MyHermes: Divide by Zero

😆

What is it? I didn’t realise you were expecting a parcel….

How long then; door to door….?

If only Voldemort had thought to send the seperate pieces of his soul through the Hermes parcel “delivery” network.

That specky spod Potter would have been well humped.

If you’re looking for the other one, it’s in your hall – top left in your photo. Looks like a(nother) Wiggle drop. It was there all the time silly Billy… 🙂

so.. has it been delivered, or returned?

I’m actually get a bit tearful. Congratulations.

Also….don’t you have a letterbox?

It doesn’t look big enough to prevent them sticking it through the door.

Now they know where you live. Not sure if that’s a good thing. Maybe worth letting the Christmas rush die down and try again if you want to actually come face to face with your local agent, assuming they actually exist.

Returned or delivered?

The answer / zero = errorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Dropped off at the parcel shop on November 15th on a 48 hour service.
Today is December 13th

“crashed scan”?

What does that mean?

Based on that, and the fact it was just left in the stairwell, my guess is that the driver pretended that the scanner didn’t work and faked a signature.

Isn’t this the point at which you go back to Hermes and say ‘Who the heck is Alan?’. Unless of course you do have a neighbour called Alan?

Dropped off at the parcel shop on November 15th on a 48 hour service.
Today is December 13th

And technically it hasn’t been delivered to the recipient… given to dumped in a stairwell and a signature from a random made up bloke called Alan != delivered to addressee.

Round 2? best out of 3?

Do you think Alan is my delivery driver?

I think Alan is the new delivery driver with the big van. I am wondering if their thing about giving it to a new driver to deliver means that the depot finally noticed some of my driver’s chicanery..?

@OP – think myhermes conditions provide for a refund of posting charges for late deliveries so you can claim and go again.

Only one way to find out..

Do you think Alan is my delivery driver?

Interesting! I hadn’t thought of that, I had just assumed it was the original crap driver faking a delivery, but you could be right your new semi-competent delivery driver could be the Alan…

If you do go for round 2 then I think you should post two parcels at the same time, one very small, say the size of a kinder egg toy capsule, and one very very big. By the MH explanation they should be given to two different drivers based on their van sizes, one to vanish into the abyss, and one to be delivered by Alan and his big van, either way we’ll be some way closer to understanding this dastardly web of deceit they’re spinng!

I want to send you a parcel. In fact I think we all do, whats your address?

refund of posting charges

How do they send you the refund?

I guess a mass parcel posting could be fun!

Rather not put my full address up, so pm if you want it.

Don’t suppose someone can tweet this to MyHermes CEO (I don’t have Twitter) or knows their email address?

Much easier with Amazon. Two days ago we waited in for a Parcel. Received a text that it’d been delivered 2 mins ago – yet not even a knock at the door. Quickly opened the door to find said parcel leaning against the Street side of the gate, lazy tosser.

Quick complaint, one month free extension to Prime.

perchypanther – Member
Well, Open it!

We’re dying to see what your soul actually looks like.

Surely, with the emotional investment we’ve all made it’s our soul?

Surely, with the emotional investment we’ve all made it’s our soul?

There’s no need for that. No one forced you to read through ten pages worth.

Cracking thread, thank you MGH 🙂

This is too amazing not to be tweeted but I’m not on twitter either. I know a BBC Scotland journalist though and could run it past them?

yourguitarhero – Don’t suppose someone can tweet this to MyHermes CEO (I don’t have Twitter)?

Takes 2 minutes to set up an account and you’re good to tweet although a direct message might be fairer as a first step.

At this point you could lodge a formal complaint that they haven’t delivered it to you at all, demand a full refund run the complaints process through the mill, thus costing them loads of time and money,just to make a point? I do this with organisations that fail to resolve a complaint satisfactorily. Takes ages but g take a perverse pleasure in knowing I’m eating into their profits, safe in the knowledge I’ll never choose to give them another penny!

Don’t suppose someone can tweet this to MyHermes CEO (I don’t have Twitter) or knows their email address?

I did @ them in a tweet about it yesterday. No response on twitter but tracking numbers are very visible on here.

perchypanther – Member
Well, Open it!
We’re dying to see what your soul actually looks like.

Also:
December 1st, Sylvester (Hermes email chat guy)
“We will also, as a gesture of goodwill refund your postage cost to your original form of payment.”

Guess what else they didn’t deliver?

AHAHAHAHA

The email with that survey link came in at 6:09, It’s now 6:23

Waiting for my bag to turn up, expected delivery 13th December – location of parcel on 15th ….. central depot in Rugby and we’re in Essex.
This is not going to end well

You should write this up for vice.com

They will pay you!

I have coffee machine spares out for delivery with them today. It should go through the letter box. Odds on it being left in the recycling wheelie bin/not delivered?

Love this thread.

I’m having a parcel delivered today by MH so fingers crossed, but we do have an excellent MH driver so I’m not too worried.

I have a small online business and have not used them since a couple of years ago I saw one of their big lorries transfer a load of parcels to one of their smaller vans/crappy delivery cars. The lorry driver was dropping the parcels from the back of his truck to the floor, approx 4ft. Not using the taillift or passing them to the other driver just dropping them one on top of the other… I think it’s a game of ‘we don’t care how many we break’ to them

This just popped up on Facebook

The lorry driver was dropping the parcels from the back of his truck to the floor, approx 4ft. Not using the taillift or passing them to the other driver just dropping them one on top of the other… I think it’s a game of ‘we don’t care how many we break’ to them

Just had to refund someone on a broken item, my second in a few weeks. I’m stopping using them

You should write this up for vice.com
They will pay you!

good call

Paid for next day from CRC on Thursday cause I needed something for the weekend (no, not that)
Heart sank when I saw the tracking…………MyHemes

No sign Friday. OK weather had been pish.
Sat. 14:00. Out for delivery between 12:00 and 16:00
Sat 16:30…Delayed, now due between 17:00 and 21:00
18:30 “Delivery attempt made, allow 24h on 18/12/2017”
No it bloody wasn’t.
I’m in Edinburgh BTW. Seems they’ve got form

Maybe they hate guitar heroes?

I’m not sure if I’d prefer MH or ‘still living in the dark ages’ Canada Post. They were running adverts 2 or 3 years ago saying “in the future you’ll do most of your shopping online and have it delivered straight to your door by Canada Post!”. In the future?!? I’ve been shopping online for at least 15 years. Never mind the fact that my building complex doesnt have mail boxes, so you need to go to the post office itself to get mail and parcels. At this time of year it’s usually a 30 minute wait, sometimes 45 or an hour. And they’ll only hold things for 10 days. Fun fun fun.