Help to bugger up Fair Fuel UK’s annual cycling hate survey.

Believe it or not that’s far more balanced and well written compared to last years!

With reference to road usage: what are your views on dirty immigrants coming over here and taking all the jobs roads?
A) “Send ’em back”
B) “Brexit”
C) “Princess Di”

Completed, I don’t think it will make any difference to the outcome of his “survey” though

Done. What a loaded, random and poorly drafted piece of twaddle.

Done finally.
I couldn’t resist in the final comments box pointing out most paedophiles have driving licenses and many of their victims ride bikes.

Done, guessing if it gets too skewed towards cycling the results won’t go very far.

Done. What a carrot.
Needless to say, I didn’t donate.

Done

2/10 poor effort
Good use of capitals
No swearing
Shite punctuation hard to read or understand
Can’t imagine a SPAD like domcum giving a moments thought to results
Utter bullshit but someone will have been paid good money to produce that beggars belief (well it used to)

By the way, if you copy the address into an incognito window you can fill it in again. And again. And again.

Completed so far on work PC and phone, still got Macbook, Ipad (x2) and wifes phone and three kids phones to go!

Won’t they all have the same (external) IP address if they are connected to your router?

BTW – if you reboot your router, chances are you WILL have a different IP address.

Done

Done.
By which I mean, as an occasional driver, I have honestly and accurately answered the questions as posed – I’ve not purposly “buggered it up”.

“Shocked and devestated” as a possible answer in a multiple choice question about slight alterations to the usage of some public highways? Honestly? Spoilt brats much?!

WILL YOU VOTE FOR THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY AT THE NEXT GENERAL ELECTION

I did like that question answer combo. Sums up the crapness in one nice simple question.

I thought it was a highly professional survey without a hint of any attempt to use leading questions.

Hehe. Done.

Done. I even popped in a few misspelt words so that they could understand what I was saying.

IN WHAT YEAR DO YOU BELIEVE THE BAN ON THE SALES OF NEW PETROL AND DIESEL VEHICLES SHOULD HAPPEN*

The sooner the better, less air pollution for my kids to grow up with. Should be easier to do as we won’t have to kowtow to Europe and their rules and rely on foreign petrol cars

(not sure how that will go down, hopefully just the right side of contradictory nonsense)

My 15 year daughter just filled it in. She cycles so she is a road user. In her own words, she “actuals schooled him as that survey was ridiculous”. I would love to have seen what she put down, she can be a complete assassin when she wants to.

^^^^ yep 2021, commenting “It’s time we put the planet first instead of our own convenience.”

“UNELECTED SPECIAL ADVISORS IN NO 10 ARE INFLUENCING THE ROLL OUT OF CYCLE LANES”

Well, obviously. people who are experts in their fields inform the government of the facts and advise as the most appropriate course of action to achieve a desired outcome. The PM cant be expectyed to be a qualified traffic management expert, and an expert in agriculture, and an expert in chemical substances, and an expert in dangerous dogs and an expert in…

Done, although I can’t help feeling that the author couldn’t care less how people have responded, only the number of them.

Done

Done.
I’ve suggested the other 4 walking, cycling, driving members of my household also fill it in. 😎

I do suspect that the results shared might not be completely accurate…

I really enjoyed that. Any other surveys we can give the answer they don’t want too? I may of found a new hobby.

If I wasn’t stacked out with work a new bot would come into being.

I may have had another go.

I asked if he touched himself when looking at pictures of Lady Di in The Express.

Done. I’m a van driving cyclist so he’ll be livid about that!

I was hoping the OP was wrong but he wasn’t.

Throwing around numbers like “2 BILLION FOR CYCLE LANES” but deliberately not giving people anything to compare it to or scale it against is predictably assholeish.

The PM cant be expectyed to be a qualified traffic management expert, and an expert in agriculture, and an expert in chemical substances, and an expert in dangerous dogs and an expert in…

Yes, it’s a shame he’s no Donald Trump. (actually the Tango Shitgibbon hasn’t used the ‘nobody knows more about… than me’ line for a while)

I’m home now, going to have another go.

Dominic Cummings at dole.net has just had a go at the survey, but might have got a little sweary in the process…

That survey is terrible, lots of shouty capital letters and whatnot. I asked if a sixth former had been drafted in to write it given the lack of nuance.

I also explained at length how I couldn’t possibly ever vote Conservative in the light of their incompetence and brazen bung-chucking activities and suggested that a few more Tory MPs out to spend time in jail, as it seemed to have turned Jonathan Aitken into some semblance of a human being.

I asked if he touched himself when looking at pictures of Lady Di in The Express.

Today’s internet has been won, people.

Anxiousy lolz at the survey! They even manage to have a poop at the Beeb!😁

Well, I think I’ll have to start again. Obviously first choice was bicycle, but then the next page asked what the second most used mode was – I clicked ‘Other’ and put ‘Train’ but then it started to ask me what fuel my choice took and how old it was… 🙂

I wonder if the suggestion of mandatory resitting of the driving test every five years will go down well?

I was quite proud of this comment:

I may also cut back on jetpack use as landing in crowded town centres is a nightmare…

I didn’t give particularly serious answers.
I found the questions on voting habits/plans an interesting addition…

I also explained at length how I couldn’t possibly ever vote Conservative in the light of their incompetence and brazen bung-chucking activities and suggested that a few more Tory MPs out to spend time in jail, as it seemed to have turned Jonathan Aitken into some semblance of a human being.

Even if they’re “still the best choice” ?

Awful document.

(Done, btw)

Done- road haulage should make better use of the canal network to reduce congestion and emissions.

Doneski. I suggested that perhaps the chap needed to calm down a bit and that perhaps he should go for a ride on his bike.

Ha ha, thanks OP, that cheered me up today. My personal favourite answer was to the tory voting question….

NO

Id rather poke my eye out with a blunt instrument smeared in excrement

Done – thanks for the heads up.