Help to bugger up Fair Fuel UK’s annual cycling hate survey.

Done too – enjoyed that! I have a second email address so might so it again adding in @thepurist’s point about Highway code updates

“SHOULD HAULAGE & LOGISTICS SERVICES BE SUBJECT TO LOWER LEVELS OF FUEL DUTY

The commercial heartbeat of any economy is its network of distribution. An average haulier can spend 50% of its income on fuel costs. the Majority of which is tax. Lowering fuel duty here would help lower inflation and the cost of products we buy.. What do you think?”

You’d never guess the Road Haulage Association were behind “Fair Fuel” would you??

As it doesn’t verify email addresses or have the “I’m not a robot” capthca thingy, can some talented person please write some code to fill it in 25000 times with overwhelmingly positive things to say about bikes & EVs?

Done, this howard cocks is a proper bell end

That was excellent. We should do more of this

FROM RECENT MEDIA REPORTS, UNELECTED SPECIAL ADVISORS IN NO 10 ARE INFLUENCING THE ROLL OUT OF CYCLE LANES. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS*

“That’s how Parliament works”?

Honestly don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed filling out a survey more!

Done; enjoyed that

Done.
I’m glad to read other people saying it was badly written, i thought it was just me who found it difficult to read.

As someone whose job is actual surveys, I’m appalled that this will apparently be distributed to all MPs. How does this drivel get traction but my properly designed and fairly impartial surveys not??

Done. Enjoyed that, the comments section was particularly enjoyable.

A BBC question? Surprised I wasn’t asked if I thought we had too many immigrants in the country.

Done – I particularly liked the opportunity to recommend the return of the death penalty for poor driving 😂

done

Done. Almost funny, then you realise it’s not a GCSE question on how not to design a survey.

Done, he’s going to have a lot to read from me! So easy to see it was written so as to make you agree with their point of view.

you don’t even need to put in a real email address (unless they get filtered out later). Anyway, I’m sure my responses as a person who drives a 20+ year old hybrid diesel disability scooter who plans to cycle everywhere will add valuable insight

That’s genuinely amazing. WHAT DO YOU THINK.

A) POPPIES
B) THE SPITFIRE
C) PRINCESS DIANA

Honestly astonished by the way that was put together!

My favourite question:
WILL YOU VOTE FOR THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY AT THE NEXT GENERAL ELECTION

o Yes, only if they are still the best choice

Done, some of the wording is pretty poor. They may as well complete the answer for you with how the question is worded.

you don’t even need to put in a real email address (unless they get filtered out later).

It looks like they do track your IP address though. Completed so far on work PC and phone, still got Macbook, Ipad (x2) and wifes phone and three kids phones to go!

As someone whose job is actual surveys, I’m appalled that this will apparently be distributed to all MPs. How does this drivel get traction but my properly designed and fairly impartial surveys not??

I think that you’ve answered your own question there.

Done. Anyone else want a copy of the daily express?

It looks like they do track your IP address though. Completed so far on work PC and phone, still got Macbook, Ipad (x2) and wifes phone and three kids phones to go!

That’s my evening all planned out then! 😂

Done 🙂

Done – that was fun, more more!

Done, can this also be posted in the Bike Forum so no-one misses out on the fun!

you don’t even need to put in a real email address (unless they get filtered out later)

You won’t believe what boris.johnson@gov.uk replied.

Done

Done. What a twonk.

I’ve just Googled Mr Cocks. He looks exactly as I would have expected right down to his Faragian dress sense.

EDIT

Don’t actually Google Mr Cocks. Go with Mr Cox as it less likely to cost you your job.

Excellent idea OP – done

FROM RECENT MEDIA REPORTS, UNELECTED SPECIAL ADVISORS IN NO 10 ARE INFLUENCING THE ROLL OUT OF CYCLE LANES. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS*

My word, just as well they must only be using “special advisors” on this subject and nothing else, at all, ever

Can we have elected special advisors on everything, please? Every day’s a polling day..

And yes, that was fun. Going back to read the comments now.

Done, thanks for sharing.

The most poorly put together survey I have ever encountered. A real achievement in stupidity. It’s like it emerged from the Daily Mail hive mind.

(the bastards, I once saw a cyclist hooligan club a kitten to death with his bike pump etc….)

You think that’s bad – I once saw a cyclist pumping a kitten!

done!

Brilliant. Done.

Though not sure it wasn’t just written by an alt-right bot that’s escaped from some computer science student’s project.

**** me. As a researcher that was genuinely painful to go through. I’d be frankly embarrassed if I were responsible for this.

WHY WAS IT ALL WRITTEN IN CAPITALS?
Why was there so much bias in how the questions were asked?
Under what circumstances, ever, is ‘none of your business’ an acceptable answer in a survey.
Why are they asking about your political standpoint when the survey is positioned to be purely about fuel etc?
Why wasn’t the list of answers always comprehensive enough for the question asked?

I’m sharing this with my company so we can all have a good laugh at this toss pot

Hilarious, and worrying. I completed the survey with accuracy and fair reflection.

Done. Didn’t have any time to flower it up but my rule of thumb was ‘what does this plonker least want me to select?’

Lovely jubbly.