I think I'm about to be diagnosed with cancer, and I'm fairly scared.

Your Dad has taken this news badly. He has to realise that you need to save all your energy and time (as you said yourself) on you.
I stress it is not being selfish.

Pick out the friends that you can be honest with, do not be frightened of crying or having a hissy fit. Just do whatever you have to, to get yourself through this. The rest will fall into place.

My thoughts are with you and Meg. xx

Strength and courage.

Hi Mark, Rich again,

One thing you can't worry about is how your mood will be interpreted by others. Your father will soon realise that it is you who has the gun to the head not him. I know it is hard, and during treatment I was always wondering whether I should be aplogising if I got stressed or wanted to smash the container with the days 40+ pills etc. It is hard enough trying to cope with your own feelings let alone being too carefull with everyone elses. Obviously, this has it's limit, I hope I wasn't a constant pain in the arse during the whole episode and all my family and friends said that I remained remarkably strong and upbeat most of the time, and from what I can tell (I know I don't know you at all) you seem to be ready for the fight and taking it in good spirits. I cannot tell you how much it helps to remain positive. Sometimes people who say things like that make it sound overly spiritual or whatever, but I simply mean that it really helped me to feel physically stronger and able to cope with the treatment if I was able to keep positive in all other areas of my life, making sure I still had a lot of fun with friends etc etc…

I like to think I was a fairly likable chap before my diagnosis, but I know for a fact that after it was all over, I was a lot more rounded as an individual. I don't stress over minor things any more, I find it much easier to relax and appreciate everything that I have, material or otherwise. I value all my relationships more, I am still rubbish at keeping in touch with all my friends, but much better than I was!

Life now just seems much simpler. I have even had comments from new people I have met at parties or out in town saying to friends of mine "is that guy some sort of Buddha or something? – He's so chilled and calm and really listens when you talk to him"!! – Not trying to blow my own trumpet here…just wanted to show how despite having a similarly bleak position as yours (Mets on my lungs and secondary tumors all over the place…) I came out the other side, and truly believe I am a better person because of it.

There, hope that didn't sound too "alternative therapy" for you, just wanted to let you know a little of what it's like when you get to the other side, and I for one am positive you can do it…..smash that f**cker into the ground!

All the best Mark,

Rich

Your fighting spirit is inspiring. Wish you all the best, keep fighting.

I d like to wish you and Megan the very best of luck with this.
Please stay positive!
Best wishes
Lee

Keep fighting both of you.

Remember that being strong isn't about being strong and in control all of the time, it's about rolling with the punches that sometimes seem like they're going to knock you down, crying and screaming and then picking yourself up and fighting the next battle.

And remember this forum full of argumentative geeks is right behind you!

The posts on here have been amazing! Just to give some more hope, My lovely Aunt who is only 43 got diagnosed with advanced bowel cancer last year. We all cried and asked why? how? WTF? It all looked pretty bleak and she had a terrible reaction to Chemo including a heart attack and treatment was abandoned. Things got pretty desperate…
3 days ago she got the all clear, amazing, she had a bit of surgery to remove stuff and rejoin things and lots of prayer and love. They thought she had a secondary, turned out not so. you will prevail over this.
Much Love x

Thoughts and prayers are with you all anyone can say is good luck and think positive.

slightly speechless.

i hope you receive the treatment to help you get better and i agree that a positive mind is the best medicine avainable to you.

my thoughts are with you both. your old man will come round. he's probably in shock, like the rest of us.

take care, take it easy and think of the good things in life.

Jay.

Sorry to hear the diagnosis was positive,and that is what you need to be.I think its good you are so fit and healthy as you will need this strength for the future,your cancer will take most of it out of you,You must eat and try to keep fit.
you are obviously strong minded,this is another major swing in you're favour.

My father beat Hodgkins lymphoma,this is possibly the worst kind ,my family believes it was his sheer bloody mindedness helped him through more than anything,he is 67 and beat it when he was 61,and i wouldnt say he was that fit.
Not as fit as a mad mountain biking PE teacher 😆

Your Fathers reaction is very understandable,but you must force the issue and go and make contact,you do not want to have anything going on in the background,as you will need to stay focused.
Best of luck

loads of people handle the news in different ways. my mum had breast cancer so felt guilty and thought (completely illogically) that she'd passed it on to me. i know i have man boobs but thats a bit harsh. someone else i know of his wife didn't speak about the cancer at all all the way through his treatment!
dyna ti is right as in you don't need extra sh*t to carry around emotionally. try talking to your dad, if it doesn't work put that part of life on pause (as with so much more) and pick it up after the journey. you may not have the emotional energy, keep your love and smiles for meg. she'll be the one that is there when you feel cr*p, when you're knackered, when you're struggling. make sure you tell her how much you love her and keep some smiles and laughter for her, she'll deserve it the most.

I'm a surly, self-righteous, cocky difficult bastard.

STW definitely needs you then – don't let us down!

Mark,

I lost my dad last week to cancer so like many on here, know how your family is feeling at being told that someone they love has this disease. He was diagnosed with terminal cancer and was given 3 months. That was 5 1/2 years ago.

You get your head round this and you fight it. I know its hard to do but grab it by the horns and give it what for. Your family will be there for you, rows and all because your you and they love you for it.

"I'm a surly, self-righteous, cocky difficult bastard" then you sound like the right kind of person to beat this.

Keep positive and fight it.

Skippy x

Mark,

just read your update from yesterday sad indeed but your attitude is good wishing the best of luck with this and thinking of you and your family. Without trying to be morbid you also have to look at all the good things that's you've done in your life and never have no regrets, when you through this do as many as the things you've always wanted to do and live life full.

Lee

Mark,
To say your not a nice guy seems far from the truth. The fact you hold your family in greater regard than yourself shows what a truly sterling bloke you are.

With your positive attitude and a great family around you I'm sure you'll be ripping the trails sooner than you think!

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Live life to the full!

Ben

Just thought I'd chip in with a little advice…during your treatment, however bad you feel and whatever the doctors prognosis is, get out and about and do stuff you enjoy as much as possible, whenever you can. After seeing a family member go through cancer and its treatment/medication, it was obvious that her love of horses and competing kept her positive, stronger and healthier than if she had stayed in bed/watched TV all day. Don't get me wrong, she had bad patches where she didn't have a choice but stay indoors, but on the whole she'd get out as much as possible, spending all day with her horses even if it did mean crashing out and catching a few winks on the straw in a stable every now and then!

Thoughts are with you…keep that positive attitude 🙂

Mark & Meg, Strength, courage & love to you both.

My thoughts are with you both in the north of england,remember the Lake District is a wonderfull place to reflect on the past,the present,and the future.

Its been said lots of times before,but riding is what we all have in common,and theres always plenty of people to show you what mountainbiking up here has to offer.

I find anything that concentrates the mind has a hudge benefit to Illness,and wellbeing.

I'm not even that likable a chap; really! I'm a surly, self-righteous, cocky difficult bastard.

You're a PE teacher, don't be too hard on yourself – you're all like it. 😉

It is impossible to imagine how I would deal with the news you have recieved. I guess there are things you can affect and things you can't; as I hope I would you are focussing on what you can affect.

I have no reason to believe we have met however in the, albeit unlikely, event there is anything I could do to help do not hesitate to get in touch.

My thoughts are with you both.

petesgaff – Member

Many of you have commented on my strength, and how amazingly I seem to be coping. Don't believe it – I'm a bloody chartlatan. My problem is that, if I don't believe that I'm going to get better, I'm not sure I will.

Just get on with your life – go for walks, ride a bike, visits friends, etc, etc. Because even completely healthy people will succumb to ill-health and go into a downward spiral if they 'give up' on life. And that btw, is true even of animals. A strong positive attitude, contributes to a strong positive immune system !

But I guess the best way forward now in this respect is, if you haven't already done it, to get in touch with Macmillan. They will provide you with the advise, and you can pay them back with sponsored bike rides !

I have been reading this thread over the last few days and really feel for you. You will get things sorted with your Dad he is coming to terms with the news and he is scared.
You will find out who your real friends are in this situation and if anyone offers help take up that offer. Cancer isn't something I would wish on my own worse enemy after seeing what my daughter has been through and even though our outcome is not going to have a happy ending remember that the cure rates are much better than they were a few years ago and keep a positive attitude. You sound like a strong person and very determined which will stand you in good stead.
Good luck

Hi guys and gals,

Great day! They've finally let me home after the completion of all the relevant tests needed to detirmine what type of cancers I have. This has been a major step forward in my own personal mental health; the hospital was doing my tits in, and I simply couldn't have faced another night in there.

The day started brightly with a visit from my friendly gastroenderologist; very pleasant fellow, medium height and build, mid 30's, HANDS LIKE A CLOWN! Honestly, it looked like he'd had a yeti's paws transplanted on! When he asked me to bend over, I thought the end had come….

He politely explained to me that the prostate was bigger than it should be, but not to rule out other issues such as lymphoma, etc. That was okay, as at least they've started to put titles onto what the issues are. It makes it much more easy for both Meg and I to accept the problems if they have a name.

Next came a meeting with the haemotologist, who proceded to take a sample of bone marrow from my pelvis. That was quite an eye-opener; I like to think I'm pretty good with pain, but howled like a small child at the result of that one!

However, we're back at home now. My dog is on the sofa beside me, Meg is upstairs on the phone asking some friends of ours in my beloved Yorkshire if we can crash for a couple of nights next week, and I'm feeling calm and content. I wouldn't be in this position if it wasn't for the sound advice and best wishes sent this way via your posts. Both Meg and I feel incredibly priviledged to have so many people looking out for us.

Thanks guys,

M&M

Best of luck, you have got a pretty good attitude to the whole thing which is half the battle and you still have your sense of humour.
Keep fighting.
Mark

Sods law aint it always the doctor with the clowns hands that wants to mess with your arse!
Good to read that your depression has lifted and that you are now feeling that 'positive attitude' Hope you have a nice break and if you can get out whilst your away and turn them pedals over do it. Nothing like a bit of fresh air and dirt.
As for the stubborn reference to yourself, you really should read Lances book you will realise just what a SofAB he is. Lets face it the majority of us that bugger off for hours on end in nice parts of the country (and abroad) riding with our buddies leaving our other halfs even when we know there is DIY/other dull tasks are all selfish. (Although I prefer to keep using the 'but dear you need the rest' or 'You can do some girly stuff')
As for your old man, natural reaction from him, as someone else said go see him he may have calmed down and reflected and if he is still angry leave the ball in his court and get on with life.
One final monetary issue that a couple of cancer sufferers with poor prognosis failed to latch on to was, if you are paying critical illness policy payments-get yourself in their and claim, that way you will get your motgage paid off so when you are better (dont let the insurance know that you have plans to beat this thing or they will try and renege) you will have no mortgage worries and can then get a nice upgrade on the ride front!
Stay strong
Suggsey

We only put on those clown hands when we have to go near someones arse…. My how we laugh about it in the doctors mess afterwards 😆 😆 😉

Seriously though, good luck, best wishes and if you want any medical speak gobbldegook translating into plain english then drop me a line: address in profile.

Steve

a humbling thread.

makes me smile. the human race isn't all bad after all…..

keep posting, mark

J

Just read through this thread again, a roller coaster of emotion, keep fighting both of you and keep posting.

Firstly i can only wish you all the best and hope that you kick its arse. Your positive demeanour and words have put my , frankly, tiny issue in context so thanks for that.

And those clown hands. Too true, I had prostatitis last year and at one point i though there was a never ending queue of medical professionals wanting to insert the contents of their metal trays up my arse.

Again, stay positive.

Mark, I didn’t have to go thru anything near what you’re sounding like your facing, but I was diagnosed with prostate cancer three years ago ( all clear now !! ) but I did have to go thru three separate sets of biopsies before the doc stuck gold ( so to speak ).

Then came the decisions trying to find a surgeon.. there was a while there where “ok mr lynch please drop your trousers and bend over” became an all too common greeting. ( and that was just down the pub.)

And I don’t even want to remember the nurse pointing to the stirrups during one office visit. “stirrups, but I don’t see no pony!!!”

Again, best of luck to you, keep that humour, and hold on to the love around you.

Cheers,
Greg

Best of luck to you and your loved ones. My thoughts and best wishes are with you.

Wishing you all the strength necessary to fight this and prevail.

Healing vibes!

B.

Glad to hear postive thoughts keep up the hard work best wishes and prayers are still with you for your journey.

Glad you're home, that's got to help with the PMA.

Good luck there fella.

It's nice that you have diverted your own thread from one of dread and fear to hope and having a man with comedy hands rooting around in your arse.

Beat this bastard… and the next time you meet Dr. Clown Hands it will be to shake them.

having a man with comedy hands rooting around in your arse.

Every man's dream, surely??

**** bastard double posting.

**** bastard double posting.

Early morning Tourette's?

Mark & Meg – I thought of yopu today as I was listening to some idiotic ranting on Radio 5 this morning. No, you're not idiotic, nor are you ranting: I was touched by the open and honest bravery of both you.

It brought to mind this excerpt from the St Crispin's Day speech given by King Harry in Shakespeare's Henry V just before the battle of Agincourt:

That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse;
We would not die in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.
This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian.'
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispian's day.'
Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember, with advantages,
What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household words-
Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,
Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester-
Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.
This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

I keep returning to read this thread and am astounded by peoples kind words and support. I just wanted to add another voice to say Mark and Meg, good luck to you both in fighting off this horrible disease.

So sorry to hear your news M&M you will be in my prayers today. Keep fighting lad, you'll nail it.

Make sure you both keep a positive mind no matter how hard it gets!!!

My wife had ovarian cancer nearly 5 years ago,we both kept a positive mind throughout the whole thing and believe me it does help a lot. She has been clear for nearly 4 years now and it has made her a stronger person.
Best wishes to you both,I am sure you will come through it all,no problem

Karl & Janine

ourmaninthenorth, my grandad gave that speech to his troops at El Alamein on St Crispin's Day (25th of October). 'swhere I got my name.

Mark and Meg, my thoughts are with you.

All the best.