Celibacy……….

Gizzard Puke , I am the opposite. Hair on my head and balls and absolutely no where else. What the ****? 😐

Thanks Muddy dwarf I also arranged all of the details including notes but I'm in a better place now (just sad and lonely.

The good thing is apart from the ageing balding bit I've lost 8kg so I'm not overweight.

Aleigh – what contract???? (am i being targetted for assassination???) 😯

Well, if a grizzly, miserable little shit like me can find someone to put up with my inadequacies and deviations then there's hope for everyone!

of course not!

maybe there should be a section for singletons!

Single men are embarrassed to come forward???

I don't think so!

hmmm

Ageing, well no-one gets younger do they…
Balding, nope, more hair than I know what to do with on my head, so I just let it do what it wants
Overweight, 10.5st & 5'10ish, so nope
Relationship incompetent….well it's been a while so **** knows if I am or not.

Ok….from reading this thread I have the mental image of Hora's hairy balls and the fact he would be a busdriver.

Mods….kill this thread!

aleigh:

maybe there should be a section for singletons!

*registers singletontrackworld.com*

Let me throw this in to further (or stop) the debate. If a married couple are celibate but one of them is healthy enough to want/need rumpypumpy, would it be ok to seek it outside marriage? Seperation can't happen due to kids, so furthering Buzzlightyears question and superstar opponents.

Just want to clarify that I was not getting at parents in general for being to busy to bother with people. I do understand the ties of caring for children/dependents etc. I have had to keep to day in day out schedules myself for caring purposes, though not child related. I am fairly understanding about such ties and the restrictions and the tiredness they bring (I realise that has not come across in my earlier writing). For the 2 years I dated, I did not see my boyfriend for any weekends at all, or for bank holidays, family holidays, Christmas, New Year as for each of those he was helping to look after his child in another town (which I applauded him for, though leaving me out was bad behaviour on reflection, as I was open to both his child and its mother) I think that shows a lot of consideration for other peoples family commitments as I chose to sacrifice an awful lot to support his commitment to his child.

It was the attitude of a few parents I have met that I was commenting on who can be oddly smug and offensive in their perspectives.

Plenty are very nice people. I think parents just loose stuff in common with non parents, so find their company often less fulfilling. The effect is the same for some singles though, that they become more left out of the parent dominated social groups. Its an observation of social behaviour, I am not calling parents bad people. Sorry if it sounded as if I was.

midnighthour – where in the UK do you live?

We'll invite you on the next local STW ride. 🙂

Internet dating – someone said on here it was not a pleasant experience, but they are persevering. What are the downsides to it?

I think a dating site for cyclists might be a good idea. I wonder if the Ramblers have a version? 🙂

there is a site called fitness singles…..

I have not cycled for the last 6 months, other than my little xmas snow rides, which have made me look more positively at biking again. Hoping to get back into it during the spring if things go well, so might give people a shout when less physically dire! Very kind offer, thanks.

that site's rubbish!

I don't understand the concept of "open" relationships – jealousy is normal. So, the randy partner could not realistically engage in sex outside the celebate relationship IMO.

Unless you know otherwise?

that site's rubbish!

Why?

because it's full of shallow people

would anyone be up for a singletons ride then?

Is this time for that famous 70s feminist slogan?

"a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle"

Yep, I'd be up for it! It could be the strangest bike ride I've been on. 🙂

This years STW quantocks march ride will be for singles only……

Now get dumping your partners for a good weekends riding..

BIKES!

'Open' surely relates to a 2-way relationship of openness? What if one half of the relationship doesn't want/can't do sex but understands that the OH needs it and can only get it elsewhere. Some people think that no sex means end of marriage/relationship.

I don't know otherwise personally btw, but come across unusual scenarios in line of duty.

aleigh – Member

because it's full of shallow people

the one woman i've been on a date with from that site said the same thing too.
i don't think she was including me in that statement though… i'm guilty of many things but i doubt being shallow is one of them!

teagirl – well I guess some relationships ca be open and work, but for me, no. If I were the guy in a relationship where I wanted sex but wasn't getting it I'd weigh up the pro's and con's and either make the sacrifice or end the relatinship.

midnight – the sites (or at least the one I'm using – MSF, and I suspect all) make the approach, the flirting and the dating very process driven and suck all the spontaneity, excitment and fun from it. They also make dating seem even more pressurised, you feel a need to rush if you see someone you like and you are very aware that everyone feels the same so everyone is 'layering'. Everyone is approaching dozens of people at once, talking on email/messaging with as many as they can, having first dates with several and second dates with a few all at the same time. It is very much a meat market. These are, for me (and many others?) the bits I dislike about 'natural' dating but the site amplifies it massively. I know I'm not the only one to feel this way, it is a common feeling for users. Oh and you WILL go on just the photos. The written profile descriptions are very formulaic and don't help to get a feeling for someone so you go on lust…the girls I've dated have said this to me so it's not just my own view.
On the plus side it is honest and open and gets you out there, plus there is no embarassment in taking that first step and sending a message to someone that catches your eye. Plus most people are normal and have some nice qualities so as long as you don't get too worked up about a first date (just keep it simple – a meet for one drink or a coffee) and play it by ear then the worst that happens is a polite but unexciting coffee and 20 minutes of slow conversation, the best is…well..you decide.

Happy to expand on my experiences if you want me too, but probably not in public.

Neil

I wonder if the Ramblers have a version?

They like being in the open. Like their relationships perhaps?

The freedom to roam? The right to "ramble" on someone else's land?

All dating websites are full of shallow people in a way. It is very difficult to get a 'feel' for someone without meeting, no matter how many messages you exchange (and you'll feel the pressure to keep chat's short and move to a meet fairly quickly – the sites encourage you to do that!) Therefore the majority go on the photos/looks. Sites know this – they all have search criteria such as 'only those with photos on their proile'

"What if one half of the relationship doesn't want/can't do sex but understands that…"

Will that understanding stop the non-sex partner feeling jealous or inadequate? No, people are not that rational! Playing away will rot what is left of their relationship surely?

Oh and aleigh. Yeah I'd be up for a singles ride. Using a dating website has hardened me ue up to that meat market feeling and if I liked someone on the ride I would as a result:
– be shy but over come it to say 'Hi, I think you're cute'
– be dissappointed but understanding if the chemistry wasn't their and she didn't feel the same
– be emabarassed but politely and gratiously decline any, 'Hey I think you're cute' advances I got if I didn't feel the same

The one thing that I'd find difficult though would be trying to get to know someone I might like at the same time as some other guy might be. Maybe if the ride were somehow broken up into pairs and swapped about every 5 minutes – a sort of cycle speed dating, then my problem scenario could be avoided. Logistical nightmare though?

Buzz – I'm with you so I'd make the choice – sacrifice or end.

Dating – Be yourself, and if that isn't producing the desired results, read 'The Game' by neil straus.

I'm off to register "cycle speed dating", it's got legs that.
Can shacked up people join the singletons ride, just to normalise things a bit but wear one arm warmer so everybody knows they are taken?

I think a STW ride/aleigh auction would be a hit..

With all the money spaffed on bikes that aren't ridden well.

They could spaff more money and ride her just as badly.

Everyones a winner and we all go to the pub happy.

Hey eth3er! That's MY idea! go get your own 😉

oh and I don't think the pressence of non-singles would help. If a singles ride was to happen then sure all the singles would be there with no big plans, just their to have fun naturally….but the fact that they are making an effort to go on a singles ride and put themselves out there means their is a little bit of hope or pressure. I can only see the pressence of non singles somehow adding to pressure – they would seem like an audience. The exception would be a few non-singles to organise any activities needed, any speed dating ride partner swapping etc.

ahem, mr sharki – i'm not up for auction!

a singletons ride (of sorts) would be ace. it's much nicer to meet people in the flesh than on those dating sites. you know straight away if you've clicked with someone, if you don't you can chat and 'ride along'! 😆

sharki, the march ride – perhaps you me and knottie need to get together to discuss?

i think i'd be up for that ride too aleigh.

One for the girlies:

There seems to be a new break-away Forum group Real Men Ride 29ers and, to be honest, they terrify me.

For example, their most vocal supporter recently stated:

Everyone is now curious for some man-size bigness in their lives.

Seriously, what do you make of that??

Do you think it should be restricted it to 26ers and ban big wheel bikes? I really wouldn't feel comfortable around these larger chaps.

Your input would be welcomed.

yeh I look at fitness single and it's crap. The whole internet dating thing has that feeling of 'now I'm really scraping the barrel', it makes me cringe, I've tried, it's just not me. If I can't meet someone in an everyday life situation like the human race has been doing for thousands of years then I may as well be decapitated.

Kev

I love the way this topic has gone from celibacy to speed dating…

all part of life/STW's rich tapestry…. 😆

odannyboy:

all part of life/STW's rich and horny tapestry….

Just fixed that for you.

there is a site called fitness singles…..

that site's rubbish!

It's not, I met a fantastic girl on there!
Was on it for a year or so, sometimes only glancing at it once a month, other times talking to 3 or 4 girls at a time. Met up with a few – some are still good friends, some I'll never see again (nor would they see me! 😉 ) but in the end it worked out for the best. 🙂