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[Closed] Suicide isn't painless

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This morning my best friends son ended his life at the age of 22. Jake I don't know why you did it, I am so sad and so angry at you. I don't know what to say, just gutted. Just want to get it off my chest. FFS what a waste


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 9:28 am
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Sorry to hear that.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 9:31 am
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Arse.

I'm sure there are more eloquent ways of sympathising, but you get the point. Thoughts are with you and his family.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 9:33 am
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Sorry to hear that. Lost a good mate at work a coupla years ago to suicide. He was a great guy, didnt make any sense to us at the time, prob never will. Hard, hard times.
Can only imagine how you and your mate are feeling just now.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 9:34 am
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I'm sorry to hear that.

You're just left with an empty space where they used to be and endless "what if's" after someone does this.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 9:37 am
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Really very sorry. Please take time and take care.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 9:37 am
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Thats terrible news. Really sorry to hear that

A lad down the road from us, about the same age, did the same recently. I was baffled as to how your life could be that bad, so young, to want to take your own life. Thats normally the time when you're filled with optimism.

It seems slightly more comprehensible if your older, maybe been through the mill a bit, having had a lot more years to make a right old mess of things. But at that age.... ?


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 9:52 am
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<hugs>


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 9:56 am
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Really sorry to hear that mate.

An old friend of mine did the same 3 years ago aged 27, terribly sad and still makes me angry. Take some time to support your mate now and over the next couple of years.

Jonny from Seaview in Swansea.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 10:25 am
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That's very sad for all concerned.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 10:32 am
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Pigface. So sorry to hear this.

Take care,

J


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 10:36 am
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So sad, so young, such a waste of a life.

RIP young man, and condolances to your family and freinds.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 10:39 am
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Good friend of mine walked in front of a train a few months ago. It leaves a totally different hole to 'normal' grief. I'm happy that he doesn't have to suffer his experience any more, but the feeling that he should have, [i]could[/i] have found the answer seems like it's going to be with me for the rest of my life.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 10:40 am
 iolo
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Don't be angry at him.
I have been in a bad place due to mental illness and have attempted several times. Luckily I did not succeed.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 10:48 am
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Sorry to hear this P-F. Thoughts are with the family.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 10:48 am
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Don't be angry at him, though it's perfectly natural.
He was ill, and it's so sad that he wasn't able to get help in time.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 11:04 am
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Indeed, I believe this would be the extreme of emotions. The utter release of ending your pain and the devastation left behind for others.

Take care and do what you need to do for your mate.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 11:07 am
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Really sorry to hear that,

I lost my cousin the same way just over a year ago, the pain in my uncle's eyes is still there and no-one knew why he didn't ask for help in our close family. The memories will never fade and in my heart i've found peace hoping he's happier now.

Take care


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 11:17 am
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Sorry to hear that, Pigface.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 11:26 am
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As difficult as it will be please try not to hang yourself up on "what if" and "maybe" because you will never find any resolution to those questions.

My condolences for you and your friends loss RIP


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 11:27 am
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stayhigh - Member

As difficult as it will be please try not to [b]hang yourself up[/b] on "what if" and "maybe" because you will never find any resolution to those questions.

not the best use of words...

thoughts with you OP


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 11:33 am
 iolo
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maybe not the best thread to make jokes like that on eh unfitgeezeer?


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 11:35 am
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Genuinely gutted for you, Pigface. My thoughts are with you.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 11:36 am
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Deepest sympathies to you, his friends and family.

The Pingu household thoughts are with you at this sad time.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 11:36 am
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iolo - Member

maybe not the best thread to make jokes like that on eh unfitgeezeer?

Really not making jokes...sorry if it has been read like that...


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 11:38 am
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<hugs>

Rachel


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 11:39 am
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So sorry.

Samaritans are there if you or your friend need to talk to someone anonymously, some say it's helpful


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 11:49 am
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Awful thing to happen. 🙁

My thoughts are with all those concerned.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 12:09 pm
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Crap, genuine dumb arse moment there. Please accept my apologies for any offence caused 😳


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 12:11 pm
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As awful as this is for those close to the lad try to look at it as a release for him.

Perhaps the alternative would have been a life time of mental illness, depression, medication, therapy etc etc and he just couldnt face it...ultimately who would he have been doing it for?....himself or those around him?

Its not actually the cowards way out as some people suggest, it takes a huge amount of courage to make that decision and carry it out, he's in a better place i'm sure.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 12:18 pm
 iolo
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Well said deviant.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 12:20 pm
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Fantastic insight, Deviant. Nicely worded, too.

Sorry for your loss, PF.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 12:23 pm
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🙁

If you're struggling, ask for help and help will come.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 12:58 pm
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Horrible for those left behind, I'm sure. Sorry for your pain.

I heard an interesting way to look at this from a doctor on some radio program a little while ago. Instead of thinking of it as a mental flaw or weakness, just remember that depression is a disease. Sometimes it is fatal. Blame the disease, not the lad.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 12:59 pm
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Remember, he wasnt selfish or a coward...he was neurologically ill. He had a disease that was rooted in his neurobiology and died because of it just like cancer patients do - it's not your place to be angry.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 4:34 pm
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Jake I don't know why you did it

You have my sympathy, it's a terrible thing.

But as above, do remember that it's not a decision made for any reason. Sometimes our brains go wrong, and this can happen. The old fashioned movie stereotype of a man on a ledge in the Great Depression doens't really apply in most cases I think.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 4:48 pm
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People need to get away from the old idea depression or bipolar is a reason for suicide,lots of things are also relevant, lifestyles, lack of money,job loss, relationship breakdowns,family breakdowns, bullying,stress and sexual identity, and lots more.

Its just so very sad for the person who takes their own life, they just didnt feel confident enough to just talk to someone, to ask for help, and to be listened to.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 4:59 pm
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A friend of mine struggles with suicidal thoughts regularly. She has a happy life, a family, three small kids, but sometimes an uncontrollable self destructive streak takes over. She spends a lot of time in therapy of some kind, so even having the courage to talk to someone isn't enough.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 5:03 pm
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That's a bit s hit.

*hug*


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 5:07 pm
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What deviant said and others have also expressed. It's not selfish, or cowardice. It's the converse; for someone to carry on living through deep depression and mental illness, when all problems seem insurmountable and there's never any end in sight, just because of the effect it'll have on those left behind - that's about as selfless an act as I can think of.

Thoughts to all concerned.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 5:43 pm
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My sympathies and thoughts are with you. My fiancee's brother took his life just over three weeks ago at the age of 21, 8 years after they both lost their younger brother to cancer at the age of 10 - it came as a complete shock as none of us had any idea that he was feeling this way. We had not long been on holiday with him and his mum, and he seemed his usual cheeky self. I've had the job of sorting out his computers (he was partially disabled and spent a lot of time online gaming) and found a suicide note that he emailed to himself, obviously knowing it would be found... 🙁

Having struggled with depression myself but never quite got to that point, I just feel a great sadness that he felt unable to talk to anyone about it, and that none of us knew how he was feeling. The only consolation is that he's no longer in the terrible torment he must have been going through, but it doesn't make picking up the pieces any easier.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 5:59 pm
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Very sorry to hear such very sad news. The lad must have been in terrible mental pain.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 6:27 pm
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suicide,lots of things are also relevant, lifestyles, lack of money,job loss, relationship breakdowns,family breakdowns, bullying,stress and sexual identity, and lots more.

Yeah which tends to cause depression, anxiety or a loss of contact with reality. People very rarely rationally decide to kill themselves.

And your vulnerability to that is quite often genetic ergo physiological.


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 10:33 pm
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My thoughts are with you Pigface. I lost a dear friend a month ago and I/we can't get our heads around it. Why?


 
Posted : 19/11/2013 10:51 pm