"You can't polish a turd" and other sayings

So many sayings that are simply not true and are used daily.

Zulus Polished Cows dung for flooring as it dries hard and smooth even has some sort repellent towards certain insects.

Come on what other rubbish sayings are there?

I dont know about rubbish sayings but I know about rubbish topics 🙂

To die for (go on then be my guest)

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush!?!

thats a good saying surely?

A hand in the bush and who cares about the other bird

put lipstick on a pig … it's still a pig

don't look at the mantle piece when poking the fire

it's not the size of the nail but the hammer that hits it

cover the face and **** the base

every hole's a goal

can sprinkle glitter on a dog sh1t…..

All good things come to he who waits

not true at all.

you can't polish a turd…
but you can roll it in glitter

All good things must come to an end
An apple a day keeps the doctor away
An army marches on its stomach

also not true

Rarer than horses teeth

"cheap as chips" 😕

er, Dave, i've never heard anyone say that until now…

The Titanic wasn't sunk in a day

Cleanliness is next to godliness

Nope!!!

The Titanic wasn't sunk in a day

Never heard that one before

Rarer than horses teeth

Hens.

I'm going to split hair, in the true spirit of STW pedantry, because I'm bored. A floor made of dung is not a "turd", it is a floor.

"A turd" is a dollop of faecal matter, broadly speaking having the form it is given by the process of being expelled from the rectum. It is questionable whether it is properly applied to something too liquid to retain its shape. Using the term to describe, say, a slurry pit would be inaccurate. A slurry pit may contain matter which used to be turds, but it is not itself a turd, and it probably does not contain turds either as they will havee been broken down into an amorphous mass, losing their shape and individual identity. Using the epxression to describe a floor made of dried faecal matter is likewise inaccurate.

It remains true that you cannot polish a turd. I accept that you can polish a floor, even if it is made of dried faecal matter. Clearly, the expression "you cannot polish a floor" isn't a thing. If it was, I agree that it would be manifestly incorrect. 🙂

Fail on the OP. It's actually "however much you polish a turd, it's still a turd"

Hens.

Rarer than horse's hens?

Crime doesn't pay

Well it seems to doesnt it?

I'm going to split hair,

Pretty stupid saying right there. How do you split a hair?

Good things come in small packages.

No, good things come in bike sized packages.

like a chipmonk on acid

it's not the size of your cock, it's the speed of your arse

I thought the phrase "You can't polish a turd" meant that you can "French it" (by adding a moustache), "American it" by putting it in a long roll, so you could "Polish it" by giving it some vodka?

Fail on the OP. It's actually "however much you polish a turd, it's still a turd"

That's not the same saying and not a very common one.

I give you Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

The American habit of saying "I could care less", when they mean that they could not care less.

You are what you eat

The STW habit of saying "epic all dayer", when they mean a 4 and a half hour (most of which is spent at a pub) bimble on a popular cycling route.

organic – the "bird" saying is actually pretty logical. It means (literally) the bird you've killed (that you can eat) is worth more than the 2 birds you haven't/can't kill(ed) (and therefore can't eat).

Or more broadly – be thankful for what you've got 🙂

Probably….

You can't have your cake and eat it.

organic – the "bird" saying is actually pretty logical. It means (literally) the bird you've killed (that you can eat) is worth more than the 2 birds you haven't/can't kill(ed) (and therefore can't eat).

I would much rather have 2 birds in a bush.

A pub in Bristol had "one in the hand is worth 2 in Kate Bush" written on the wall. I'm not sure that's right.

you wont catch me with me trousers

Or a bird with 2 bushes – freaky 😆

Cheap at half the price.

Well of course it is!

Hanging on for grim death.

Eh?

Every woman has a right to be ugly, but she just abuses the privilege.

You can't have your cake and eat it.

Yes you can, especially after a good ride 😀

i saw a mythbusters where they polished a turd. it came out, erm, shiny.
"in my humble opinion" is one i think is sh1t, generally said by people with very little humility.

I'm going to split hair, in the true spirit of STW pedantry, because I'm bored. A floor made of dung is not a "turd", it is a floor.

So when someone asks you what kind of wood your floor is you'd say "Floor, it's no longer wood it's made of floor!"