Celibacy……….

Cg if they're "real" men they'll be riding 24 inchers,but they'll think they are 29ers.
Ian

Keva I know how you feel but on the other hand life styles change and as has been said by a number of people in this thread, some perfectly normal/lovely people suddenly find their social life and ability to meet new people drops to zero, despite their best efforts. Interet dating can help and isn't something to feel ashamed of, but it does work a little differntly to meeting someone 'naturally' and that can mean it doesn't work for everyone.
Oddly the people that have found an internet dating site helpful are all strong supporters, those that don't succeed have a differnt view – some just hate it/see it as awful while others just find it doesn't work for them. My mate met one girl thorugh MySingleFriend and married her, obviously he thinks it's brilliant, however it is almost like he cannot comprehend how it could not work the same for me, he is totally baffled!

Internet dating is only good if you're a) of a certain age (i.e. mid-30's+); and b) good looking or c) funny. Being none of the above, I find it depressing and demoralising and its cheaper to window browse in a pub tbh…

kit, i'm 2 of the above (a and c) and i'm not convinced of the merits yet. not writing it off either though… but it's definitely demoralising when you get knocked back purely on the basis of looks (and that happens A LOT).

The 29er guys just seem to think they're a breed apart. I have ridden with a few and they are cool but collectively … shudder!

Don't put yourself down Kit, the best girls appreciate a kind heart, positive sense of hunmour and respect more than looks.

Thats how i got mine. heh.

Mountain bikers have personality … FACT!

People have been spoonfed on a diet of trash TV with airbrushed/shallow people.

As mark says, don't put yourself down and start to feel good about yourself. Positive thinking is the key.

Oi Kit! except when you're sporting a stupid "moustache" you're not bad looking and I've found you quite funny. You must know full well that if you're not positive about yourself no one else is likely to be either!

Well said simon!

I'd do him.

*shucks*

😳

Sure personality is the most improtant thing, but you have to get to meet someone to start finding out if you like each others personality and as xerbivorex and seems to be alluding to, in the absence of anything else even nice girls go purely on looks initally. Don't forget, these sites have literally thousands of people on them so no-one bothers to study profiles for long or too talk to loads and loads of people before deciding who to meet – the process pretty much forces window shopping and rushing to meet on the basis of 'he/she looks cute'. So if you don't have a good photo of yourself you never get to that stage. I find myself actively pursuing the dating site in stints as it gets depressing being knocked back constantly. In my last stint in december I approached about 45 girls over 15 days and didn't manage to start a single converasation, not one replied to me. Being honest with myself I may not be brad pitt but my friends tell me I'm 'A good looking guy', but obviously I didn't appeal to the girls I'd messaged. That sort of failure rate is a bit depressing. However a previous stint went a little better and led to some nice dates, so I've not given up on the process quite yet.

neilnevill – almost my exact experience! Having said that, my very first date through a dating site ended with an 18 month relationship, and I could have been very happy long-term if I hadn't had so many hang-ups at the time.

Rohypnol is the way forward.

I've been with a girl for almost 6 years, engaged since March last, and living together in rented accomodation since September. She's a great girl, but I'm not attracted to her anymore.

Relationship over? Sex is non-existant, and I usually have a high sex drive. I'm on AD's too, have been for about 2 years.

that's why meeting people in the flesh is much better, you know straight away or at least after spending a short time with them you know if they're your cup of tea.

She's a great girl, but I'm not attracted to her anymore.

why are you still together?

Well, she's my best mate, but I guess that isn't grounds for a relationship. And how I deal with it all, I don't know. I know I'd be causing a world of hurt and pain for her.

Ummmm, I totally understand where you're coming from. Perhaps just having the 'how do you feel' chat might help, sometimes people are thinking the same thing but are afraid to ask for fear of the answer…….

Are you guys still gagging for it?

😆

aleigh – Member
that's why meeting people in the flesh is much better, you know straight away or at least after spending a short time with them you know if they're your cup of tea.

exactly. In my experience you get no idea for someone via an internet profile or exchanging a few messages, it's only when you meet that you see if there is any chemistry but then you know in minutes. But if you are at a stage in your social life where you don't meet any/many new people you have to try something different. Personally I don't like the idea of taking up a new interest/activity specifcally to try and meet some new people as I'd not be that interested in the activity and that would come across. I am happy to try the intenet dating route to meeting people, its a drag, its not easy but I'm giving it a try for a short while.

If a SingletrackWorld Singletonworld ride went ahead close to London then I'd go. For it to have a reasonable chance of being a pleasant expereince allround I think a little organisation wold be needed along with something approaching an equal boy/girl ratio …. and that is probably where we find a problem?

Another option for the singleton's is some of the team rides / races. Advertise on here for some mixed teams for Bontrager 12/24 / SITS / MM. Spend the weekend together but opportunity to make yourself scarce as well. Just don't be too competitive!

Interesting thread, this. Not contributed up 'til now, as I've been reading it in dribs and drabs while doing other stuff. Totally agree with many comments about how difficult it is to meet singles of the opposite/same sex, (delete as appropriate), as this is a situation I've been in for years now. While I never have difficulty in chatting to people, I never really hang out at the sort of places where single men are supposed to meet other singles, and the few occasions where I've met someone who I've hit it off with have then admitted they're still having feelings for an ex, and are trying to re-establish things, even when, in one instance, the ex has said he's really not interested. Most disheartening, when the ladies in question are really lovely people. I'm not interested in the whole Internet dating thing, for reasons that have been already stated. A singles ride would be interesting, but a problem would always be that I could end up meeting someone from miles away that would involve extensive and expensive commuting back and forth, which can get tiresome.
Also, there's that inevitable set-in-yer-ways thing as you get older of being able to just do what you want when you want, which is pretty selfish. Doesn't help with cuddles and hugs and a fairly strong sex drive, tho'
Dammit. 🙁

Sex is non-existant, and I usually have a high sex drive. I'm on AD's too, have been for about 2 years.

ADs may take out libido 🙁

Xipe Totec – Member
A singles ride would be interesting, but a problem would always be that I could end up meeting someone from miles away that would involve extensive and expensive commuting back and forth, which can get tiresome.

Yes good point, well made. I've done the long distance relationship but at the time I suspected I would be moving (and did) which would have me in the same city – it did before it tiresome. However I don't think I'd want to start a long distance relationship right now.

OKAY THEN. Are there any single girls and guys that are London based and fancy trying a group ride to meet some other people?

I apologise for my naivety (I guess caused by having been in a relationship) but with all the communication aides available today, it's quite extraordinary to read of your experiences.

So why is this?

So is the problem that people just aren't really honest about whether they want a relationship or is it that they are fearful of being rejected?

Internet dating is only good if you're a) of a certain age (i.e. mid-30's+); and b) good looking or c) funny.

Totally disagree on age. I know of several successes for mid/late-20s people of both sexes, me included! Being amazingly good looking or funny are not pre-requisites, but confidence and resilience are.

My first rejection was really upsetting but it got easier very quickly. After a short while it was a blast, and I wish I'd done it sooner.

cinnamon-girl….for me its just not meeting that special person. Not meeting many new people full stop at the moment and my work is mainly men, mtbing is mainly men, climbing is a litte better but still far more men, hence making an effort to change that. In the past, yes I've been very shy at approaching girls for fear of rejection…was probably too much of a romantic too – kind of thought I'd meeet the right person and it would just happen, as I got older I realised I have to make it happen.

neil – I thought climbing had plenty of very fit girlies? I think you're right in saying that you have to make it happen.

The post from antennae above ^ made some good points. I guess it's also researching properly which online dating sites you use.

OK, I'm happy if required to organise an STW Swinley Forest Singletons Ride sometime. Any interest?

It's accessible by train (Martin's Heron) and I have plenty of experience of guiding around there!

Hey, if we're having a single misfit's amnesty can I join in? Singletonworld ride sounds excellent but too far away for me (any singleladyworlders in Spain?). Also I would be worried things might get a bit competitive, what tyres for rutting?

Right, that's enough of that! There's no misfits in this parish!

I couldn't possibly comment on tyres …

Fear of rejection is a real problem; I baulk at asking someone out because I'm certain I'll get turned down for whatever reason, usually not wanting to get involved again having been hurt before/broke up, holding out hope ex will have them back…
I just want someone who's fun to be with, romantic, pretty, sweet, and not really high maintenance. I guess that's just asking too much. She doesn't even need to be a really keen cyclist, just happy to go out for a pootle on a nice day, while I follow on behind. Checking out her bu…oops sorry, didn't mean that! 😉

I just want someone who's fun to be with, romantic, pretty, sweet, and not really high maintenance.

that'll be me then….although old fart would say i moan a lot 😯 😉

Well misfits, quirky types, takes all sorts etc. It said up there about accepting one's faults and stuff.. I KNOW I'm a bit weird.

Sounds like I want to take up climbing.

I just want someone who's fun to be with, romantic, pretty, sweet, and not really high maintenance.

That sounds like quite a big ask actually! They all got bagsied ages ago ;o)

Hmmm, I think this rejection angle will figure quite highly. It's just not necessarily a girl thing.

Xipe – from memory I reckon we're similar ages so can completely understand where you're coming from. I had just assumed that being more "mature" could potentially make it easier from a less baggage/kids viewpoint. But I think the compromise thing would rear its head in a big way.

Really, I have accepted that since my divorce, I will always be single but actually feel quite comfortable about it. Am not an easy person, strong-minded, ride bikes etc etc. Not sure whether that's the right attitude though!!

although old fart would say i moan a lot

And scream..i've experienced you do both whilst having a ride.

I can indeed confirm that aleigh is noisy in the woods 😯

(Mumbling, head hangin' in shame)

Been reading this thread but been too scared to stick my massive (but perfectly formed and highly alluring) nose in.

Sex/no sex, either way being on your own is quite disheartening, especially if you've had it in the past, be that marriage, co-habiting, wild flings or whatever.

I'm relatively young, though feel aged far, far beyond my years, and already have begun resigning myself to the scrapheap.

A SingleonTrackWorld ride would be a lot of fun but, as has been raised, if an equal male:female ratio were imposed the ride would only consist of about four riders…

Good luck at the meat market folks! 😉

Join in bananaworld! It's only by "talking" about this stuff that we can try and understand where people are coming from.

Haven't a clue how many girlies would come along. Perhaps they could e-mail me, address in profile?

As regards meat market, er no. Girls and guys riding bikes – more of a chilled-out vibe I would say 8)

If you're interested, post up and say so!