Watching your new topic fall away due to inactivity

How is that chap not in a shallow grave by the side of a lonely highway!

Thank goodness i have CaptainFlashheart beside me. His cod piece has a fully stocked drinks cabinet and a place to rest ones weary head.

*When i say ‘beside me’ i mean gagged and bound and wearing a party hat

Can’t sleep so having a marathon session of this.
Just thought I’d share

Is that Felix Leiter going undercover?

How come Eurovision gets to be a sticky and yet this thread isn’t ?
Sooner we are out of Europe the sooner this thread gets put in the place it deserves

#ToysOutThePram #LifeAintFair #HopeYourSouffleSinks

#ImTellingMyDad

I think eurovision will come in stuck fairly quickly so don’t worry.

I know you are right but I can’t help but feel offended.
It makes my grand brave efforts of fighting for a deck chair at the Brighton Pavilion was for nothing 🙁

#summerOf68

Well it’s gone now and we’re still here so sit in that deck chair, pour your self a gin and enjoy

I’m concerned you’ve actually eaten the purist now, that he’s made you ill and your lying on the floor of your basement writhing in agony as your slowly consumed by done sort of food poisoning that can only be gotten from eating the wing bits of people. U warned you is like those fancy fugu fish in sushi restaurants but you wouldn’t listen.

I say concerned about the above, I’m bit really, just that you might have a record of my name somewhere when your neighbours report the smell.

Spent a pleasant afternoon with mrsfry yesterday.

She introduced me to her pets:

A few of her ex lodgers:

And showed me her new going out gear:

Luckily I distracted her with a bottle of gin and managed to wander away.

Im a muppet..blimey bought a wrong size rear shock!!!

Optimum
Bluetooth Keyboard
Item No.: 291705

Made this :}

Just got it from B&M for 9 quid 🙂

B&M? Is that some sort of fetish club?

@dangeourbrain

Want an invite 🙂

MrSFry will be there 😉

MrSFry will be there

I think fry is dead. I would go for arrested but, short of Prince harry being a normal single young male, a tory mp having being outted as not entirely comfortable with publicising their sexuality , Nigel farrage turning out to be a Chezch or world war three (in that order) nothing would have kept that off the front page.

Anyhow I found 16 live eels down there, not one of them male.

How do you sex an eel?

You could start by asking them out for a drink.

phew, that was close. It looked for a few days as if this topic had fallen away due to inactivity.

thepurist – Member
You could start by asking them out for a drink

That’s a r-eel-y bad joke

It was elver that or something rude, and you conger wrong with a bad joke.

I think we should run a sweep stake on what fry is up to.

I vote he’s gone to Bangkok for a few weeks of decadent immorality without the need for rope and gaffer tape

You selfish bunch of Kanye West fanboys and girls

Epic rant starting in 5…4…3….2….1

After Eddiebaby and i had what i thought was a lovely day together
i invented him back to my abode in the country…middle of the woods….no witness. I wanted to show him the foundation i dug for my new patio (as i’m kind like that) i even made him one of my cocktails (green and bubbly with a cloud of little skull and crossbones), but he went all weird, mumbling ‘Where was he, why was he tied up blah, blah, blah”

Just as i was about to show him a closer look to my magnificent entrance the little tyke wriggled out of my arms and pushed my into my own hole!

It was horrible 🙁 I can’t tell you the horror of being trapped in my own hole for days and days (it was dark and smelly) and the walls were to smooth to climb out of. I had to resort to eating the contents of my belly button (it’s amazing how many cakes, pasties and small burger vans one can find).

Oh the horror of it all 🙁 I had to pluck my leg hair and weave it into a rope and use that to climb out. Now all i seek is vengeance on all those who never came looking for me (and all those who gave me a fake phone number)

I shall have my vengeance….first it will be your toilet roll and then next your tea bags MUH HA HA HA HA!

Dangeourbrain kicks in his sleep 🙁

I wouldn’t mind but he drove 120 miles to do it

No pudding for him

I’m told the kicking is less annoying than the disco dancing, which it transpired, was a direct result of changing the light fitting for a glitter ball.

Be warned Perchypanther is a Jezebel

Is anyone else laying awake wondering who or what Thepurist is checking genders
Does he need special tools or devices !? Has he got one of those black medical bags or
does he bung it all in his pocket.

Maybe he built his own contraption. I bet it also makes coffee and detects ozone as well

Thepurist is blooming amazing 🙂

Damn it Damn it Damn it. Knuckles and hammers do not mix.

What about Frankie Knuckles and Jan Hammer? They both do a bit of mixing.

Damn it Damn it Damn it. Knuckles and hammers do not mix.

Sorry i laughed 🙁 But if the only way your wife can keep you off her Jaffa cakes is to use a hammer, maybe it’s time you bought your own

perchypanther – Member
… They both do a bit of mixing.

that’s a Baker not a boxer.

her Jaffa cakes

assuming that’s not a euphemism, I’ll stick with my tunnocks’ caramel wafer (mightiest of all the biscuits)

17 nudibranchs. All male. And all female. Indecisive critters. But they know how to party.

Are you in your wellies again?

I don’t have any wellies these days. I don’t think I’ve owned a pair since my feet got too big for the frog ones as a protest against them not being available in adult sizes.

Wellies are still full of eels so it’s a flip flop on my left foot and a handsome brogue on my right. Must buff the flip flop later.

Use one of those big floor polishing things, just don’t forget to take the flip flop off before you buff it.

I hope you chaps don’t leave home without your cumberbun!

(I bet that Thepurist is really Brian Hubba Hubba Blessed)

At least Thepurist has an excuse for coming home at all hours, slightly damp, strange look on his face and smelling of eels. What’s your excuse Mr Dangeourbrain ?

(Bet it involves that Marry Berry )