While the wife/husband's away……..

Every year my wife and kids go to stay with her mother in Ireland for 10 days. It’s bliss. I miss them, of course, but it allows me my guilty pleasures that I can’t have when she’s here. I’m not talking cocaine and hookers, more insignificant, petty pleasures.

This week:

I’ve been looking at the internet while eating.
I’ve eaten most meals out of a bowl even though a plate would’ve been sufficient.
I haven’t stacked the dishwasher in any logical order.
The dog’s sleeping on the bed.
The bike’s in the house for fettling.
The TV hasn’t gone on once, aside from watching American Flyers yesterday.
I bought white bread.

As I say, not rock and roll, but I feel I’m ‘geting away’ with stuff.

Yours??

…. and posting in the wrong forum. That’d kill her, but she doesn’t know.

Again no lines of marching powder of the flesh of naked hookers, but I like going out for a ride, coming back late, dropping mud all over the house. Drop my clothes on the floor and commence slamming a pizza in the oven while I have a shower and then putting on some low grade action film – preferably something with Chuck Norris/Van Damme/Seagal, as that is a sure sign it will be aimed at my low level of intellect.

That and listening to rap music in my gruds, whilst getting some breakfast in the morning.

I’ve been looking at the internet while eating.
I’ve eaten most meals out of a bowl even though a plate would’ve been sufficient.
I haven’t stacked the dishwasher in any logical order.
The dog’s sleeping on the bed.
The bike’s in the house for fettling.
The TV hasn’t gone on once, aside from watching American Flyers yesterday.
I bought white bread.

As I say, not rock and roll, but I feel I’m ‘geting away’ with stuff.

Your wife seems to run a fairly tight ship. So tight indeed, you can’t seem to fit your testicles in?

Wander around naked and wee in the sink, might as well make the most of it 🙂

I haven’t stacked the dishwasher in any logical order.

some things are sacrosanct, laddie 🙄

My Wife went away with Her sister a while back .If they did hookers in Tesco’s I would have been in there like a rat up a Drainpipe.

Instead I stripped my Bike in the Living room and ate a LOT of Pizza

I can eat pasta for every meal, never have the telly on, read without being told to do something, play music without being told to turn that racket off, actually now I look at the list I’m wondering whether I actually married my mother!

I haven’t stacked the dishwasher in any logical order.

Well you can no longer call yourself a man.

And won’t she notice when she comes home and switches it on.

It’s just nice to take life at your own pace, wife and kids have been away for the last two weekends, even started riding again which I’ve maintained. Trouble is they’re back now and my mum’s coming next week, one extreme to the other 🙄

As for the dishwasher comment scaredypants +1

I haven’t stacked the dishwasher in any logical order.

Surely paper plates were invented for such occasions?

So tight indeed, you can’t seem to fit your testicles in?

I can.

If she says I can.

I forget quite how in control she is until they take their annual trip. Couldn’t do more than 10 days though, I need my direction.

I can eat pasta for every meal

Cooked for tea, it’s good to go for lunch tomorrow. Check.

And won’t she notice when she comes home and switches it on.

Very good.

ride my bike down the front steps, in the front door, round the tight corner, through the hall, into the bathroom, clean it in the bath.
ride it through the kitchen, through the living room, out the back door, across the garden (through the bedding plants, tee hee) and into the shed.

I got caught teaching myself to use the sewing machine. 😳

If she says I can.

😀

Your wife seems to run a fairly tight ship. So tight indeed, you can’t seem to fit your testicles in?

So does your mum give you more room for your testicles?

So does your mum give you more room for your testicles?

My wife’s away next week to visit her sister in Germany, the kids have left home, but I’ve ended up looking after my daughter’s dog 🙁

When the family were away on holiday for a week I felt slightly guilty about bringing the bike stand into the living room, putting the sport on and opening a beer or two. Stripped and serviced a fork but no carpet protection apart form the oil bucket, just to keep things edgy.

A full nights sleep was the other highlight.

my lot has been away for most of august. nowt has changed.

12 hour wankathon

/ thread

I think I have it good. My wife takes the kids to her parents (400 miles away) for two weeks at a time while on maternity leave and feels guilty about it. The oven does not get used over this period.
Two week cycle of work,curry,plan weekend, biking/hiking/kayaking up north. At the end I can tell her how terrible she is for taking the kids from their dad for a couple of weeks.

I’m not talking cocaine and hookers

You’re doing it wrong.

ha ha ha class , however the dishwasher thing sounds like my mrs , agree wee in the sink.

Living the dream with you…

http://singletrackworld.com/forum/topic/so-mrs_oab-is-away

Beard growth challenge – 7 days with no mrs_oab and I grew this bad boy:

(Twas shaved after one snog upon return…she wasn’t happy!)

12 hour wankathon

I would have bet my house you’d say something like that

Clean your bike chain in the dishwasher. My Mrs now considers this normal behaviour.

Amateurs. You need lessons in winding the missus up while she is away. I just sent her this picture after we had a conversation about speakers in the lounge.

Helped a mate pick them up from a freecycle add, before he took them home I placed them in my lounge to see if this would help with my case to put my B&W 601s on stands.

Kids, if you want a puppy, start by asking for a horse.

My wife and son are at her dads currently. Took a day off on wednesday, rode all morning and most of the afternoon, snoozed on the couch, then ordered a dominos. Bliss

Party at OP’s?

I bet you had a wee standing up eh, you naughty boy 😉

Kids, if you want a puppy, start by asking for a horse.

A girl I know did this to her boyfriend when they bought their first flat together. She’d found this stripy carpet that she knew wouldn’t be to her OH”s taste, so she started off saying she wanted to put it on the floor AND the ceiling 😆

I usually end up buying a motorbike on Ebay 🙂

When mines away the place actually gets tidier!

A girl I know did this to her boyfriend when they bought their first flat together. She’d found this stripy carpet that she knew wouldn’t be to her OH”s taste, so she started off saying she wanted to put it on the floor AND the ceiling

So what did she end up with, magnolia. ❓ ❓

I just go all out… crack and hookers though, none of your gay nose powder.

In all seriousness though i just ride more be that skateboards or bikes it matters not… Oh and steak Mrs Rizla don’t like steak.

wee in the sink, might as well make the most of it

Why would I want to wee in my own sink?

Plus, I had to empty the dishwasher this morning (finally ran out of cups). It was a right PITA. Should’ve stacked it logically. Damn her.

+1 @zippy.

why is it that women like to control so much and make life a general misery, A. because they don’t have a hobby themselves, grrr. Actual this thread needs a sister thread “Most anal/bone moments from the missus”

Why would I want to wee in my own sink?

I’m not going to justify that with a proper response.

Funny how most people have said about not having to watch TV!

Get fed up of having to watch crap on the TV with the other half. Better now we live in a flat with a seperate Kitchen as it means I can cook while listening to music again.