I think I'm about to be diagnosed with cancer, and I'm fairly scared.

just found this thread after a time off, just want to wish you and your family all the best, your attitude is humbling

yeah – best wishes for you both. Really thought provoking your approach to it all, and your determination even through the bad times is inspiring.

Hi Mark and Meg

Still got nothing much more than best wishes to offer you. But those best wishes are still with you. And will be 'til you've cracked it.

Higs

Echo exactly what Higs said. Keep fighting.

I've been reading this thread over the last few days, but didn't feel it was "my place" to add anything, since I don't know you and haven't any personal experience.

But I do want to say that your strength, courage, PMA and downright balls are humbling (and I do, of course, mean both of you!)

I wish you both the very best of luck with this. You're the very epitome of what I would hope to be when faced with this kind of adversity, and I will be joining the many, many people on here who are rooting for you all the way.

Hi i've just read this post and would like to offer you some words of encouragement. I was taken ill last year and had to stay in hospital while doctors a) figured out what was wrong with me and b) fed me through a drip to stop me losing weight/nutrients. I was passing a lot of blood and constantly hooked up to I.V fluids. after almost 2 months and having filled two drug-charts it was decided that i needed an emergency operation to remove my bowel. I had to deal with it quickly and shortly after the operation the reality that i would never be the same again sunk in and i hit rock bottom. I put a towel over my head and cried my eyes out.

Having come through that was like being born into a different world. I was introduced to foods that i hadn't been allowed to eat and they tasted divine. I had a new appreciation for everything around me, new found respect for people – just being allowed out of hospital and seeing trees and buildings and people on the streets made me realise how lucky i am. You will have highs and lows but stay strong and positive, focus on all the things you CAN do and all the things you DO have, and when you get through the other side, life will taste SWEET 🙂

Mark best of luck to you.. reading this makes a lot of daft petty things in life seem so insignificant, your positive outlook is an inspiration! Focus on yourself and get well!

Mark.

I cant add anything to whats been said however you come across as an incredible bloke and i wish you all the luck in the world.

Hi guys,

I was away from a computer last week so missed this post…

In 1996 I was diagnosed with testicular cancer and reading through this lot has bought back a lot of memories and feelings I had at the time… I was scared, scared for those around me but you sound just like me, I took it head on, your comments last week – With regards to the cancer, I don't know how the hell I'm going to deal with it, but I will. I intend to nail this mofo to the floor, or at least go out kicking, screaming and getting my monies worth. – was my attitude exactly. How I got through it all, well at the time a young american cyclist had just been diagnosed with the same thing and (remember this was almost prior to the internet!) I used to send people out scouring everything for information on how he was doing and coping with the treatment. Also I used to do a lot of kickboxing and had been taught by a very good experienced professional fighter, and I took my ring experience into the hospital with me, as far as I was concerned cancer wasnt going to last the first two rounds, mentally I was very strong to take this on.

As it turned out I was incredibly fit and the surgery and the first couple of rounds of chemo went without any problems (other than me bouncing off the walls in the hospital – I wasnt made to sit still…) the third rounmd was the only time it effected my in the traditional feeling sick kind of way but even that wasnt as bad as the people around me. I got through the chemo, responded very well to all th treatment ans only then had to go back for check ups and 4 years ago I was given the all clear. Id beaten the bastard. When I walked out of that hospital that day I sat outside the hospital and wept like a baby, and only later realised this was the only time Id ever shed a tear over it….

Today I havent seen the inside of a hospital (other than the birth of my son) since have a georgous son and another due in a month, and a beautiful girlfriend who was my rock all the way through. I truly hope your experience mirrors mine with the same outcome… My thoughts are with you…

If you want any other info, whatever let me know…

steve

Hello guys,

Sorry for not having been in contact for a while. Meg and I decided to check out for a few days and have come to stay with some friends for a few days. To be honest, the break has been something of a revelation; just getting away from all the family problems has been absolutely vital for the pair of us. There is a limit to the number of times you can explain the fact that you don't have any more information/explanations for them…

Crazy thing is, two weeks ago I couldn't even breathe, and my heart was slowly drowning in a mixture of fluid and blood. I found it impossible to walk my dog to the end of the garden. I've just spent the last two days hammering the North York moors, with the dog looking at me in despair, yet I'm awaiting grim news realting to my health! I haven't felt this good in a long time, which is pretty ironic…

The time that has passed since I left the hospital last Thursday has been both positive and negative. In terms of my mental health, the significance of being out of hospital cannot be overestimated. I simply feel better for not being there, which is pretty important for both Meg and I. However, as each day passes, I'm starting to think more about next Tuesday and getting the final confirmation as to what the identity of the primary cancer actually is. I've found that in moments of quiet, I'm getting anxious and on occasion start to fear the worse. But I'm focusing on the positives; I'm fit (!), strong, and moody; I think these will all work in my favour.

I found out that my work contract is a bit of an issue. It turns out that my Academy contract stipulates that I can only receive 50 days full pay, and 50 days half pay, then nothing from that point on. This is a massive pain, as if I worked in a normal state school I'd get 6 months statuatory full pay and 6 months half pay. A real concern, but I have a meeting with my headteacher on Thursday and I'll see if theres any room to move on it.

I'm concious of the fact that this thread might start to piss a few folks off. I understand totally; this is a cycling forum, not somewhere for me to unload how I feel about my unfortunate situation. If people want me to bin it off, please let me know. I think that I'll probably start a blog at some point, and if people want to follow it thats fine.

Thanks for the continued supportive posts. I've replied to those of you that have PM'd me, but there are so many of you to thank. Cheers all!

MandM

Mark and Meg…don't think anyone is going to get pissed off with this thread!
Amazing that you keep posting…hope it works out with your headteacher.

Nothing to add that hasn't already been said.

Keep posting, keep smiling, and keep being moody! Can't begin to imagine how I would be in your situation. As GG/ernie-lynch said…just focus on the here and now.

All the best,

FCxx

glad to hear you've had a good few days and a bit of space.

On this point specifically…

I'm concious of the fact that this thread might start to piss a few folks off. If people want me to bin it off, please let me know.

… I'd suggest anyone pissed off by the thread doesn't read it again.

"I'm concious of the fact that this thread might start to piss a few folks off"

Dont stop adding to this thread !

'sin in the Chat forum anyway – not the Tyre (soon to be Torch) forum. Keep posting and keep positive – I keep checking back every couple of days.

Besides – I have no desire currently to read a forum dedicated to cancer so it's insightful.

Nice to hear from you and that your getting out and enjoying what you can.

I'm concious of the fact that this thread might start to piss a few folks off. I understand totally; this is a cycling forum, not somewhere for me to unload how I feel about my unfortunate situation.

Anyone who is should keep their comments to themselves.

I've just spent the last two days hammering the North York moors

😀

Agreed about the thread, keep it going if you have time. I'd imagine it to be theraputic. Good luck with the work situation, hopefully they'll be reasonable.

Echo the last few above – suggest anyone who gets pi$$ed off with/by it can read any of the other threads.

2nd wot Drac said.

"I'm conscious of the fact that this thread might start to piss a few folks off. I understand totally; this is a cycling forum, not somewhere for me to unload how I feel about my unfortunate situation"

i think you'll probably find that there is alot of people following this mate so don't stop me for one .

you've talked about you mental state you will have wild mood swings good and bad the thing you must remember is your are stronger and better than cancer and as you say focusing on the positives

keep posting fella its nice hearing from you 🙂 glad youre feeling good keep knackering youre dog on some sweet rides 😀

Please continue to post whilst you feel you want to. If at any point you decide to keep things to yourself we'll all understand.

keep posting dude and enjoy the rest of your break, good luck for tuesday too, gazman and family

keep posting mate….dry trails, ride 'em!

petesgaff I have not read all of this thread just your posts really and so many people replied I thought I'd ot bother.

But, I'd just like to say that your a f**king nutter and inspiration and I love ya.

If I knew your name and address and place a bet on you winning 8)

Keep writing – the reality check is good IMHO. I was moaning my car is going to cost a packet this month after it died las tweek and the MOT is due. Like that's anything to be hacked off about.

Kick the Big C's ass (and leave a footprint).

Chris.

fit strong and moody you say? puts you in lance category chap.
you should nail it arse to the wall then.
best of luck .

I've just spent the last two days hammering the North York moors

Reading that has made my **** day, it has ! 😀

Well done ! ! !

BTW whilst I can understand how 'the financial situation' must now be a very unwelcome worry right now, try not to dwell too much on it Mark ….. it really really isn't that important – your health and happiness are far more important. You're not going to go hungry or homeless, although you might indeed go without a few (and ultimately meaningless) material things – but hey, just concentrate on looking after yourself and being
happy 8)

….. and yes, keep posting !

cycling forum my fat ass, Shonkytrackworkd is the centre of the interweb, its where the freaks hang out….and we just all happen to like bikes 🙂

I think you'll find this thread means a lot to a great many people here.

Keep it comming big boy, were all with you.

Mark -on the financial side – talk to McMillan.

You should not have to worry on that side of things and they are there to help.
http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Get_Support/Financial_help/Financial_help.aspx
sopme advise on that page.

I'm concious of the fact that this thread might start to piss a few folks off. I understand totally; this is a cycling forum, not somewhere for me to unload how I feel about my unfortunate situation

Sorry – wrong. I don't know you, don't know anything about you, but I'm wishing the best for you. it looks like everyone else here is as well
Everyone needs a place to go to let off steam, this one of them. It's here, use it.

Keep posting as and when you want to, this is a reality check for a lot of us and we are all pulling for you. Beat it.

Good luck mate for when you need it and don't stop posting.
There are things more important than riding bikes and your/our health and loved ones are up there.

Harder to do than say but try not to worry about money, getting well will be the best way to sort that out yea?
Don't know about you but I know if I got cancer some payments/all of the morgage would get paid off.
Main thing is beating it so that doesn't matter though, and you seem to be up for that alright.

Good luck again, thoughts are with you and your family.

This is life – keep posting we all need to know how you are. When you get better we should organise a celebration STW supporters and survivors ride!

I really don't know what to say – Good Luck.

I'm concious of the fact that this thread might start to piss a few folks off.

Absolutely not a chance fella! I've been lurking on this thread since it started and I'm rooting for ya! Give 'em hell!

Hi Mark and Meg,

Like a lot of people I dont know either of you but I admire your strength!!

Keep up the posting while you want to and dont worry about pissing people off. Dont want to read it, dont click on the thread.

Dont know what more to say but livestrong.

Jon

I'm concious of the fact that this thread might start to piss a few folks off. I understand totally; this is a cycling forum, not somewhere for me to unload how I feel about my unfortunate situation. If people want me to bin it off, please let me know. I think that I'll probably start a blog at some point, and if people want to follow it thats fine.

If you stop updating, we will hunt you down and forcibly sit you in front of your pc to make you.

If this thread does piss anyone off then I would suggest to them that they find another cycling forum to use, only perhaps not so politely.

Great to hear you've had a break and you both enjoyed it so much, that will have done you the power of good I am sure.

Keep posting! It's a real inspiration.

Like everyone else has said, please keep posting – it's good to hear from you and posting could help keep you sane at times. And anyone who has a problem with it should, as others have also said, piss right off.

And I second Diane's suggestion – when you've kicked it's arse we should def have a supporters and survivors ride.

Keep at it, both of you – there is so much positive energy flowing your way you can't fail to kick this diseases sorry old arse.

While I was going through it all I had a similar problem with work and pay. I applied for disability living allowance. I did have a to 'lie' a bit on the form (because at that point I could walk more than a 100 meters, and some of the questions on there were quite ridiculous). They sent a doctor round to assess me, who was very understanding.

Depending on what Meg is doing she could apply for disability carers allowance.

And also apply for a disabled parking badge. All those payments at the hospital car park add up.

I also got a few grants from Macmillan, but this wasn't a regular payment, rather to ease the stress of a big shop or something like that.