How to sort this one out?

You and Junkyard Lord longford should start the ‘black and white’everyone is nice club.

I dont think someone who has an affair is definitely morally bankrupt- might be if they are a politician who preaches family values I suppose but probably just a hypocrite. I would struggle to argue that the Ripper was not bad because he never fiddled his tachograph records or broke the speed limit and as Hitler looked after his dogs he was ok really.

Some issues are just black and white , though the individuals may have done some good at some point the bad is just so bad nothing can redeem it.

I agree that this is not such an example.

anyone that shags a married person is of dubious moral values

I am sure we have all dont things we would not like to be used as exemplars or our moral values.

She might be the best person in the world for you. It’s worth finding out at least.

yes surely everyone’s ideal woman is having an affair with a married man, loves them and cant find the time for you 😕

Have as much bedroom fun as you can until you get bored, then move on.

Sloppy 2nds anyone?

Morality aside (and none of us is perfect), you’d hope the older one gets the less stupid mistakes one makes, and her investing in a married man indicates deceit, desparation and stupidity IMO.

I do think she’s young and naive a bit yeah. I don’t know the whole story, but from what she tells me, it sounds like they met and she fell for him quite quickly, before knowing he was actually married. She finds out he’s married, and tries to regain some control over her life by actively stopping the physical side of things with him. Now I don’t know for sure it’s 100% like that, but I can at least sympathise a small amount with her. You can’t help who you fall for, but you can help who you choose to let walk all over you or not. She told me all the classic lines of “they’re going through a rough patch, he keeps telling me he’s going to leave her soon” at which I tried not to seem deceitful and laugh at in front of her, but they were all bollox… Classic string alongs which she’s been falling for, but at least (in my eyes) she had the self respect to put an end to the physical side, although obviously its not forced his hand as much as she’d have liked.

Oh, and yes she is a bit immature, but so can we all be. She’s 27, she’s definitely still a bit impressionable. I’m almost 32, this other guy who’s married is only 29/30 apparently, and he’s not even been married very long, just sounds like one of those who likes to have his cake and eat it…

She’s not had any for what did you say, 6 months?

Stop thinking about it as some big thing and just have a bit of fun.

Not sure what you’ve got to lose ??

Think you’ve probably hit the nail on the head. Just don’t emotionally commit anything until she can perhaps. In the meantime, be there when she’s up for a bit of fun…

What gets me though, is I’d find all this very easy if she was really cold towards me when we met up. On Wednesday, after an hour or so, she was all over me! Odd eh…

So why not say to her something like,

“Well, obviously now that you’ve told me that nothing serious can ever happen. You’ve made it clear that I’ll always be the second choice. But it doesn’t mean we can’t hang out and have fun and if anything happens it happens. I definitely can’t see us being in an exclusive type relationship though.”

I don’t like playing games, but the man does have a point… Think I need to be Mr. Cool as a Cucumber don’t I! Not easy, but I shall give it a try…

TandemJeremy – Member
No molgrips – anyone that shags a married person is of dubious moral values.

You might want to reconsider that statement.

I’m pretty sure that there are lots of STW posters shagging married people.

I am sure we have all dont things we would not like to be used as exemplars or our moral values.

We all like to think of ourselves as being upstanding citizens, but we’ve all wavered from time to time. I was being strung along for a couple of months a few years ago by a girl who assured me that she and her boyfriend had ended things for good. Looking back on that one, I know I was the emotional crutch she felt she needed at the time, and after a couple of months of using me for a bit of support when she felt like it, we parted. Bumped into her maybe 6 months later, in town, with my then new GF (now my ex!) and she was walking along hand in hand with the guy she’d supposedly left… Anyway…

Have also found out that a couple of women I met on nights out before, were married too… Only after a couple of days, and a “coming clean” text message on their part… And of course I walked away. But would it be so easy if you only found out after 2/3 months, and you’d really fallen for the other person? For me, not so difficult, but I guess it might be for some.

satsoma – Member
I don’t mean to be harsh or anything, but (from a woman’s perspective) if you like someone a lot, you’re never too busy ‘going to the gym’ to see them.

The beginning of a relationship, getting to know each other, is really exciting and fantastic. And she has decided that she’s too busy to see you for a few weeks.+ many

How to sort this one out?

take up bestiality?

What gets me though, is I’d find all this very easy if she was really cold towards me when we met up. On Wednesday, after an hour or so, she was all over me! Odd eh…

No, not odd at all – she’s an attention seeker, this is what they do.

If she is 27 play her this video it may help 😆

druidh – Member

“TandemJeremy – Member
No molgrips – anyone that shags a married person that they are not married to is of dubious moral values.”

You might want to reconsider that statement.

I’m pretty sure that there are lots of STW posters shagging married people.

😆 pendant

lots of STW posters shagging married people

Were those posters free in the mag? I bet they were sponsored by Knog

pendant

She told me all the classic lines

You need to remind her that these are classic lines. She is likely in denial…

Well, obviously now that you’ve told me that nothing serious can ever happen

Don’t actually say this, it’ll cause problems later.

How about this radical idea:

Two people like each other, two people hang out, have sex, are open and honest, and have a good time.

i hope mrsgrips isnt reading this! it comes across like if you met someone you liked, as long as you were honest with them it’d be fine to cheat on mrsgrips.

me no likey.

bad molly, back in your basket.

Switching relationships isn’t bad unless you are married or have other strong commitments. Which I do.

Neither mboy or little perky redhead (LPR for short) are, afaik.

what did i say about staying in your basket?!?!?!?!

and its wrong to objectify wimmin with phrases like ‘little perky redhead’ i call mysogymathingy on you and report you to TJ.

for the record, i still think mboy deserves beterrer. if a wimmin turned round to me and said they were in love with another man, married or not, then thats a pretty big slap in the underbeard that its time to move on and find someone who isn’t already in love with somebody else.

and its wrong to objectify wimmin with phrases like ‘little perky redhead’

Using adjectives is not objectification. All we know about her physically is that she’s small, she’s perky, and she’s a redhead.

if a wimmin turned round to me and said they were in love with another man, married or not, then thats a pretty big slap in the underbeard that its time to move on and find someone who isn’t already in love with somebody else.

Read between the lines!

i am reading between the lines, she’s telling mboy she’s in love with another man. you’re the one encouraging him to go for it 😛

for the record, and i’m pretty sure i can talk for ALL wimmin around the world on this one having once shared a train carriage with a wimmin…. when a wimming tells you she’s in love with another man, its not a challenge to fight for her, its her saying she’s in love with another man. if it is a challenge then she’s playing games with you and she’s not worth chasing after. so basically, either way, its a “GET OF MY TRAIN YOU WHORE!” situation

How about a picture of a red squirrel licking a sap?

Phil – I look at married women, lesbians and women that tell me to “f’ off you creepy weirdo” all in the same way… it’s only a matter of time before they wake up to the fact that they want me.

i am reading between the lines, she’s telling mboy she’s in love with another man.

You are reading the lines, not between them!

Mrs Grips said she was in love with another man when she met me – should I have let it go?

should I have let it go?

So many answers, so little time…

Mrs Grips said she was in love with another man when she met me – should I have let it go?

😕 Is he dead now?

No, he’s getting on with his life in the same town Mrs Grips is from. We have yet to bump into him…

We have yet to bump into him…

Yes, we, because whenever we go back there I am with Mrs Grips. Plus I don’t know what he looks like.

Neither mboy or little perky redhead (LPR for short) are, afaik.

Loving the acronym. Sums her up pretty well! I think she’d like it anyway… 😉

Phil – I look at married women, lesbians and women that tell me to “f’ off you creepy weirdo” all in the same way… it’s only a matter of time before they wake up to the fact that they want me.

The problem here is I don’t have the same level of denial that you posses! Shame, cos it sounds truly blissful on your planet… 😉

If she is 27 play her this video it may help

V funny but quite true… I know quite a few women that have felt, or do feel like that. One of my longest friends is 32, she’s been single a year or so now for the first time since she was about 17, and apparently her parents keep giving her grief about when’s she going to find someone, get married, give them grandchildren etc… Bit unfair IMO!

for the record, i still think mboy deserves beterrer. if a wimmin turned round to me and said they were in love with another man, married or not, then thats a pretty big slap in the underbeard that its time to move on and find someone who isn’t already in love with somebody else.

Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. Maybe she deserves massively better than the prick who’s been leading her on at arms length for ages. I think in her own mind she knows that if any of her mates found out about the married bloke, they’d give her a real roasting. That and though I don’t really know them that well yet, I live with one of her best mates and have met a few of the others, and from what I’ve been told the feedback was good.

How about this radical idea:

Two people like each other, two people hang out, have sex, are open and honest, and have a good time.

I totally agree. Not exactly radical, but would be perfect if it just worked. Am 99.9% sure it won’t just work though if the married guy is still texting her with false promises like “I’ll be out soon, just give me a couple more months, it’ll all be done and I’m yours forever then” or the like, as she’ll be thinking about him.

molgrips – Member
Two people like each other, two people hang out, have sex, are open and honest, and have a good time.

Yeah, like that’s ever going to catch on!

I’ve had and have friends on both sides of the fence in this situation. No matter what you do, her head will be facing in his direction.

It’s not often I agree with Hora….

I’ve got ‘a friend*’ with pretty good first hand experience on this front. He’d been seeing a married woman for 3 years who had constantly threatened to leave her husband but never did. It pretty much did for him, depression, suicide attempts – the lot. He left his long term partner to be with her, moved out of his home and basically turned his life upside down to be with her to no avail. Many times he tried to break it off with her and find someone else, but all he ended up doing was going back to the married woman and at the same time, causing massive upset to anyone else he saw. Being in love with her meant that as soon as she showed him some interest, he’d drop whatever and whoever and run back to her. He even started going out with other people to see if he could have a relationship like he wanted with her – a test if you like – and when he realised he couldn’t he dropped them like a stone and went back to the MW. A truly horrible way to treat someone, something he’s not proud of.

Regardless of the married man’s morals (or lack of), she’s sleeping with someone else’s husband and thus as guilty as he is. She puts little value in the whole marriage thing, and probably the value of having just the one relationship. Additionally she’ll probably have enormously low self-confidence as a result of being second best all the time, something you’ll be lumbered with addressing if you decide to go ahead.

My advice to you would be to avoid like the plague. If she’s in love with him as she says she is, that flame will never be extinguished. By entertaining her, you’re lining yourself up for a world of hurt – she WILL cheat on you and she will go back to him, whether he leaves his wife or not. What she’s doing is thoroughly destructive to all involved, including you if you decide to carry on with this.

No good will come of this.

*Make of that what you will

Sorry but I haven’t read the whole thread.

The reason this girl hasn’t told her friends about the married chap, is that they would all tell her to stop being so stupid, that he won’t leave his wife and she should forget him. All sage advice from friends who care for her.
However it’s like alcoholism, she can only do this by herself.

I would be honest with her and hope that she comes to her senses.

Good luck mboy. If we meet i will buy you a cheering up pint 🙂

You deserve better. Not all women like bastards to treat them mean..

Oh and MTFU

The problem here is I don’t have the same level of denial that you posses! Shame, cos it sounds truly blissful on your planet… 😉

I’m going to take it from the wink that you can at least tell when some people are taking the piss…

I’m going to take it from the wink that you can at least tell when some people are taking the piss…

You do put a smile on my face from time to time TSY, for that I give thanks… 😆

Good luck mboy. If we meet i will buy you a cheering up pint

You deserve better. Not all women like bastards to treat them mean..

Maybe, just not the ones I meet. Well, not quite all of em. For one or two, there was just nothing I could do good enough, so I was always the bastard! 😕

Oh and MTFU

I’m not sat moping, don’t worry… Off out for a bit with a couple of mates later on, guys who know me very well. Gonna run this one past the both of them, see what they say too…

Regardless of the married man’s morals (or lack of), she’s sleeping with someone else’s husband and thus as guilty as he is

No, she had slept with him, and may or may not have known he was married at the time.

Am 99.9% sure it won’t just work though if the married guy is still texting her with false promises like “I’ll be out soon, just give me a couple more months, it’ll all be done and I’m yours forever then” or the like, as she’ll be thinking about him.

Not necessarily – because if you are more awesome she’ll forget about him.

Not necessarily – because if you are more awesome she’ll forget about him.

You got any Awesome you can lend me molly? 😉

Sadly I’m probably a little mediocre these days, though at least my age (and the fact I look a lot younger than I am) acts in my favour these days…

There is another possibility. She’s tactfully giving you the bums rush.

Having chatted to her about your relationship issues, she now feels she can’t back out of seeing you without hurting your feelings. So – she invents another relationship (which is why none of her friends know about it) and is “too busy” to see you. Far from being the harlot some have painted her as, she is actually trying to be kind.

How’s that for trading between the lines?

women are like cats, evil geniuses….with no heart. They’ll catch a mouse, play with it, fk it up and then leave it somewhere so they can always go back and play with it a bit more if they get bored mangling the latest one they’ve got their claws into.

the only way though this mboy is to live a sad and lonely life with only a collection of bikes company…….

How to sort this one out?

Flash grenades ….shock and awe

mboy it’s my new ‘tough love’ methodology… the next stage involves sandpaper.

On this thread I feel love is being confused with lust, addiction, emotional dependance, dispair, loneliness… .

If she expresses doubt, don’t bother. Unless the lust, addiction, emotional dependance, dispair and loneliness are stronger than your powers of reason.

Edukator – there’s a thread down there with your name written all over it!