Let's Talk About Bullying.

Uncle Jezza isn’t a bully. He just gets confused. He’ll post some forthright opinion or other, then he’ll root around for another Werthers Original, his nurse gives him his medication and empties his bag, and by the time that’s all done he’s forgotten what he posted, so posts the same point again

😀

DS, don’t forget the “Edinburgh Defence” 8)

Kenny Senior – Member

TJ – Since I joined this forum a couple of years ago two members have stood out as bullies. Elfinsafety was one, and you are the other one. Different styles, but both bullies. I have to be fair, and point out that I don’t think you are nasty like he was, and perhaps don’t realise what you are like, but your behaviour is bullying in my eyes.

So when you feel like you are getting a lot of flak on a thread, maybe other people see a bully boy getting a taste of his own medicine and then crying about it? That’s how I see it, and I doubt I’m the only one.

Obviously I don’t consider myself a bully -)

Its more about obsession with me and perhaps an inability to not have to get the last word, or the inability to accept that people do understand but dont agree. After all if they understood they would agree so I keep trying to explain. ( laughing at myself here) I really have no issue with being questioned or challenged

there is a lot of missed nuance goes on on when communication is by test only and I believe this leads to a lot of misunderstandings

I do tend not to complain much about the vitriol aimed my way – of which i do get a lot. The baiting I find harder – several people continually make posts intended to entrap me in further arguing or to irritate and belittle me. Its hard not to respond.

I am genuinely sorry if people see me as a bully.

anyway – I did not intend to respond any more to this but thought this worth a response

DS, don’t forget the “Edinburgh Defence”

How could I possibly forget this? Thanks, but it has never been used against me, so I do have an excuse.

He can delete all the tweets he likes, hundreds of people have read the jibes at Mark, Rocketdog, myself etc, they won’t forget.

All of the personal emails are still around too.
THIS a few of us have had e-mailvand tbh I would not have banned him but he does kind of walk into this and love the notoriety.
He also sees it as you are either with him or against him which is a shame..I am not sure why he thinks his persona wont antagonise some tbh and in the thread he was banned on I could not see what he was adding to the topic.
Bit of a marmite character but he has got very personal this time and gone way OTT

Think is TJ does not mean it[ bullying and i dont hink for a second it is bullying but he does say thinks in a very black and white manner] and sometimes TJ gets grief when he does stuff.
However people often just attack him before he has even said or done anything….many threads mention him befor ehe posts and many are ready to attack or use their specail words to get a reaction form him he may deserve “special attention” but he gets more shit on here than anyone else and it is not deserved IMHO. I dont knwo why he tolerates it tbh 6 of one and half a dozen of the other but TJ never sets out to deliberately offend, anatagonise or annoy unlike so many of those who atatck and oppose him

EDIT: SEE DS does it because TJ put him on his kill file list so he cannot resist an opportunity to have a dig at TJ but of course TJ is the bully.

What grum said as well this thread is just tragic navel gazing I am oot [ call it a flounce if you must]

He can delete all the tweets he likes, hundreds of people have read the jibes at Mark, Rocketdog, myself etc, they won’t forget, well they might but you see my point.

Let’s say I’ve been out for an houur an left the computer on with a Twitter page open that still shows all the Tweets.
What could I do with this?
How’s the wind fella?

EDIT: SEE DS does it because TJ put him on his kill file list so he cannot resist an opportunity to have a dig at TJ but of course TJ is the bully.

Not necessarily true as I generally lock horns on threads that I have an interest in and knowledge about and in my misguided way think that TJ could actually learn something. You’ll find plenty of TJ threads that I stay away from, simply because they bore me.

I’ve looked at this thread for about two minutes and the thing that shocks me the most is the amount of time some of you folk must waste on here.

Do you not have jobs/lives to be getting on with rather than frantically typing on the internet? I honestly don’t know how people can spend so much time on here and have a fully functioning life.

Let’s say I’ve been out for an houur an left the computer on with a Twitter page open that still shows all the Tweets.
What could I do with this?

Not a whole lot, apart from the jibe at Mark re teaching, that’s borderline and Mark has taken screen shots of the tweets AFAIK.

TJ as I said, I don’t think you’re nasty or cruel – not for one minute. And it’s not your dogmatic belief that you are always right either. But you do belittle people who don’t agree with you, quite a lot – accusing them of naivety and so on. That to my mind is a form of bullying others. Obviously not everyone sees it that way though!

I honestly don’t know how people can spend so much time on here and have a fully functioning life

I’d say the ‘fully functioning life’ is a hell of an asumption

Now you mention it Kenny – I think you are right.

Can we just blame the Tory press and move on ?

😉

I honestly don’t know how people can spend so much time on here and have a fully functioning life

That’s a leap!

Kenny – and to some extent that is when / where the nuances have got lost I think. My intent (generally) is not to be rude

I accept that it’s not intentional. I hope you can appreciate what I’m trying to point out though.

Indeed Kenny.

Not necessarily true as I generally lock horns on threads…

Is that how you see this place? No wonder it gets so argumentative!

I’ve said it before about TJ – he gets grief out of all proportion to what he’s actually said. I was saying much the same thing as him on the thread about wealth last week, but people chose to focus on one word he used that I didn’t (describing people on £40k plus as “elite”). Obviously, no-one was interested in the substance of his point…

Is that how you see this place? No wonder it gets so argumentative!

Only when I selectively quote and don’t read things properly. Perhaps if people did this more often, rather than trying to mis-quote, things would run a little smoother. 😉

Not a whole lot, apart from the jibe at Mark re teaching, that’s borderline and Mark has taken screen shots of the tweets AFAIK.

Excellent.

The big mayn deleted all his bile and venom

300!

Only when I selectively quote and don’t read things properly. Perhaps if people did this more often, rather than trying to mis-quote, things would run a little smoother

I directly quoted your previous post, which was not in any way contradicted by anything else you said. If you meant to say something else, you could make use of the edit function.

Anyway, I find your use of the phrase quite revealing. But as I have no interest in doing the same, I shall leave it there.

Not necessarily true as I generally lock horns on threads that I have an interest in and knowledge about and in my misguided way think that TJ could actually learn something. You’ll find plenty of TJ threads that I stay away from, simply because they bore me.

and the original comment.

As opne who has locked horns with TJ on more than one occasion, I don’t consider him a bully. Tiresom and rather amusing, yes, but a bully?

Mis-represent might be better than mis-quote even though you cut half of the sentence and provide no context, but hey WGAF? Not me.

chakaping – Member
Woppit – i think you are dead right, he couldn’t help it. where you say personality quirk i say disorder though.

That was me being sensitive.

Fundamentally to be ‘bullied’ by somebody you have to first acknowledge some superiority about them that you are fearful of.

Now ffs this is the internet, you can turn it off, walk away, do something else.

TJ couldn’t bully the skin of a rice pudding, virtual or otherwise, he can be painful, but to me his greatest crime? He rarely makes folk laugh, I like a chuckle now and again, this place was always sold as a place with great humorous asides and tbh they are very rare, maybe in some previous time there were more instances.

How any of you could view any of the others on here as in some way superior is beyond me, it seems a place of equals, theoretically like minds, the only bullying going on is as I’ve previously described and they run the place so it’s put up or shut up imv, don’t go getting all scent of blood and try and nail the other pain.

Uncle Jezza isn’t a bully. He just gets confused. He’ll post some forthright opinion or other, then he’ll root around for another Werthers Original, his nurse gives him his medication and empties his bag, and by the time that’s all done he’s forgotten what he posted, so posts the same point again

Lol, now that made me laugh 🙂

I reckon most people who have worked in a fairly ‘robust’ or ‘male’ environment ‘get’ the humour and banter that goes on here, and don’t take things to heart. The rest are Southerners 😀

It goes without saying that we’re going to get ribbed when we’re talking cobblers, and it only stops when you admit you were wrong, if you continue to deny being wrong in the face of all the evidence, then you’re going to get everything thats coming to you really…

Most here are able to take the rough with the smooth, they give as good as they get and can take what they are doling out – the minority that can’t, the ‘sensitive’ types who get offended at everything and nothing, seem to be the ones who its most fun to wind up 😉

TJ couldn’t bully the skin of a rice pudding, virtual or otherwise, he can be painful, but to me his greatest crime? He rarely makes folk laugh

Can I refer you to the RealMan Karma link, comedy genius from the Tandem riding one

I don’t get his humour at all and to a certain extent I think he ruins the forum.

The tweet thing is pathetic, he’s a sad little attention whore who needs to have a word with himself.

Oh, and London is rubbish…..

TJ assumes his adversaries to be thick and devoid of any expertise in the subject being discussed. His problem is that there are so many people on STW that at least one of his adversaries generally knows exactly what he/she’s talking about, has a wealth of experieince and it’s not long before TJ is on the ropes, in the corner and taking a beating, but won’t throw in the towel. Bully? No, masochist, yes.

London wages aren’t though… (jealous northerner)

The fact that he’s deleted his tweets is even more pathetic.

So you’re the big man until threatened with legal action? Or just not man enough to stand by your original posts? What about all the emails you’ve sent to people being nasty? Are you going to recall all off them?

As for bullying, I think if you’re a 12 year old at school – on line abuse is pretty similar to playground insults and nastiness. I think if you’re an adult you need to MTFU and either not go on forums, or just turn your laptop off.

you do belittle people who don’t agree with you, quite a lot – accusing them of naivety and so on. That to my mind is a form of bullying others. is an understandable conclusion.

But there’s no badness in TJ, and I think there would be if he was a genuine bully.

The correct term for TJ is a gobshite 😉

TJ – As much as some of his posts boil my piss, he never seems offensive or certainly not in the posts I’ve seen. Yes he always has the last word but I just put that down to him being old…all old folk are like that.

Elfin on the other hand is a vile individual…

I’ve said it before about TJ – he gets grief out of all proportion to what he’s actually said. I was saying much the same thing as him on the thread about wealth last week, but people chose to focus on one word he used that I didn’t (describing people on £40k plus as “elite”). Obviously, no-one was interested in the substance of his point…

Aye so did i and all you had to do was keep labourng th point that mopr emoney did indeed make you better off thasn less money – the elite comment did not help and peopel use one little slip to attack as they knwo whe wont retract therefore making the thread about that than about the thread

to be ‘bullied’ by somebody you have to first acknowledge some superiority about them that you are fearful of.

He rarely makes folk laugh

not everyone is funny as you prove most posts 😉

People take this forum too seriously.

Hey..

If what you’re now all doing to him (TJ) aint what you’re complaining about ffs lighten up eh?

And the little guy want to give him another kick now he’s on the floor?

Junkyard – Member

not everyone is funny as you prove most posts

Exactly my point.. mods have done that to me, I bore myself now, whereas unleashed, unrestricted in a mod free environment, I have been known to crack myself up, tears streaming down my gorgeous cheeks (face cheeks in case you wondered) at comic riposte unfortunately at someone like our recent departed friends expense.

But sadly you’ll never know that now…

fwiw i quite like fred/elf, i may not agree with everything he says or how he says it but hes not afraid to say what he thinks

although sending nasty emails is just wrong

didnt he get a load of abuse in the tags on the questionable breaks thread? tags are a very cowardly way to bully people imho
fred doesnt hide behind anything (other than his keyboard)

The fact that he’s deleted his tweets is even more pathetic.

So you’re the big man until threatened with legal action? Or just not man enough to stand by your original posts?

i dont think its unreasonable he deleted offensive posting at all

infact its a sign he knew hed done something wrong

(i also think surfmat was bullied but i still found it funny as he did say come across like a muppet)

Really? I don’t see an apology anywhere on there? What’s happened is that he’s posted something that could drop him in hot water and he’s bobbed himself and deleted everything.

Oh, and London is rubbish…..

You ony fink thayt ’cause your from somewhere little. 🙄

People from little playces are always overwhelmed by the Greatest City on Earth so they try to overcompensayt fer it, innit? 😆

I’m always right so let’s just move on, shall we? 😛 😈 😯