I think I'm about to be diagnosed with cancer, and I'm fairly scared.

Great news on your recovery Mark.

Your an inspiration to us all.

🙂

Pete, I don't know you, but your story really has struck a chord with me. I really do wish you a full recovery, and do keep posting on here.

All the best man

Col

Hope you and MEg are still fighting the good fight.

Very inspiring post Pete, thanks for keeping us updated.

Keep positive, keep posting, all the best 😉

Hi, great story about the gp!

Im a physio not too far away, I would be happy to look at and hopefully sort out any muscular pains you have.

Not looking for payment, it would be an honour to help you keep riding your bike. 🙂

Drop me a line at oxtedphysio

I've just had a phone call from Chuck Norris. He's been approached with a view to playing Petesgaff in a forthcoming biopic about how he kicked this sarcoma's ass.

Problem is, Chuck needs reassuring that he's man enough to take the part of on.

I just picked up on this thread earlier today, being a new member of the site—but wanted to pass along my best wishes for continued recovery. I had a bout with cancer 5 years ago and, while not pleasant and very unnerving, nothing compared to what you have been going through.
I think your willingness to share it is a great inspiration to people in general and to others dealing with the same. Belated congrats on the wedding—I know my wife contributed to my recovery in so many ways!!
Again, best wishes from the across the Atlantic and keep up the fight!!

Thanks guys! Some amazing support and very funny posts!

I'm due to update you allabout the state of play. I went for a CT and MRI scan last week, in order to establish a pre-chemo baselines (even though I've had two chemo sessions so far!). My chest has been painful for a while now, and its difficult not to be paranoid about whether the cancer has spread to my ribs and sternum. I know that I overstretched it prior to Christmas, and that there is a probability that the scar tissue from the heart op might well result in limitations in movement, but its easy to lose perspective when there are unknown variables.

I posted a bit ago about setting up a charitable foundation, to help raise funding for research into rare cancers, and providing opportunities for young people with cancer to participate in a range of activities. The responses have been honest and mixed; I've no doubt that it'll be very difficult to do, but its not like things aren't tricky at the mo anyway…!

So; I need ideas for raising funds. Have a look at my other post to see what I intend to do. If you can help, that'd be great. If you can think of barriers, raise 'em. We're not scared of tackling stuff head on.

Also, if you're in the London area on Sunday, I'll be joining the london ride meeting at Richmond bridge at 10am. I'd love to meet any of you that've supported us throughout, just to say thanks and make you laugh with my appalling cycling skills, chemo-tiredness from tomorrow permitting.

Mark and Meg

As always a pleasure to read your posts and bloody dust in my eyes again. Sounds like you've knocked it on it's arse so go and finish it off. Best wishes and if you come to the sswc then you have a bed and a van at your disposal.

It's been a week now since I visited the Marsden for my third Caelyx chemo. My old man came with me, and although there was a substantial balls-up in processing my bloods by my GP the day ran pretty smoothly.

Those of you that have followed this thread from the beginning will recall how my dad wasn't particularly helpful in the initial stages. We had a minor disagreement, mainly due to the difficulty he found in accepting the diagnosis. Since that moment, my father has been a rock. Absolutely bullet-proof, and unshakeable in his belief that I can overcome this.

This means a great deal to me – there are plenty of folk (family and friends) who, when discussing the fact that angiosarcoma is both incurabled and inevitably fatal, smile and tell me that they know that I'll beat it. But I've been a teacher for a fair while now, and I'm pretty good at reading people's eyes; and you can tell when they don't believe what they're telling you. Not my old man – he's convinced I'll be the first to beat it.

I mentioned in the last post about my concerns regarding the pain in my chest, and how I was worrying that the lesions had spread. I tried to put it out of my mind prior to the chemo, but little things seem to drag it back to the front of your mind at regular intervals. Therefore I was prepared for the worst and, after being weighed and having my stats taken, we went in for the consultation.

My registrar had the results from the previous week's MRI and CT scans, and proceeded to tell us that both showed a marked improvement in the lesions, with reductions in some of the larger ones. This, he explained was unexpected, and was far beyond the expectations of the team. I sat there dumbfounded, expecting to hear that the lesions had increased in number and size, but he simply smiled and said that although they couldn't determine why a reduction had taken place, the evidence was plain to see.

There are a number of things that go through your mind when you're expecting bad news but instead receive exactly the opposite. Panic, fear, disbelief, elation; you name it, I went through it! With my head on, the news is very encouraging, and certainly flies in the face of what they thought would happen. Either the tumour excision or the Caelyx, or a combination of both, but something is reducing the tumours on my skeletal system. Can't be a bad thing…

There's more stuff, and it relates to the chaemo and its effects, but precisely because of said effects I need to go to bed. I'll update tomorrow.

Thanks for listening!

Mark

great news, thanks for posting. Keep on keeping on, eh?

i cried reading that.

nice one Mark, onwards and upwards

Dude you are given this bastard a battering, such fantastic news. Sleep tight 😀

Never under estimate the power of self belief, Mark you have inspired my next tattoo! 😀

I read this entire thread at work last week. Wanted to post then but was not sure what to say. I am awed by your attitude and strength, you are nothing short of magnificent.

Please continue being magnificent.

Keep doing what you're doing, Mark. Just because they don't know why you're beating it doesn't mean you're not!

Jedi – Leave it out, you'll set me off…

Suggsey – I'll email you a couple of pictures, so that the ink artist gets a suitable likeness. Where are you getting it? Truth be told, my face on your arse will probably save you some cash!! 😆

Good night folks.

Good to hear that, my wife was asking about you last night and this is someone who i had mentioned this thread to in passing. Seems she looked up STW, read the thread from start to finish and is now another person standing behind you giving a large V-sign to your cancer.

Positive thinking is so important – keep it going and you'll win this one.

Keep looking forwards with your head up mate – as they say around here – "a gaun fit is aye getting"

Big up dude…! 🙂

**** brilliant, stay strong fella. A positive attitude goes along way!

i find it overwhelming

So glad it's going well mate. Hope you get out on that Clown bike some more soon and have some fun 🙂

I started reaing this post post when there were only 3 or 4 replies on the first page, I kept following it, quite often with tears in my eyes (or down my face 😳 ) and it is SO good to hear such positive things.

I was going to be out on the South Downs ride you came to around Christmas time, but, depite living a mile away couldn't make it! I was really loking forward to meeting you, you are an inspiration to us all.

I have a nephew who at 5 years old has been through the whole cancer thing, the rest of the family shaved their hair off to make him feel 'normal'. It's such a horrible thing to happen, it makes the positive stories even more powerful!!

Keep on kicking it Mark, and Meg, you are a Star!!!!

grinning

First off, I'd like to apologise for not posting on this thread before (or even having read any of it)… I have my reason, that being that sometimes I just can't control the emotion that is set off in me when people talk about Cancer. I have lost several people, including my Mum at a fairly early age, to Cancer, and have many friends that have likewise lost friends, relatives and parents themselves. It is fair to say that though I have never had Cancer myself (at least not yet) that it has played a massive part in my life to date.

Reading that you are battling with the bastard disease still, well my heart goes out to you. But that you are fighting it, still, and in such a beligerent manner… And not only that but for whatever reason, you seem to be defying the odds against you (and hopefully long may it continue) and are winning, if not quickly but at least little battles here and there.

Words fail me right now…

Well I'm off to bed, tears in my eyes (as I knew there would be if I even opened this thread!), with a new-found respect for someone on an internet forum I've not even met!

Keep up the good work, and make damned sure you live your life to the fullest, if only to spite the evil **** disease! Don't you dare become a statistic mate… Prove to the world it can be beat!

Fantastic news, really brilliant.
Obviously your medical team are a bit shocked but clearly they and you are doing 'something' right – that's the main thing.
J's sarcoma prof said quite often the chemo is almost 'guess work' – they know which drugs tend to work for which type of tumour but it's never set in stone. Obviously this is the one that's kicking yours into touch. Quite convincingly, too.
And so great that your dad's got his head round it now in such a positive way, that's got to help so much too.

Mark, just keep doing what you're doing – looks like you really are set to break new ground here. Like I said elsewhere – with the support of your wife, your family and thousands (?) of hard-assed cyclists behind you, you can't fail. Good man!

Now for the other side of things…

Last night as I went to bed I wondered whether I should have just reeled off an enormous post listing the highs and lows of where I am presently, but to be honest I was just too tired. Which ties up with the nature of this post actually.

There is a dark side to my situation. This sounds absurd in the context of what I (we) are going through, but it's important that people understand and that I'm able to 'purge' myself and how I feel. That doesn't mean that it can't be done with humour though, albeit through gritted teeth!

I'm tired. They talked about fatigue in our initial meeting with the Sarcoma team, and like a meathead I dismissed it privately as something that wouldn't happen to me because I wouldn't allow it to. There is something to be said for my hard-arsed approach; I feel it's kept me alive to this point. But y'know what? The fatigue and the effect it has on your attitude is astonishing.

Here's an example. Last week after the chemo I felt okay for a couple of days. There have been a few issues; the rib/stomach/ab thing still hurts; I now have a substantial amount of mottled 'rashing' (is that a word?) around my sides, chest and back; diahrroea and I are constant companions – which would be so bloody bad if the conversation didn't go like this;

Me: So… How are things?

Arse: BBBBBRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAPP! BRRRAAAAAAP! PTTTTSSSST! BRRRUUP BRRRUP!

Me: Oh. I see. Shall we leave? Have we finished?

Arse: BBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAP! THHHHSST THHHHSSSST BRRRRUP! THHHHHSSSSSST THHHHHSSSSSSSSSSSST!!!!!

Me: (sigh)… You could've at least waited 'till I'd bought a sodding magazine….

Arse: BRRRAAAAaaaaaaap…. (continues for about an hour…)

I'm back at school, albeit on a slightly reduced timetable, and trying to sort out the mess that's been established in my absence is a constant drain of energy. The kids are great – most of them shit themselves if I glare, due to my now 'psychotic-cross-between-Vin-Diesel-and-Charles-Manson-when-he-shaved-it-all-off' hairdo, and this tends to pre-empt any awkward questions.

I still haven't received any form of phased induction back to work after my illness, and half the staff I walk by are, for the want of a better word, frightened. This isn't their fault; to many of them I'm the plucky fighter that'll probably expire at some point in the near future, and this is through a lack of knowledge and understanding.

But the fatigue is the main issue. I don't know how to deal with it, truth be told. I use all my energy convincing people that I'm bulletproof, and receive the same comments all the time:

" You've got cancer? I'd never have known, you look so well "

" You're doing so well! Now could you help me move this skip/building/tractor " (delete as appropriate)

But the energy needed to do these things is immense; maybe even beyond what I'm capable of. I hope not, but I worry a lot about it. And those fears seem to be amplified when I'm tired, which makes me difficult to be with I think.

I worry a lot about Meg. She's trying very hard at the moment to make a case for her firm keeping her on in September; working long hours, grafting at home, volunteering for things etc. The legal world has been impacted in exactly the same way as every other industry, and whether they will be able to employ their trainees at the end of the year is a concern for both of us. We've been looking at property in and around Tonbridge, just in case she has to work in the Big Smoke. So if you are a partner in a firm specialising in PI (and high quality stuff; not injurylawyers4u) then email me; she really is that good…!

Having just prostituted my wife, I'm going to go to work. Thanks for listening, and I'll update later today.

Good God sir, I can't imagine all that you ( and your wife ) are going thru but somehow you still manage to write an email that just made me spackle my screen with half drunk coffee.

I don't know you…will likely never meet you but in more ways that you can imagine you have been an inspiration to me ( and to a mate in the states who is battling esophageal cancer ) and at more times than I've thought appropriate.. a real laugh.

thank you and I really hope ( and pray if you believe in that stuff ) that you continue kicking this nasty "C".

cheers,

greg

ahh read from the start and not a regular poster but…

YOUR AN EFF-IN LEGAND!!!

keep it up!!!

Mark, nice to meet you on the ride on Sunday..(we chatted for a while on the wrong side of Richmond Bridge!) Hope to see you on the next ride.

Hi Mark

First of all YEEEHAAA!

Secondly of course you will feel exhausted – there's the constant mental strain huge emotional strain before you even start with the impact chemo will have on your body. From what i have seen the chemo can get progressively more tiring but obviously needs to be done and then you can recover from all the side effects afterwards.

I hope you aren't doing too much going back to work, but totally understand that you would want to. On the one hand i think i may have an idea of where you are at but realistically i can't possibly have any idea whatsoever as this thing is so huge and dominates every minute of your waking and sleeping hours.

One thing i do know though is that i have a very positive feeling for the outcome, you have such a fighting spirit. There will be dark days but you will be back.

Will be thinking of you.

Thirdly YEEEHAAA! x

Loving the conversation with your butt, if that doesn't sound dodgy… Keep a good book next to the pan!

Your attitude is immense, but don't let it slip by that you're still ill and you have to look after yourself and rest especially as chemo progresses. That said, you seem to be doing a good job of kicking its ass so hang in there and stay strong.

Hang in there!! You'll get this licked in no time and then you can get back to normality with Meg (who's being a legend as well as you from what you have said).

Please though, just try and take it easy. Your mind sounds both bulletproof and well up to the job of looking after you, but your body might not be, so treat yourselves to a lie in once in a while and don't push yourself too hard.

Keep at it and love to you both.

😯 😕 😥 😆 stay strong Mark. (and Meg)

You should be utterly selfish and say no to any requests for help which you know will leave you tired. there are other people who can do it instead. ask to see a dietitian about the best energy foods which won't squirt out the other end. live long and prosper

I hope someone's saving this thread. It'll make great reading in a Sunday supplement 🙂

High5 anyway re the illness 🙂

Stay strong.

Think of the fatigue as pre-baby training. Glad to hear the scan went ok and glad to hear about yer dad being a brick. Thought you might be heading for a Luke Skywalker/Darth Vader kinda relationship for a sec.