Private Education – Speak to me about it.

Our eldest is due to start primary school next year. Unfortunately, we live in a pretty rough area and the local primary school is to put it bluntly shit. Is it worth paying a few grand a year to send him to a private school? It would stretch us a bit financially.

Chose a better school nearby ? we moved our sons school when he was 6 and he was much happier.

a friend of mine goes misty eyed and tells of being buggered by the prefect

You will meet a lot of stuck up **** and some nice people.

If you decide to go down this route make sure your child still mixes with plenty of “normal” children as they (children) can pick up snobbery very quickly.

The other local alternatives in the state sector are not much better to be honest.

Soggy biscuit I believe is a game which is often played in these establishments.

I guess alot depends on the school you want to send the poor little blighter to. Day pupil or boarder?
I don’t have experience myself but know plenty who did, my family used private school as some kind of threat/punishment.

a friend of mine goes misty eyed and tells of being buggered by the prefect

misty eyes or tears?

You may as well request that people tell you about state education, motor vehicles or rock music.

A million and one variations exist.

This being STW you’ll also get a load of bitter old lefties with chips on both shoulders, spouting off about something they know nothing about.

I went to both private and state schools. One of the private schools was good, one was okay and the other was bloody awful. Conversely, I attended a pretty poor state school and a truly excellent state sixth form college, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Symonds_College, which consistently ranks in the top 10 nationwide.

Private schools are not necessarily better than state schools, you’ll also be surprised at the range of parents who choose to send their children to them. Private schools educate around 8% of the nation’s children, they’re not all like Eton. You won’t be rubbing shoulders with the landed aristocracy at the majority of them and based on my own experience, snobbery was notable only by it’s absence.

I have however, experienced no end of inverted snobbery from jaded old class warriors with an inferiority complex.

Do what’s right for your children, nothing else matters.

Would it be cheaper to move house to a better area than fork out thousands of pounds for education when you have paid into the state system for years .If you intend to keep your child in the private system for 13 years moving house must be a cheaper option?

Don’t they still cane children in private schools? 😉

The other local alternatives in the state sector are not much better to be honest.

Do you have evidence for this, or is it just heresay/your assumptions?

It’s primary school. If you’re that concerned, save yer money up for when the nipper is ready for secondary school, as educational quality at that stage in their development is more important.

Of course, if you’re a fit and decent parent, then you’ll obviously be able to give your kids the extra education they deserve, to make up for any inadequacies at school…

As with anything i ‘purchase’ i’d be looking for value for money, there’s poor private schools as well as poor state schools so do your research and choose wisely.

As a teacher in a challenging inner city school i’m confident that whatever the school, an intelligent child will do well though perhaps would not be stretched as much as in an outstanding school.

Have you thought about moving, that’s what we did.

nipper is ready for secondary school, as educational quality at that stage in their development is more important.

That’s rubbish! kids are most receptive to good education when they are young and soak up good information and teaching methods early.Leaving it until they are eleven is to late

Moving is unfortunately not an option. Although we have enough cash to pay for their education, we have a piss poor credit rating so cant get a mortgage.

That’s rubbish!

No it’s not. The attention span of younger children is a lot shorter, so not suited to the more intensive prolonged teaching that they will benefit more from once they reach secondary school age. Before that, it’s more important that young children are in a safe, nurturing and stimulating environment where they can be encouraged to find their own strengths at their own place, not be pushed too much beyond their natural capabilities.

Also, children’s’ individuality in terms of their particular talents starts to become more distinct the older they get. Pushing a child in the wrong direction, too early, can have damaging consequences. Just because they show an interest in painting or whatever at 6, doesn’t mean they will definitely go on to be particularly gifted or even interested in art etc. Indeed, any particular talents are perhaps best nurtured outside of a group, in order to not alienate the child and their peers.

Give the little ‘uns scope to have fun and learn in a comfortable manner. I can’t see how any private school can provide a great deal more than a decent state school, at this level.

OP; ask yourself why you want your kids to go to a private school. If it’s because it’s the best option, and you’re fortunate enough to be able to afford it, then fine. No problem with that at all. But if it’s to keep up with the Joneses, or through your own need to appear a step above others, then maybe you should examine your own character a bit more. Your kids deserve the chance to be themselves, not a reflection of your own personal inadequacies.

One possible problem I can see with sending a kid to a school some distance away, is that they might become distanced from other local kids who go to the local primary school. Outside of school, they will know each other and be comfortable together. Maybe the kid who goes to the school further away will find it difficult to relate and mix with the rest of the others. Just a thought.

As Elfinsafety said – If it was me I’d send your child to the best state primary in your area and save your money for later years and perhaps send them to a private secondary school when the ‘proper’ education kicks in.

If you’ve got half a brain yourself then you can explain the stuff they teach at primary school yourself if you feel they’re dropping behind.

And don’t underestimate the social education you get from mixing with kids from all areas of life.

but what if your nearest school is full off the offspring of feckless wasters who wants their kids to mix with the great unwashed for 6 years?

This being STW you’ll also get a load of bitter old lefties with chips on both shoulders, spouting off about something they know nothing about

Phallacy of equivocation. Do you know what I mean 😉
Granted many of us did not go and clearly we all agree they generally give a better education – would anyone pay for a worse education than they could get for free – the only issue is whether we think this is fair. I suggest it allows privilege , rather than talent, to flourish and you can see this in our current government/cabinet.
Surely someone like you could drive or cycle them 50 miles to the nearest state school that meets your high standards? Nice troll Smee.

The curriculum for early years kids is now about self initiated learning – and this is throughout all schools, it’s not about pushing your kids beyond their abilities it’s about nurturing their talents.
As such it will have a much more profound effect on their education at this stage than secondary school.
Private education is worth the money, if you don’t have a decent state school, but as others have said they are as varied as state schools. You would be better getting the opinion of some local parents.

bBut (Cap.) what if your nearest school is full off of (Sp.) the offspring of feckless wasters who wants (Grm.) their kids to mix with the great unwashed for 6 years?

Well if you’ve already got such a blinkered and narrow-minded attitude, then maybe they’ll benefit from mixing with other individuals, and maybe not grow up with your bigoted views about others?

One other take. Sometimes bright kids can really shine in poor schools. It depends on the kids of course, but if they want to learn then they will and the teachers will often nurture and cherish them as they are such a relief when compared to the rest.

Bigoted? I am glad I can spot them so that their views and behaviour don’t rub off on my kid .I don’t send mine to the local school but one 5 miles away and others do the same, although living in a small town we have a sink estate and some of its inhabitants are to be avoided

Went to a mix of private and state over my time (military)

Some good and some bad, one state school in windsor I lasted a term, having been pushed over a large carpark wall on my first day and then threatened with a knife on my second day….lovely place.

Did my final GCSE and Alevels in a private school as a full boarder. There was some echos of the past, I was told to clear sixth formers tables etc (they were promptly told to f off). That was 10 years ago I would have thought all that stuff has gone now.

Do what’s best for your kids, but be prepared to pay through the nose for fees (I can’t believe how much my old school charges now). Hopefully junior is clever/good at sport so can get scholarships, I got both and an army subsidy so actually worked out cheaper for my olds to have me at school!

What was a bit gutting being at a private school 15-18 is it’s the time everyone gets their first cars. Being loaded they were all turning up in pretty nice motors (one had a jag at 17). I was the only one in my year without so felt/was made to feel like a poor person….

EDIT: did I write all that in response to a smee troll? FFS. Right, it’s all been deleted.

As such it will have a much more profound effect on their education at this stage than secondary school.

Really? So, why are the majority of fee-paying schools at secondary level, then?

Bigoted? I am glad I can spot them so that their views and behaviour don’t rub off on my kid .I don’t send mine to the local school but one 5 miles away and others do the same, although living in a small town we have a sink estate and some of its inhabitants are to be avoided

Maybe things would improve if the children of the snobs and the scrotes mixed though, eh?

The fact that you use the term ‘sink estate’ reveals your snobbery.

ourmaninthenorth; I found it interesting and enlightening! Please re-post it!

Seriously, I think it was honest and open and extremely relevant. Forget if it’s Smee trolling or not; it’s a good discussion.

Maybe look into the Steiner education system? That seems to be confidence building, flexible and caring.

I would keep well away from boarding schools – I have met a lot of people who were sent to boarding school (one from age 5, the oldest at 12, several in between this age range) I would say that all of them are emotionally screwed up. Almost unfailingly their family/partner/emotional life has been something they seem unable to cope with or enjoy. I am sure there are a few exceptions to this, but its not worth the risk in my opinion. Its not just your child who will pay, but its partner and offspring.

I don’t know if Glasgow is anything like Edinburgh: Here in Embra there is a widespread panic amongst the middle classes about having their darlings going to school with riff-raff. The consequence is the huge migration every morning to drive kids right across town to the school of choice. I take it the parents know they are already paying for their kids education through their taxes? This of course means that the ratio of potentially achieving kids to the small handfull of problem ones in the state schools becomes worse.
My son went to the local Primary and I have nothing but praise for how well resourced and managed it was and was impressed on the whole with the level of commitment to the kids the teachers he had was.
I went to a private school in Embra (it was free because my father taught there)and I thought the teaching and running of the school to be of a worse standard than what my son received in the state system.
If your local school is really dire then tell the education dept that you refuse to send your child there and they’ll probably let him/her go to a different local school. It worked for friends of ours!

Yes OMITN please repost it. It is a good discussion and my question is genuine. I do not want to send my kids to a school that teaches them less than the nursery he went to at 3yrs old.

Its worth every penny if you can sustain the cost.

Most private education goes up year on year, we expect to pay between £2,000/3,000 for the first year, and this increases at around £900 a year, if our son remains at this school until he sits his exams, then his final year of education is projected to cost us just under £17,000, all though this will include his exam fees.

Now the total cost for our sons education from 4yrs to 17yrs possibly 18. is expected to be around £132,000

Myself and my partner both went to the local secondary schools. we both feel that the education we received at our school was ok.

But how times have changed, when we went to visit the local primary schools in our catchment area,we were both amazed at how big the class sizes were, how many schools didn’t have permanent teachers in place for the coming terms,and just the general feeling that the schools didn’t have any money to buy the things they so desperately needed.

The notice boards were full of up and coming events to raise money for this, that , and the other.

There is 2 schools in our borough that have an outstanding reputation,but they are not in our catchment,so we either have to lie like some of our neighbours( 1 even went as far as to rent a flat near the school and used that as there address ) or put our child in 1 of the 3 schools that the council have told us he must go to.

so we looked into private schooling, and like has been said above they are good and bad in everything and private education is no different.

the school we chose has a very good reputation for the way in which it teaches the children,but also has a very snobbish element to it.

You only have to look at the car park at the end of the day, as they all stare at the poor couple in there Honda.
But we dont mind as its not about us its about our son.

But a few things did stand out, guaranteed class sizes of no more than 15 pupils,until the age of 7.and then no more than 20

All the primary teachers have all been at the school for over 7yrs.

But all this comes at a cost, we sold both our cars,my motorbike, our dirt-bikes,my partners piano and
bought 1 do it all car (Honda accord tourer)

We have just had to accept the fact, that for the next few years our son will be in private education,but we wont have to find the money as we sold the things that weren’t important just nice luxuries

We both just felt that as we can afford to send our child to a private school for at least the next 7 yrs then we should, based on what was available to us in our area,
If we had the chance to send him to a decent state ran primary school then thats where he would go,but until the 2 near us show dramatic improvement we feel its not fair to our son to take that risk with his education.

Hopefully it wont be for ever as i would like a new bike soon.

Mb

sell your house and rent somewhere in an area with a good school

my 3 all go to state schools and are getting an excellent education

As usual when this post comes up (as it does regularly) there’s a lot of rubbish posted.

I would suggest you go and arrange an appointment to have a look around some private schools. You’ll get a good feel for the place by meeting the teachers, kids and seeing the facilities which should tell you whether its worth spending your hard earned money on it.

The real point I was making was that, while it suited me and my parents’ financial situaiton didn’t negatively affect me, it did affect my sister who had to leave a girls public school to go to the local state secondary.

She takes the Philip Larkin view to my parents’ role in her education. She’s sorted now (and ironically, I’m now the one who’s f—ed up).

If your kids aren’t bright (and so can’t get you a discount by passing exams – yes, that’s the reality), then it will cost you. As will the fact you’ll feel guilty if you don’t “afford” any siblings the same “opportunities”.

If your child is bright (measurably, not rose-tinted parent view), then state or private is fine. If they’re thick or SEN (no, these aren’t the same before you all start), then private is good, but state can be v good too.

If they’re average, private all the way.

HTH.

I do not want to send my kids to a school that teaches them less than the nursery he went to at 3yrs old.

a valid point, but here’s something else to ponder – it’s not just schools that play “catch-up”

I went to a fee paying independant secondary school as a day pupil (there were a handful of boarders there) at age 10 – a year earlier than all my contemporaries; I sort of cruised through earning 10 GCE O levels, all at grade B or C. I then did 4 A levels (OK one of them was General Studies, a non-subject) and just about muddled through.

At 17 I was at University going over the same core Physics & Electronics that I’d already covered in my A-levels, simply because there was no guarantee that everybody on the degree course had taken the same options in their A level physics syllabus.

At the end of year 1 I’d lost interest and scraped through the end of term exams, but it didn’t get any better. I never even started the final year of my degree

I would keep well away from boarding schools – I have met a lot of people who were sent to boarding school…. I would say that all of them are emotionally screwed up

Well I think I turned out ok thank you very much!

But there were some real messed up kids, having been there it was generally the richer the kid the more problems they had, nothing to do with whether they were a boarder or a day.

And thinking about it – it was no different to messed up kids in state school. Just (from my experience) a lot more violent in (bad) state schools than bad private (where scores were settled without knives on the rugby pitch…)

Our son goes to a private school, we’re not wealthy people, just a normal family with both parents earning reasonable salaries. Just like most of the parents of the kids at his school. Private schools in general aren’t full of ‘posh folk’ any more you know. And as above the only snobbery he experiences is of the inverted kind.

Is it any better than the state schools he could go? Yes by a long way, he’s a couple of years ahead of kids he hangs out with from state schools in terms of education and life experience.

Elfinsafety, how many children do you have or alternatively where do you teach?

Just interested like.

the other consideration is your kids being negatively perceived as the ‘povs’ at private school who live in a scummy area and whose parents have no spare cash for ski trips

the other consideration is your kids being negatively perceived as the ‘povs’ at private school who live in a scummy area and whose parents have no spare cash for ski trips

Read my post above iDave. Plenty of people choose not to go on ski trips in my sons year and it may or may not be to do with finances.

my post was prompted by a friend’s experience gary.

i went to a top grammar school and have nothing against private, but my kids are very well educated at their local state schools

We choose the option of sending our two to private education at the start of year 3. The private schools have good and bad points like any school. The points we liked is that trouble makers are removed from the school, the excellent support for pupils after hours and the sports facilities. Both ours got reasonable GCSE results and both choose to leave to do their A levels.

In the one we choose there was a large number of people like us (as well as some very rich folk). The days of ‘fagging’ have gone and bullies are thrown out of the school. It can be a long day for the kids (even from an early age) and the holidays are long. And it is not cheap. I started to add up how much it had cost and stopped because I didn’t like the amount.