Do/Did you want children

Assuming that physically everything works for both parties,my other half definately does whereas I’m ambivelent about them.
I’m 47 SO 34 and the biological clock is ticking.
So anybody here been there and would like to say what happened and why?

We did.
I put my 😈 in her 😳 , wiggled it about a bit, and then a baby arrived.

DrP

you as well?

If the other half does then just get on with it. It doesn’t get any easier the older you get. Best description I ever heard on having children: relentless

But it’s great 🙂

I wanted them, wife wanted to wait. We had twins and went to hell in a handcart. That was 3.75 years ago and we have almost returned to planet earth. I love them dearly and the make me laugh and cry almost every day. But would I go through it again? HELL NO

With my first missus, neither of us wanted kids. I divorced and remarried and we both wanted kids. We tried for a few years with no result. After a while we both sort of resigned ourselves to being childless – then my daughter came along 🙂

If I’m being honest though, I’m not sure that I’d be wanting to start a family at the age of 47. I was 39 when my daughter was born which already makes me an older parent.

Most deffinately want kids one day. We are only 25 & 24 so not in any rush at the moment though!

I did want kids, then I had them and now I’m not so sure 😉

I was 34, Mrs was 32. I wanted kids because I wanted something a bit more persistent and profound than just stuff and fun.

Lots of older parents nowadays. Do it when it feels right (dad to twins at 42, want a third and I am 45 now).

At 35 I wasn’t ready but I always thought I would at some point.

But yes it is relentless.

Save you and Mrs andy lot of trouble – Do you want mine???

On reflection, I don’t think I wanted kids, just more sex

I didnt at all. Missus did. Then wee Ted arrived and I cannot believe we waited so long…even got our own Ian McCulloch tribute act. Go for it…

I’m 40 years old, never wanted kids.

OH is 35, never wanted kids.

We’re good, enjoying each other, careers, and having fun.

seadog101 have they go well paid jobs so the can look after me in my even older age?

i’m not keen on the idea of having kids. when i picture myself as an old man i see my GF beside me, but no kids.

when i was younger (30 this month) i could picture myself with a mini-me throwing a frisbee, riding a bike and learing at mums in the park. this changed when i saw the reality of childcare when my best mate’s missus had their little one. no more free time, no more spontaneous bike rides.

i think i’m too selfish to have kids and i would rather save myself the stress of schooling (especially here in Germany where the system is an emotional nightmare for both the child and the parents) and the responsibility of looking after and worrying about someone for the rest of my life.

there is another reason for not wanting kids and that is what i see as the added burden to an already over-stretched planet and not believing that the situation is going to improve over the next 50 years.

I am 51, got a 16 and 10 year old. I was broody as hell, and glad when they arrived, and now despite heading for divorce I am bloody glad to have them.

But I was also glad to be only 40 when the last one arrived…

always wanted them, missus wasnt so fussed. we now have a 6yr old and a 7mth old. I just turned 39. sometimes I wish we’d started earlier, but would change anything? hell no!

Got married in our early 30s a few years later than most of our group of friends..
In our mid thirties when we had ds1 (mumsnet speak) and number 2 on the way in a few weeks..
We were a fair bit later than our pals but we had both wanted them so it’s all good.
I did think we were getting on a bit and my wife was very keen on getting no 2 done ASAP!!
Just do it, would be a shame not to!

me and mrs yunki met after some quite serious previous relationships..

neither of us had really ever considered kids further than a very indistinct ‘yeah maybe one day’..

after deciding that if we waited until we felt ‘ready’ we could very likely be waiting forever, we took the plunge and commenced immediately..

it was a good decision and the start of the wildest adventure so far

Yep, I want one, badly. Hubby is sort of along for the ride but he’s more broody nowadays than when we actually started trying. (I’m 29 and he’s 32)

no.
never have, never will.

gf feels the same.

so we’re just enjoying life; that’s what most people want, isn’t it? if having children is part of that for you, then great. it just isn’t for us.

I never wanted them, wife said she didn’t but her biology took over when she got to 30. Caused problems, oh god did it.. anyway, 10 years ago I agreed and we made a boy.
I was late 30s and definitely glad we didn’t have him later than that.
He’s a wonderful kid.

neither of us had really ever considered kids further than a very indistinct ‘yeah maybe one day’..

after deciding that if we waited until we felt ‘ready’ we could very likely be waiting forever, we took the plunge and commenced immediately..

it was a good decision and the start of the wildest adventure so far

yunki appears to be me. 😀

Was always on the table as “sometime”. We were sat at dinner one evening, our anniversary I believe, and after a bottle or two of wine we just decided “What the hell, we’ll never be ‘ready’ and we’re not getting any younger”

Couple of months later missus had something important to tell me just before we went to friend’s wedding..

Our little un is 2.5 now and we’re officially trying for #2, despite us both wondering if we’d be mad to push our luck after #1 was such a gift.

(I’m 37 by the way, missus is the same age)

I’m 47 SO 34

Well done!

I wouldn’t be without my kids but they have been hard work at times.

I was 34 when I had my first (39 now) and prior to my wife hadn’t considered it but it felt right with her.

I fully appreciate some people simply don’t want them and with that in mind I think you need to have a serious chat with your lady; resenting someone for something you didn’t want to do is a horrible situation to be in and and if this life changing decision is the deal breaker its better to thrash it out now than once there are children in the picture.

Definitely didn’t want them, now got two girls, 2 and 6 and they are the best things in the world. Can’t stand other people’s though.

Am 39 now and there’s no way I’d have another.

Never wanted them. Missus got pregnant. I wasn’t very enthusiastic about it, it has to be said. There you go, we’re here now though, should have been more careful. Her pregnancy wasn’t much fun, probably not helped by my abvivolence about the whole thing. Long, long birth too.

Boy popped out, ooooh, that’s changed things. It really was an almost audible snap in my head and my attitude changed in a second. I drove home in a trance. I loved being the father of a young child. It was great, all of it. Nappies, walking, talking, sick, nights in hospital, panic, fear, …all of it, **** great.

We tried for more and god I wanted more, we both did. Not to be unfortunately. Some spectacularly heart-rending mis-carriages. A few of them, too many. We lost something of ourselves in those hospital rooms.

/bit of a break from typing here… hang on.

Ho hum. Life is shit sometimes.

Kids are the best thing that will ever happen to you, IMO. We only got one and I’m grateful for that.

Been there and done that too samurai.. Bad times.

I didn’t as I knew I’d be terrible dad, I’m about as paternal as a house brick. Wife desperately wanted children. We have a beautiful little boy, but to be honest I still can’t get my head around the dad thing and mostly hate it to bits (flame away, but at least I’m honest)

I have 3 children. Always assumed I would have kids one day.

My ex decided family life wasn’t for him though and left when my youngest was 15mths old.

Life doesn’t always turn out the way you expect it to.

I was adamant I didn’t want kids. Got married became ambivalent about having kids.

Neither were planned but no precautions were taken so were a distinct possibility.

Got two great boys now aged 8 and almost 7. Totally life changing and makes you less self obsessed. I wouldn’t change anything but was totally shell shocked initially.

Could happily of waited a couple of years longer, I was 30 when the boy was born. Like samuri there was a snap in my head when he turned up and life has a LOT more meaning now. We’d tried for about 6 months before successful conception, I spent 9 months panicking thereafter.

My daughter arrived completely by accident 19 months later, totally unplanned and she’s absolutely the light of my life. Complete little bugger, hilarious in everything she does. The last thing I think of before I doze off is my daughter running towards me with a massive grin, and I usually get woken up by said 2 year old clambering into our bed and giving me her cuddly rabbit to help me sleep. Best thing that ever happened to me.

On the flip side, our marriage is all work and no play & I worry what holds it together other than two lovely kids (the boy is a mardy bik, scooter and lego obsessed 4 year old, so just like his Dad).

It’s amazing, relentless and hard work, but massively rewarding. But make sure you both want it, I know we have a lot of work to do on ‘us’ in the future once the kids are released into the world.

Yes, I would love the chance to be a good father to somebody; I don’t think it’s going to happen though. I can be an awesome uncle instead!

Not for me. I can understand why people do it though. Maybe I’m too selfish. Enjoy nicking off on my bike when I want.

Didn’t have a great childhood, never wanted to foist my life onto anyone else so never wanted kids. Also was never very financially secure so it didn’t seem like a good idea.

Then I met Mrs JA (who did want kids) a bit later on in life but it never happened.

Now we’re just having a great time (and both happy with the way things have turned out): loads of time with each other, lots of holidays together, only us (and two cats!) to think about.

Before you say it: selfish – maybe, but it works for us…

Each to their own, but don’t stress about it. What will be will be…

Just enjoy the practise 🙂

I was adamant I didn’t want kids.

Very wise – they’d steal your eyeliner.

Nice post samuri. (“nice” probably not the right word you understand)

mrs deadly and I have had a long road but #wolfcub is scheduled for arrival sometime as 2012 melds into 2013. We can’t wait. 🙂

Keen but single, will re-evaluate if I am ever in a position to procreate.

I really did not realise how hard the early years would be, wish I had done it earlier and I could not be without them.

Much harder than you realise and not always rewarding

I remember going on holiday with 2 children aged 18 mths and 3 years
This experience had nothing in common with any other holiday I had ever been on before but it is similar to many since

I didn’t really want kids but the wife was desperate to. Had a boy in 2009 when I was 30. Before that I went climbing and walking most weekends. I thought my life was going to cave in. The missus has just had our second child, a girl. There are sacrifices but I would not have it any other way.
Climbing has tailed off however I took up mountain biking. Having kids also allows you to have a go at fun stuff with them you may never have done if you didn’t have kids.