Stuff that makes you disproportionately cross

“when did they all start saying tewmrick instead of turmeric?”

My girlfriend says tewmrick and I am cross with myself for not having the balls to correct her.

^^ see also bay-zil, oreg-en-oh and urrrrbs generally!

Braking bumps especially on berms. I don’t understand why you’d be braking on a corner anyway.

Rode the new Flat White today which I believe has only been open after been rebuilt and it is already showing signs of wear. Still amazingly good fun though.

Mild or mature cheddar that doesn’t taste of anything. Go extra mature or go home.

Milk that isn’t cold on cereal.

People on eg Facebook who assume that everyone is in the US.

You can guarantee that whenever someone is talking about a place on social media without actually saying where it is, it’s either the US or London.

Braking bumps especially on berms.

After the preceding post, I had to read that three times before I worked out that you weren’t talking about a large bread roll.

Having my brummie way of speaking English corrected by Scottish people. The same Scottish people who do don’t pronounce their ‘T’s or ‘L’s (I give you ‘Fitba’), pronounce the letter J as ‘jie’ (rhymes with tie) and can’t say purple burglar alarm.

And I don’t even have that strong a brummie accent ;⁠)

don’t pronounce their ‘T’s or ‘L’s (I give you ‘Fitba’)

How does fitba not have a T in it?

Scottish people who do don’t pronounce their ‘T’s or ‘L’s (I give you ‘Fitba’), pronounce the letter J as ‘jie’ (rhymes with tie) and can’t say purple burglar alarm

I pronounce Ls and Ts, don’t say jie and can even say purple burglar alarm.

How many Scots are digging you up about a brummie accent in reality? One?

English people who call lochs locks.?

I would agree that extra mature cheddar tastes best but if you need to slice it or grate it then it just disintegrates so going slightly younger is a compromise between taste and structural integrity

I don’t get the l & t non pronunciation but I do say fitbaw and J rhymes with tie or pie even slightly

Jay is a corvidae to me

Predictive text sigh

can’t say purple burglar alarm.

TBF though it rarely comes up in conversation.

How many Scots are digging you up about a brummie accent in reality? One?

In my 22 years of living in Scotland I haven’t counted but it is definitely more than one, at a guess 5-6. Once by a lecturer in Inverness college, because I said J as Jay.

Obviously it’s not all Scottish folk who don’t pronounce their ‘T’s but some definitely do (or should that be definITEly).

https://www.cs.stir.ac.uk/~kjt/general/scots.html#:~:text=Scots%20Pronunciation&text=In%20some%20areas%20of%20Scotland,as%20’wa%2Der’.

But there’s no need to get all defensive for other Scottish people being fannies, there’s plenty of English people who are also unpleasant to Scottish folk, like Londoners calling them ‘Sweaties’ (sweaty socks – Jocks).

TBF though it rarely comes up in conversation.

True, not in every day chat. I pretty much like how Scottish people roll their ‘R’s, there is only one way to say “there’s been a murder” and that’s like it was on Taggart.

But there’s no need to get all defensive for other Scottish people being fannies

I didn’t call them fannies for having their own dialect, but you did. That’s something for me to be disproportionally cross about!

Jay is a corvidae to me

I was thinking of something else.

When I lived in Wolverhampton, I was often taken for Scottish and sometimes this was taken further to outright hostility.  Apart from the fact that I was from 60km to the southwest and had a Black Country parent.  It was of course having a Scottish education and partner and inevitable usage of certain vocabulary that did for me.

The small hole that Scott’s Porridge Oats deem sufficient to dispense the oats. I sometimes get enraged enough to tear the entire top corner off the box.

The way some folk say drawring for the word drawing is never heard in Scotland but Simon and the nice pair of knockers Blue Peter presenter must have been a bit middly class and from down sowf somewhere

It’s just drawing for me

English spelling – it’s a game of guess the vowel and you often end up writing something that is totally unlike the way the word is spoken.  I rely on spell checking to spot failed guesses.  However there are sneaky obscure homophones out there that will defeat the spell checker.  There is so much judgement and snobbery about it too, so if you cannot get it right 100% your life can be made very difficult.

The way some folk say drawring for the word drawing is never heard in Scotland but Simon and the nice pair of knockers Blue Peter presenter must have been a bit middly class and from down sowf somewhere

It’s just drawing for me

Conversely, the way people write ‘draw’ when it should be ‘drawer’

The fact I was trying to do a good turn and now I’m going to end up in TK maxx on a Saturday afternoon. I predict grumpiness in the near future.

Oh and somehow I’ve messed up the curry recipe so it tastes a bit flaccid

Close the door and drift away
Into a sea of uncertainty
Where all your hopes and dreams
Have faded out of reach.
Remember all the bad dreams
Are not far from reality
Would you write again for me?

Anyone else deeply curious as to what a flaccid curry might taste like?

Microsoft Word and its ‘kin pita method you have to follow to make the occasional page in a document be landscape orientated.

The fake reductions on SportPursuit’s own-brand items. I shouldn’t care; I’m obviously not going to buy any of them. They still annoy me though.

All those mouth-breathing dawdlers who wilfully refuse to apply Highway Code rule 2 on the urban and suburban paths I walk, run, and cycle on. It’s almost impossible to travel correctly and predictably along any path with them. Perhaps our new Labour government could instruct England’s schools to take a break from exploring the finer details of the fetid depths of Michael Gove’s fundament to give an occasional refresher on how to ****ing walk in public.

People who use the word ‘oriented’ when they mean ‘orientated’ (this is certainly not directed at the post 3 above, where the correct word is in use. That just reminded me of the irritants)

Anyone else deeply curious as to what a flaccid curry might taste like?

I like curry – whatever that might taste like I’m pretty sure I don’t want it anywhere near me!

Anyone else deeply curious as to what a flaccid curry might taste like?

Not sure, but a closely related situation would have been a Major problem

:applause emoji:

Has anyone mentioned maps that when you zoom in the features get bigger but the text doesn’t? As I get older this is a growing source of frustration.

Driving an hour each way to collect a bargain eBay purchase of a nice Technics HD560 stereo and speakers, securing it in the car for the journey, only to drop it on the floor whilst trying to open my front door….. is what I’ve done this evening!

(two broken side panels and a speaker grill damaged – but it still works!)

It’ll be deployed in the shed once I move home.

This is plastic glitter confetti. A neighbour had a party and thew this plastic rubbish, littering the pavement. Muggins here gets the brush and shovel to sweep it up, before it ends up in the grid and water course. Arrgghh.

That would make me cross too Bunnyhop.  The same kind of people who release balloons into the sky without a thought as to where they will end up.

I was disproportionately cross about the driver in Milton Keynes with their rear fog lights on this morning.  It wasn’t foggy, there was the lightest of mists.  And there’s no need to have them on in town anyway.

EDIT – I am aware that Milton Keynes is a city these days

Sultanas with the stalks still on.

Drivers sat with their foot on the brake pedal for extended periods when parked up. FFS put it in park or put the handbrake on or something! I’ve no idea if you’re about to drive off or be there another 15 minutes. Best one was the bloke sat with his foot on the brake AND in reverse while stationary the entire time I was in the local supermarket. F me man.

Sultanas with the stalks still on.

Yep, can agree with this wholeheartedly

I’ve another cold. Granted I work in GP surgeries – the very next best thing to children attending a nursery for passing infections but seriously? It’s only Nov, it’s going to be a long winter season if its going to carry on like this.

Also: recently installed bike lanes where I live, should be a “yay” but in reality, they’re now just the lane that any old tit uses, going in any direction they feel like regardless which side of the road they’re on and what vehicle they’re using.

Anyone else deeply curious as to what a flaccid curry might taste like?

A korma without the coconut.