This is the STW forum. It’s inhabited by rambler operated sock puppets, tubby IT managers who puff along at 12mph on burled up all-mountain bikes, and bizarre whippet like Mekons who like to squeeze into lycra hot pants and tube tops

I regularly ride with alot of STW’ers. None of them are what you describe. Maybe down south?

Edit- although the last one you describe does sound like Will who now lives in London.. 😆

PSA For IT Managers – one of your DBA’s has escaped…

Stop prevaricating, lay your eggs in her brain and maybe when they hatch in her sleep the larvae can eat the married guy too.

She has thrown a curve ball by telling you she’s in love with someone else. Now if you show any interest at all she knows you are interested and can be led along without ever letting you get anywhere near her. Basically using you to boost her ego.

So why not say to her something like,

“Well, obviously now that you’ve told me that nothing serious can ever happen. You’ve made it clear that I’ll always be the second choice. But it doesn’t mean we can’t hang out and have fun and if anything happens it happens. I definitely can’t see us being in an exclusive type relationship though.”

Whether you mean that or not is irrelevant. The important thing is to improve your worth and unattainably in her eyes. If she claims to be in love with a married man, I suspect that it’s the unattainably that she is really attracted to

wise words.

if she’s been sleeping with a married man, she’s really not worth the time dude, lets say she ‘gets over’ the married man and spends more time with you… there’s always the worry she’ll be off sleeping with the next married man!

not worth it. you’re a decent guy, you deserve better and as long as you avoid wimmin like this, you’ll find better 🙂

pingu66 – Member
Pop it and move on.

+1. SHTHIMNSHA*

{*Sh@g her; tell her it means nothing. Sh@g her again}

Really time to move on, but let her ruthlessly sleep with you once just to confirm she is the type who will sleep with a married man and some other bloke at the same time.

Or, find out who the wife is and arrange to meet her for a drink ??

I don’t mean to be harsh or anything, but (from a woman’s perspective) if you like someone a lot, you’re never too busy ‘going to the gym’ to see them.

The beginning of a relationship, getting to know each other, is really exciting and fantastic. And she has decided that she’s too busy to see you for a few weeks.

Sorry to say this, but I think that might be a subtle hint on her part.

Satsoma I missed that bit..

Sorry to say this, but I think that might be a subtle hint on her part.

hora – Member
Satsoma I missed that bit..

LOL – it’s not actually that subtle… Satsoma hits the nail on the head though… when a girl really is interested it’s a lot like having a stalker.

What! 3 pages and not a single MTFU? 😯

http://www.legion-recrute.com/en/

if she’s been sleeping with a married man, she’s really not worth the time dude,

You can’t judge a person’s entire worth by a single fact.

Shes been willingly part of a deception though. Only playing the victim when she realises she aint getting him for herself.

Satsoma hits the nail on the head though…

+1

molgrips – Member

if she’s been sleeping with a married man, she’s really not worth the time dude,

You can’t judge a person’s entire worth by a single fact.

Good indicator of her moral compass though.

molgrips – Member
if she’s been sleeping with a married man, she’s really not worth the time dude,
You can’t judge a person’s entire worth by a single fact.

Agreed. You’re only getting one side of the story. haven’t read the whole thread – is she sleeping with him, or just in love with him? There’s not a necessary relationship between the two…

It also takes two to tango, so to speak. Tricky moral balance / scale as to where you apportion moral wrong where you’ve got a couple, one of whom is cheating on their wife. Whilst you could argue the bulk of that must lie with the husband, I think there’s also a natural reaction that also leads people to make a value judgement on her and her actions as the third party. Without knowing the ins-and-outs (pun intended) it’s hard to know where to be on the Daily Mail scale of Moral Indignation (TM); at one end she’s a brazen tart breaking up a marriage, or she’s a poor, hard-done-by victim of a bastard cheating man…

The former – you’ll get messages telling you to steer clear / fill-yer-boots as she’s obviously of dubious moral characters, the latter – you’ll get posts telling you to be there to support her as a friend / fill-yer-boots as she’s obviously up for a rebound and sympathy sh*g.

And why has no-one mentioned the kids 🙂

(personally, sounds like a recipe for disaster from start to finish – declarations of love for someone else doesn’t generally make for the basis of a good relationship. It’s imbalanced from the outset. As the recipe for some short-term fun, different story. Sounds like it might be hard for you to remain sufficiently detached though)

You can’t judge a person’s entire worth by a single fact

hitler and the holocaust?
yorkshire ripper
Should I go on with with my black and white view 😉

Given half a chance I bet most of the posters on STW would be tempted with a mistress on the side set up.

Shes been willingly part of a deception though.

He’s married, she isn’t. It’s his moral compass that’s in question, not hers. He’s the one that’s taken vows.

Fact is, we don’t know enough to pass judgement. Has she stalked him and convinced him to (claim to) leave his wife for her; has he made a play for her and spun her a tale about he’s going to divorce Real Soon Now; or has she fallen for him without even knowing at first that he was married? Different situations with very different ramifications from a “does she have any morals” compunction. It’s very easy to be judgemental from the other side of a keyboard.

Anyway, look on the bright side, you may have just found a girl that fancies you and has no morals. (-:

if shes not in it for a relationship but is happy to indulge you then go for it

go crazy, hit up some fetish clubs, go to some swingers nights etc etc

just remember to keep an emotional distance and not get too hung up!

He’s married, she isn’t. It’s his moral compass that’s in question, not hers. He’s the one that’s taken vows.

Would you sleep with a married woman? Arrange to meet her behind her husbands back? Take the risk that if he found out he may come storming into your office/workplace to confront you?

or just in love with him?

You don’t really choose who you fall in love with

Given half a chance I bet most of the posters on STW would be tempted with a mistress on the side set up.

In France it’s sort of socially acceptable to have a mistress. It’s also becoming socially acceptable to have a boy-toy for women as well.

Take the risk that if he found out he may come storming into your office/workplace to confront you?

IF that’s the reason you wouldn’t, it’s not a moral objection. It’s a “Not wanting to get your head kicked in” objection

Good indicator of her moral compass though

Hmm.. as above, you don’t really even have one side of the story, you only have a snippet. A long ish conversation AT LEAST is needed before you can really learn anything.

You can’t judge a person’s entire worth by a single fact.

you can’t tell me what to do 😛

the comment was in relation to seeking a good, solid, long-term relationship, not wether she should be allowed to use public transport, access universal healthcare or use the same water-fountain as us!

i’d never cheat on anyone or be a willing participant in somebody cheating on their partner, i’m purely applying my own standards to the situation 🙂 its an opinion, no an instruction innit

again, you deserve better mboy, cos you’re betterer 😀

No molgrips – anyone that shags a married person is of dubious moral values.

Morality aside (and none of us is perfect), you’d hope the older one gets the less stupid mistakes one makes, and her investing in a married man indicates deceit, desparation and stupidity IMO.

“some people would use the situation you are in to get some reasonably no strings sex then walk away”

This

She’s not had any for what did you say, 6 months?

Stop thinking about it as some big thing and just have a bit of fun.

Not sure what you’ve got to lose ??

The person that I know who has been in this situation for 4yrs is in limbo with their life. The married man only sees the girl during the week and they both conveniently (for him) work within walking distance of her flat. I imagine weekends is for his family life/wife.

Bonkers. Utter bonkers. I know the girl isn’t a slag, shes just stuck in limbo, really likes him (infact loves him) but I imagine when they first started he manipulated her, their illicit affair skewered her sense of reality so it became a case of ‘no one would understand us’ and its us versus them.

I’ve called her incredibly naive and one day she will wake up and rue the lost years where she effectively lived in limbo.

This could be the OP’s friends in essence. TBH I’m not sure I’d want to go out with either scenario afterwards.

No molgrips – anyone that shags a married person is of dubious moral values

You and Junkyard should start the ‘black and white’ club.

You and Junkyard should start the ‘black and white’ club.

I don’t see how thats black and white. Its just normal behaviour. You could spend your whole life thinking ‘what if I got off with or what if she kissed me’ or you could just try to live a just and as honest as possible life.

A friend of mine has theory on this kind of lady:

“women are like monkeys – they don’t let go of one branch until they’ve got hold of another”.

If she is happy to have one relationship based on deceit, who’s to say she wouldn’t be deceitful with you?

“women are like monkeys – they don’t let go of one branch until they’ve got hold of another”.

I’ll give you mine

“Once a womans head has been turned, only a shovel will turn it back again”..

She sounds completely immature ‘putting you against a married man’ I would have walked by now. The reason times with her are so enjoyable is perhaps because she is very well versed at messing people around. Can’t see her being naive thinking married mans going to leave his wife, seems more like immature attention seeking. I also don’t see her as been upfront and honest, again just laying a messy situation she is in on the table to glean some attention out of it.

Walk away, have a mope at the weekend, ride your bike, go and find someone else that’s not watched too much Eastenders. Sorry if that all sounded harsh.

molly, have you ever fallen in love/slept with a married man?

no?

then you can’t comment on this. back in your basket.

She might be the best person in the world for you. It’s worth finding out at least.

Bin her before you waste 16 years of your life with her, only to find out she has been cheating behind your back but see’s you as a “go to” when there is nothing else available.

Have as much bedroom fun as you can until you get bored, then move on.

Unfortunately, she’ll be thinking about “the married man” throughout…

Bin her before you waste 16 years of your life with her, only to find out she has been cheating behind your back but see’s you as a “go to” when there is nothing else available.

Or that your Son is named after him 😆

and that aftershave she bought you for christmas, is the one he wears…. along with your new clothes she encouraged you to buy cos ‘you look so hot in those!)

even with a magestic penis like horas, she’d still be imagining his

Well one could hope it’d turn into some sort of penile magic wand