My 11yo daughters are size 14 and my son is 20 stone – what am I doing wrong?

From the BBC:

Her two nieces were wearing size 14 skirts by the age of 11, the average size worn by a grown woman in the UK.

Her son also struggled to find a uniform big enough at secondary school as his weight crept up to nearly 20 stone (127kg) in his teens.

“You do feel judged by other people when your child gets to that size, but the harshest critic is yourself,” says the mother-of-two from Birmingham.

“I constantly asked myself ‘what am I doing wrong?'”

*hand up*

Ooh… ooh.. miss.. I know.. me.. me… I know..

“I constantly asked myself ‘what am I doing wrong?’

😯 🙄

Is it.. is it.. “cake”?

they’d be in care if she was starving them to death but feeding them to death is ok.

strange days.

“I constantly asked myself ‘what am I doing wrong?'”

It’s a good question.

Well, the BBC think it’s a good question…

Did you read the whole thing?

There was one fat girl who was not eating breakfast or lunch, and was eating a big dinner and snacking unknown to her mother during the night.

As far as the mother’s concerned, she’s eating one meal a day – how can that be too many calories?

Don’t judge til you know the story. And don’t rip the piss out of people who aren’t bright. It’s not nice at all.

This thread needs closing, it’s got no good in it.

GrahamS –
Is it.. is it.. “cake”?

No it is CAKE!!!

To be fair it’s an interesting article.

But that opening gambit was perfect material to feed the troops of the Elite Elevated Equine Division 😀

Gentlemen, to your stepladders!

limited money to buy healthier food

So it’s just me that finds a bag of apples cheaper than a bag of chips then?

molgrips, for a 10+ year old you may have a point but;

among four and five-year-olds it’s 22%

there are no 4-5 year olds who are that big and ‘secret eaters’ – parents know what their kids are eating at that age and it’s likely they’ll have been over feeding them for years to make them obese by the time they’re in reception/year 1 at school.

Up until school everything the child eats comes via a parent or carer.

CAKE?

What about a little Joss Ackland’s Spunky Backpack, eh?

Nobby – Member

limited money to buy healthier food to

So it’s just me that finds a bag of apples cheaper than a bag of chips then?

Either your apple-shop is cheaper than mine or your chippy is dearer.

molgrips – Member
Don’t judge til you know the story. And don’t rip the piss out of people who aren’t bright. It’s not nice at all.

Why do you assume they aren’t bright? Not everyone had read every iDave Diet thread.

Yeah, I think the best way to help those who are obese, be they parents or children, often undereducated as to what is best to feed their children or themselves is to point and laugh. That’s what helps the best.

There was one fat girl who was not eating breakfast or lunch, and was eating a big dinner and snacking unknown to her mother during the night.

Yeah but how does that work exactly? What was she snacking on? Who bought it? And why didn’t they notice that it was going missing?

Personally if my King Size Dairy Milk suddenly evaporated overnight there would be an inquiry held!

And possibly some waterboarding.

i lurve a bitta cake!

eating one large meal a day is bad for you too – your body just stores it all rather than processing it.

That’s what helps the best.

30 years of health education hasn’t worked and a bit of pointing and laughing can’t make it any worse, can it?

Personally, I find it despearatly sad that the first few generations in this country that have never known hunger seem to have decided that killing themselves through over eating is the best response to having enough money to buy food every day.

Either your apple-shop is cheaper than mine or your chippy is dearer.

Bag of apples in the Co-op =£1.00, standard portion of chips from the chippy next door but 2 =£1.20.

30 years of health education hasn’t worked

Apparently not…so we need to change what we’re telling people, maybe?

a bit of pointing and laughing can’t make it any worse, can it?

It’s certainly not going to make it any better, that’s for sure.

“Two thirds of adults in the UK are now classified as overweight, so our perception of what we consider the average size to be has changed,” says Gately.

It’s nothing to do with being thick, we’ve gradually slid to the point that it’s normal to be fat. The medical types here, do doctors and health workers have straight-to-the-point talks with people about weight or is there pressure not to “judge”?

limited money to buy healthier food

I’ve never understood this one.
If people are fat because they are poor and pies are cheaper than apples, then wouldn’t less pies be even cheaper ?

a bit of pointing and laughing can’t make it any worse, can it?

Yes, it can and it does.

Its not rocket science and it is not intelligence based
Everyone knows how to get fat and thin just like everyone knows whether smoking is good for you or bad for you.

Education is not the answer its self control.

don’t rip the piss out of people who aren’t bright. It’s not nice at all.

Not all fat people are stupid molly watch your own prejudices if you want to berate us

As far as the mother’s concerned, she’s eating one meal a day – how can that be too many calories?

But surely if you see your kid is geting fat, but only eatnig one meal a day you realise some thing else is happening??

so we need to change what we’re telling people, maybe?

possibly but beyond;

“Look you’ll die young and so will your children will you stop eating shit, please”

What can we say?

And once you’ve said it all and got angry then, sometimes, laughing is the only response other than crying isn’t it?

[edit] I’m being over simplistic and there are all sorts of psychological causes for all this I know. It just seems to be that, ‘en masse’ people can’t be changed. As individuals they all know there’s a problem but there seems to be very little that a government can do, at that level, to change people’s habits day to day.

It is desperatly sad for a lot of people who are overweight and want to change.

Making comments on here in a general way is different to pickign out individuals and doing it (imo). I can’t change what people choose to do but in the end (as above) it comes down to self control and being able to see the benefit of losing weight and adopting a generally healthier lifestyle. I’ve no idea how to force someone to achieve that,

laughing is the only response other than crying isn’t it?

I guess it is for some.

do doctors and health workers have straight-to-the-point talks with people about weight or is there pressure not to “judge”?

My missus does (Diabetes & Endocrinology specialist so it comes up a lot).

Some people appreciate it, but the levels of denial she encounters are incredible.

Ever watched “Secret Eaters”? People happily turn in food diaries saying they are eating 2000 calories, then the cameras (which they knew were filming them!) show them they are really eating closer to 4000.

don’t rip the piss out of people who aren’t bright. It’s not nice at all.

Not all fat people are stupid molly watch your own prejudices if you want to berate us

I’m not berating anyone, I mis-worded that. It was a general statement. IF the people in the article are indeed thick then it applies to them, otherwise not.

My missus does

Does she have a good laugh at them while telling them they’re massive porkers?

But, and there is a but – I pretty much can eat what I want and always have and still weigh the same as I did +20 yrs ago (12st and 6’2″), but I know when others (family/friends) eat the same…

For most people though it’s a simple ‘calories in’ vs ‘calories out’.

The medical types here, do doctors and health workers have straight-to-the-point talks with people about weight or is there pressure not to “judge”?

Interesting point.

IIRC there have been cases where patients have taken offence and complained (and I think policy changed) about being called ‘obese’. Not “fatty fatty boom boom”. “tubby”, or “large”. Obese.

Obese is a medical definition. The same as hypertensive is a medical definition. The same as (snigger) micro-penis is a medical definition.

This is objection to reality on a very superficial level, but the whole idea runs much deeper – essentially, people refuse to believe they are overweight and there are medical implications to that.
If you refuse to believe something, you are unlikely to change….

DrP

PS – if your BMI is greater than 70, you’re in the new category of….drumroll…..HYPER-OBESE.
Brilliant.

It’s not considered professional to cry at work so, yes, probably 🙂

Does she have a good laugh at them while telling them they’re massive porkers?

I don’t believe that is within the current NICE guidelines.

She does make piggy noises though.

oooh Hyper-obese – it’s always good to have goals 🙂

slightly OT- but those bed bound blobs, they can’t feed themselves,so someone else is helping/not helping ?

rocket science

Maybe that’s the science we should be teaching in schools, all about that green leafy stuff you get in bags from Tesco

She does make piggy noises though.

Too. Much. Information.

IIRC there have been cases where patients have taken offence and complained (and I think policy changed) about being called ‘obese’. Not “fatty fatty boom boom”. “tubby”, or “large”. Obese.

Was watching “One Born Every Minute” or some such guff the other night (I watch great TV eh?) and it was focussing on the complications of very overweight pregnant ladies.

One of them was getting most upset that the nasty meany doctors kept mentioning her weight and implying it was a problem…

we’ve gradually slid to the point that it’s normal to be fat

Agreed, so normal in fact that clothing sizes appear to have changed over time. In my teens and twenties I was always a medium size, now I’m 40 and the best part of 2 stone heavier and I’m still a medium. How does that work?