Lost my son today

You are a strong person. You and your family will get through this together.

Lewis – you might not realise this, but you have already overcome a couple of big hurdles –
Telling your other kids was a huge one, and doing the school run today another.

Keeping a sense of normality for your older kids is so important, and going back to school will help a lot with that.

thank you again..

made me smile again reading the spongebob square pants.. (hope it dont come across stupid)

but i managed the school run i had a couple of parents try and say sorry but i kindly just said cant really do this….
got to his teacher had a cry explained that Alfie has been a little withdrawn and they are giving him one on one today which make me feel good..

today seems like we both had a break through. we had the funeral directors phone and sorted some thing out there.
had a good chat with George mum (Charlotte) about George, we have decided that instead of flowers saying son,george,teddy bears and thing. (not our thing but each to our own).

But what we was thinking was to have him travel with us on my lap and not on his own to a church or something then at the end what we wanted was family friends etc etc to write on a card to which we would tie to a balloon and once the funeral had finished we would let Alfie/Mae release them in hope that once they pop people may find one and find out about george….

I’m so glade that George has made an impact with you all (not intended) but it has made our suffering better knowing other people care and that other children managed to spend some little extra time with their loved ones….

It me that does the saluting i owe you all so much xxx

Nothing useful for practical to add, but deepest sympathy and we’re thinking of you and your family

Not much to add but you and family have my sympathy, welled up looking at the pics. 🙁 hugs.

Stuck for words…. and, struggling to see the screen…
Please accept a virtual man-hug from me!
Thoughts are with you all from all at MM towers.
Chris & Sharon

Bruders, I’ve just read through all these posts and related threads. I am really deeply touched by your situation and my heart screams out for you. I am also greatly moved by the outpouring of sympathy and support by others in this thread, you are are surely amongst good people. I’m afraid I have nothing i can say or do to make things different. All I have to offer is that when I have suffered loss which does not yet come close to this, I have lifted my head to look around, people often wonder what happens when someone dies, if anything lives on, and what that might be.
When i looked around, i saw the lives touched by the recently deceased, I saw how everyone they encountered has been changed, even if only a little, as a result of meeting them, this means all those close to you as well as all those hairy unknowns out here. Everyone is slightly changed as a result of the life of your young child. So without any reference to religion or faith, I think there is where he continues to live on, a little part of of all us is better for having known of his life, and there his ‘spirit’ lives, in all of us.

Hope it doesn’t seem too twee, but it was something which came out of reading everyone’s posts.

Keep coming back to this, like many others not sure what to say. It is my worst fear, I have 4 year old twins and we came through the rough start OK, looking at them after reading your story made me feel sad, happy, lucky and wanton at the same time. Can’t imagine what you are going through, or offer any usefull advice on how to cope, but keep strong for the rest of your brood.

bruders / Lewis,

I dont know what to say, And it saddens me to tears thinking about what your family is going through. We have our first child (boy) he’s 8 weeks old! we are all thinking of you.

stay strong!

I have a 20 month old daughter and I struggled to even read this thread for the fear of how upsetting it may be.

I am glad that I did though, reading the posts it is actually inspirational, and shows what a lovely race we humans can actually be when we aren’t bickering about insignificant crap

bruders my sympathies are with you and your family I can’t begin to imagine what you are going through. I hope all the kind words on this thread are in some way helping…

Bruders, you’ll get through it. Keep on going mate, they’re depending on you. Very best wishes.

An incredibly sad time and my thoughts are with you and the rest of your family. I think this forum is amazing and it’s heartwarming to see the outpouring of love and support – wonderful people. Stay strong and big hugs from me and my family.

What can anyone say? Such a tragic loss of life, especially at such a young age.

Myself along with a few others on this forum deal with loss of life in our jobs, but hearing a first person account of it on a personal level really can hit even the toughest of us.

I read this post the first hour it was posted and like many just haven’t been able to put it to words but I know I did one thing, I went and hugged my 7 month old daughter and my fiance, who is 12 weeks pregnant again. Because every day most of us take everything for granted, but this has been sat in my mind whilst at work the past few days and mine and my young families greatest sympathies go out to yourself and your family and all those affected…x

Again I return to this thread like many others and it has restored my faith in humanity ,the love and kind words people are sending you and your family .it may not feel it at the moment but with the passage of time things will get easier ,hold and cherish that which is close to your heart and the memory shall live on .
And always remember lewis we the Lycra clad rubber fetshists will alway be here when you need or want to talk .stand easy brother

Bruders – I can’t speak for others, but I think the balloon idea is great. George has already touched a lot of us already through your love and grief for him.

Take care,

J

Quite selfishly I really wanted to avoid this thread, but I would feel really bad knowing I have seen it & not replied.
I’m really sorry for your loss & I really do feel bad that I can not be more informative than previous posters, but if it helps in anyway then I really do feel for you & I hope your pain lessens over time.

Good luck feller.

Really sorry for your loss, a terrible terrible situation to be in. I am touched because my own daughter Isabelle was 6 weeks old yesterday so I cannot even begin to imagine your pain. Good luck to you and your family.

I’ve got nothing to add, nothing useful to say except that my thoughts are with you and your family.
I’m so very sorry.

Hello Bruders

Just saw this thread, so sorry to hear of your loss, my deepest condolences and prayers to you and your family.

Stay strong, think it is important to communicate with your loved ones throughout during this time of need.

TC
R

But what we was thinking was to have him travel with us on my lap and not on his own

Bless you all 😥 – keep returning to the thread and can find no words to add but am so glad that you’ve managed to find some comfort from the kind words of others.

Take care, be strong. and hold on tight to precious memories.

I’m going to try and track one of these down locally tomorrow:

After Bruders posts about the funeral, I’ll add a tag to it, then take it on a ride and release it…

Bruders

I am so sorry for your loss.

It is clear that you are holding up as well as can be expected and that you are amongst friends here on the forum. Some of the responses to this thread have been deeply moving and have made me think long and hard about my role as a father.

Stay strong.

Mark

Saw this post yesterday and been on my mind since.
So very sorry for your loss. I wish you and your family well.

Morning Bruders

You may have thought of this already or maybe someone has already posted this little idea…

Have you thought about saving this thread? Either physically or electronically.

Some lovely lovely things written by yourself and others, it would be a shame to “lose” them.

This thread seems to be helping you now, maybe in years to come it will again? Possibly a good idea to, at least, have the option of looking back at it, even if you choose not to ??

Anyway, hope you guys are bearing up. Our thoughts are still with you all.

Lewis, I am so sorry for your loss, and also in awe of the way you are dealing with it. George Spongebob Squarepants Brudenell was a beautiful boy who will always be with you all.

Please keep talking about him, one mistake my family made was not to talk about the members we had lost. It is important to keep the memories alive.

Thinking of you all.

as a dad with a 1 year old I can only imagine what this must feel like.

best wishes to you & family

we all moan about things, but nothing matters more than your children

I don’t know you, but my heart goes out to you and your family.

I’m so sorry Bruders.

I don’t know if this poem is the right one, or the right thing to say, but it’s a lovely one:

You can shed tears that he is gone
Or you can smile because he has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that he will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that he has left

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see him
Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember him and only that he is gone
Or you can cherish his memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what he would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

But what we was thinking was to have him travel with us on my lap and not on his own to a church or something then at the end what we wanted was family friends etc etc to write on a card to which we would tie to a balloon and once the funeral had finished we would let Alfie/Mae release them in hope that once they pop people may find one and find out about george….

a nice thing to do

now in tears at my desk in the middle of an office

I also meant to say, there is a long running thread on mumsnet for parents who have lost a child which you may find support from. The current thread is here

Lweis, Thank you so much for posting here. It is a great reminder how frail but deeply valued all family and friends are, especially children. As has already been expressed, we are all taking a little extra time with our children because of your posts. This has given all of us so much, so thank you.
Keep coming back here, if and when you can and to paraphrase, when you are going through hell, just keep going.

Still haven’t thought of anything remotely suitable to say. So sorry to hear about this, very best wishes to you all.

As with everyone else my heart goes out to you and your family.
Losing one of my children is my worst nightmares and something I worry about frequently and I cannot begin to imagine what you are going through.
My thoughts are with you all.

Just had a very difficult conversation with a lady at a printing factory who was holding back tears unsuccessfully, in turn setting me off and as I sit at my desk now it’s no better.

A suggestion was made earlier about taking a ride and releasing a balloon at the time of George’s funeral, and it seemed such a fitting one, and one that struck me as others may want to participate in, I spoke briefly with Lewis who is happy for George’s memory to be marked in that way if people so wish.

The that end, an order has been placed with a local balloon printing company for a set of balloons with a short message, that are available for anyone to release at the time of George’s funeral, if you so wish.

Take a ride out somewhere, take a moment, release the balloon (you will have to get helium yourself if needed!) or maybe just take a photo and drop it in the photo of the day thread. It’s entirely up to you.

These should be ready by the end of this week.

If anyone wishes to participate, please post just a ‘yes’ here, followed by an e-mail with your ‘alias’ in suject header and the address you wish for it to be posted to, to richardmcoulter@hotmail.com. I will then post out as soon as I receive them.

There are 200 available, which I think should be enough.

Thanks, Rich

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Been putting off replying for a total lack on knowing what to say… I keep coming back to this thread and keep being blown away by how you’re handling this. I’ve got a two year old boy at the moment and I feel like I can’t take my eyes off him since hearing your news. I feel angry when I work late and don’t see him in the evenings too now. Maybe that sense of perspective is what I’ll take away from this.

I seriously cannot comprehend how you must be feeling or even coping right now. You make me feel somehow braver about handling such a bereavement though.

I’m really sorry 🙁

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