I'm Furious! (Nursery content)

I’ve been told tonight by the Nursery my 2.5yo has been withheld her pudding, as a punishment for refusing to help tidy up. I don’t believe they have the moral right to withhold food where available from a growing child. Or am I overreacting?

But that’s my first point. The second is that said daughter has an as yet undiagnosed liver/low blood sugar issue which they are aware of, and keeping her hungry aka blood sugars low can send her into seizure in the worse case. So im doubly furious!

Am I right?

No it was pudding she had her main ,wont starve and its no more than many parents would do at home

Were the nursery aware of this medical issue ? If so then v. naughty of them! If not then v. naughty of you 🙂

If you don’t like it, reign in your middleclassness and get mrs kryton to stay at home to look after them.
Especially with a medical condition 🙄

Just sayin

Is there an agreed ‘schedule’ of punishments?

Sounds like someone said ‘tidy up or no pudding’ on the spur of a moment and had their bluff called.

Surprised they have pudding.

You could try teaching your child to tidy up.

Is there an agreed ‘schedule’ of punishments?

Sounds like someone said ‘tidy up or no pudding’ on the spur of a moment and had their bluff called.

^ +1

Discipline should be outlined to you and stuck to.

I would be furious that my kid refused to help tidy up. Manners maketh the man n all that.

Life’s too short to get annoyed over something so trivial. It’s pudding, a treat and not a necessity.

If in 20 years she still harbours anger and resentment over the matter I’d burn the place down. Play the long game.

Get yourself over to AIBU. Mumsnet will have several opinions for you to choose from.

Depends on the pudding.

Sticky toffee pudding i’d be running around cracking skulls, fruit salad i’d not bat an eyelid.

I’m with the OP a 2.5yr old child should not be denied food as a punishment.

Depends on the pudding.

Sticky toffee pudding i’d be running around cracking skulls, fruit salad i’d not bat an eyelid.

True that. Cheese cake would be a cardinal sin in my book.

If in 20 years she still harbours anger and resentment over the matter I’d burn the place down. Play the long game.

Brilliant!

Sort your kids out.

Next it’ll be suspended from school.

Then locked up in prison.

Thank the nursery for doing your job with discipline.

Phone the police.

Jesus Christ, how judgemental.

Yes they are aware of the condition and have even been given and emergency pack / taught the procedure should they need it. For the record, both my kids are brought up with manners an politeness, which regularly gets commented on at Nursery / School as an outstanding asset of thier personalitys. Tidying up, and helping with chores in other ways is a regular part of thier upbringing thanks very much.

And yes, ey usually and agree with the parents the timeout concept as punishments.

That said, she’s 2 for **** sake, strops happen to 2yo’s.

irc – Food should never be wit held as a punishment i.e. Dinner, but a pudding is a treat.

You can’t have pudding if x y z was the standard threat/punishment when I was growing up.

Along the same lines as sport/exercise should not be used as a punishment, but not being allowed to play/do because you have been a little sh1t should be.

Was pudding after a meal or just a standalone? If it was after a meal, she wasn’t left to go hungry. And if it was a standalone, if she would go hungry without it, why the hell were they giving the kids pudding? They need actual food.

2?

She should be applying to Uni by now.

http://www.echr.coe.int/Pages/home.aspx?p=applicants

I’d have thought it was a good lesson. Pudding is a treat, if you don’t do as you’re told, no treat.

If there’s going to be consequence for her actions, then what would you have preferred she was denied? Story time, playing outside or something else entirely? Or do you not think it’s the nursery’s job to discipline?

Not saying you’re right or wrong, just curious.

EDIT: just read your other post, see you prefer time out. I suppose it depends what was said to your daughter first then. Not sure it’s worth being furious about, just tell nursery how you want it to work. If they don’t agree, choose a different nursery.

Jesus Christ, how judgemental.

she’s 2 for **** sake, strops happen to 2yo’s

Not just 2 yo’s, eh?. No pudding for you.

It was maybe not the best idea from the nursery but being “furious” seems like an over reaction. Maybe a quiet word with the manager?

Think you’ve got this just a smidge out of proportion. She got fed, hence no danger. It’s natural to be defensive when your kids have been punished, particularly if it is in a way that you wouldn’t do yourself. But soon (very soon and quicker than you think is possible) Kryton Jr. will have to start learning to play by others rules. She’s probably learned something today. Ask yourself if you’ll still be this angry in a week?

That said, she’s 2 for **** sake, strops happen to 2yo’s.

Yep, and with a little appropriate discipline while they are young, like say not letting them eat pudding, then they won’t still be throwing strops when they are 40.

You posted this ‘does it really matter’ bollocks on the internet for people to make a judgement and then whine about people being judgemental. Are you sure?

“My child has a medical condition and could have …..insert something….because she didn’t get her pudding for being a bit of an arse as very young people are liable to be”.

They hardly kept her hungry though, did they?

If she whined half as much as you, I’d be expecting a conversation with the nursery very soon inviting you to find another nursery.

As an aside, I can’t get my head round this bit…..

said daughter has an as yet undiagnosed liver/low blood sugar issue which they are aware of, and keeping her hungry aka blood sugars low can send her into seizure in the worse case.

How can it be undiagnosed yet the worst-case scenario be known? Has she had a seizure before?

Or am I overreacting?

Yes.

Am I right?

No.

Actually I am impressed that a nursery took a stand like this. I have an eight year old and many of her peers were completely undisciplined and self centred when they started school. After four years of school many still are and the standard of education for all the kids has suffered as a result.

As long as the discipline was fair and proportional then I think it is a good thing.

Has the little prncess ever had a seizure due to not having a pudding? Or even had a seizure for that matter?

FWIW the nursery that I sent my kids to wouldn’t have accepted them if they were as medically unstable as you say yours is.

Sorry, I think you’re over reacting. From the way you tell it, they didn’t deny your daughter sustenance, they with held a treat while trying to her a valuable lesson.

She was fed, she was safe, and the nursery subsitutes for the role of parents while you’re unavailable.

Did you react when you went to collect your daughter or did you keep a poker face? Do you need to apologise tomorrow?

As a father of a child in nursery I must say I side with the majority in this .
A they did not withhold food they with held an unnecessary treat.
B they did not keep her hungry if your nursery has pudding as the significant source of nutrition you did a poor job in selecting it.
C getting doubly furious over your child receiving a very mild consequence for poor behavior is a bit hysterical and if you have allowed your child to pick up on any of this you need to have a good think about the message you are sending.
D nursery’s can’t have special punishments for individual children it does not work for lots of reasons .
E ffs apologise to the nursery if you have expressed any of this to them have a rational word with your kid to reenforce the very good lesson that you tidy up when told to and if you don’t listen and do as you are told you don’t get treats.

I’d have taken them straight out of Nursery, put my foot through the door and sent them the bill.

It’s Dessert FFS 👿

Is it a good idea to give pudding to children with blood sugar issues? (I’m not being judgemental – it’s a genuine question).

When a child in your care has a serious medical issue related to food intake/sugar levels then it’s stupid to use withdrawal of food as a punishment IMO. Would they do the same to a diabetic child ?

Put the child on the naughty step or something.

Am I right?

Sounds like you’re asking for people to share their judgement on this issue…

Jesus Christ, how judgemental.

What was the question again?

I think this deserves another airing, as it’s so good:

If she whined half as much as you, I’d be expecting a conversation with the nursery very soon inviting you to find another nursery.

Cobblers. She clearly needed to be torte a lesson. Perhaps she’ll turnover a new leaf after this.

When a child in your care has a serious medical issue related to food intake/sugar levels then it’s stupid to use withdrawal of food as a punishment IMO. Would they do the same to a diabetic child ?

not sure I buy that argument as unless the food was carefully planned according to the childs needs then it should not have a bearing. What if the child decided it didn’t want pudding?

Now to refuse a significant amount of food or to force a high intake of sugar if a condition exists then yes, very wrong.

the pudding should not be making up a significant enough part of the nutritional intake and should be balanced itself as to no be like eating a bowl of sugar.

But I do not agree with withholding food as punishment in this case. Food related behavioural problems can arise and be very difficult to remedy.