Lost my son today

I had planned to cycle up one of the local hills with a great view over the south downs to release my balloons, but going to the park with my wife and son and releasing them there seemed more appropriate…that’s his finger pointing and asking where the balloons are going 🙂

brilliant thanks Green

Bruders – I have read this thread from the start and regularly read the updates but haven’t commented until now. I have had lots of sadness in my life and found grieving difficult until I understood the process. From your most recent posts I can sense an angry tone which you may find confusing, this is normal so please don’t beat yourself up over how you are feeling. You may or may not be aware that there are 4 stages to grief: denial, anger, depression and, acceptance and hope.

Here is a link to explain each stage: 4 stages of grief

I hope this is helpful to you.

Bruders – like jesterthefirst, I have seen your original post and refrained from posting any comments. My son was born on Xmas Day and we lost him just before his second birthday due to Epilepsy. I know where you are coming from mate, I really do. All I can say is that you have put your post/thread/feelings up on here – I wish I had done the same. I kept them to myself and, I don’t mind saying, it nearly killed me!

You have more friends on here than you will ever know. Just looking at the comments and support you have received on here already fills me with confidence and expectations that you have the support to see you through.

Drop me an e-mail if you want to have a chat.

Today i signed up for the british heart foundation race on the 16th june between london and brighton.

i’m going to do this on my single speed. and being a little naughty not going to raise for BHF but for Great ormand street as the hospital looked after George and my eldest son Alfie.
And find this more fitting if i can raise for them…

Next question is can i set up a charity donation online thing? 🙂

Trust me mate – you won’t have any trouble getting any donations from the guys and gals on here. Put your link up as soon as you can and I’ll be the first to donate.

Next question is can i set up a charity donation online thing?

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising-page/creation/get-started?pcid=2aa83b78-6879-4f99-82b2-1418bc58bea8

Just setting up the page now….. Im trying to make it more interesting maybe getting a spongbob costume etc

may get this if it means i can raise more

Spongebob

Simple one at the moment but will improve it.

you have all done so much so not asking for you to do more.. but if you wish to donate a small amount i will be even more grateful.

just giving

GOSH is a great cause.

Good luck with the London to Brighton.

Thank you Noteeth.

And thank you to everyone that has donated so far i still have 2/3 months to go and already had to raise my target.

I phone GOSH to day and they are sending me out a pack etc
For the first time this year im really excited about something that much so i went out and got a great deal on a 29er just in case the costume causes problems on my fixie.. (back up bike)

i also have a text service active so if anyone wishes they can donate anything from a £1 upwards. the info as follows..

Geor52 to 70070.

will supply pic’s of training soon as

And thank you again much love to all

Lewis, I’ll ride this with you mate & raise sponsorship, if that’s ok with you.

Would be nice if other STW members could do the same & really show how this place can make a difference, but possibly asking too much..

..anyone?

EDIT: I still have balloons which could be released, or tied to bikes.

bearnecessities your more than welcome to ride with us…. i will pay your entry fee to BHF you just need to sign up..

And if you set up a just giving page i can add you to our team..

Also if needs be as you are some distance your more than welcome to stay at ours?

I’ll pay my own entry thanks, but might take you up on offer of somewhere to kip!

I’m hoping more STW’ers will join in also…

ok mate. no worries any time.

And thank you

Bump…

http://www.justgiving.com/lewis-brudenell

Excellent cause and my families thoughts are with yours. Contribution made.

Looking to see if I can join you Lewis.

your more than welcome Nobby.. you can also join my just giving page if you wish (you dont have to).

If anyone wishes to join me either as a team memeber on the day or as a team member to help raise on just giving please just join…

And thank you all so much.

i have been extremely busy the last few days. and my total in just a few days is over £400 amazing!!!!

the reason i decided to do this for GOSH not only because they helped my two sons but because i wanted to know that because of us loosing George others have benefited in being able to kiss and cuddle there children and all because of your good will..

Quick message for DaveMBK, if you see this hi its Andy Edwards I used to ride with you and Anthony. Due to my hips I havent really ridden since before Anthony died but have recently been able to make a bit of a comeback, still havent managed to complete a club run with even the slow group yet though! Lots of new faces and not many of the old ones. I was thinking of Anthony a couple of weekends back as I hauled my old Kona around Afan as he had a very similar bike. Hope your doing OK, maybe see you out on a bike sometime. Take care Andy.

In 2008, our lovely 25 year old son and great club rider, was taken from us by a van driver

he was not only a great club rider but a great guy too

Would just like to say a massive thank you to all the donation so far

And to geetee1972 that sold his guitar and sent the funds to the just giving page..

I’m not asking anyone to do anything like that the odd £1 here and there.
Its going to a great cause.. every one knows of Great ormand street and the fantastic work they do to help little ones..

And to be honest you have all yet again so much da donation is the last thing on my mind from you guys/girls.

On an update from the family all seems to be slowly getting back to normal we all speak about George openly as its good to talk about him and help us really hearing the kids say nice things about him…

i went for a nice ride in the snow today (to blow the cobwebs away) and realized i need a good breakfast before i go anywhere and that im not that fit anymore..

Time to change that!!!

Much love Lewis

Good luck Lewis.

your life will never be the same again but cherish what you’ve got

Lewis,

Sorry I haven’t had time to reply to your text; I’ll give you a ring tomorrow evening if that’s okay?

Mark

Had coroner come to our house yesterday. Bit unusual but he said that geroge death is going to an inquest as it was unexplained.
We asked if there was any problems and he said that he has some yellow fluid in his heart and had an infection in his spleen and kidneys. We’re off to the hospital to ask exactly what these things are. as we have no idea.. We was told that no one to blame.

Also for myself… I went to the doctors just to get some help sleeping and I came out being g told I have anxiety and depression. Oh joy.

Oh the joy of reactive depression. Good luck with that one but you sound like you’re doing the right stuff. Keep talking till the cows come home, and then talk to them.

all the best

Ruddy hell what’s happening to me. I just been sent home. As I just had a mini breakdown… I’ve had enough

Bruders try the Samaritans http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you/contact-us

You’ve had an almost intolerably shit time thats whats happend. Take care and keep friends and family close.

Hang in there Bruders. There are good days and there are bad days, and you owe it to yourself to feel crap some times – it’s how we deal with these things. You’re doing the right thing talking about it.

As you’ve suggested previously, your work doesn’t provide you with sufficient distraction and leads to you focus on your loss. As a manual worker I know how challenging work can be when we are going through difficult times. Go out and do something with your wife/kids/family/friend today, instead of work.

Good suggestion from chipsngravy if you hit a particularly bad low.

Try not to let people categorise you mate with ‘anxiety/depression’ etc (and especially steer clear of anti-depressants IMO).

As said above, and you already know, you’ll have good days, bad days, even worse days and days which don’t make any sense at all. Talk through it and slowly the ratio of good/bad days will become more favourable.

It doesn’t help at the moment that the outstanding paperwork & processes are probably preventing you from moving on, the whole ‘event’ isn’t finished yet, your brain can’t wrap it up into a package and deal with it.

Of course, I’m no way qualified, just how I see it might be affecting you.

Keep talking with Charlotte & here, Rich

Also for myself… I went to the doctors just to get some help sleeping and I came out being g told I have anxiety and depression. Oh joy.

Well of course you do!

I’m not being insensitive, just stating a fact. Anybody who goes through what you have been through will be suffering the same thing. I would almost be more worried if you weren’t suffering from it.

It is an absolutely natural reaction to having a horrifyingly traumatic experience, and it will pass. If you put one of your limbs through the same amount of physical trauma as the amount of mental trauma that your head’s been through, I’m sure that you wouldn’t be surprised if that limb ended up being injured, and needed time to recover. Your brain is no different and it will be fine – it just needs some time to recover is all.

Keep talking, keep doing the things that help, and keep riding your bike.

Above all, keep remembering that there are a lot of people thinking of you, and rooting for you.

X

Hi Lewis, thought I’d give a bump for an update on all as to how things are going on; I’m sure a lot of us are still thinking about you.

Things have not really changed to be honest.

Still off work for stress,depression,anxiety etc etc but off to doctors tomorrow to give them an update.

having some counseling along with the tablets all seem to be working.

but the best help help still been you guy/girls.

Some days i feel ok and just go riding like i did sat in the lovely surrey hills but most days like the rest of this week i have just stayed in with the cant be bothered view.

not good i know but cant seem to shift it…. night time is the worst i dont sleep well (still waking to see if kids are breathing ) and i keep getting flash backs of George which i cannot shift..
Not been to see George (Charlotte does at least once a week) i just find it hard thinking of him being there while we are all at home warm dry getting on with things.

but other than that im slowly getting there.

Its going to take time, I’d suggest not being hard on yourself and take your time but try to keep riding. But to be honest wtf do I know. Today is exactly 2 years since my brothers sudden death, hadnt cried until just reading your post so you are at least doing me some good!

Sorry to bring the subject up again but just wanted to give a little update..

it been nearly 6 months now and the last couple of them have been ok life seems to be getting back on track but with a few slip up…

i do seem to be more angry now thou. i told my boss yesterday to f off .. totally out of my nature and for something so silly…

i think of george everyday and yesterday was the first time that i could actually visit him..
inquest is still on the cards and no confirmation on cause of death..

on a better note.. i would just like to thanks everyone for there help and support with out you guy/girls i think i would still be in a darker place .

And also to Team spongebob we have raised a massive £1014 to date for the London to Brighton ride on the 16th of this month

link to the progress

Team spongebob

the team t_shirts

Sorry to bring the subject up again but just wanted to give a little update..

No need I think we all shared a little of your grief tbh on this
I still dont know what to say on this thread tbh but I often stop and think about this thread and how you are doing so an update is nice.

Glad you seem to be doing a little better and that some good seems to have come from this with the donations

It’s good to hear from you bruders338.

I have often wondered how you have been doing, but didn’t want to start a thread in case it wasn’t appropriate.
I would have signed up for the London-Brighton too, but am getting married the following weekend, so time is sort at the mo. I will get round to donating on your just giving page though.

Sounds like you are doing all you need to be and don’t be too hard on yourself when times are right or you have ‘moments’.

Take care. I hope things keep improving four you and I hope the ride fits well on the 16th. I’ll be thinking of you all.