Attn: Stoner – Stool Analyzer

Sometimes the internet just provides…

http://www.stoolanalyzer.com/

😯

OK, I’ve put the sample into my scanner. What button do I hit to get my results?

“Export log file.”

😀

Puts down Mars bar.

Puts down Mars bar.

Careful where you drop it.

bongohoohaa win the interfloppy for the day!
awesomez

The ideal stool is at least two inches (5 cm) in diameter and twelve inches (about 30 cm) long.

30cm! I’d get the neighbours round to have their picture taken with it.

“Well, that’ll be the Yule Log”

30cm! I’d get the neighbours round to have their picture taken with it.

I assume that’s pre-snippage.

The ideal stool is at least two inches (5 cm) in diameter and twelve inches (about 30 cm) long.

Ideal for whom, collectors?

Alternatively,

The ideal stool is at least two inches (5 cm) in diameter and twelve inches (about 30 cm) long.

Shit a brick!

Going by last weeks performance, the analysis came back as “rusty water”.

This week was much more “Ray Reardon’s lucky break”

I shit myself, then remembered the difference between radius and diameter….

then realised I’ve never had a shite with a girth of 2″ (never mind “at least”, it must be like passing a bloody rugby ball.

classic quotes on that sit

“An ideal stool looks like a torpedo – it should be large, soft, fluffy and easy to pass”

Dunno how you figure the soft fluffy bit though..

Soft jobbie, warm jobbie, little ball of poo.
Hard jobbie, spiky jobbie, ew ew ew.

Two loops with a point on each end.

girth = circumference, so 2″ girth wouldn’t be a problem. But 2″ diameter would have me screaming.
And something of that size would weigh nearly 600g,well over a pound. It would be worth getting rid of before a ride, though.

girth = circumference, so 2″ girth wouldn’t be a problem. But 2″ diameter would have me screaming.

16mm diameter seems a bit unlikely though if they really do mean 2″ circumference. Maybe it’s a typo and they mean 2′

Two loops with a point on each end.

Keep practising. Eventually you’ll make one of these.

Dunno how you figure the soft fluffy bit though

I don’t remember eating any fluff.

thats not fluff – thats gloop

this is fluff

this is fluff

Should have gone for the Shih Tzu…

The ideal stool is at least two inches (5 cm) in diameter and twelve inches (about 30 cm) long.
30cm! I’d get the neighbours round to have their picture taken with it.

One of my kids has no issue with producing such monsters, (at least in turns of length), with a regularity that would shame the Swiss. There’s not a toilet in the family that’s not been blocked at some point – my father-in-law now keeps a short length of cane specifically for the purpose of beating them down the u-bend.

She’s now 11. This has been the case since she was about 6.