Your best work email typo?

This appeared in my inbox and that of about 100 others. It’s too good not to share! The poor guy even felt the need to send a correction note :

I was once working on an multiple company acquisition and because of the nature of the deal, each entity that was being acquired had a colour codename to avoid accidentally mentioning the wrong name and buggering up the deal.

I had an “asset schedule” that I needed to send out in relation to the company named “Black” , so I just scanned it in and then emailed it out.

Problem was, our old scanner used to shorten whatever file name you entered.

So instead of “Black Asset Schedule”, I sent out an email with an attachment titled “Black_Ass” to about 5 banks and a load of lawyers, prompting a flurry of “what on earth did you just send me?! I’m not opening that”

Apparently a few were quarantined. 😳

Apologise instead of Apologies can dramatically alter how your email is taken 😆

All I will say is always pay close attention to the location of the letters T and G when typing ‘regards’.

Retards.

The ever popular Many Tanks was sent a few times.

All I will say is always pay close attention to the location of the letters T and G when typing ‘regards’.

I have been known to break out the “kind retards” on a few occasions

Also works well with ‘best’ and ‘warm’

A colleague wrote an email about coats and wellies being needed for a primary school nature walk. The autocorrect changed wellies to willies!

I hailed a bunch of testers at work as just that, sadly forgetting the r.

Letter posted to the pubic affairs department.

Dad wrote to me the other night – email headed ‘Vulvan bomber’!!
Next email ‘I meant Vulcan!!!’.

I’m always careful when typing “counts” 🙂

The “t” is awfully close to the “y” when typing busy.

A number of my property reports have referred to the location being on a “busty” road….. 😳

I’m guessing Freud had a theory about that….

Used to work with a chap who had a surname that would auto-correct to Cadaver. Not one to get wrong. That often…… 😳

Not a typo as such but I once had an email from a supplier who we were moving away from blatantly admitting to purposefully delaying the move…. Followed by a very quick recall attemp… They lost a deal worth about 1.5 million, and definitely won’t be getting it back any time soon!

as mentioned briefly above, Kind Retards has slipped though my net more than once 😀

Bigger and bugger. Who put u and i next to each other on the ketbard?

A director at work is 5 foot 4 on a good day.

I’ve called him Tiny twice in emails. I now triple check I’ve got an ‘o’ in there.

Yes I have very nearly instant messaged a female colleague in another office asking: “are you busty?”

At a previous job my boss’ boss’ boss’ boss was called Tony. He was also about 4’10” and built like an underweight Jockey. So of course, on the one occasion I had reason to email him, I opened with “Dear Tiny”.

Do the ‘i’ and the ‘o’ really have to be next to each other on the keyboard?

From our IT dept – ‘Can all staff shit down their computers before leaving as we need to take a look at them tonight.’

Shropshite, once, never to be repeated. 😀

From our IT dept – ‘Can all staff shit down their computers before leaving as we need to take a look at them tonight.’

Is your IT dept run by the policeman from allo allo?

Mine was sending an email to a very nice lady called Andi Haughton where autocorrect changed it to Andi Hotrod. She asked my colleagues and I for about a month “what have you heard about me?” which, frankly, only made us suspicious.

Not an accidental typo as such, but early word versions had a function where you could set up an autocorrect for words you habitually mis spell. A colleague of mine was an avid user of written reports, and spent a lot of his workday dealing with licensed premises. One day he left his computer logged on and I set the autocorrect to change “premises” to “penises”. As a hunt and peck typist he sent several reports about visiting the penises in question to the local authority licensing department. The lovely woman who was the regular recipient of his reports fortunately had a great sense of humor.

He realised it was me when I set the computer to autocorrect his signature to Chaz Slaphead.

A colleague of mine was an avid user of written reports, and spent a lot of his workday dealing with licensed premises. One day he left his computer logged on and I set the autocorrect to change “premises” to “penises”.

Brilliant.

I used to work with a lass called Smeena. Lotus Notes (kill me now) had an autocorrect which insisted on changing it to “Semen.”

Oh, and,

A mate had a vanity domain which accepted emails in the form of anything@domain.com. We had a sort of mailing list group going at the time, swapping jokes and natter pre-forums. I took it upon myself to start mailing him at shitforbrains@domain.com. Not only did he not notice, he didn’t twig it was his own domain and added the address to his distribution group for mailouts.

You guys know about the keyboard shortcut thing on iPhones? You can basically get it autocorrect any word to another.

Hours of fun with the wife’s phone 🙂

“Kind retards” is pretty common I think. But I used it in an email to Mencap.

It’s not an email, but we used to have access to a fault logging database, which we could add details to but not amend. So one day, while simultaneously posting on a motorbike forum and adding a fault to the logger, I copy-pasted this as my fault report:

Oh yes, I’ve described myself as being ‘busty’ instead of busy.
I’ve started a few emails with Ho instead of Hi.

I copy-pasted this as my fault report:

Win.

I work in construction and – without fail – whenever I intend to type ‘roller shutters’ it comes out as ‘roller shitters’.

I’ve told a female colleague I had a long lust just for her before.

The comedy value wears off when your client at Angus Council says he is tired of being referred to as the man from Anus…

Thanks autocorrect…

Ha! Similar to vickypea’s post – I work in pre-school and there was much hilarity when a previous supervisor sent out a newsletter to parents requesting that any spare willies be sent in as they would be most useful during wet play 😆

Back in 1999, I sent an email to every member of staff at a mid-sized UK bank (about 20,000 people) to outline what we were doing to mitigate the Y2K “threat”. It was headlined “Stepping on the Millennium Bog”

My all time classic from quite a few years back…..

Meeting invite sent to a female software analyst\developer

Intended text “Myself and a few of the project developers are meeting tomorrow to evaluate a solution and would appreciate your expertise”.

Was in a hurry, mistyped “evaluate” which got auto-corrected to “ejaculate” by Lotus Notes. 10 years later I still get slagged about it 🙂

Right up there with the network guy in work who was checking floor ports and asked a female employee if he could quickly crawl under her desk and check her box !!!

Both very red faced (though saw the funny side) as soon as he said it and immediately realised what he’d said.

We had a secretary in one place I worked who’d type up advisory letters we generated, either in writing or on dictaphones (yes, actually, it was a while ago). We thought she was in on the “please hesitate to contact us again” joke but turns out she’d been faithfully typing and sending exactly that for months 😳

… and I had another job where the email service was set to spellcheck, autocorrect and then send. It was a month or two before I realised that my emails had changed my boss’s name from Ian to Ann and the company name was also wrong.

I’m a bit more careful with proof-reading and auto settings now

Sent an email with the words ‘data count’ in the subject, managed to miss out the ‘o’.

I’d have been more embarrassed by the misuse of “Myself”, Feed.

I copy-pasted this as my fault report:

I’m a big fan of including images to get a point across. Earlier this week I sent out an email conveying good news with an inline picture of Professor Farnsworth.