Your top tips for looking like a bell-end?

Tricky, was just about to put that up myself. Done to death but always worth a watch!

[…] I keep asking them who told them the ‘homeless bum’ look is in…

Mugatu’s “Derelicte”?

wearing camo gear if you are not in the army

I wear camo stuff all the time, it’s just not our army camo! And I wear combats, the loose fit and lots of pockets are a) very comfy, and b) very useful for carrying small stuff rather than using a bag. And some of the camo is on stuff like Fenchurch shorts. The big advantage is that it doesn’t show mucky marks, and it’s cheap, I recently got hold of a USAF Goretex parka, in a digital, light green/grey tigerstripe pattern, unworn, for £80, and it’s a joy to wear, very soft and comfy.
I do refuse to wear DPM, basically ‘cos I don’t like the colours. And you do look a tit wearing it.
Oh, yes, just thought, the shirt buttoned right up, without a tie, might sometimes be a religious thing, certain groups, like the Plymouth Brethren don’t allow the wearing of ties, I believe, and I’m certain there might be a couple of other cases.
But mostly it just looks daft. 😀

badly shaped wooly hats worn indoors.
hats indoors.
truckers caps with that stupid gold label left on.
truckers caps/baseball caps if you don’t drive a truck or partake in a sport/pastime that necessitates shading your eyes.
suits and sports glasses
suits and sports glasses worn at a wedding with a jazzy looking waistcoat you hired.
camo because it was cheap.

truckers caps with that stupid gold label left on.

Not truckers caps old man they are New era 😉

Budgie smugglers
Ronhill tracksters unless fell running
pants under lycra on bike
walking along holding your phonein front of you whilst talking
holding your phone in front of you listening to some distorted gangasta rap when you actualy are from Godalming

You’ve all missed it.

Driving a (insert new premium brand car, often a 4×4) while having your elbow on the door edge and holding you finger to your lips, as if you were deep in thought but you’re actually just contemplating your own brilliance and how freaking attractive you are in your (insert premium brand of car).

Never seen a woman doing it!

Anyone who uses the word “trendy” on mountain bike forums shouldn’t really be allowed to comment.

You probably know who you are.

Slip on footwear
Slacks
Skinny jeans
Bow ties, unless in formal dress
‘Comedy’ ties. Especially when in formal dress
Jacket and jeans
Pantalons de Nimes in general
Hipsters. All of them

Not truckers caps old man they are New era

they are definitely old hat.

I wear camo stuff all the time

&

I do refuse to wear DPM

DOES NOT COMPUTE!

And you do look a tit wearing it.

Correct..

Girls who, irrespective of whether they’re a size 8 or a size 26, insist on wearing trousers / skirts / bras a size too small so that the rest of their body bubbles out of the edge like a muffin.

a friend of mines son came home and was talking all street innit blud and wearing one of those cretin caps.
so he asked his son why he was talking like that when he lived in Fulham and went to a very good school?
he then whipped the precious gold sticker off his cap.
son went ballistic. 😆
this was a couple of years ago, he’s now grown up and doesn’t wear cretin hats or show off his underwear in public anymore. 🙄

Short sleeve shirts. They always look awful unless they’re fitted really well.

Sun glasses pushed up into the hair. Wear the bloody things or don’t.

Sun glasses pushed up into the hair. Wear the bloody things or don’t.

So if I want to go into a dark shop on a sunny day, do I need to take my sunglasses home first ?

Or do I wear my sunnies in the dark shop and stumble around knocking into stuff.

Can ladies actually technically resemble bell-ends?

Sticky-up hair and stupid pointy shoes. Usually combined with a cocky strut and the job title “trainee estate agent”.

Or do I wear my sunnies in the dark shop and stumble around knocking into stuff.

I think (according to the bell-ends’ rulez of not looking like a bell-end anyway), that you may then breach the wearing-sunglasses-indoors rule, in which case, it might be an idea to carry your case around with you into which you can insert your sunnies if you’re headed indoors.

The case must not make an unsightly bulge in your front pocket though.

Can ladies actually technically resemble bell-ends?

Sticky-up hair and stupid pointy shoes. Usually combined with a cocky strut and the job title “trainee estate agent”

FTFY

Edit: Aw, I feel bad now, they’ve got to earn a living I guess. It’s probably just the bell-ends in the industry, and the mobile phone industry, and vets that pretend they give a crap about tiddles but don’t (you can actually see them counting insurance claims in their head), and NEW car salesmen. In fact give anyone a job that involves controlling something important to other people, and there’s a disproportionately large amount of bell-ends.

I’ve never met a patronising librarian.

he then whipped the precious gold sticker off his cap.

I would have loved to have seen that, the biggest new era no no alongside bending the peak.
Mine are all sticker less and with bent peaks. I love my cretin caps.

Short sleeve shirts. They always look awful unless they’re fitted really well.

Can I present you with a non-fitted short-sleeved shirt tucked into chinos?

What a bell-end! (Although I know what you mean 🙂 )

nealglover – Member

Sun glasses pushed up into the hair. Wear the bloody things or don’t.

So if I want to go into a dark shop on a sunny day, do I need to take my sunglasses home first ?

Or do I wear my sunnies in the dark shop and stumble around knocking into stuff.

Oh, it’s acceptable for a short period, for practical reasons. Maybe for checking a map, or perhaps while adjusting one’s cravat in a mirror for example. What I object to is wearing them like that for a longer periods when it’s not necessary. Especially if they are prominently branded by Jaguar, Armani etc.

Jaguar make sunglasses?

Would you like me to close the thread there?

Someone trying to speak “hip hop” with American accent … problem is they are in GeordieLand 😆 They were so loud I thought they were going to start some sort of race riot … 😆

Jaguar make sunglasses?

Yours for a hundred quid.
I doubt very much they make them themselves though!

The whole of the West End of Glasgow’s organic loving, coffee drinking in a bar on a Saturday night, spreading the Guardian across the whole **** bar, suit jacket and jean wearing, silly adopted accents, body warmer to Waitrose, walking around Byres road aimlessly with a baguette, christmas tree lights round their mirrors in the middle of summer **** faces.

(technically, i live in the west end, but no one who lives in my area would ever accept that. We are an island in the middle of a sea of wannabe Scottish Sloane Rangers).

Has no one suggested look at my …jolly…red trousers yet?

I’d link but it’s a bit sweary.

Oh blimey. I went into a pub at lunchtime … on my own but with my bike. Some females were gawping at me, they stopped talking so can only assume they were admiring my 5:10’s. 😆

Not forgetting the funny shorts or the knee-length socks. 😳 😆

I’m not really able to contribute a sartorial observation as such, which is rather surprising when you consider how gut wrenchingly cool I am..

I guess that we all live in glass houses on that front, without exception..

Pointy shoes aka clown shoes

Private number plate

‘Sport socks’ when riding a road bike

Top shirt button done up

Top two shirt buttons undone

Knee length stripey socks

Met ff lids

tri bars

A thread about fashion on STW, fail.

The forum here is excellent and the quality of advice always great but no way will I be taking any fashion tips from here 😆

Reading this thread makes me think you all wear “blue harbour” from M&S.

Dear God.

bikebouy – Member

Reading this thread makes me think you all wear “blue harbour” from M&S.

Dear God.

pleased I’m not the only one!

Pointy shoes aka clown shoes

Thank the lord it’s not just me who realises how stupid those things look. Ooh, I must be in fashion in my office, so what is everyone wearing? Oh, shoes with big long pointy toes that look 3 sizes too big. Great. Must pop down to Jones’s and get a pair of those babies. 😥

Attractive women who wear baggy jeans.

WooHoo!……I’ve finally achieved the lofty height of aspirational “bell-end” fashionista of STW – can i get a certificate or something?.

Age 41, pretty much only wear 3/4’s such as Endura MT500’s, Sugoi etc, i don’t own any trousers but i do own a few pairs of Replay/Howies jeans….and a few pairs of Combats including a pair of the Bear Grylls craghopper trousers.
I only own trainers and a couple of pairs of hiking boots – never owned any shoes.
I wear Hoodies quite a lot, some of them are branded with such terms as “Milwaukee Bicycle Co” – i’ve never been to Milwaukee but i have bought plenty of bike stuff from BensCycles so i get away with wearing a Hoodie promoting the shop.
I have a few Gilets, one is a Rab Neutrino with half a dozen bits of small black duct tape attached in various places as i’ve ripped the pertex shell a few times and scattered fine down everywhere, also got an old Rohan down Gilet that i use up the garage in the wintertime as it’s **** cold up there and i’ve recently bought a cheap Quicksilver premium Gilet with primaloft insulation.
I like wearing my Endura Cuttle sunglasses whenever i’m out as the orange persimmon lens makes the world look rosy and warm on dull days.
I own a nice merino scarf that i use in the winter, with my Gilet, sometimes i may decide a merino buff is more suitable whilst wearing a long sleeved merino top, for the lower half i may favour combats or even my 3/4’s and trainers, i have even wore a merino beanie and had my Endura glasses on at the same time – do i get extra “bell-end” points for this very fashionable ensemble?.

Tomorrow i shall try my hardest to dress to impress……….I’m surprised the girls aren’t beating my door down….I’ve not even had a knock at it?.

I saw an old bloke wearing one of these

The only words to sum him up were “Bell End!”

My pet hate are the cyclist who have zip ties on there helmets in Oz to stop magpie attacks. I alway ask if they can get the world service on them.

see below

http://www.theweeklycycle.com/2012/10/magpie-swooping-season.html

Loling @ essay response

Whether the first impression of someone is either positive or negative depending upon their attire, when they start to speak with a rising inflection, they are most certainly a complete dickhead.