Anyone just given up on finding love?

I love Pimms and I also love Snowballs.

I have given up, I try to get enthused and think I should start trawling dating sites but I have learned a few things that just make the small talk and chat a bit tiresome

1) men my age (41) seem to be looking for something much younger – so does that mean I should be looking for someone much older (but then I want someone who is fit and can keep up with me – so that narrows the field down)

2) admitting to having four children makes men run away faster that anything else I know – maybe they mistake ‘yes I have 4’ with ‘yes I need you to become dad and provider for my four children’ when they ask if I have children.

Some of my friends say I shouldnt mention them – but they are not something I am ashamed of or believe I should hide

I guess they do complicate issues and mean I am very busy at times, so I have pretty much put myself on the shelf. It is upsetting though as I think most people just want someone to unwind with at the end of the day

I hold a glimmer of hope that when the last has fledged the nest and I set off riund the world on my bike I will bump into some like minded soul and pedal happily ever after

Edit and I drink Pimms – so there really is no hope

I know what you mean, adjustablewrench, I just can’t quite pluck up the enthusiasm for the dating sites. Tried it a couple of times but get tired of the generic nature of the people I seemed to find there.

Now finding I’m happier to just kind of spend a bit of time learning to be me again. The happier I am in myself, the more comfortable others seem to be becoming with me. 🙂

The hair is just another one of those things I *had* to do to find me…

Rachel

Being true to yourself is always important – even if you do lose sight of what that is occasionally it is crucial that you always take the time to find you again. And there is an added bonus with your hair as you have found yourself looking great 🙂

I am happy – and cringe slightly when I read my outpouring on the previous post!

Just the Friday night feeling of not having the energy to go out and be actively sociable – and missing there being someone around to ‘just be’ with.

Will woman the f up and go to the gym

men my age (41) seem to be looking for something much younger – so does that mean I should be looking for someone much older

Might be an age think plenty of women on the dating sites at your age [ I am 42 btw] list ages as 24-40 so it may just be wishfull thinking or delusion…good way of avoiding them tbh

I just went 5 years either side of my age

As for kids mention them its not like they wont be the most important part of your life

I see mine most weekends so that makes things complicated but it is not negotiable
It is harder than when we were younger – then again I guess fewer of us are single and we dont all go down the pub at the weekend

As for Pimms you are on your own there and I can offer no help or advice

Rachael good to see you find yourself and your feet. given your scenario I doubt it is any easier for you but at least you have found/are finding you.

Firstly you have to be comfortable with yourself, secondly don’t see everyone you meet as a potential partner; the rest should follow. Eventually. Possibly… 8)

Ha ha true – a good way to spot ones to avoid. But the age issue is also made worse by the fact that loads lie about their age anyway.

I guess its the same in real life, but it just makes the whole thing a bit more ridiculous when you cant even be straight from the start.

I am happy to admit my age – it doesn’t bother me, and to be fair I get complimented on not looking my age (but I think this is because lots of women who admit to being in their early 40s are actually in their early 50s – so I probably do look good next to them! 🙂 )

I think more direct dating sites should exist

Female
Brunette
5’6″
Mother of 4
Keen rider of bikes
Camps
Reads
Cooks
Can be forgetful
Grumpy if I dont get enough
Tells bad jokes
Tries to accept that there are many ways to skin a cat (but knows mine is the best way really)

What more do you need to know? And when they ask what are you lookibg for in someine else – well someone who can cope/get involved/tolerate the above qualities and hopefully share some mutual physical attraction with

See it seems so easy in principle 🙂

My penis won’t let me

Grumpy if I dont get enough

My penis won’t let me

I feel a problem being solved…

Wont let you what?!

Firstly you have to be comfortable with yourself

Bugger 🙁

Do something about it, Jamie!! Whatever it is, no matter what the consequences – sort it!

Rachel

Do something about it, Jamie!! Whatever it is, no matter what the consequences – sort it!

I think I might try something more achievable….like nailing fog to the wall.

Cheers,

Danny B.

And there’s me thinking that I drink Pimms because I like the taste of it. How wrong I was

And there’s me thinking that I drink Pimms because I like the taste of it. How wrong I was

**** ’em, Houns.

I drink Toffee Apple cider, and I’m sure that’s against some hipster rule.

They can tear my refreshing and fruity beverage from my cold dead hands.

Ha ha – I’ve got to try this direct thing! 🙂

Female
Pink-ette (temporarily, I think!)
6’2″
Mother of 0, Godmother of 2
Enthusiastic but ultimately useless rider of bikes
Camps
Reads
Cooks
Is often forgetful
Grumpy if I dont get enough
Has unreasonably last minute ideas and wanders off into sunset for adventures
Follows heart, not head, in most things
Has some amazing, if diverse, friends
Signs-off posts on STW

Rachel

That profile needs to be accompanied by a pic of you in
1. fancy dress
2. Soft focus professional ish quality from at least a decade ago
3. Pulling a face pissed up in a pub

Apparently blokes takes pictures of them with their cars 😯

FWIW riding ones dont attract much attention IME 😉

Lots of unfit looking women go the gym a lot as well
yes its not easy as folk try to sell themselves and if you do something honest like that it would look out of place

Its weird its like writing a CV about how awesome you are whilst listing all the qualities you want from someone – as if you have this list in the real world
I was ok up to this point

Tries to accept that there are many ways to skin a cat (but knows mine is the best way really)

it would be my way but we could always put every argument to the STW massive to decide 😉

I think I might try something more achievable….like nailing fog to the wall.

Don’t bother trying water-based adhesive; I’ve tried, it doesn’t work.

@Houns – I don’t think you are allowed to ‘just like’ something round here – everything is a reflection of you and your personality traits/flaws you should know that by now . . . Did you forget which forum you were on 🙂

male
shoulder length hair – going grey but not that obviosuly
5’9″
Father of 2
Enthusiastic rider and fettler of bikes – there are no carpets downstairs in my house 😉 [ its not plain floorboards either
Camps- i love camping
Does not read – i awlays think that is bit like going i am moron but really I just dont enjoy it
Cooks
Is unreliably forgetful 😳 annoying that
Copes ok without geting any but really would prefer to be getting some
Has problems sticking to one idea at a time and wanders in thought and action
Follows head, not heart, in most things
Has some diverse,if not frankly bonkers friends
does not sign of post but if he did it would be copy and pasted and spelt incorrectly

Sneaky edit there….

Could have been embarrassing to have got my own gender wrong so thanks for not mentioning it 😀

it’s a slippery slope, Junkyard…

Not to worry houns…….up to last year, not only had I given up on finding someone, I was actively avoiding another relationship (not that hordes lust filled women were beating my door down)

Now with someone and very happy 😀

Woody (age 53)

So…Junkyard. Wanna hook up?

Do it!

Is it too early to nip out and buy a big hat??

wonders if jamie is a girls name 😉

Androgynous is my middle name . 8)

1) men my age (41) seem to be looking for something much younger – so does that mean I should be looking for someone much older (but then I want someone who is fit and can keep up with me – so that narrows the field down)

It crazy because within a range of ten years people can seem plus or minus 10 years. I’m 43 and seem more like 35 to most people. Would happily date older if they seemed younger!

2) admitting to having four children makes men run away faster that anything else I know – maybe they mistake ‘yes I have 4’ with ‘yes I need you to become dad and provider for my four children

Plenty of blokes with or without children would happily be a dad for your kids. Some if us missed out first time around.

I hold a glimmer of hope that when the last has fledged the nest and I set off riund the world on my bike I will bump into some like minded soul and pedal happily ever after

You will. And so,I hope, will I ! Meanwhile there are trails to ride

Mums too. I’d be quite happy with someone else’s kids. Never had my own and it’s definitely not going to happen now.

Rachel

After a failed first marriage, I waited another 17 years for my lovely man to appear – and he’d waited even longer for me! And it was a pic of me on a bike that he spotted. You can find love in your, ahemm, [whispers] 50s [/whispers].

Houns my aunt didn’t even date men, she had friends and went out socially but just didn’t meet anyone she wanted to be more than friends with. Until she was 60. Then she got married and had 17 wonderful years (then he croaked). A woman I used to work for didn’t date either, when she was 40 she met and married and lived happily ever after. Plenty of time for you.

Desperation is a major turn off. Self confidence very attractive.

Where do you live? There’s a CC London social tomorrow night in Winchmore Hill.

Maybe it is me and not my children thats the problem then :-0

But I have honestly only had one guy who has really wanted to be involved with all aspects of my life (including kids) since I split up with my ex – and that was a while ago. Unfortunately I didnt fancy him enough so im probably not desperate enough.

And yes, buzzlightyear until then there is definitely lots of riding to be done – no doubts about that whatsoever!

Desperation is a major turn off. Self confidence very attractive.

Cocky **** not so!

Junkyard – lazarus

male
shoulder length hair – going grey but not that obviosuly
5’9″
Father of 2
Enthusiastic rider and fettler of bikes – there are no carpets downstairs in my house [ its not plain floorboards either
Camps- i love camping
Does not read – i awlays think that is bit like going i am moron but really I just dont enjoy it
Cooks
Is unreliably forgetful annoying that
Copes ok without geting any but really would prefer to be getting some
Has problems sticking to one idea at a time and wanders in thought and action
Follows head, not heart, in most things
Has some diverse,if not frankly bonkers friends
does not sign of post but if he did it would be copy and pasted and spelt incorrectly

You had me at ‘fettler’.

Not so much given up but never started. Being single is great, no commitments etc. If something happens it happens but I’m really not arsed at the minute. The thought of marriage and settling down is terrible, I can’t think of much worse. Mind you I’m only 24. Was kinda with someone I’d really liked for ages late last year, looking back I thought I was really happy but I’ve realised I actually wasn’t really, wasted so much time doing stupid stuff and not enough time doing the things I enjoyed.

Just about worked out my dating website profile.
Male
5ft 11
38 and 3/4
House trained and will use litter box
Smooth coat, so no moulting or shedding problems
Great for long journeys as tattoos can be used for “dot to dot” so far I’ve made a dinosaur, a pony and a kitten with a pogostick
Loves long hard dirty rides

Seeks : lady with affectionate labrador and white stick

here’s mine:
Single female almost 58

Apparently I don’t look my age

Not bad looking I suppose (at least, babies don’t cry when they look at me)

5′ 4″ and 62kg – could be slightly more

Loves all kinds of cycling, offroad the best

(a colleague described me to her husband as “fit as ****”)

Loves dogs (has two Greyhounds)

Interested in cars, trains, everything really – but time is a limiting factor

Not keen on housework

Rabidly independent

Likes to be alone when unwell

Likes sherry and red wine and Jack Daniels (not all in the same glass though)

Likes own company, Star Trek, Terry Pratchett

You might look a bit interesting after a blind lady has attempted dot to dot on you . . .

Adjustablewench- I look “interesting” anyway : ) and the ammount of metal work in me may make for amusing Braille. Knowing my luck it’ll probably say something like “will blow donkeys for money”