Online dating help…

Oh boy… Big trouble!!

I like the profiles that start with something along the lines of:

**WARNING DO NOT MESSAGE ME IF YOU ARE A LYING CHEATING SCUMBAG THAT WILL SHAG MY SISTA OR ME M8Ss”**

I would like to meet someone who knows how to treat a lady.

translation: I have a shopping addiction and have maxed out my own credit so now need someone who can sub all my meals, alcohol and clothing requirements.

“everybody quotes Twain, all the time”

*Huckleberry Finn, 1840

(and: When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain) – apparently, from some internet bollocks google search

I’m contacting this one next… (cut & paste from their profile)

I’am a practicing Witch I’am not black or white I’am grey because nature is not good nor bad, I don’t cast spells on people I work with nature

😀

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way

There you go both bases covered Twain and cats

Please include some pun on you casting your spell on her – make it sound like a euphemism

Likes bungee jumping, the smell of rain and chocolate logs

I still laugh over how old the pics a few females I know posted up on their profiles. That and instagraming the others to death.

I would put an unflattering one up. At least then I wouldn’t stress over it.

Likes rabbits, saucepans and boiling water.

I would put an unflattering one up

Trousers on and the beautiful member hidden from view 😉

Not read the whole thread, but…….

I’ve been in pof for a while, got really disillusioned with it, yes met some lovely people, but also met some who lied/weren’t right for me.

I got sick of looking at women who all looked the same when searching the site, hair the same, same stupid flippin scouse/hd brows that looked like someone had slapped tar across their face, same pout, same stance (stood side on, hand not on hip but on rib cage just under the side of their boob, head tilted back, oh and knee slightly bent). If you are on pof just look at how many do this!

That Marilyn Monroe quote is on every other profile, so is “DVD, takeaway, bottle of wine”

There are so many other things I can rant about but that’ll do for now………

Would I recommend the site? Yes, yes I would. Current girl I’m dating is lovely, In fact she’s pretty spot (actually just thought she may see this!) on, she’s well in to cycling/mountain biking. Washes her bikes (yes ‘bikes’) in the shower, has tyres and bike bits all around her place. She beats my ass up every climb and then takes the pee out of me when I eventually get to the top. Alas she’s a teacher but I’ll let that slide….I think she’s a keeper 🙂

likes sideburns, grey hair and live music

dislikes foreplay, people who dont like dogs and men who insist on paying for everything.

*prays dezzieB messages me*

Good luck Houns! I deliberately avoid other cyclists – having been married, I see cycling for what it really is: a refuge; a chance to be blokey, sweary and obnoxious with a load of obnoxious sweary blokes!

Evening pootles to country pubs is fine, but no more than that!

Further to your POF observations, I concur wholeheartedly, but you failed to mention the “makeover” photos. There must be a studio in Manchester that has a huge round window thing as half the women in the NW have a soft-focus photo of them done up like a dog’s dinner, draped in this flipping great big polo!

If you can’t look like that 90% of the time, you have no right posting it on a dating site…

Ah yes. The polo shot and the holding the wall up shot (two hand against the wall and side of face resting on back of the hands)

Festival photos and cuddling a tiger (I’m actually jealous of this one as I’d like to do that) are frequent too

Houns. “DVD, takeaway, bottle of wine”

This is a subtle (maybe some of them don’t even know it consciously) – ‘in other words you are getting sex with me’.

Saying this- I know a girl who loves doing this. Once back from work she wont leave the house. Its curl up, tv on. Fri or Sat night? Curl up, DVD on and takeaway.

What an existence.

tongue out – do they still do that to show their cheeky side?

I dont see cycling as a refuge from women but as an escape to fun whatever the genders of those I cycle with.

Oh of course, but also states “my life is so boring that the only thing interesting about me is that I like doing what most of the population do on a quiet night”

For anyone giving pof a go then stick with it, it does seem the norm for people (of both sexes) just to stop sending emails without reason or warning. Just means they’ve found someone they prefer over you but haven’t got the decency to tell you

Regarding the refuge, we don’t live near each other so plenty of time to ride in own, and I expect it’s the same for her so she can go ride with her friends and I can bugger off out with mine )

Ah yes. The polo shot and the holding the wall up shot (two hand against the wall and side of face resting on back of the hands)

I actually dated this woman… I didn’t realise she was an offender til I found these pics on her Facebook!

(photos removed, even though they were quite well disguised!)

tongue out – do they still do that to show their cheeky side?

They do if they have a pierced tongue! I went through a phase of actively seeking the tongue piercers… They have some benefits…

I know who that is! (We didn’t date just remain friends,)

You dated her too Houns? Lovely girl and still a friend. At least these weren’t her profile pics!

Just chatted, still chat lots on FB

Maybe I should delete the pics… I would like to stress that they were purely to illustrate the studio!! haha

(I won’t say anything but yes may be best…. And I know, just to illustrate the point). Let’s face it, won’t be hard to find another example)

I guess the equivalent on MSF is what I call the “Justin Beiber” look. 😆

Festival photos are a must for me. I love going to festivals (got two lined up for 2014 already) and couldn’t date someone who wasn’t into them.

dislikes foreplay

Sorry, you’re out

I’m the opposite Mister P

Houns is my inspiration!

If you want false advertising just look up doity dating sites. EVERY girl likes giving rimming.

Really?

Funnily enough these websites don’t tell you that alot of the profiles on there are false/not the person and……if you reg you get contacted by ‘other members’ who are actually employee’s of the website to get you to subscribe.

I know this as its one of their common scams. Far far more blokes on these sites than females.

I tend to find the ones with all the festival pics (and Ibiza) aren’t really true life-long festival goers or even music lovers. Most of them are what I call bucket-list tickers.

This year it’s Glasto and Pacha, next year it’s swimming with dolphins and Machu Picchu.

Yup Dez……. 4 weeks after posting that I got chatting to the current

it does seem the norm for people (of both sexes) just to stop sending emails without reason or warning. Just means they’ve found someone they prefer over you but haven’t got the decency to tell you

I’ve only been on the site a few weeks, but I’ve done that! 😆 (Only because others did it to me)

doity dating sites.

I must confess to browsing one of these. I (honestly) felt physically sick at the photos on there. The horror.

Your wife must be delighted by your level of experience on internet dating sites especially the dirty ones – remind us again how long you have been together?

I would agree with Shib the festival pics are to make them look edgy just like the gym claim is to make them look [ often despite the pictures] fit and active

Your wife must be delighted by your level of experience on internet dating sites especially the dirty ones

Some are seeking group activities, I believe…

😆

and 😳 at my ignorance and prudishness

Your wife must be delighted by your level of experience on internet dating sites especially the dirty ones – remind us again how long you have been together?

I’ve nowt to hide/listen/read. However I know even some STW’ers have hidden hobbies etc. Do you think everyone on here is meat/two veg and happily-married with no cheating?

Oh junkyard.

I got a message off a young lady who was hoping to find someone to join her and her husband for a ménage a trois…

They were outside my 40 mile radius though.

Do you think everyone on here is meat/two veg and happily-married with no cheating?

no i assume they are not but it was meant more in jest than to offend
Sorry.

ménage a trois…

Is that somewhere to keep three horses…

likes swinging, casual fun and dogging

dislikes the fact the nurse at the gum clinic says hi in asda.

likes saying hi to phil dislikes cleaning that off that [ though shopping in asda is probably dirtier]