People with no kids – any regrets?

No kids here, not one regret. Mind you I hate the little bleeders.

To OP if you ask this question you will regret not having kids in future.

The question of having kids should not coming into your mind if you are a person that does not want kids.

Except nobody lives in a bubble and is immune to the questions of society around them – have you read this thread?

If you just did and didn’t question why, where would yu end up, ohh yes, where you are probably

If the OP and partner are not ‘ready’ to have kids then they shouldnt have them. IMO you have got to really want to have kids before you have them as they take over your life like nothing else.

Its only in my mid 30’s that I thought I wanted kids, my wife too.

There are times that you think life would be a lot more fun and easier without them, but then has been said above, most of the time it is the best thing ever, although there are times when we wish we hadn’t.

Some of my friends first got preggers when she was 43 and had second at 46.

avoid the procrastination

And get on with the procreation.. 🙂

me 47, mrs 48, 2 kids, 21 and 15, grandaughter 3.
would i have em again……hell yes.
some people like kids, some dont…dont make you differant at all,
BUT, people who spout’ nothing missing in our lives, or we have no void to fill’…..ffs 😆
oh, and enjoy your ‘toys’.

im 38 the wife 39, our little girl is 2 in june… its been hard, wouldnt change it for the world but i do wish we’d done it when we were a bit younger.

as a side note its amazing peoples reaction when we say that were not having another… was there a memo sent round that i didnt get that states you MUST have two kids?

i am honestly going to punch the next person who says “about time you banged another out aint it?” NO **** off, 1- whats it got to do with you and 2 – We may not be able to have another.

I wouldn’t take advice off any parent who hasn’t, within the last week, wanted to kill their offspring with their bare hands. As threat would indicate that they’re either not in control of their mental faculties, or either themselves or their children are heavily sedated. Probably both.

Its an indictment of how loveable my kids are the majority of the time that they’re still aliv

couldnt have said it better myself..

why do you regret having kids?

I don’t. My son is the centre of my universe and I wouldn’t change a thing about him, even though he can be a little sod from time to time. Being a dad is brilliant, I love it (although I could do with a little more free time). I’m trying to give a little balance to the discussion because it looks like some of the parents on here are rather pushing their own decision to have kids as the only correct one, and that’s not the case.

I’m not going to go into detail, but I know someone who does regret having kids. I also know people who wanted to have kids and couldn’t. To my mind the former situation is a much more painful place to be because as an unwilling parent you are pretty much trapped in an unhappy situation for a very long time indeed.

I also have a theory that if parents do not get pretty inebriated on a Wednesday night, they would murder the whole Family by Thursday.

Amen to that, brother!!! Commonly referred too as Midweek Sports Special 😀

Continuing on from my post earlier, My little Sister decided from an early age to have 4 kids, one after the other. Once she’d found a decent Bloke and married him she promptly sprouted the 4, one after the other. My little Sister went though some tough times bringing them up (Husband was a Dick) but she did it, she also found time to become a Maths Prof at Cambridge Uni too..
So, there maybe tough choices to make whilst deciding to have/not to have, but I think if you have a plan and determination there’s not a lot that will stop you from making the very best of your life.. Kids or no Kids,.
And for the record I love them, I’ve enjoyed watching kids I taught to sail from the ages of 4 onwards turn round to me now after finishing Uni and say “If it wasn’t for your help I wouldn’t have taken up sailing”
Makes me smile that.

BUT, people who spout’ nothing missing in our lives, or we have no void to fill’…..ffs
oh, and enjoy your ‘toys’.

why ffs?

as a side note its amazing peoples reaction when we say that were not having another…

Same here, we have one child and we are both happy with that.

The amount of times i’ve heard the same as above 🙄

The fact my mrs nearly died when we had my our son seems to have no effect on their “opinion”

Bringing up children is never going to be easy, but the good times far far outweigh the bad ones.
Not only do i get thge biggest cuddles every time i step through the door i get to to marvel at the world through the eyes of a 6 year old and a 4 year old.

No regrets whatsoever.

I’d make a useless Dad anyway.

edit: I do manage a fairly good job of being the cool & funky Uncle though…but Im sure my niece & nephew have different opinions…

I needed to have kids

I would have looked like a right peado at Soft play, Legoland and the Santa Special steam train without them, and it was brilliant fun!

philconsequence – Member

BUT, people who spout’ nothing missing in our lives, or we have no void to fill’…..ffs
oh, and enjoy your ‘toys’.

why ffs?

Posted 2 minutes ago # Report-Post

phil, i buy ‘toys’ to fill my voids…..fast cars, big bike, new shoes.

kids are a bit more precious than void fillers. imho that is.

Does caring about that make me selfish?

No. It’s your decision and yours alone. We’re planning to have kids soon, not out of a unselfish duty, just cos we want kids. It is that simple. If you think you’d do a good job raising them then go for it.

Smiles are a rare commodity sometimes.

Not if you have little kids 🙂

i’m the harsh, no fun, no sweets, no tv, have you done your homework uncle. They objected so much to me picking them up from school ( I was between jobs) that they now go to after school which is [insert 12yo word for bad] but then when I was working they wondered why I wasn’t visiting them with the missus. Guess I’ll stick to cool uncle, they would be under the patio otherwise.

I would have looked like a right peado at Soft play, Legoland and the Santa Special steam train without them, and it was brilliant fun!

Finally, we’ve reached the real nub of having kids – they give you an excuse to return to behaving like one 😀 rather than becoming old and boring 😉

As trite as it may sound our neighbour in her congratulations card wrote

“welcome to the best, smelliest, noisiest, most stressful club in the world”

She was right and it is…she sleeps with us in the campervan, comes to races did her (I should point out I was riding around for 24hrs not her) first 24hour this year and so long as you’re not one of the types that follow ‘the contented baby’ bullshit and allow your baby to flow around your life it hasn’t really changed our way of life as drastically as we first thought.

wors – Member

as a side note its amazing peoples reaction when we say that were not having another…

Same here, we have one child and we are both happy with that.

The amount of times i’ve heard the same as above [/quote]
We get this too. We only want to have one, but the amount of people who struggle to comprehend this is surprising.

My mate who already had kids, on finding out that my wife was expecting said “Now your ****”…

makes sense ton 🙂

It’s a big decision, but more of a practical one than any response to some sort of spiritual awakening.

What I mean is you shouldn’t feel that parenthood is some sort of calling that is felt at a deep level. It’s not for most people IME (although it’s true do meet the occasional person who is just obsessed with having kids, even from a young age).

No kids = valid choice
Kids = valid choice

Didn’t ever want children at all – met Mrs JAMJ and almost immediately thought “This is the mother of my children”…

I’m with Binners above to an extent – however lovely, children can be the most frustrating and annoying things ever. On the flip side our children are my joy.

No one can tell you if being a parent is right for you except you and no one can see into your future and know if it will be a regret. This is one you can only work out for yourself.

I never wanted kids, Had lots of toys, holidays etc
It was a biological impossibility with my previous Partner and didnt bother me at all, always felt that the benefits of kids did not outway the drawbacks.

Now I am Happily engaged and the Father of 2, My daughter is coming up for 3 and my son is 9 months.
Its the hardest thing I have ever done but it is also the most wonderful, the look on my kids face when i walk in through the door at night is enough to bring me to tears, they are so happy so see you.

Yes its hard, no I havent ridden my bike for months, I havent been snowboarding in 3 seasons etc etc and at times I`ll be honest I do mourn my “Pre-Kids” freedom, I sometimes get overwhelmed with the whole “This isnt what I signed up for” attitude, as the kids were supposed to be “In addition to” rather than “Instead of” the life we already had…..

I am still 3 years on coming to terms with it, but I love my Kids dearly, regret is a strong word, sometimes I feel we should have stayed at one child, but as he grows that feeling visits me less and less…..
I am happy to be a Father.
I would like more time to do the things I used to do
I now look forward to be able to do those things with my children

A lot of people say ‘I miss doing xxxxxx but I wouldn’t change it for the world etc’ – but you kind of have to say that don’t you? Not saying it necessarily applies to people here but it’s a big taboo to admit you regret having kids.

Sounds like we have a few years to decide anyway hopefully.

From my experience, the people I’ve met who have been adamantly anti-children have also been the most selfish/self-obsessed people I’ve known.

These two things are probably connected.

Is my observation. Only a tiny sample out of a global population of 7 billion of course. And my observation hasn’t been peer reviewed and displayed as a pie chart, so according to STW rules it must be immediately rejected without question. 😀

Absolutely the hardest and the best thing I’ve ever done…

I used to surf every week and couldn’t imagine a life where that didn’t happen. With kids, you get a different perspective and my surfs are rarer than hens teeth these days but I wouldn’t swap it. I guess that’s similar to your powder boarding. I guess I’m saying you can’t really view what your life with children will be in the context of your current lifestyle.

at 32 you’re still young and have got 8 years realistically to give it a go

grum – Member
A lot of people say ‘I miss doing xxxxxx but I wouldn’t change it for the world etc’ – but you kind of have to say that don’t you. Not saying it necessarily applies to people here but it’s a big taboo to admit you regret having kids.

LOL yes, you do HAVE to say that… however you don’t HAVE to say it to a bunch of faceless internet texts you’re never likely to meet.

Why would i lie about it ? It would be silly…

I’m never likely to meet any of you, be friends with you… so i have no reason to be embarrased about my replies.

From my experience, the people I’ve met who have been adamantly anti-children have also been the most selfish/self-obsessed people I’ve known.

These two things are probably connected.

Hmm sounds like the kind of smug condescending attitude only parents can fully achieve. 😉

weeksy – not saying it applies to all but I suspect it does for some.

I guess that’s similar to your powder boarding. I guess I’m saying you can’t really view what your life with children will be in the context of your current lifestyle.

Interesting way of putting it.

met Mrs JAMJ and almost immediately thought “This is the mother of my children”…

Good point. Mrs Grips is so fabulous, I wanted to preserve her DNA forever… 🙂

I would like more time to do the things I used to do
I now look forward to be able to do those things with my children

This is a good point. Lil Grips #1 is probably big enough to climb small hills, when Lil Grips #2 is not so lil I think we will be able to go on some good walks.

The cool thing about Lil Grips #1 is she is up for absolutely anything. Almost every activity you can think of sounds great to her*, even stuff she can’t really do yet like go on long bike rides. Even went for a run with her the other day. Ok so it was just once around the block but it was fun 🙂

* unless it’s stuff like tidying up, putting on her clothes, eating her dinner…

I do have kids (ok, kid, but ones brewing at the moment) however I can see that while I would not swap what I have, and genuinely love micorbits to death (even when she’s screaming because I’ve put the wrong frikkin socks on her…) that if I had not had them, and spent all my time on beaches and in bars as I did pre kids, I’d actually be very happy. This is probably a fair reflection of my personalty, I’m just a very content type of person.
I think that as I get old however, I’ll appreciate them more and more.

From my experience, the people I’ve met who have been adamantly anti-children have also been the most selfish/self-obsessed people I’ve known.

I take it you’ve never watched the Chelsea tractors arriving outside the gates of a private school when the kids are being dropped off?

Having kids is a great excuse to do stuff you used to enjoy as a kid – lone adult in soft play is very weird, adult with small person completely normal.

From my experience, the people I’ve met who have been adamantly anti-children have also been the most selfish/self-obsessed people I’ve known.
These two things are probably connected.

It’s mostly parent who are like that I’ve found as little precious pees on your floor or smashes something – children eh…
Call the childless what you want conscious or not it’s a valid choice.

tinybits – Member
I think that as I get old however, I’ll appreciate them more and more

IT’s only as i’ve got older i appreciate my role as a son more and more,… You see it’s not all just about the parent having the children…. it’s about the child becoming a man, becoming a parent and becoming something ‘more’ to the parent as they get older too

Due to deaths and health reasons my perspective on ‘family’ has changed over the past few years and i’m now 10X the son i was once… This is a HUGE factor for me and as well as getting the true perspective of being a parent, i’m getting the real meaning of what it means to be someones child too.

it passes every time I have to listen so someone describe in agonising detail how Jnr (they don’t have names these days) crapped by himself without getting it on his legs…..
on the serious side the missus also has some residual gladular fever/cfs type stuff and now admits she’s gad we don’t (being the one that was keen) we wouldn’t have done some of the stuff we have done/going to do with kids and tbh I probably too harsh on them.

To be honest, it doesn’t sound like you’d make a great hash of it anyway so I think you’ve made the right decision for the life you’d create and those that would have to deal with the consequences. But most of all, for yourselves.

I would like more time to do the things I used to do
I now look forward to be able to do those things with my children

^^ this

The cool thing about Lil Grips #1 is she is up for absolutely anything. Almost every activity you can think of sounds great to her* even stuff she can’t really do yet

^^ and this

* unless it’s stuff like tidying up, putting on her clothes, eating her dinner…

^^ and unfortunately sometimes even this…