs a second opinion or is undecided on something, want's to be sure before letting you know any results. He could have said that to you in person though – hey you're entitled to be feeling shity, it's that strong attitude that's pulling you through! keep fighting – repsect!

Pete

Did the pain in the arse quack look like this? if so then you'll have to wait for the new series to find out what's wrong with you.

My opinion of doctors over the years now is base low – well certainly their bedside manner and their arrogance (Not tarring all of them with the same brush mind you) especially they way they spoke and treated my mate last weekend after a biking accident – WAKE UP DOCTORS your not the only group professionals on this earth.

Rant over – keep strong – they are at fault not you – can you hassle them on the phone to get some answers?

I'll second Clives opinion (that's a first eh mate!! 😉 )

Surgeons/consultants very often are very often completely arrogant with zero people skills, who are most comfortable when patients are anaesthatized and they can get on with their brilliant work. I've been the butt of similar egos (but on an admittedly much less serious problem):
consultant (onlooking at big, badly sewn, badly healed scar from previous op): ooh that looks nasty and untidy – who did that?
me: you did
Consultant: I don't think so
me: no it was definately you. 28th Feb 2008.
consultant: oh it was probably a friday afternoon. ha ha ha.
me: er…..

In short, they can be complete tools. But if they make you better, be happy to let them do their job. And then poo in their mail.

good thoughts going out to you mate.

Jim

Sorry to hear that Mark. It is so maddening when the people who are there to fix us do exactly to opposite. I would look for a change of Consultant if it is possible. He clearly is not

'the best at what he does',

They for get so often that they are dealing with humans and not a lump of meat that can talk!

Keep fighting mate, kick, punch, bite and if soemthing gets in the way of your recovery then get rid of it. If that applies to this guy then kick him in to touch!

Keep fighting we are all rooting for you.
Livestrong

I spoke to my cardio-thoracic lady today, after emailing her about how pissed off they made me yesterday. She apologised on his behalf, and tried to explain why he had to rush off. I like her. She's honest, reliable, gruff and frank, all of which I find to be good character traits. She also told me that it was very unusual, and that neither she or he had seen owt like it before. I had hoped it would be an atrial mixoma (non-cancerous tumour), but she reckons its more likely to be an angiosarcoma.

I'll be honest, don't bother looking this one up on the 'net; the prognosis is shite, and mortality rates are high, with secondary malignancies very common and usually untreatable…

Nice. Happy pissing days.

Open heart surgery will probably take place in the next week, so either Meg or I will keep you informed. Now if you'll please excuse me, I have to roll my sleeves up and kick my cancer in the arse…

Give it a kick from me too.

Prognosis might be shite and the mortaility rates might be high, but some folk get through it. Whose to say it wont be you that gets through it?

I've got some steel toecapped size 10's you can use.
Cancer…bag-o-shite!!
Chin up fella, keep fighting, kicking ang screaming.
Your in our thoughts

Rik-Mouth cancer 1997
Now 34yrs old

ive been following this thread from a distance. I have to say mark i admire your spirit and attitude and in my experience people with your mindset do much better than those who give in to the illness. Good luck over the upcoming months -your courage through this has been amazing. I'm sorry your not getting the answers you urgently need from your specialists- but until they have all the results and histologies etc -they can't give you a full answer regarding prognoses etc
all the best
al

Ditto what Goan said. WGAF if the mortality rate is 90% – make yourself the 1 in 10. Someone has to be, and you're the sort of bloke that deserves to be.

I've never been great in fights, but once you've got it on the ground, I'll run in and take a sly kick at it for you.

Keep strong, best wishes to Meg too.

Dude, you've got bollocks like space hoppers. If I was wearing a hat I'd take it off to you right now. Meg is a very lucky girl.

I've a spare set of bombers if it'll help owning the fooker

But even if the prognosis is shite people still survive and with your sheer guts, determination and your good lady with you I still think the cancer is in for a hiding.
Best wishes to you and Meg from all the Gibby family

Mark, the statistics they state are an average, and there's nothing average about you! When I read the numbers for J's cancer I felt like someone had ripped my heart out, the stats are not good, but he's stll here, still good and at least two of his docs have put his recovery down to his fitness and downright stubbornness. Just do it – we all know you can, even if it doesn't really feel like it right now.
You know where we are…

Mark, keep fighting, we're all with you.BTW, would you like a couple of big Yorkshire lads to come round and have 'a word' with this, 'ere, sarcoma thingumybob?

Hey Mark – obviously we're all rooting for both you and Meg

email in profile if you need to talk

And a big up for everyone on here – respect.

Rooting for you both

brother…what ever the **** it is, i am sure you are going to kick the living shnizzle out of it. keep up the good work my friend.

Mark

Sorry to hear how rough its going, but seems to me you have a few things on your side to help with the stats. You've kept yourself healthy over the years, you are full of fight and you have Meg (oh and all of us). These things all make a huge difference on there own, let alone together. Now **** the stats and think even the survial rate was only 1 in a 5,10 or a 100, you will be the 1, somebody has to be and you have a lot going for you.

Keep in there mate.

stay fcuckin angry mate and keep kicking! once you are sorted give that doc a quick kick while you are on!

People win the lottery, so why not you eh?

As Mariusz Pudzianowski once said…..

'strong, like bull!'

Mark, I don't know if you have any Faith but my family are praying for you. My wife had cancer twice, went through radio and chemo, had major surgery and a bad prognosis but she's still with us and treasures each day, back to normal a far as the world can tell.
I'm sure it's been said but don't give up – ever.

If you're going to kick something may I reccommend these, they're ice climbing boots and they'll leave whatever you kick smarting for quite some time.