Best names for a real human person you've ever encountered

Bruno Jelly went to my school, as did his brother Ben Jelly.
Nicola-Jane Sheringham-Smith was a small child I knew.

I saw a video the other day where a supermarket has introduced a special “slow lane” at the checkouts, so people can check out without feeling rushed. The colleague they interviewed about it was “Kerry Speed.”

Used to have a supplier called Chris Cross & always imagined him going to work with his clothes on back to front.

Risky, you could have your goods caught between the moon and New York City.

A couple more, encountered professionally:

Dr. De’ath

We used to have a Dr De’ath as a customer (back when I worked in tech support in the 90s, as I was talking about the other day). The computer system had him entered as “DR. DEATH” so whenever he rang we’d ask quite innocently, “is that Doctor Death?” Thing is, he massively overreacted every time, bellowing “IT’S DEEE-ATTHHHH” down the phone. Which, of course, we asked not-so-innocently from then on.

Oh, one of our other customers was Wayne P. Kitkat.

Tom Tom

I’ve mentioned this before too, but I once interviewed a bloke called Satnam. Cue me and my colleague getting quite giddy making “sat-nav” jokes for a good half an hour before he arrived. When he turned up, my colleague a stride ahead of me greeted him, “hi, I’m Bob,” *beat* “find us all right?”

Dr Mustafa Megahed. It’s apt.

The greatest name in the history of the world will always be Goodluck Jonathan!!
There was a reverend Canaan Banana!

I’ll raise you a

Max Fightmaster

And my favourite the CEO of Food For The Poor

Robin Mahfood

Knew a chap called James Manly-Grafting once. He Moved to Cornwall and apparently changed his surname to ‘Leisurely-Strolling.’

There was also the Archbishop of Manila – Cardinal Sin

Recently met a Christopher Peacock who unsurprisingly didn’t want to be known as Chris.

Hamish Dolphin is one of my best friends.

FB wouldn’t accept it as a real name so he went for an alternative unlikely first name paired with an animal and it did like it…

Did a First Aid course back in the summer and the guy was called Alan Bent.

He told us he used to be a sales rep and it really broke the ice with clients when he handed his business card over as it read ” A Bent – Salesman ”

Two ladies from our Hong Kong office at a previous employer.

Angel Xu and Crystal Kau.

I’ve a mate called Dr Rod Large

But, c’mon, Pebbles… WTAF?

I thaught a Kid last year called Pebbles. None of my my colleagues had the courage to say anything till the one guy who just can’t keep quiet clocked the name in the register. He said out loud ” pebbles ? Do her parents know she’s gonna be an adult one day…..” 😯

pebbles ? Do her parents know she’s gonna be an adult one day…..”

Exactly my thoughts!

in Uphill cemetery there is the gravestone of one Fanny Fookes

I met a Pebbles Wilkins many years ago – she’ll be in her 50’s by now

Just now reading the local news:

Wiltshire Council cabinet member for finance, Dick Tonge

Wife used to work in a bank call centre in ’90s… Best name I remember her tell me about was Mrs. Shight. After running through the security checks, and bringing up her details on screen, my wife attempted to address her by the name displayed, mangling it completely in a desperate attempt to avoid pronouncing it as ‘ shite ‘.

There was an audible sigh from the other end of the phone, and the poor woman confirmed in a resigned voice, ‘it’s pronounced shite’.

I once got introduced to a guy named Kevin Wardrobe in a meeting,

I’ve seen an A. Wardrobe in a phone book.

Cal Clutterbuck plays in the NHL for New York Islanders.
Miroslav Satan used to play in the NHL.

Not that unusual but when I worked on C wing at our place we had a Holmes, Watson & a Moriarty in adjacent cells.

I met a Chartererd Accountant who was in charge of Members Services for ICAS. His name was Dick Taylor. I still have his business card!

My friend worked with an Irish geologist by the name of Eamonn Haliday.

😆

There’s a couple in Teddington cemetery, Henry Branch and his wife Olive.

Guy I sometimes see at at work called Willie Hunter, always makes me snigger…

Windsurfer designer Helmut Wanke. An editor of mine in the States was Otto Wanke.
I used to deal with a Michael Hunt at a bikini company.

I went to college with a lad named Guy Feeler, apparently his father was called Richard.

My ex Mrs went to school with Penny Hoare.

Fanny Forest is a friend.

My first Inspector in the police really was Robin Banks

We know a Dr Pepper, who received a formal complaint from a patient who thought he was taking the piss, because she was called Mrs Salt 😀

We also know a Dr Death, and a Doc Marten.

Two of our friends got married, Dr Wright and Dr Payne, but sadly they refused to go for the double-barrelled surname despite lots of suggestions 🙂

I used to work for a share registrar, Where you have to provide legal proof of your name..

Henry Shaw-Twilley.
Chris P Bacon
Johann Sebastian Bach (4 different ones)
Seema Butt
Mrs (yep, she’s elected to take this name) Fanny Gash.
I had to call a man named David forskin

I went to school with a girl called Emma Royds.

Some of my customers names include…

Mohammed Ali
Jim Davidson
Gary Neville
Phil Neville
Wayne Kerr
George Galloway
Dane Bowers
Jed Ward

I nearly had some reconstructive surgery done by a plastic surgeon by the name of Dr Sharp

Someone at my company has the same surname as the people Eddiebaby mentions. His first name is Horst. He came to give a presentation to the uk office, when he announced his name, one of the directors had to pretend to take a call to leave the room as he couldn’t stifle the laughter…

Ragina Sexwhale. He was asking for advice on going to university, I felt like the only good advice I could give was go to a non-english-speaking country.

On our hols in the States my friend was chatting with the receptionist who admitted he liked to pass the time by laughing at guests names..at which point my friend told him to open the guest book and pointed out his own name .. Dick Hoare. People I’ve worked with or had a customers include Rick O’Shea, **** Hing Wong, Richard Head, Paul Mycock, Friendy Sin.

The other football one which makes me chuckle is Rod Fanni

I used to have a customer called Dr Ivan Slaughter. Dr I Slaughter to his unfortunate patients!

A girl in my year at secondary school was called Wendy House. She had one younger brother called Glynn, and another brother called Maxwell.

I work with a Mike Hunt.

Lived next door to a lovely old lady, only knew her by Mrs Bethel, as you do when your in 20s and she was in her 80s. At her funeral I found out her name was Ethel. Ethel Bethel.

My SiL works with a Dr Die. She also knew a boy at the Mums and Tots group called Magic.

I went to school with a Paul Hard.

I know a Richard Spink. Not sure if he prefers R Spink or Dick Spink.

Chuck (ie Charles) Spears
Dickie (ie Richard) Bird
Mr Bonefide (a lawyer)
M. T. (Eg empty) Head – headmistress of daughters school

Gary and Phil neville’s Dad was definatly Neville Neville.

He sadly passed away not long ago heading to Oz where his Daughter Tracey was coaching the Netball team I think.

Some cracking names I’ve come across over the years…..
Ivor Broome
Mike Litt
Mike Kuntz
Gideon Fireman
John Shatwell
Daniel Orson Dawson
Mavis Davis
Dr Mort (otherwise known as Dr Death!)
Dr Patchett
Mr Burns (ex fireman)
Ms Gash + Ms Beaver, job shares + in our office, we quite frequently get our gashes + beavers confused…..

Roman Minge

Royston Nutbeam. Got caught in possession of a porn mag, by a teacher, on a school trip once.
Rhiner Kunkle.