[Closed] worst film ever .......

Yep. 100% agree. Furthermore a genre film, say Dog Soldiers or The Descent, or whatever is going to be more concerned with horror/atmosphere/gore/effects than they will continuity, realism etc.

Yet people still gleefully wax lyrical at the drop of a hat about how amazing Dogegg Soldiers is. It's not, it's crap. Bad Taste is how a terrible film should be done.

Surely Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull deserves a mention? Endless pointless CGI effects, awful acting, just utter rubbish. What was Harrison Ford thinking of?

One of many "lets see if the corpse will twitch" follow-ups of that time. See also Die Hard 4.0, Rambo, Die Hard Again But Even Crapper, Rocky Balboa, A Good Day to Just **** Off and Die etc.

* I now know that the Netflix star ratings are posted by under 16s

Nope, just vindictive gits like me who like to give the worst imaginable crap 5 star ratings 😀

Alien 3 is interesting. If you read about the production, the development process that led to the final film it's fascinating stuff. If you're interested in that kind of thing of course.

David Fincher is a fantastic film maker and had a very clear vision of what he wanted. The studio and producers had very different ideas. It's amazing it's as good as it is.

Watching the two cuts is like watching two completely different films, Finchers cut made so much more sense. Alien Resurrectiojn suffered from the same thing IIRC.

(and can I just add that I'm glad we are referring to them all as films and not 'movies').

After years of Hollywood corruption I'm now making a conscious effort to re-train my brain into defaulting to English again.

Quite. Also, it's a film or video. Not an "edit".

Malvern Rider

DO NOT SPEAK ILL OF KURT RUSSELL!

Iron Sky

Really? It's supposed to be crap, like really crap. It just ahd a better budget than Sharktopus (if you've not seen Sharktopus you REALLY should. It's awful. Hilariously so.)

bad even by the standards of "films with Jeff Bridges".

[img] [/img]
You what?

I think Roadhouse falls in to the 'so bad it's good category'.

Anything written or made by woody allen.

entourage the movie

The Mist

There Will be Blood

Contact

There Will be Blood

Now you're just trolling.

I watched Sharknado 2 last night. It just had to be done.

Can't wait for Sharknado 3.... 🙂

Now you're just trolling.

Nope, it's bloody awful.

Nope, you just didn't like it.

Nope, you just didn't like it.

Ah Ok I guess you know better than me then because I thought it was awful.

There Will Be Blood wasn't the worst film ever by any stretch, but it was a hell of a lot more boring than I expected.

There Will Be Blood wasn't the worst film ever by any stretch, but it was a hell of a lot more boring than I expected.

Ah Ok I guess you know better than me then because I thought it was awful.

Well, it's big of you to acknowledge it. Quite surprising, too.

Jupiter Ascending - Earth and other planets are essentially bees hives; at some point harvested some sort of life giving elixir. All owned by a galactic royal family, their 'king' has died leaving the siblings arguing over the inheritance. There's a girl on earth who's special for some reason.... Then I questioned why I was trying to follow this storyline that was really stupid and hard to follow, so turned it off.

Oh wait another.

Noah.

My god that was awful I didn't last 20 minutes.

I used to rely on the presence of Jack Nicholson as a reliable indicator that a film wouldn't be awful. Until I saw Wolf.

Highlander 2 is still worse though.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0236157/

Disco Pigs

Poster says "90 Minutes You will never forget", genuinely only movie I have ever walked out of at the cinema, so it was about 40 minutes I will never forget.

Possibly not the absolute worst film ever but for something that was hyped up and got good reviews Gangs of New York was an absolute shocker .

Matilda (1978)
We were on a Family ski trip to the Alpes, by coach.
The other coach in the convoy were watching ET which we hadn't seen and all our rep had was this film about a boxing kangaroo struggling to get recognition from the boxing association!

[url=

Cougar - Moderator
GTFO, Highlander is awesome.

Absolutely.

Highlander 2 on the other hand ... That gets my vote. It's the only film I've seen at the cinema where I was ready to walk out of. I only wish I had. I stayed to see if it got better, but it didn't. Bonkers how the same director came up with such an utter turd to follow up an excellent film, and manages to be an insult to the first by rewriting the events in such a puerile way.

Matilda (1978)
We were on a Family ski trip to the Alpes, by coach.

Carry On Don't Lose Your Head
We were going on a ski trip, by coach and this was brought by someone. Not sure if that was the same year we had Braveheart running on a perpetual loop as well. FML.

Not sure if Apocalypse Snow was any worse but it was at least amusing to see monoboarders get a good kicking.

Flatliners. What a load of tosh .

squirrelking - Member
Carry On Don't Lose Your Head
We were going on a ski trip, by coach and this was brought by someone

I recall a school trip on a coach and we got Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.

Not entirely awful plus it's watchable for cheesy bad film comical value now. Also interesting to spot Milton Keynes locations doubling for Metropolis 😆

[i]Can't wait for Sharknado 3.... [/i]

I caught the first 15 minutes of Sharknado 3 on Monday night. Erm, well, wow.

Little Fockers.

Enjoyed the first Meet the Fockers, the second was ok but this 👿

Clearly scripted to allow the film to cash in by churning out a title without actually having to get the cast together - almost all of the scenes/shots involve people in different locations so that they can be spliced together and the storyline is as you'd expect. And Robert De Niro doesn't even have the decency to look embarrassed.

Without reading the previous 8 pages to see if anyone else correctly guessed the worst film ever..

The answer is

OPEN WATER

Case closed.

Uniting two threads - this and the Liam Neesan one - Battleship is presently on 4. We've opted to watch it because it looks spectacularly awful! It's living up to expectations so far!

Diana, starring Naimoi Watts - I put it on when my mother came around, because she loves royalty. Even she said it was 'a bit dull'. I'd never been so happy to see the Eiffel Tower!

I think the Human Centipede would have been more entertaining.

[quote=binners ]Uniting two threads - this and the Liam Neesan one - Battleship is presently on 4. We've opted to watch it because it looks spectacularly awful! It's living up to expectations so far!I've watched that and couldn't make up my mind whether they really were playing it as a spoof.

Quite enjoyed Battleship 😕

I just knew this was going to be resurrected with a reference to battleship when I saw it on the front page. I agree it's utter trip but quite enjoyable tripe. I mean doing a handbrake turn in a battleship after hot wiring it, genius.

deadkenny - Member
squirrelking - Member
Carry On Don't Lose Your Head
We were going on a ski trip, by coach and this was brought by someone
I recall a school trip on a coach and we got Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.
Not entirely awful plus it's watchable for cheesy bad film comical value now. Also interesting to spot Milton Keynes locations doubling for Metropolis
POSTED 2 DAYS AGO # REPORT-POST

Ha.... I was in that film. Some scenes were shot at our school.... I was in an American football scene. We had Christopher reeve swinging from a crane in our sports field for a week. Truly terrible film.

 

Anybody seen United passions yet?

My vote goes to one of the below

Quantum of Solace
Goal
Goal 2
Goal 3
Dredd
Transformers: age of extinction

I'm very tempted to put Interstellar on my list. 3 hours of dragged out painfully slow rubbish, given I figured out what was going on within about 20 minutes I'm not sure why I continued.

Just throwing Titanic 2 in there. Was a great laugh though

Cliffhanger
Armageddon
GI Joe
Jupiter Rising

All truly bad. Mrs Sandwich still owes for making me sit through the 2 in the middle when going through the Bruce Willis oeuvre. I'm responsible for us sitting through the last one.

EDIT I forgot Vertical Limit

The answer is surely one of the following...

The Grey OR
That bloody awful film with the friends stuck on the chair lift

The test being I could never sit through either again - and I have watched Starship Troopers and Judge Dredd more than once so I am cinematically very tough (before someone impugns my judgement I would highlight I don't think those films are good they are the cinematic equivalent to a bush tucker trial).

Starship Troopers and Judge Dredd more than once so I am cinematically very tough (before someone impugns my judgement I would highlight I don't think those films are good they are the cinematic equivalent to a bush tucker trial).

Both are excellent genre pieces. They know their audience and they cater to them, but still manage put together a decent, entertaining film, with a reasonable cohesive plot.

Something like Gigli, which has genuine reasons to be called the worst film ever fails so miserably in even the most basics of comedy, editing, direction etc that it make stuff like Starships Troops look Oscar worthy.

I lasted about 15mins of Battleship before turning it off.

Without reading the previous 8 pages to see if anyone else correctly guessed the worst film ever..
The answer is
LOVE ACTUALLY
Case closed.

I enjoyed Battleship. Twice. There I said it!

garage-dweller

The test being I could never sit through either again - and I have watched Starship Troopers and Judge Dredd more than once so I am cinematically very tough (before someone impugns my judgement I would highlight I don't think those films are good they are the cinematic equivalent to a bush tucker trial).

I went to see Starship Troopers the night it opened in a packed cinema here in Belfast. My friend and I screamed and laughed the whole way through it, seemingly much to the annoyance of everyone else who all sat in stoney silence. On the way out I've never heard an audience moan so much about a film.

I don't know if a lot of people get satire, or if it was just too subtle for them. Or perhaps they couldn't see through cheezey sheen. Anyway, their loss. It's an absolutely brilliant film. It's simultaneously a sci-fi action movie, a meditation on the futility of war, a deconstruction of propaganda films (whilst itself functioning perfectly as one) and a critique of America's increasing deification of their military.

Flubber - with the late, great, Robin Williams
Or Grown Ups 2

I thought Lost In Translation was painfully slow. Until I saw the first half hour of Warm Bodies on Film4 tonight. Jeez, the film was slower than the zombies !

jimjam - spot on about Starship Troopers.

And, Mamma Mia.

I'm very tempted to put Interstellar on my list. 3 hours of dragged out painfully slow rubbish, given I figured out what was going on within about 20 minutes

You are Stephen Hawking and I claim my £5

jimjam - spot on about Starship Troopers.

/nods.

You are Stephen Hawking and I claim my £5

No it was obvious who was sending the messages, it took a bit longer to work out how and wasn't exactly right but close enough.

Really not sure why this thread is continuing when several people have already posted: Pearl Harbour.

I mean, really? Even hand-rubbed Nepalese couldn't make it bearable. It took actual pauses and motivating talks for us to finish that tripe.

Starship Troopers had a lot of good element (I like the way that they had rolling news in a gleefully over-the-top way), but the biggest problem I had with it was that it was just _so_ unlike the spirit of the book.

I like the book, it's a very good satire that plays it straight and is stronger for it. The film didn't really do it justice and that annoyed me more than it should have done. It's not a truly bad film, it's just not something that I can justify as being eve close to an acceptable adaptation.

Battleship. Hmmm.

I saw that it was on telly the other night. Sadly, I lasted only five minutes at the start before I got angry with it and turned over.

Recently for me it was Enemy - even I managed to figure out the basic premise of it in about 10 minutes and after that was just waiting for something unexpected/thrilling to happen and it never did. 'Clever' doesn't have to be so dull.

All time? Not sure but one of them would have to be "A Serious Man", perhaps I'm just too dumb for it but I didn't have a clue what it was about most of the time (and it still didn't get much better after I'd watched it read up about the plot after). It just seemed boring and overly convoluted to me.

The Grey

I think I was only mad at it because it stopped just before you get to see Liam Neeson glassing a wolf with miniature Jack Daniels bottles. Which would be pure cinematic gold.

🙂

On Interstellar... I liked it, watched it a couple of times now and...

No it was obvious who was sending the messages, it took a bit longer to work out how and wasn't exactly right but close enough.

This ^ after watching it a second time I thought it a better view of what was going on.

Whilst I know this is a "diss" thread, I think Interstellar is actually really rather brilliant.

As to worst..

Battleship has to be up there only for the reason I sat through 20mins of it before I got so annoyed with the continuous "get me the John Paul Jones!!" shouts..

Whats a bass player out of Led Zepplin got to contribute to this film ?

Can I just throw in "Pain & Gain"?

Scraping through the online £1 DVD bargain bin that is Netflix, I decided to put this on in a fit of boredom. Michael Bay with exploding robots is terrible, take those away from him, and the result is about as bad as it can get. It's unwatchable.

Whilst I know this is a "diss" thread, I think Interstellar is actually really rather brilliant.

Each to their own. 🙂

I thought Pain & Gain was pretty good, certainly laughed a few times...

Battleship has to be up there only for the reason I sat through 20mins of it before I got so annoyed with the continuous "get me the John Paul Jones!!" shouts..

Does anyone actually shout 'You sank my Battleship!'?

Pain and Gain definitely not the worst. Come on! Wahlberg played his character with earnest and overt enthusiasm of a sort that made things involuntarily shoot from my nose. For that at least, I salute Pain and Gain. Distasteful as it often was (based on true events) it certainly was entertaining and genuinely funny IMO.

Can I just throw in "Pain & Gain"?

Whaaaaaaaaat???

It's hilarious. You do know it's supposed to be tongue in cheek? One of the best under the radar films I've watched recently.

Seven.

I've said this before and I'll say it again. It's the only film I have ever walked out of. I think (IIRC) I got to the scene of "sloth" and almost vomited. Just too gory and too explicit for me to handle.
I realise now, not back then, that it has a horror/shock element to the film and whilst I think it probably is very well made, for me it made me feel sick.
Took ages to get over that image of the bloke in the bed.

It also took until Inglorious Basterds to accept watching a film with Brad in it..

Seven.

I've said this before and I'll say it again. It's the only film I have ever walked out of. I think (IIRC) I got to the scene of "sloth" and almost vomited. Just too gory and too explicit for me to handle.
I realise now, not back then, that it has a horror/shock element to the film and whilst I think it probably is very well made, for me it made me feel sick.
Took ages to get over that image of the bloke in the bed.

My favourite film of all time! Classic Fincher. Visually stunning, superbly acted, brutal storyline. Just superb.

Oh - just remembered (call it a 'disturbed flashback' even) Kenneth Branagh's 'Frankenstein'.

'it's a travesty!' Think I actually said it loudly in the cinema as leaving.

It wasn't art and it thought it was. It was simply a lurid display of shallow egotism. Criminal, considering the source material.

Se7en is fantastic.

Se7en is fantastic.

Yes. I think people are confusing "film I didn't like" with "worst film ever"

BoardinBob
Whaaaaaaaaat???

It's hilarious. You do know it's supposed to be tongue in cheek? One of the best under the radar films I've watched recently.

I don't know how you could describe a Micheal Bay film starring the Rock and Mark Wahlberg as under the radar but whatever. It's a wretched film. A comedy about a real life gang of con men who actually murdered several people - hilarious.

Awful acting. Awful script. Directed with the kind of wit and subtlety of every Bay film. Horrible.

wretched

Just dire.

A comedy about a real life gang of con men who actually murdered several people - hilarious

It was hilarious.

BoardinBob - Member
Se7en is fantastic.
Yes. I think people are confusing "film I didn't like" with "worst film ever"

I think you are actually right.

Yes. I think people are confusing "film I didn't like" with "worst film ever"

The two come together though. For me what is the worst film I've seen are often ones I dislike. You can have as much arty party lighting, big actors and directors you want it can still be crap.

@ binners

Hold the phone. All bets are off. Kiss the wife goodnight, the party's over. This actually is the worst film ever:

[img] [/img]

It's just come up on Netflix, and it is a whole new level of badness that has to be seen to be believed (if seeing it wasn't a hate crime against yourself)

what film?

The two come together though. For me what is the worst film I've seen are often ones I dislike. You can have as much arty party lighting, big actors and directors you want it can still be crap.

Sure they come together, but not as often as people think they do. You not liking a film doesn't make it the worst film ever made: It has to fulfil a whole load of other criteria before it achieves that benchmark.

Weird, that link seemed to work at first. Anyway:

[img] [/img]

9 pages and nobody mentioned Cloverfield

Buried: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1462758/

It's just a chap in a box for the entire film, nothing else at all. People walked out the Cinema.

will

It's just a chap in a box for the entire film, nothing else at all. People walked out the Cinema.

I walked out of The Hurt Locker. Titanic. Transformers, and the second one (slow learner). Plenty of others too, but not nearly enough.

Green Street is the worst film ever. so bad i cant even bring myself to watch Sons of Anarchy coz [i]he's[/i] in it.

Left Behind got a mighty 2% on [url= http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/left_behind_2014/ ]Rotten Tomatoes[/url]. That's for to be hard to beat, hasn't it? 🙂

shermer75

Left Behind got a mighty 2% on Rotten Tomatoes. That's for to be hard to beat, hasn't it?

Not having a go at you shermer, but does anyone actually give a damn about rotten tomatoes? It just strikes me as a kind of lowest common denominator score.

My vote, like many others is Highlander 2.

I really liked the first Highlander, possibly because I was looking down on the battle scene between the clans when climbing in Glencoe.

Say what you like about TopGun, but it's brilliant when dubbed into Japanese ! 🙂

And we haven't even got going on musicals yet....!

My vote is for Top Gun - the only film I walked out if. Formulaic, look-at-me utter carp.