Subscribe now and choose from over 30 free gifts worth up to £49 - Plus get £25 to spend in our shop
Thank you, red and blue are the new P
@jonworth on twitter has done one of his excellent flow diagrams to help navigate the impossible
(Ill be superforecaster cummings version is done in crayon)
Perhaps or the same reason as they usually mention the Queen when reporting on Philip.
Er, no… Philip’s job is literally to be the Queen’s consort… that’s his role, title and position.
Anyway, enough of the everyday sexism… some more inevitability in coming…
https://twitter.com/dmitryopines/status/1307684579873095682?s=21
The man who airily dismissed talk of huge lorry queues as 'Project Fear' has just written to the haulage industry to tell them to expect huge lorry queues.
Michael Gove. doesn't possess an ounce of shame, does he?
https://twitter.com/faisalislam/status/1308648304553717760?s=20
Weirdly, theres actually a part of me that's looking forward to the tsunami of outrage from all the gammons in Kent who voted for Brexit, when they're stuck in a traffic jam of 7,000 lorries.
Not much of a consolation as the economy collapses I know, but I suspect that by January we'll have little else to laugh about
Weirdly, theres actually a part of me that’s looking forward to the tsunami of outrage
What, even the 97% of that outrage which shall be directed wholly at scapegoats?
#immigrants
#theeu
#unelectedeurocrats
#thefrench
#theleftTM
#corbyn
#marxists
#parentheticshadowyjews
#BLM
#bbc
#treehuggers
#gayfeminists
#pcbrigade
#vegeburgers
#soymilk
#bloodycyclists
So, if there are huge lorry queues on either side of the channel, it's more than just the goods being held up, isn't it? The lorries and the drivers themselves will also be tied up, and not able to deliver other stuff in their respective home regions.
Surely haulage companies will be forced to refuse to deliver between the UK and EU, even if producers have buyers? Because they'd have to hire more drivers and buy more trucks which is unlikely because their income wouldn't be going up.
So, if there are huge lorry queues on either side of the channel, it’s more than just the goods being held up, isn’t it? The lorries and the drivers themselves will also be tied up, and not able to deliver other stuff in their respective home regions.
No, no, no! It will just be on our side of the Channel because the French are being their usual obstructive selves. There'll be no queue at the French side because we'll have our world beating infrastructure and everything will just sail through no problem with no checks.
Oh, hang on. I haven't thought that through have I?
Don't worry, I'm sure the powers that be have thought of this and there's absolutely nothing to worry about. Just carry on and keep the economy ticking over. You're not one of them are you? (#metropolitanliberalelite)
Do you honestly think that our Spitfire pilots asked these kind of questions as they stepped into their cockpits to face the dreadful Hun?
Surely haulage companies will be forced to refuse to deliver between the UK and EU, even if producers have buyers?
Don't forget all the red tape that'll stop haulage companies from making their routes efficient by delivering within, not just to, the market they are going to be 'outside' come January.
Don't you worry your pretty little head. It's all in hand. Michael Gove is in charge of planning.
The 50,000 border staff required have all been recruited and trained, the physical infrastructure is all in place and a 'world-beating' IT system has been delivered on time and under budget.
Oh... erm... hang on a minute....
I am seriously going to buy a few extra cans every shop now.
I predict riots in the spring...no one riots in winter.
there will be shortages of anything that comes from abroad (especially food and medicine) and costs will rise, pretty much everything will get more expensive as a result.
the government are going to be throwing money at the big outsourcing companies it an attempt to show the public that the are doing something (which also has the happy coincidence of enrich their mates).
BlowJo will have exited stage left by this point and some other mug will be trying to clean up his mess.
which also has the happy coincidence of enrich their mates
https://twitter.com/GeorgePeretzQC/status/1308681072968970240
You've got to love Steve Bray...
https://twitter.com/ChrisMasonBBC/status/1308329650859446272?s=20
Covid functions as a tremendous smokescreen. Although with our electorate it’s hardly necessary to use any cover at all. Just make up a three word sentence and throw it at them. Here’s one: ‘Ra, ra, ra!’
(quick, sign this while they’re all saying ‘ra ra ra’)
Meanwhile:
The powers in the Internal Market Bill are a breach of the Withdrawal Agreement – an International Treaty – and astonishingly wide in their reach. They represent a power grab from the Devolved Governments of N.Ireland, Scotland and Wales and enable a Minister to override all other law, regulation, convention or agreement whatsoever (p36 – Section 45, 4 a-g).
Complaints about a Minister breaching his/her duty under the Ministerial Code can be made through the Parliamentary Commissioner for Standards Office here.
MPs who voted for IMB on Monday 14th September 2020 can be found on Hansard
Or – we can do nothing.
“Bad men need nothing more to compass their ends, than that good men should look on and do nothing.” (J. S. Mill 1867)
https://thecynicalsquid.wordpress.com/2020/09/20/an-acceptable-breach-of-the-law/
Do you honestly think that our Spitfire pilots asked these kind of questions as they stepped into their cockpits to face the dreadful Hun?
I reckon they might have asked a few questions if they found out Winston was actively inviting them over.
I predict riots in the spring…no one riots in winter.
there will be shortages of anything that comes from abroad (especially food and medicine) and costs will rise, pretty much everything will get more expensive as a result.
the government are going to be throwing money at the big outsourcing companies it an attempt to show the public that the are doing something (which also has the happy coincidence of enrich their mates).
BlowJo will have exited stage left by this point and some other mug will be trying to clean up his mess.
Who leaked that top secret plan and how did you get it?
Joking aside, in essence this is actually what is going to happen.
I am seriously going to buy a few extra cans every shop now.
Already ahead of you there. I feel a bit dirty doing it, but there is a better than even* chance I would be depriving someone who thinks this shitshow was a good idea, so not too dirty.
*I know, I'm just being flippant.
^^^^
Re the beardy nob up there on Sky News.
I saw a load of bread the other day resembled him. Then I read a bit closer and realised it actually said 'Thick Cut'.
He doesn't know, of course he ****ing doesn't. He just got all misty eyed when someone waved a Union Jack and 'thought' that 'sovrunty' would sort out all his petty little hangups about race, nationality etc.
Pillock.
7000 trucks end to end is a distance of around 125 kilometers, the M20 cannot cope with that.
Re the beardy nob up there on Sky News.
I saw a load of bread the other day resembled him. Then I read a bit closer and realised it actually said ‘Thick Cut‘.
He doesn’t know, of course he ****ing doesn’t. He just got all misty eyed when someone waved a Union Jack and ‘thought’ that ‘sovrunty’ would sort out all his petty little hangups about race, nationality etc.
Pillock.
But but but, the pause when he can't answer the woman's question. Civilisations have risen and fallen, epochs have come and gone, species have evolved and expired, guns n roses have released 'chinese democracy', etc in the time that beardy p*ssbucket reacted to that question
Can you image what we're going to look like to the rest of the world when they see the whole of the South East of England turned into an enormous lorry park and the entire motorway network gridlocked, as Boris and chums proudly proclaim they've 'Taken Back Control'?
Can you image what we’re going to look like to the rest of the world when they see the whole of the South East of England turned into an enormous lorry park and the entire motorway network gridlocked, as Boris and chums proudly proclaim they’ve ‘Taken Back Control’?
If we put our STW bike nerd spectacles on for a minute, where will this leave the annual pilgrimage to Morzine? Good job I left that all behind when I had a kid. But seriously, the fort bill and leogang world cups will have to be spaced a month apart to allow time for the team buses to be processed at Dover. I'm sorry but loic bruni's coach seat ass welts are yet another and hitherto forgotten consequence of brexit
https://twitter.com/adampayne26/status/1308776718266703872?s=21
https://twitter.com/adampayne26/status/1308781306013257729?s=21
Just when you thought Brexit can't get any more insane, you remember that the diseased mind of Michael Gove is in charge of finding 'solutions' to potential problems.
His answer to the potential customs shambles and subsequent miles of lorry queues? You'll need paperwork to enter Kent, in what will become a new internal border
Going to Europe? You'll now need a 'Kent Access Permit'
Absolute ****ing madness!!
https://twitter.com/Independent/status/1308759240480358401?s=20
7000 trucks end to end is a distance of around 125 kilometers, the M20 cannot cope with that.
Of course it can. It's 80km long and has 3 lanes - turning lane 1 and 2 into a parking lot most of the way back to London is a small price to pay for our sovrunty. The locals will have a whole lane to themselves on which to sit in traffic, ring up LBC and muse gently about how we got to this position.
You’ll need paperwork to enter Kent, in what will become a new internal border
Going to Europe? You’ll now need a ‘Kent Access Permit’
Taking control of our Borders. Moving them to Sevenoaks.
Will you need a pass to use the southeast quadrant of the M25, or just to leave it?
Are there any memes of the new look UK? Scotland, Norn Ireland cropped off. And now Kent.
Fortress UK is shrinking
What about Kent’s sovereignty? They need to take back control of their borders sharpish.
I reckon Cornwall will self determinate before Wales, they've even got their own terrorists
All they have to do is blockade the A30
I still own a house in Kent, do I need a passport to go there from France?
Thank god we are removing all that pesky EU red tape that's been holding us back for so long.
Won’t someone get rid of the moaning shit stirring toad…?
https://twitter.com/patrickkmaguire/status/1308794307697094658?s=21
He stood his candidates aside to help this government get its mandate, and still stood them where he could stop Labour MPs from being returned, to ensure the government had a big majority. He has talked us into this sink bog, and now complains that it smells a bit, and it’s hard to move. He’s just an agent of unrest… a traitor to the interests of the UK at every turn… and still he’s there… just GO!
If we ever get back to work, AV support for clinical trials meetings all over the world, then our trucks going to Europe will now need paperwork just to get from Sussex to Kent, more paperwork to get into France, we'll have to pay for at least 4 more days truck hire and drivers wages as well as the cost of all the paperwork. We'll also have lost the use of kit for at least 4 days for each round trip which will increase cross hire costs.
All the work we've won ahead of suppliers across France, Belgium, The Netherlands,Spain, Portugal, Germany, Italy and Austria will become uneconomical. I'm not sure how handing all that work back to companies outside of the UK adds to the Brexit bonus it's not something I've been able to work out yet.
Gove’s slimy interview with Trump.
Cumming’s missing years in Russia.
Farage and Banks in the gold Trump lift.
Wigmore and his Belize diplomatic status.
The “Brexit bonus” is not about UK interests. It never has been.
An internal, self inflicted, border in Kent.
If anything better encapsulates the utter bellendery of Brexit, this has to be it.
Will the residents of Kent get new passports?
More importantly.... will they be blue?
🤣🤣🤣
🍆💦
Oh… have we done the Gibraltar government backing Spain’s proposals for the Rock to become part of Schengen…? I mean… why wouldn’t they? Practical solutions may have been rejected by the UK government… but, the pressure to opt in to them will be strong everywhere… not just Kent.
Also worth noting that even my kids (12 & 9 yo) laughed at the idea of an internal border around Kent.
What a sad, sad, little international joke/footnote we are as a 'nation'.
Pathetic.
I still own a house in Kent, do I need a passport to go there from France?
If you go via London or Southampton to avoid the gridlock in Kent you might need your passport and two visas.
#takebackcontrol
Faisal Islam Just said Great Britain is leaving in January. Does he know something we don't?
Faisal Islam Just said Great Britain is leaving in January. Does he know something we don’t?
We have already left the EU. We are outside the single market and customs union (and all the other practical agreements people have taken for granted) as soon as we enter January.
Can you imagine writing any of this on the side of a bus?
We lose everything, all our ability to move around efficiently, to collaborate, to pop off abroad at a moment's notice and still have a cheap phone bill.
We gain a border in Kent, one in the Irish Sea too, a load of lorry parks, massive cost increases, massive delays to literally everything left to do with Europe and also some sovrinty and blue passports.
Vote Leave!
It'd have been 99% remain...
Project fear.
will Kent declare UDI?
Faisal Islam Just said Great Britain is leaving in January. Does he know something we don’t?
We have already left the EU. We are outside the single market and customs union (and all the other practical agreements people have taken for granted) as soon as we enter January.
I think he’s referring to the use of GB not UK.
Just when you thought Brexit can’t get any more insane, you remember that the diseased mind of Michael Gove is in charge of finding ‘solutions’ to potential problems.
His answer to the potential customs shambles and subsequent miles of lorry queues? You’ll need paperwork to enter Kent, in what will become a new internal border
Going to Europe? You’ll now need a ‘Kent Access Permit’
I read that this afternoon. After a nervous, disbelieving cackle, the first words in my mind were Monkey Tennis. What. The. Absolute. ****.
Do I actually read this correctly? That the solution to significant delays at ports due to extra logistics IS TO INSERT ANOTHER LAYER OF LOGISTICS, WHITH THE SAME **** ALL LEVEL OF GUIDANCE THAT YOU'VE PROVIDED FOR THE FIRST SET OF LOGISTICAL PROBLEMS. **** **** **** **** ****. ****. ****.
🙁
yeah but monkey tennis.
Patriotic Man man of Kent here. The Union flat is coming down tonight tho be replaced with the new Democratic Republic of Kent flag. We already have a trade deal with the Democratic Republic of Congo. So we are sorted.
You heathens from the bad lands can stay the **** out of our county.
Remember, our Motto. Invicta!
(Gained from when we let the Romans walk through our county unopposed and claimed that as a victory but still...)
We have at least one Spitfire in the county so bring it on.
I think he’s referring to the use of GB not UK.
Oh, I see… that could be a useful shortcut.
How does that work for Kent hauliers that are only doing local runs, will they not be able to go out of Kent for fear of being fined for going back in. No doubt no-one has considered this.
The Kent Acces Permit is a bit wordy
The Kermit sounds better & it's a tribute to froggy face Farage!
I wonder if it’ll turn out to be an advantage or a disadvantage to be based in Kent. Or should that be… I wonder who’s going to get hit hardest, those based in Kent, or those based anywhere else in GB.
The Kent Acces Permit is a bit wordy
The Kermit sounds better & it’s a tribute to froggy face Farage!
Kent Road Access Permit or just Krap
Utterly surreal times. I wouldn't be shocked to hear an asteroid is hurtling towards us now. Extinction level event stuff.
Absolutely anything is possible.
Did y see Gove blame labour when asked by the BBC why the govt are pressing ahead with all this bollox in the middle of a pandemic. Putrid slime
I’m sure that when we crash out on No Deal on January 1st, Gove’s Kent Access Permit masterplan will all run like clockwork and we’ll all appreciate his genius.
This doesn’t have ‘back of a fag packet’ written all over it at all
What could possibly go wrong?
If the public are panic buying now, wait until there's some genuine shortages in the new year while Gove personally issues these KRAP permits.
And I'm presuming these permits just dissipate the queue of trucks around the SE of England so that on January 2nd there's not TV screens full of a stationary motorway?
From January most lorries are going to be based in Kent, whether they like it or not.
And I’m presuming these permits just dissipate the queue of trucks around the SE of England
Apparently so.
https://twitter.com/pmdfoster/status/1308874167106891777
the first words in my mind were Monkey Tennis.
More like 'Eat my cheese, you mother!' as something smelly and unpleasant is shoved in our faces.
At least we're swapping the CAP for the KAP.
Patriotic Man man of Kent here. The Union flat is coming down tonight tho be replaced with the new Democratic Republic of Kent flag.
I was born in the county - can I be repatriated while your application to rejoin the EU goes through?
Will there be satellite lorry parks around Kent for drivers unable to get into Kent. Where will that end?
Tories are frantically coming up with a plan to divert the lorry queues into labour or even SNP voting areas, obviously not London, so we re left with Manchester, Liverpool and probably Blackford's constituency: Ross lochaber & Skye. You heard it here first
Will there be satellite lorry parks around Kent for drivers unable to get into Kent. Where will that end?
Endless convoy of trucks circling the M25, Snowpiercer style, as the post-Covid/Brexit apocalypse rages around them.
Where will that end?
My only hope is that some truckers decide that parliament Street is a perfect spot for a few days of queueing.
Brexit really is an alternative reality, isn't it?
Whats truly staggering is that when slippery little shit Michael Gove is delivering the news, straight-faced, that one part of the English mainland is essentially going to become a separate customs territory, at enormous expense (i mean, seriously.. how the * do they plan to enforce this?), at no point has the thought entered his head that this is an unmitigated disaster that is all utterly and completely pointless. And that this lunacy is all the fault of him, Johnson and Cummings
The mental gymnastics required in these idiots to justify all this utterly self-defeating, foot-shooting nonsense to themselves is truly incredible to behold.
They don't even seem to register how mad they sound when they're communicating insanity like this to more rational people.
You feel like giving him a good slap and saying 'FFS!! Have you listened to yourself, you *ing numpty?!"
A good editorial in this mornings Guardian:
The Guardian view on new Brexit borders: the price of political fraud
The only staggering bit is that some people still believe that it will all be ok and worthwhile, Michael Gove not taking responsibility for it is defacto policy of this govt.
Everything else could have been carved in stone in 2016 it was so predictable.
- Apparently you cant have a equivalent single market access without being in the single market - it seems single markets are not in fact dual markets after all.
- It turns out 500+ million people in Europe don't need our trade as much as the 60m people here need theirs.
- The german car industry isn't actually that worried that their cars might be a bit more expensive, since virtually all cars will be a bit more expensive.
- The french wine industry doesn't think that we'll all suddenly start drinking home-brewed hooch and real ale.
- It seems that if you erect a tax and legal border, you need an actual border.
- NI is still a political hot potato.
... Its a never ending list of project fear bloody obvious.
Who knew?
Can’t we as a country just stay in the EU, but have borders round prominent brexiteers houses prison cells?
Is the break up the USSR a clue as to where all this will end? Looking at russian and how "publicly owned" assets were bought on the cheap at the end of the USSR. Is that a template they are trying to engineer with brexit?
thats probably a fair comparison (and pretty scary)
It sounds a bit tinfoil-hattish but I actually think there could be some truth in that.
The amount of dodgy Russian money that's flooded into London/the Tory party coffers must be for a reason.
I'm increasingly coming round to the view that Johnson / Gove / Cummings are about to be jettisoned by the Tories. They were an election asset to get their landslide and they are now becoming increasingly obvious liabilities. Quite simply, the government is bleeding its authority to govern away.
No matter about the profiteering by disaster capitalists, the UK is looking like it will be a highly unstable country re supply chains, import / export difficulties, international reputational damage etc. That is going to harm investment and the ability to simply transact business. Powerful interests are not going to be happy.
I'm sure the Tory hierarchy are astute enough to know that if they lose business and middle class support they are consigned to the political wilderness. They know they cannot deliver what was promised to people who would otherwise have voted Brexit / UKIP. There will be no £350 million for the NHS. Once that penny drops those voters will desert them again. Who will they be left with?
Johnson / Gove etc increasingly look like they are no longer even making a serious effort to pretend that this is workable. The disastrous handling of the pandemic hasn't helped. The Tories know they are losing business support. Remember Johnsons "F*ck business" comment?
Gove is forever tainted by this. He will go along with the rest of the present junta. There's some obvious positioning by the likes of Jeremy Hunt. I do not think Brexit will be reversed but I believe they will be metaphorically be asked to go into a room alone with a pistol in the very near future.
I do not think this would have happened if not for the mismanagement of the pandemic. It really does feel like the essential fabric of British society has been undermined by their ineptitude.
I’m sure the Tory hierarchy are astute enough to know that if they lose business and middle class support they are consigned to the political wilderness.
THEY ARE GONE. The Tory Party has been hollowed out. Have you been asleep for 4+ years?
Once that penny drops those voters will desert them again.
More big lies. More big vague promises (that will evaporate between elections). Keep up the confusion. Keep ruling via hints more than declarations. It's worked for decades now in Russia and other countries, why do you think it won't work here? Because the British voters are more astute?
Yip. The last vestiges of the organisation formally known as the Conservative Party were cleared out in December last year. The parasite has know taken over complete ownership of the host.
Cummings, Johnson and Gove couldn't give a flying **** about destroying the Tory party, or anything else for that matter. This is a bank job. Once they've taken their wrecking ball to everything in January they'll be gone.
The Tory party, like everything else, will just be collateral damage
I share your anger and frustration Kelvin. However, my thinking is premised on Johnson / Cummings going. The heave would only happen if the Tory party conclude new management is needed and a new strategy adopted. They would have to justify that to the electorate so the messaging would have to change.
The messaging is changing all the time... they are sending out multiple "no10 source" messages that contradict each other to see what sticks. This is the game now... sow misinformation and confusion... and make sure that the damaging effects of that hit their opponents as much as themselves. Come the next election, it'll be "you can only trust us to fix this mess, not them"... just as it was at the last election... except it'll be a different mess entirely of their own making. This isn't the Conservative party, and by the next election, it won't have been for a decade. Trust in politicians will be at an all time low by the next election, but this mob will make sure that they are still trusted more than anyone else... mark my words... they know how to set the narrative, even if they haven't a clue (or the intention) of running a country successfully for its inhabitants.
Obviously they're going to have to give the impression of re-branding once the shit hits the fan. A few useful idiots will be jettisoned to make their fortunes elsewhere, and the new, caring, Tory party will emerge to start the long con all over again.
Ok I would genuinely be interested in your thoughts.
4 years from now infrastructure has collapsed. There is no deal with the EU. There is no deal with the US. Scotland is on the verge of independence and NI is organising a border poll. Public services are non existent. Unemployment has skyrocketed. Shady Russians have bought up most of the public infrastructure which had to be sold off to avoid the economy collapsing entirely. Those in employment have seen their wages in real terms demolished as you now have to pay for things which were previously publicly funded. Employment and consumer rights are non existent. The legal remedy of juidicial review is gone so the state can virtually act as it pleases.
Are you seriously telling me the British population is so stupid it won't consign those in charge of all this to the political wilderness?
Are you seriously telling me the British population is so stupid it won’t consign those in charge of all this to the political wilderness?
Can you not think of a couple of recent examples of the British electorate failing to act in its own best interests? The Tories are already setting up the blame game for the failure of Brexit - nasty EU, nasty remainer gloomsters, unprecedented pandemic etc etc. Plenty of gullible idiots out there will fall for it, same way they fell for stuff written on the side of a bus or lies spouted on their Facebook feed.
Yes, it's possible that the Tories will be chucked out for a term or two, but I wouldn't stake what's left of my savings on it.
@martinhutch the examples are obvious. However, those were the halcyon days before the lies were exposed one after the other. The GE demonstrated there hasn't been much change but surely the calamity Brexit is turning into would finally lift the mist form enough people's eyes?
Perhaps I'm being naive.
My final hope is they are booted out for 8 - 10 years which may give enough time to deal with some of their mess.
In the short term I'm hoping the Queen will be advised not to give Royal assent to the Internal Markets Bill which could trigger a heave on Johnson / Cummings.
However, those were the halcyon days before the lies were exposed one after the other. The GE demonstrated there hasn’t been much change but surely the calamity Brexit is turning into would finally lift the mist form enough people’s eyes?
Perhaps I’m being naive.
I have learned not to have excessive faith in the ability of the great British public to recognise when they are being royally ****ed, or at least not in their ability to spot who is doing the ****ing.
Queen withholding Royal Assent? People said that about other Brexit legislation. Not gonna happen.
