Anyone just given up on finding love?
Yep been in this situation in my 30’s.
Completely and utterly fed up with men messing me about. So…. I start to live life for myself, sort my business out, skiing more, riding my bike more and guess what?
I meet up with a chap, who at first was a friend and became someone I fancied like mad, but with my laid back attitude (at that time) and not being bothered if it worked out or not, it turned into a serious relationship and we’ve been married for over 10 years.
The best advice is what others have said above ^^. Be happy in yourself because women find that very attractive and just enjoy life.
Also at 35 you are far from over the hill and have plenty of time for meeting someone and bringing up mini Houns.Posted 4 years agobadnewzMember
badnewz in my experience all women complain eventually depending on the time you have with them it’s whether you can put up with it defines whether they stay or go
You’re quite right Sir. I think it also applies to a lot of people these days irrespective of gender. Italians Do It Best, though.Posted 4 years agocrankboyMember
i got divorced in my early thirties and settled down to be happily single. One saturday night i was spending the evening in with my happily gay mate we were drinking wine taking the piss out of crap movies when i got a call randomly inviting me out to a work aquaintances birthday . my mate was tired and ready for home so i went. i sat next to a girl in the group spun her a pack of obvious lies about being a criminal client of my aquaintances. we have been together now for 10 years we mannaged to accidently get married despite agreeing it was not for us, our son is two on saturday. i am sickeningly happy. It appears not to be about the “looking for love ”Posted 4 years ago
Because I’m really considering it.
Thing is, all I’ve ever wanted in life is to be in love and get married. Job, money, possessions don’t really bother me, just wanted to meet the ‘one’
I’m 35 now and fed up of meeting wrong women, fed up when meeting the right women that I usually end up broken hearted. Really just sick of it now and wondering why I put myself through it. Just want to share my life with someone.
I’ve heard all the platitudes, so please don’t post any. Have any of you chosen to become a confirmed bachelor? (No, not a ‘confirmed bachelor’!)
Sad thing is, if I go down this route then I don’t have any dreams in life 😐
(This isn’t meant as a pity me thread or a disguised fishing thread! Feel free to take the piss as I’m sure you will!)
Think I’ll open up a cat foster home and quietly go bonkers by myselfPosted 4 years agoKryton57Subscriber
Kind of like Danny B on page 1, I’m happily married but I’ve always said if suddenly I’m not for any reason I wouldn’t go through the whole “love” and definately not another wedding.
Tbh I just couldn’t be arsed, I rather sit about in a nice flat, drinking beer when I wanted and admiring / riding my bikes have the odd hopeful incidental fling here and there. I’m not an emotional person so I can’t rely describe a reason for my lethargy on the subject.Posted 4 years agoHughStewMember
I haven’t read the whole thread so this may chime/clash with what’s already been said.
Having had my heart broken in my mid 20’s by someone I thought was it, I settled on someone who I thought “I can make it work, it’ll be ok”. This resulted in 12 mostly miserable years. I was 43 when I met the right one, the divorce was horrible, but 5 years later the ex and I are both happier now than when we were together.
I’m now married a second time and ridiculously happy.
I do sometimes start to resent my ex for the “wilderness years”, but mostly I can’t bring myself to regret the first marriage, it gave me a wonderful daughter, and led me where I am now. Who knows what my life would have been if I had taken another path?
The moral of this story: F***ed if I know, I’m just wittering on really.Posted 4 years agoTuckerUKMember
I do think my standards are high,
Most of us would love a McLaren F1 (or something similar), but would it get up the local country lanes, can you afford the fuel or the servicing or the insurance, can you get the family in it, would you feel comfortable parking it round your mate’s dodgy neighbourhood?
Sometimes we have to check whether our goals are realistic. Nothing wrong with a man’s reach exceeding his grasp, or punching above your weight, but there has to be limits.
My partner of (well, over 10 years) is awesome, and I realise now that I couldn’t be with anyone else, she is what I’ve needed all along. However, when we met (I was 37) I told a friend that she definitely wasn’t my type!Posted 4 years ago
just coming out of a 19 year relationship..I am now way too damaged to think about stuff like love. So at 38 I think that’s me done really. Strangely having seen mates go through must find love routine there seems to be three types of ladies out there:
1: those with a massively high expectation of what a man must do and whole adherence to the sex in the city style dating rules
2: absolute emotional wrecks with more ghosts from the past than you can shake a stick at
3: actual normal people(well as normal as ladies get, so basically bonkers within socially acceptable margins)
3 is very very rare!Posted 4 years agobearnecessitiesSubscriber
just coming out of a 19 year relationship.
🙁 Sorry Tazzy that’s crap, but that makes realise I should stop moping.
I got handed back the engagement ring on Wednesday after a very protracted break up from a wonderful woman. Yesterday would have been an anniversary. Not been my best week. I’m also 35.
Oddly, I’m managing to be quite logical about it despite inner self doing it’s nut. No children were involved. Neither hates each other. Both have health and both learned lessons.
Similar to you, I’d like the whole family, stone floored kitchen and building tree houses for the kids. It’s all a bit raw though so I won’t say much more, but 35 is not all over territory! I’m not sure that age even exists any more!
Also, blatantly abusing any 0% credit cards you have to buy materialistic objects helps*
*no it doesn’t.
Chin up fella 😀Posted 4 years agoseaversMember
Hey singletons….It’s the E harmoney free weekend from today until Monday. Only problem is if you start right now you might just get done filling the forms in by Monday.
The really great thing is though they will carefully select 3 perfect matches for you in the whole of the country. In my case I would not have poked them with a sh***y stick.
Just join POF. That is free and you will get loads of messages from fat chicks, not only that but all your messages to the women you like will be ignored. Then when you do meet someone you like you will date for a few weeks, have some nice meals out and some very kinky ahem…just to get a text a few days later to say she has met someone else!
Dating at 38 isn’t easy. Probably isn’t at 20 either but at least you are not as bitter and jaded.
😛Posted 4 years agomrlebowskiMember
28? 35? 38?
Life isn’t over boys, far from it…
Top tip: STOP wishing your life away lads!
I’m 42, very nearly got married about 4 years ago. It didn’t happen, my life didn’t end, the World kept turning on it’s axis. I just went out & rode my bike a lot till I didn’t hurt anymore (& believe me, I was hurting…)
I may not get married, I may never have kids but so what. Thats the hand life has dealt me, now deal with it & get on with your lives. As the USMC say: “Adapt, overcome & improvise”.
I’m still dating girls & having fun. Stop being so “Oh woh is me”!Posted 4 years agoDugganMember
Firstly I think all this stuff about ‘the one’ is a load of bollocks and is essentially just nonsense told to 7 year old girls, along with how they’re a Princess and will be swept off their feet by a Knight in shining armour. It’s funny how out of all the people in the whole world ‘the one’ always seems to be somebody you meet in your local boozer or at the office Christmas Party 3 miles from where you were born.
Secondly, an awful lot is made out of falling in love and finding ‘the one’ like it’s the holy grail of life or something. Frankly it’s not, and there are many other worthwhile, worthy things to pursue in life.
I’m happily in a nine year relationship so I’m not just saying this to justify my empty, lonely life or anything. I just think there’s an awful lot of bullshit that gets spouted about this stuff and people just seem to accept it.
I can’t imagine life without my g/f but it would be ludicrous to think that if I had’t met her in the club that night that I wouldn’t have met someone else in the meantime in the previous nine years, and felt that way about that person.
There, I said it.Posted 4 years agodeadlydarcyMember
3 is very very rare!
Whereas I know loads of 3s which are far from bonkers in a socially acceptable way. Lots of them are married to mates, one of them was bonkers enough to marry me though, 🙂 and plenty more have been friends for years. But for a few twists of fate or coincidence, any one of them may have ended up being mrs deadly (I’m also a firm non-believer in the concept of “the one”). There are loads and loads of perfectly normal, lovely, sane women around. If you’re not finding them, it’s very unlikely to be their fault.Posted 4 years agorustlerMember
To the original question…yes.
And I’ve been married for almost 10 years.
Two amazing children, who are the only thing that keep me around. She sure as hell doesn’t.
If the children weren’t here we’d have split for sure.
The only thing that keeps me going…the thought that one day it will end, for whatever reason. In my head it’s the day after the youngest is 16. That will be my release date.
Houns, don’t pine for it chap.Posted 4 years ago
If I was single now I’d be the happiest chap in town.
Women…they could **** right off. I’ve had my fill of them.crikeyMember
Has anyone done the Bontrageresque bit yet?
Bike stuff; Cheap, light, strong, pick any two…
Women; Single, Sane, Attractive, pick any two…
I can’t be doing with all this angst stuff; stop whinging and sulking and go out and get trapped off, or live the rest of your life as a lonely sad thingy, but do keep quiet about it.Posted 4 years agoDickyboyMember
Stop looking for the “perfect one”, very few people have anything absolutely perfect in their lives (job, house, health etc) so why should partner/girlfriend/boyfriend be any different. Took me way too long to fathom this out, but now I have I am as happy as larry. 🙂Posted 4 years agosomafunkSubscriber
Not bothered if it never happens as i’m very happy living on my own and doing what i want, when i want without having to ask or clear it wi someone else first, did have a semi serious relationship 5 yrs ago but that went tit’s up due to catching her humping someone else and there’s been now’t since, not even a one night stand as i just can’t be **** or bothered wi the hassle despite having at least a dozen opportunities this year so far.
I’ve never wanted kids and being 41 and not owning my own house along wi having two badly paid jobs doesn’t help as i guess women expect someone of my age to be able to afford holidays and a certain lifestyle but i tend to shun all that and i couldn’t give a flying **** bout’ having money so that tends to put them off, i like my work that i do (chocolatier & bike shop mechanic) and i like and really get on wi the folk i work with – i get to make up my own hours and if i want a day off at anytime to go riding or something else that’s fine – no probs in the slightest, so what if i get paid very poorly? – i enjoy going to work so i figure that counts for so much more than having cash in the bank (of which there’s now’t), i have a good life, good friends, nice bikes, live in the middle of nowhere in Galloway and i can’t honestly say when the last time i was unhappy/bored/fed-up/annoyed was…….
…..although after saying all that there is someone i have recently started to ride with that is fitter than me, can ride just as good as (or better) than me, is very-very fit (as in wow – she’s fit!), a really good laugh, is very independent herself and similar values and wants………..she’s a good few years younger (10ish) but i dunno?….i’m very happy wi just myself and doing things my way so it’s kinda threw me a curve ball as i have actively not gone out my way to encourage or put myself in any situation where the opportunity to perhaps take it any further would ever come up and to be honest i dunno if i will but i’ll trundle on as it is at the moment as it’s a good laugh and a break from the norm.
So……have i given up? – not as such but i’m certainly not searching for it.Posted 4 years agorOcKeTdOgSubscriber
Searching for “the one” is a fruitless exercise, it does indicate you take things too seriously & it’s probably this intensity that turns the opposite sex off.
Anyway, I was 40 when I found happiness, via one broken marriage so don’t give up yet, just don’t focus all your energy on it, it freaks people out, relax and let it comePosted 4 years ago
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