Stuff that makes you disproportionately cross

People that think that science or medicine is ‘done’

Does anyone actually think that?

Cars parked partially on the pavement.

At the old house, all my neighbours parked up on the pavement by maybe a foot or so.  I never did.  After my third or fourth overnight hit-and-run write-off I too started pavement parking.

At the old house, all my neighbours parked up on the pavement by maybe a foot or so.  I never did.  After my third or fourth overnight hit-and-run write-off I too started pavement parking.

Horses for courses. If I pavement park in my road, it makes the road just about wide enough for 2.05 cars. Which means that people try to get through doubled up and sometimes misjudge it – I’ve had 2 wing mirrors done and at £100+ to replace, enough’s enough.

By staying in the road there clearly isn’t space and people are forced to do it properly.

By staying in the road there clearly isn’t space and people are forced to do it properly.

Added bonus, wheelchair users and kids in prams/buggies aren’t forced onto the road because the pavement is blocked. Which is nice….

Oh, sure, that just an anecdote, it wasn’t meant to be a one-size-fits-all response.

Rather, for all your mirrors, this is the sort of thing I had to contend with:

On the left, a stolen Scooby.  On the right, the remnants my Passat that even Molgrips would struggle to resuscitate.  Granted, being up on the kerb probably wouldn’t have mitigated this particular joy, point is that this sort of thing wasn’t uncommon when living on a main road.

Added bonus, wheelchair users and kids in prams/buggies aren’t forced onto the road because the pavement is blocked. Which is nice….

This.

Taking the grandchild out gave me a whole new perspective on what it’s like to be using the pavement on wheels.  Sure, I’ll just roll a two-year old  out into oncoming traffic because you can’t be ****ed to walk ten yards to the chip shop then, shall I?  Arseholes.

On the right, the remnants my Passat that even Molgrips would struggle to resuscitate

and there was me thinking your claims of write-offs must be exaggerated!!

The new lids on some drinks bottles. They just seem pointless. They don’t detach so you can’t lose the lid but then they can be tricky to get back on especially for older people with knackered hands.

The new lids on some drinks bottles.

Same design on some cartons of fresh juice etc, they just get in the way when you’re trying to pour the liquid out. All over the chuffing worktop.

The lids are now recyclable in conjunction with the bottles, possibly a different process or made of similar plastic type so can be recycled together.

Before I imagine lids got lost and ended up in places they shouldn’t. Down drains, in the water system etc etc.

The new lids on some drinks bottles.

I like them.  I’ve lost count of the times I’ve had a drink in the car and fumbled the cap so it pings off under the seat.

and there was me thinking your claims of write-offs must be exaggerated!!

Yeah, that one wasn’t small. 😁  I was oblivious, I had friends round and we were playing Rock Band on the Xbox.  I got a phone call from my mum, “are you OK?”  Uh, yes?  “Someone’s just knocked on my door, said there’s been a car accident.”  I went out to investigate, expecting a lost mirror or something, and was met with that scene.

As the story goes, it was an Asian lad who contacted my mum after failing to raise my attention (because I was knocking seven bells out of a plastic drum kit).  In broken English he goes, “your son, blue car, big accident, very bad” and my mum’s like OH MY GOD!!

The driver of the stolen Impreza was another young Asian lad (I lived in Accrington, we had a surfeit of them) who allegedly had been walking past the house of the owner who had ‘just started it up and left it running because he was selling it,” our hero had gone “****ing Scooby, fantastic!” and had away with it.  It’s not clear from the photo but just lower down the road is a small traffic island.  He’s come up the lane with the bit between his teeth, zig-zagged around the island, physics outstripped his ability and he oversteered at about 45’ straight through the face of my Passat.

He initially took to his heels, but in the end he came forward and handed himself in.  I rather suspect that the local Asian community didn’t give him a great deal of choice in the matter, they were good like that.

I think they should change this thread to ‘ Absolutely anything, not matter how small, that makes Cougar cross(or even slightly miffed)”

My Garmin Instinct watch that, whilst functioning as a watch, has zero ability to, even semi-accurately, record activities, a significant supposed benefit/purpose of said device. It can’t track distance properly, having failed to recognise multiple measured 5ks, 2 x official 10ks, and much to my dismay didn’t recognise a half marathon. In addition, it thinks that walking up a 1% incline has elevated me to heights akin the Alps, or Himalayas

My Oral B electric toothbrush. It does a great job of cleaning my teeth but the rechargeable NiMH battery only lasts a week and takes 24 hours to charge. I’m eagerly waiting for it to die so I can get one with a modern battery but it just refuses.

Electric toothbrushes !

I’m starting to think that Wall-E is a documentary from the future

My Garmin Instinct watch

“Make A U-Turn”  If I ever meet the Garmin employee who wrote the bit of software, or signed off on the project that enabled this as an actual on-screen instruction after the watch decides that you’re off-course….I’ll, I’ll give him a U-Turn…yeah, that’s what I’ll do,  that’ll show them…Or something.

Anyway, that.

Brewers who’ve started calling traditional bitter and pale ale ‘amber ale’.  Marstons Pedigree, Fullers London Pride etc.  Apparently they do it because they think the word ‘bitter’ will scare younger drinkers off. I think they’ve lost the plot.

Taps and sinks on trains. They’re rubbish. The sensors don’t work and the water – IF THERE IS ANY – just dribbles out. The sinks are so tiny there’s no way of keeping the floor dry. Manky

Having just walked round Malham Cove, the number of signs alerting people to lambing etc and the number of dogs off the lead.

When you get unsolicited phonecalls that start with ‘how are you today?’ Why don’t they just say ‘will you give us your money?’

Verbose political threads  where everything is complex, difficult to understand and change and whataboutery. Why not just say ‘I support apartheid’ and save everyone a lot of time?

People who drive along unlit country roads,  in bad weather, doing about half the speed limit, with nothing coming, who don’t put their headlights on full beam.  Yes I know you’re driving very carefully, that’s very commendable, but if you could actually see a bit more you might be able to go just  a little bit faster.  And now we’re on a downhill section please take your foot off the **** brake. Just change down a gear and stop **** dazzling me.

People driving on undulating NSL roads who don’t understand physics and therefore do not apply more acceleration as they go uphill.

Computer manufacturers who can’t agree to all use the same key to access the BIOS on startup and don’t display which one it is in the splash screen (plus keyboards that have a tiny switch to change the function keys from function keys to shortcuts).

This is the plug in our sink.

If it is lifted up a bit the water drains away fine and and bits if waste are caught so the trap doesn’t get blocked. But no, every effing time it’s removed so I get to enjoy dismantling the waste regularly.  Drives me pissing insane,  I’m thinking of supergluing it in place, (which would be entirely futile as then it wouldn’t even work as a drain)

The weather

“Gifted” instead of given.

Passive aggression, false premises, and thickos.

The use of the word “hubby”.

Selfish people   ..

Shite parking  on pavements

The rain  around Saddleworth ..   I think its rained almost none stop since September in one way or another!

No direct Flights to Sofia meaning Bulgaria mtb holiday will be an arse involving London village

” I think its rained almost none stop”

The use of none stop when they mean non-stop

If it is lifted up a bit the water drains away fine and and bits if waste are caught so the trap doesn’t get blocked. But no, every effing time it’s removed so I get to enjoy dismantling the waste regularly. Drives me pissing insane, I’m thinking of supergluing it in place, (which would be entirely futile as then it wouldn’t even work as a drain)

Oh dear god, looks like MrsMC has an evil twin and you’ve married her!

I’m sure it’s grounds for divorce

Oh dear god, looks like MrsMC has an evil twin and you’ve married her!

Nope. An evil triplet at least, because Mrs Onewheel does that too. Why?

Oh dear god, looks like MrsMC has an evil twin and you’ve married her!

Well, I’m putting a bid in for quadruplets on this one. Mine’s the same. Every time she peels potatoes or carrots. FFS.

Well, I’m putting a bid in for quadruplets on this one. Mine’s the same. Every time she peels potatoes or carrots. FFS.

I must live next door to one of you…my neighbours drain blocked and was overflowing into the back yard while she was out so I donned the marrigolds and a prodding stick and pulled out huge chods of long purple hair and pasta spirals.

Hair I can kind of understand, but she must have forced at least a pan worth of left over pasta down the plughole? When I told her about it, it was… “again? I don’t know why it keeps doing that?” (this was the second time its overflowed since I lived here…after I tactfully explained that plug holes are for water, not food waste… it hasn’t happend again… yet!

Nat West trying to charge me £670 for my home insurance renewal, when online quotes from other companies are around the £180 mark, also the letter arrived six days after the first instalment went out and twelve days after it was dated, this has properly pissed me off.

My wife (and kids) need regular reminding that the dish washer cannot get rid of food that is left on the table plates and bowls.

They also think that the washing machine can wash pants and socks whilst they’re still in the inside-out trousers that they’ve removed in a single action.

Postman delivered a letter addressed to me to the wrong street (just around the corner). The guy who lives there kindly brings it to my house (may have been a few days or a week later). It’s an NHS letter asking to to call them to make an appointment for an MRI on my knackered thumb (MTB accident).

The next day I call the NHS appointment line only to hear an automated reply stating they are on Easter holiday. I call back the first day they are back working after Easter only to told the window for me to make an appointment had closed. I’d need to wait for the consultant to request an appointment again and join the queue again. FFS I have been waiting since January.  Who devises a system where they post out a letter to get you to call for an appointment which times out in 5 to 7 days? Do schadenfreudes devise these systems?

Well, I’m putting a bid in for quadruplets on this one. Mine’s the same

We need to form a support group….

Might have been done, but… People who say ‘Expresso’ rather than ‘Espresso’.

I’m more of a metrosexual flat-white or latte man, myself, but it really bothers me.

I even heard a presenter on Radio 2 say it the other day. THIS COUNTRY IS GOING TO HELL IN A HAND CART.

The fact that, even after nearly 10 months, X is still referred to as: “X (formerly known as Twitter)”

FFS. I don’t post on X, nor have the app, but even I know what the fudge it is.

@mattyfez

Parking meters that have a little keyboard for inputting your registration number but is laid out A,B,C etc and not in standard QWERTY layout! Takes me 10x as long to work out where the letters are as it feels so unnatural