mother in laws

My MIL is a Madame Bucket wannabe. Hell!
Last time we went to see her (a short drive from London to Southern Poland, some 800 miles) I suggested we all went out for a pizza as there’s a wonderful parlour 2 mins down the path. She went bonkers, said I hated her cooking, I hated her, I wasn’t welcome there anymore. When my Wife tried reasoning with her she was told to leave and never come back. We packed the car back and drove additional 180 miles to my folks.
Have I been back at hers since? Make a guess.
BTW When we moved to Ireland she complained we did it to be even further from her. Now there’s absolutely no risk of her popping in as she won’t fly Ryanair 🙂

Getting a rise out of you is what she’s after – kill her with kindness. She’ll hate you all the more and everyone else will be completely on your side.

don’t move to oz.

Hairychested – that’s the kind of insanity I’m talking about. I’ve been more than accommodating, but it still seems like I’m satans spawn. I really don’t think I can win. I’ve been driving her around, doing as she asks for a week now. I only took her to castleton as I was feeling she might be bored and I wanted her to see as much of England as possible while she’s here, and it just blows up in my face. There is no need to speak to people like that. I’m probably better off doing nothing and just leaving her to her own devices. Being a good host certainly isn’t getting me anywhere. Looks like the bike might be getting some use over the next few weeks.

Hmm as a fellow anitpodean (not defending her) she could well have missed some british indirect communication that you all do, or not be aware of some social/cultural niceties. I know we all speak kind of the same language but you would be surprised. Can I suggest asking her calmly and directly what is upsetting her ? Can’t make it worse. She will be very emotional spending all this time with her daughter and knowing she has to step on a plane soon and who knows when she will she her again (which she prolly sees as your fault).

No excuse for bad behaviour I know but emotions might be running high.

And you get to occupy the moral high ground ! Good luck, sounds a grim christmas.

P.S I suggest opening with a Lindy Chamberlain Dingo joke, the Aussies love that.

Be aware that your faincé may turn into your mother-in-law – my wife is slowly!! 😥

I know I’m not helping.

So, this is the result of solo night rides, just you and the hip flask….. 😉

On the MIL front, evict to nearest travelodge, tell your future partner that if she turns into a monster like that, its over !.
Start as you mean to go on.

If you take that kind of treatment today, you are only setting the level.

tell your future partner that if she turns into a monster like that, its over !.

They can’t help it, they’re all pre-programmed and it all starts creeping through slowly at first then accelerates as they hit 45 or so. My wife even says “I hope I don’t turn into my mother” as the two of them sit there slagging off whatever it is they’re slagging off.

in it’s the only way. This will show her you are the dominant one HTH.

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To add balance, I can now only eat food if its liberally coated in pepper or mustard, so I can only summize that I am turning into my father.

I can only summize that I am turning into my father.

I saw a video of myself dancing the other day. I wept.

cant say i hate my mother in law as she will be doing baby sitting duties soon when the wife goes back!

however she is tight as a badgers a*rse!

i call her ‘one slice’

went over for sunday dinner once and i had ONE SLICE of chicken!! As she was keeping the rest for the week

were invited over this year for christmas dinner aswell and had to go halves on the turkey!!

my only advice is to give as good as you get because SHE WILL NEVER CHANGE! YOU WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH!

Its sad but your Mrs WILL turn into your MIL. If id accepted this twenty years ago i’d have a calmer life now.

dayus, are you 13 years old? never had sex? difficult childhood? there must be some reason why you’re a misogynistic retard

First time I met my MIL I stayed up until 3am getting spannered while she jabbered on. All very pleasant. Although the novelty’s worn off (she’s fine, but can be a bit trying), I’ve still got credit in the bank from then so can freely disappear now after the first cuppa’s been sunk without being seen as a miseryguts.

Don’t envy your situation. Trying to have a chat about it might work, or it might not. Some people are just mental.

Always show your partner respect by biting your lip.

Never blow up at your MiL. Ever.

My MiL was a royal-PITA. I never said a cross word or answered her back.

Ever.

My girlfriend adores her but admits she is ‘hardwork’.

I understand the dynamics and difficult nature. So for the few times I do see her I just smile.

Its worth it to have her daughter happy and to see my effort.

My Mum is a pain in the ass and we all acknowledge this but if anyone answered her back or had a go at her. I’d suddenly see blood as thicker..

My mother has temper tantrums like that. It doesn’t happen very often but what happens is she gets the wrong end of the stick on something and thinks she is being talked down to / ignored /; belittled and lashes out.

I have tried many ways of dealing with it and nothing really works apart from ignoring the temper tantrums and just getting on with things. Fortunately she does not bear grudges or hold on to the anger.

So my advice would be to ignore the bad behaviour completely. No mention of it and don’t let it affect your actions at all. If she does it again and its possible to walk away just do so. return in a bit and simply carry on where you left off before the tantrum

Its sad but your Mrs WILL turn into your MIL. If id accepted this twenty years ago i’d have a calmer life now.

Tis true this bit sadly

When I first met my missus her mum was eating a banana. Jesus she ate that banana.

[post edited and warning given. Mod]

Sorry TJ mate but I am afraid I have to disagree with you there.

The lady is a grown up adult person, not a toddler. She maybe just wants to be asked what is wrong ? Can’t hurt to listen and get her point of view, even if you don’t agree.

IME things like this fester and need ariring. No harm in polite talking, once tempers have settled. If that doesn’t work just count the days until that flight.

Don’t forget approaching and going through the menopause can cause unusual behaviour.

MiL’s are human too. What do you expect them to do? Perform like compliant monkeys for their demanding son in laws?

wow hora that is like three different people posting
Insightful , sexual innuendo and then stupid troll – he was hardly being demanding was he ?

Get yourself on Mumsnet – this is a ‘what tyre’ / is singlespeeding for me question for them…..

I fully sypathise with the OP, the last time I saw my MIL she told me to ” f word off and die”, this was caused by me pointing out to her that her benefits scrounging and cheating sister was doing just that when the MIL was trying to say she had had a hard life. Mind you she is a bit of a fruit loop too in the sane visit she wrote a letter to her other sister (the one who looks after their old mother and is quite normal, and who has also been more like a mom to my wife than her real mom)to tell her she isn’t allowed to see my wife anymore (wife is 40), she also went on to spout about how life had been hard for her living on the other side of the world (Canada)(and her choice to go there)

I now live knowing all MIL are fruit loops and to be avoided, on the bright side because of all of the above she is in the country atm but wont be coming anywhere near my house.

My MIL is a Madame Bucket wannabe

I recognise that trait! I had a rocky start with my MIL & DIL, he was very arrogant, still is really but I can handle him more now, MIL was and still is very picky over the little things, and has double standards – minor example, her kitchen is clean, but cluttered. She has banged on about our kitchen being cluttered (6’x6′ new buld kitchen box basically) and now we’ve had it done & extended it looks good – her first words “you’d better keep it this way”, rather than anything along the lines of “looks nice” etc.

I’ll give them credit that since I was diagnosed with a brain tumour they have been really supportive & helpful, probably more so than my parents – so if it was wifey posting here you’d get a proper venting of spleen about her MIL/DIL.

Wife admits it took marriage for her to see her parents were not quite “normal” and she herself tries to control her behaviours when she feels she is becoming too like her parents in actions etc.

BTW, if the OP took steps to get his MIL sectioned (which I don’t think he could achieve anyway) this may prolong his agony as she might end up on a 28 day section, not good news if she is due to go home before then.

When I first met my missus her mum was eating a banana. Jesus she ate that banana.

[post edited and warning given. Mod]

EEK! 😳

Hels – thats just my experience. With my mother there is absolutely no point in discussing it after the event. Her idea of what happened and others are so far apart they cannot be reconciled and it just keeps the anger going.

Hora, I think it was one of the most disturbing posts I have ever read!!!! I think you got off a bit lightly. 😉
You’re a very naughty boy!!!

It was hilarious (for me) at the time. mrshora didn’t take it too well 😉

in it’s the only way. This will show her you are
the dominant one HTH. [post edited and warning given. Mod]

Say what????

mrshora didn’t take it too well

is this another innuendo?

I don’t know and can’t say.

I must only talk about subjects of the day following Christian guidelines and I must refrain from anything remotely ‘risque’.

My mother has temper tantrums like that. It doesn’t happen very often but what happens is she gets the wrong end of the stick on something and thinks she is being talked down to / ignored /; belittled and lashes out.

Life mirroring STW for you TJ 😆

dayus,

Yes.

are you 13 years old?

Nope.

Never had sex?

Yes, I’ve had sex. Not today though.

Difficult childhood?

No, it was easy.

There must be some reason why you’re a misogynistic retard.

This retard has just had to correct your grammar. 😀

Some light reading for you – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humour

Cheers!

Eh??

Was dayus first post deleted or something?

I see that the mods are now all over this thread.

OP, seriously, don’t take this treatment. If you are intending to spend the rest of your life with this womans daughter, you better get the ground rules sorted out now / in the early stages.

Pay no attention to the wishy-washy, spineless comments advising you to bite your lip, go for a quick walk, etc.

What gives this woman the right to kick off when she likes, and have everyone else then cowar, tremble in fear and stay passive until the tantrum is over ?.

And you don’t have to fix her either, all this talk to her stuff, eh ?.

What ?, is the OP some sort of head doctor and he is going to help future MIL with her issues ?.

Forget that. She is a big girl now, she should behave like one or get gone, imo.

Its a two way street, if she cared, she’d be making the effort to get along with you, not ranting about you not driving slowly enough for her latest home video.

You are her host, not her whipping boy !.

EDIT:
Yeah, that Dayus thing didn’t make any sense to me.
More MOD magic ?

I have both sides of the MIL coin,

On one hand she changed her working hours to work nights at the weekend so she can babysit Monday to Friday and the wife can work. She will babysit over night at a moments notice, she had littlelegs for the whole week when it snowed to avoid problems getting over. She will get to our house at 5:30 in the morning if we ask so we can go to the gym before work. She buys littlelegs loads of stuff, when we moved house we came home 2 days before and she had packed everything we own for us ready to move, lets me use her car.

On the other hand, she has virtually moved in to our house, refuses to use the room we have set up for her because she says its too cold so she sleeps in our living room, puts the heating up to a million all the time she is there, washes everything in detol so the house smells like an old peoples home, refuses to let littlelegs play in her play room because she says thats too cold too so all the toys and stuff are all over the kitchen, trys to watch all the soaps every evening, laughs at and talks to the tele, occupys 90% of our fridge and cupboard space with things that never get eaten, has a 30 minute pointless argument with my missus about nothing everyday, never wants to leave ever, wears my socks, and hangs the loo roll the wrong way round (against the wall)

All in all I guess it cancels out to zero

and hangs the loo roll the wrong way round (against the wall)

Throw her out immediately!

Yeah, the loo roll thing. Why do women do that ?, its so wrong you’d think they spot that, but obviously not ❓