Like Burgers? Like Toast?

Hog damn….that the best invention since squirty cheese 😀

Open the can!! Do it now!!

Really wanna see how vile the slurry contained within is!

Patience!

a) I have jam to make.

b) I have drunk to get. One cannot intentionally waste food I’m sure you’d agree, no matter how vile. Therefore I need to be inebriated in order to consume this lips ‘n’ bums concoction.

I have chopped the garnish though. (Home-grown ‘n’ organic, for the STW-factor)

No longer disappointed, actually quite excited now.

lips ‘n’ bums concoction

The middle classes now call this ‘nose to tail eating’. Although that phrase congours up an image of the human centipede.

Not sure what to add two that other than

Errrr

Bon appetite

Home-grown ‘n’ organic, for the STW-factor

Disappointing lack of artisanery in the bread though.

Interested to see where the sugar figures in all of this.

Are the smart price cheese singles also a dare purchase?

Interested to see where the sugar figures in all of this.

..the sugar threw you, rather than the Triffid-sized rhubarb?

Double ginger ?

I’m hoping this goes well. I’m always looking for the perfect utterly filthy, stodge-laden snack-ette to accompany my post night ride pint. Something that is so wrong, yet so right

I’ve not messed around at this either! I’ve taken this quest very seriously! I even tried one of these…

It promised so much, but was like chewing a carpet. And not in a good way 😥

..the sugar threw you, rather than the Triffid-sized rhubarb?

Pudding. Obvs.

Jam made, wine quaffed, let’s do this.

My immediate thought is “quality”. Why isn’t “quality” used on the label?

The cat food like appearance is only surpassed by its sublime consistency – it’s like that thing we all wish for: reformed cat food.

I’m trying so hard to not eat it cold right now.

Add some quality cheese…

It’s nearly a reality…

BOOM!

..and can I just say, I hope to never experience anything that could ruin a granary baguette and ooddles of salad quite so efficiently, ever again.

Bravo!

Where’s the proof that you have even licked it.

It’s a bloody masterpiece!

You should of used squirty cheese!

Think this is the poshest application of burger toast in the history of burger toast. It’ll be shown on the packaging for years to come, should there be a favourable review 😉

Sweet Jesus! How many people are you intending to feed with that?

Where’s the proof that you have even licked it.

My vocabulary cannot convey the horribleness that is “eating” this. Give me some time.

Jeepers!!

That looks worse than I had imagined. I can almost smell over the interwebs…

I expect a report using the info in this thread in a day or two.

I wish your intestinal tract, the very best of British luck!

Maybe it took offence to the salad. You’ve clearly gone against the very simple rules, to a huge degree.

A) that’s a poncy baguette, NOT crap white bread.

B) Salad? SALAD?!!! Where on those instructions does it mention salad? Eh?

Now go and do it again. Properly this time. Then sit and have a think about what it is you’ve done!

Done.

I genuinely don’t feel well.

Do you like peas?
Do you like cheese?

😯

Recombinant goo! Yummy! 😀

Is impressed at the bravery of not having a 24pack of loo roll in your original picture. Did you really think that the salad and granary was somehow going to fight off the evil of that tin

As someone who was a veggie for 15yr before retuning to fold I can eat meat as long as it looks a bit like what an animal looks like when you slice open. But one look at that shit and little bits of puke start rising to the surface. Same with pate so it’s not a posh/cheap thing, just a **** up food thing.

Well done for keeping it down.

Actually looked yummy, is it from asders, I might get some weekend with a box of minion biscuits for when Mrs DoD off on her worky travels (or bike delivery window as I look upon them)

Binners …. Did you toast the bun though, I find that lifts the experience 🙂

Well done for keeping it down.

There’s still time for an inappropriate return of the slime

So, man fails to follow instructions, then complains that something didn’t turn out very good.

I mean, they weren’t that difficult, were they?

But you just had to go and F- it up by trying to be oh so clever with your fancy, pretentious, middle class, sub-roll and salad topping. If they had meant for you to do that, then it would have said so, wouldn’t it?

Do you buy much from Ikea by any chance? Do you randomly add stuff to the instructions they give you as well?

I think I understand why they sell it in a tin rather than a jar

As he’s not responded for a while I suggest we start deciding who gets his bikes. It’ll be the paraquat on the salad that got him, though.

Bearnecessities – chapeau as genuinely lol’d at that from start to finish. Excellent effort. Saturday Kitchen needs you!

And you said I needed help….

middle class, sub-roll and salad topping.

Look at the top of the packet and give the guy a break. Salad’s OK. He’s taken one for the team and deserves our gratitude. He’s just knowingly eaten a tin of slurry for heavens sake!

Do you buy much from Ikea by any chance? Do you randomly add stuff to the instructions they give you as well?

Theres a website for people who do that that sort of thing

Jerkersearcher[/url]

Perverts

Awesome job 😀

Cat food like stuff turned into Subway style grub. Equally horrid 😀

In all the excitement yesterday, I forgot to ask. Did it actually taste like a burger? If not, what did it taste like?