Best names for a real human person you've ever encountered

Visited the custody suite one morning and saw that amongst the detainees we had a Burger, Lettuce and Onions. I asked whether CID were currently out looking for Mr Chips, and perhaps a Shakir. Onions, I’m told was pronounced O’Nyons.

I once knew a guy with an exclamation mark in his name (he was South African I think, or something similar). It was pronounced like a click at the back of your tongue.

A teacher I once had in upper school was called Kim Mander

I’ve encountered a few at work.
Chris Peacock always raises a chuckle as does Dick Moth.
My favourite though, not as it’s funny more that is shows the wonderful, multi-cultural country we live in, was a Glaswegian guy called Seamus Hussain.

We had a Mr. Laycock and Mr. Highcock teaching at school, and Debbie Hare in my year had a younger sister called Virginia.

Wayne King from school days. Also Alex Gay had a hard time at school 🙁

Served by a young lady at M&S recently. I did a triple take as her name badge said ‘Shalamar’

Served by a young lady at M&S recently. I did a triple take as her name badge said ‘Shalamar’

I bet she’d give you a night to remember….

I used to go out with a gurl with the surname pheeley.

Not that funny unless we had got married….

Pheeley-Alcock

My favourite though, not as it’s funny more that is shows the wonderful, multi-cultural country we live in, was a Glaswegian guy called Seamus Hussain.

Similarly, I used to work with Dongdong Smith.

School had a Rebekah Ursula Cumming, or R U Cumming on some forms.

Had a personal injury claim from a gent who started the claim called Mohammed, where liability for the road traffic accident was disagreed, so ended up going to Court, he didn’t help himself my changing his name to Max Power during the proceedings and having the email address boyracer91@……com

There was something that went round on Facebook that made me giggle, where it had the song that goes “i’m in the mood for. Dan Singh, Roman Singh” with their FB profile pictures.

When I was at school there was rumored to be a brother sister combo of Ophelia and Everard Dicks.

If you went to school in Buckinghamshire then they were real.

Mates dad was called Mike Hunt.

My uncle used to live in Canada and one of his mates was a native indian who’s name was, and I kid you not, George Standingatthedoor.

Apparently it was common for certain tribes to name their kids according to something that has happened at the exact time they are born.

@timidwheeler yep, I went to school in Aylesbury.

Bumin Anal
Sitti Suckerer
Maverick Danger McPhee-Clough

And my doctor’s surgery has both Dr Pepper and Dr Mott.

Alec Dick.

No word of a lie, he’s the head of catering at the school I work at. He’s the only member of staff that students are allowed to refer to by first name.

Marcus Mighty – recruitment consultant I deal with. Good strong name that one.

I’ve worked with
Dick Dipper
Reg Chicken
Wayne Kerr
Pinki Kok

oh, and a Steve Urin at school, but he was rock hard (funnily enough) so no one ever took the er, p*** out of his name.

In no particular order, people I know or have dealt with through work;

Fanny Staines
Dan Singh
Suki Mor
Birmingham City

Just today I have met :-

Byron Goodsir

Rich Bacon

I used to deal with a guy abroad who was B.O Emissions. I think he was Thai, so probably not as funny in his home country.
Used to work with a great guy from Zimbabwe, first name Wonder.
My wife worked with a Dr De’Ath, and knew a Maurice Minor.
My brother went to school with Everard Dick, as mentioned earlier. I believe his other sister was Dolly (apart from Ophelia, again see earlier posts).
Used to know a Jo King; she was great about it (you couldn’t not be!)
Apocryphal, but somebody I know used to know an Isaac Hunt. Allegedly.
A female with the first name Loveday.
Wasn’t Mitch Gaylord an American Olympic gymnast in the 80s?

My lad went to school with Ayrton Wibley and I do work for a guy called Dick Webb. A mate lived in Barbados for a couple of years and a friend whose first name was Massive.

My wife used to have a dentist called Mr Payne.

And how could I forget Faith No More keyboardist, Roddy Bottum.

Rendered all the more fabulous by the fact that he’s gay.

knew a Nick Crook years ago, and yes, he was a police officer 🙂

Alec Dick.

I wonder if he’s the Alex Dick that was a few years above me at school; made even more amusing by A Legg and A Foot being around the same age. Surely no more parents could be that cruel/thoughtless/deviant.

And how could I forget Faith No More keyboardist, Roddy Bottum.

Rendered all the more fabulous by the fact that he’s gay.

I’ve never made that connection, despite knowing both his name and his sexual preference.

😳

I do know that he aided the writing of Be Aggressive, which (apparently) is about same-sex oral pleasuring.

Great band!

😀

Neighbour across the road from me as a lad was Aubrey Gaylord Harrison.

Travelling in West Africa a decade ago, we often used to find children that were named after things that seemed “western”, this ranged from CocaCola to Diarolyte, along with children named after days of the week, Nigeria had a lot of people with some great names, often religious, such as Happiness, Triumphant, Wisdom and Godisgood

Knew a Ruth Wrack and a Jenny Taylor.

I do know that he aided the writing of Be Aggressive, which (apparently) is about same-sex oral pleasuring.

Great band!

Too right!

He’s the man responsible for the spectacle of thousands of hairy-arsed metal fans bouncing up and down chanting “I swallow! I swallow! I SWAAAAAAALLOOOOOOW!”.

The parents of a mate of mine from school were called Norma Lee and Stan(ley) Lee

He’s the man responsible for the spectacle of thousands of hairy-arsed metal fans bouncing up and down chanting “I swallow! I swallow! I SWAAAAAAALLOOOOOOW!”.

😆

Ajish Ajish Baby

(and no word of a lie; Ajish was pronounced in the way that Sean Connery would pronounce the word ‘ice’)

I used to work with a Richard Stribling. He hated being called Dick…

I guy I met on a group snowboard holiday had changed his name to Ramjam Delilah Funkyboogaloosmythe. He had an Amex card because they allow 20 character surnames…
His best friend apparently changed his name to Koolandthegang Dangerous Funkaboogaloosmythe.

arrpee – Member

He’s the man responsible for the spectacle of thousands of hairy-arsed metal fans bouncing up and down chanting “I swallow! I swallow! I SWAAAAAAALLOOOOOOW!”.

He’ll retire with a turd on his lips

woman I worked with, her husband changed his name by deed poll to Virgil Tracy. She refused to change her name when they got married.

And how could I forget Faith No More keyboardist, Roddy Bottum.

Short for “Roswell” if memory serves.

changed his name by deed poll to Virgil Tracy.

A few years back, a bloke in Leeds (IIRC) changed his name by deed poll to “Yorkshire Bank Plc Are Fascist Bastards.” Mr Bastards then agreed to change it back if they wrote him a cheque addressed to his name in full.

One of my wife’s friends, first name Kerry, married a Mr Oakey, making her Kerry Oakey.

They opted to have a band for their wedding as opposed to doing the ents themselves.

I also used to work with a bloke called Willem Anker. Company email syntax was [initial][surname]@[company].com, but in his case they opted to use his first name in full.

I worked with a guy in France whose last name was Cagnet, pronounced like Kanyé. If the brits wanted to talk about him behind his back we just referred to him as Mr West.

In Colombia and other South American countries there are people called Usnavy after parents saw it stencilled onto things that washed up on the beach (U S Navy). Possibly an urban legend.

A few years back, a bloke in Leeds (IIRC) changed his name by deed poll to “Yorkshire Bank Plc Are Fascist Bastards.” Mr Bastards then agreed to change it back if they wrote him a cheque addressed to his name in full.

Seem to recall reading this in the news. 🙂

arrpee – Member
He’s the man responsible for the spectacle of thousands of hairy-arsed metal fans bouncing up and down chanting “I swallow! I swallow! I SWAAAAAAALLOOOOOOW!”.

I recall Roddy Bottum stating in interviews that he wrote Be Aggressive partly to troll Mike Patton, the band’s singer.

I’ve met a Dr Love (who was at the computer science department of Sheffield Hallam at the time I think) and Mike Hunt, who was a schoolfriend of a mate.

I have not met but I am aware that Greg and Laura Killmaster work at ILM.

To this day my mother-in-law swears she was at school with a Dwayne Pipe.