You know you are getting old when…………………..

…………… and i think i'll consider myself old when i know and care what my cholesterol level is.

Don't say that! I have just got the results of my cholesterol levels and they are high and I am concerned

your 22 and the dr says there is too much hair in your ears so i cant see the infection…best ring the swine flu hotline

When you have to push when taking a piss 😯

You choose your cereal for the fibre and not for the toy to be found inside.

True but also you remember when they put toys in cereal. I think they stopped putting toys in cereal…in fact they must have stopped as my kids would fight like wild banshees to get to the toy if they still put them in cereal.

When you go into Lush for a £20 gift voucher. The shop assistant tells you they only sell £5 and £10 vouchers and you're happy because now you've got something to complain about

When you don't have to push when taking a piss, in fact more often, it's a struggle to hold it back because you had a nice cup of tea 10 minutes ago

Daily Mail headlines start to make sense

The opician says you should think about bifocals and you take offence narrowly avoiding the use of the words "young man" in the following rant. So upset and offended by this you go for a pint, only to realise that you have to peer over your glasses because your close up vision is so piss-poor that you can't even see the money in your own hand.

…you become Victor Meldrew 🙁

..and in every discussion regarding age, you can't help but point out that back in your day, Wagon Wheels were the size of your head, whereas nowadays you can fit a whole one in your mouth,

..and once every so often, you accidentally use words like nowadays

…when you deliberately call a SNICKERS a MARATHON just to make a point that renaming chocolate bars is yet another example of Europe messing with our lives.

Lol, and still refer to them as Opal Fruits. Er not Marathons though, that would be foolish.

…when a broad mind and a narrow waist swap places.

When you get a subscription to Which, actually read it, keep back issues and refer to them when you need a new toaster.

Your daughter asks what LPs are.

Old eh? Old ???

I'll tell you about old m'laddy…..

Old is when you think Playboy magazine is for paedophiles…. when 40 year old women look attractive to you…. when sleep attacks you the moment you get home from work… when stuff you have had in the wardrobe for 20 years becomes cool again, but ironically won't then fit anymore… when you get your Lenny the Lion Esso coins out in response to the news that we might get the world cup again…. when you know what a tigers tail is about…. when you remember the time when we had colonies all over the world…. when you talk about Rhodesia….. when you realise that caning is something people now pay for ….. when you ask a copper where he keeps his whistle… sonny…… when you still know how to adjust rod brakes… when cotter pins are still in your toolbox… when you see Paul Nicholas on telly and think blimey he's aged …..

Theres more, but I've got to do some work at some point

True but also you remember when they put toys in cereal. I think they stopped putting toys in cereal…in fact they must have stopped as my kids would fight like wild banshees to get to the toy if they still put them in cereal.

Ahh, that's why I don't buy cereals any more. No toys. Despite what they say in the adverts, I've never found the snap, crackle, pop to be that entertaining. Bring back the choking hazards I say. I really had no idea they'd stopped that.

I saw Paul Nicholas yesterday and thought he looked a little thinner on top 😯

…and kinder eggs, they used to have really cool toys with moving parts, now it's just little figures

When you argue with complete strangers on a forum about trivial things.

When you contribute to a forum titled "You know you're old when.."

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when you see a pair of coduroys and you think 'ummm they don't look too bad actualy'

& I nearly bought some nose hair clippers the other day.

When new recruits are born after you joined the RAF

As a teacher, when you find you're teaching kids who are the age of the grandchildren of kids you taught when you first started. Nowadays, that happens after about 25 years in the job.

I agreed with G!!!

Your face finally looks older than your scrotum!

when 40 year old women look attractive to you….

Well, I was watching Kate Humble this evening, and I was thinking, you don't actually want to know what I was thinking. But you can guess, right? Sorry, I've been a very naughty boy… 😳