Work and Kids – how to do it?

So I have a job, a child and an ex girlfriend. The first two have been static for ~18 months, the girlfriend to ex girlfriend transition is a fairly new one.

My problem is that I can’t see how on earth i’m supposed to look after my little girl and hold down a job. I’m on probation at work for another 8 weeks or so as its a new job so can’t be asking for too many favours from them and it’s doing my head in trying to arrange ‘interim’ child care between when the child minder finishes and a time i can reasonably get home.

Thursday and Friday nights my little girl comes and stays with me – Child minder is currently contracted until 17:30 which is when i’m contracted to finish work, in Manchester about 30 mins cycle away.

Obvious solution would be to extend the child minder to 18:15 or something (as thats a time i could fairly reliably get there for barring punctures etc) however, her current bed time, and bed time the rest of the week when she’s with her mum is about 18:30.

So, single STW dads that work and see your young kids, how does it work.. am I doing something wrong or missed anything obvious?

I’ve not even gone in to the shenannigans that are going to have to take place in the mornings – suffice to say my former father in law is a legend!

I ended up going part time about 8 months ago, which was a little odd at first. But kids are happier as am I, my 2 are with me week on week off, so the week I dont have them a little overtime here and there and more time on the bike. Seems to be plenty of groups/support out there for the ladies, but cant find anything for the blokes, well not in my area anyway. Just keep plodding along it will work itself out eventually.

7 is not an unreasonable bed time.

Adjust the bedtime by a few minutes to achieve your work/life balance. Children are very adaptable, no permanent damage will be done!

Good luck.

Not single,but because wife teaches (university) , in term time I have to do a fair few pickups and things. I’m part time, and flexible working, I often leave work at four, but catch up with emails or writing things later, I think work get a good deal from me, but I am able to do my fair share and look after the daughter. I work four days. One day off a week is a brilliant thing if you can swing it. My take home pay dropped about 16 or 17%, but it’s totally worth it.

If you pick up at 1815, presumably kid will have had dinner, so a 7pm bed time doesn’t seem too unlikely and that’s only half an hour difference, ours has half an hour or more difference in bed time depending on how tired she is.

I am with the adjusted bedtime option. 7:00 is not a bad time to be putting the little one down. Good luck.

Depending on your job, your bosses attitude and how well the probation is going they may well consider letting you away at 5pm on a thurs and fri – either starting or finishing a earlier/later on other days. Won’t work with all jobs; not all employers understand.

If its 30 mins cycle would it be quicker if you drove? The reason many people drive rather than cycle, walk, bus, train is because it makes the realities of modern life such as child care easier to work with.

Depending how the gf to ex-gf transition went she may be understanding / supportive enough to collect from childminder and look after until you get home even if only for the next 8 weeks until you feel more secure having the discussion with your employer. Obviously she may hate you and love any suggestion you are incapable of looking after your daughter yourself!

The other option is to pick childcare which is closer to place of work than your home. Then you can collect immediately after work.

Work are being pretty good, on the days I’m in work for 0830 every day and they’ve just given me an extra half days holiday cos I was up till 10ish last night supporting west coast clients.

The plan once i’m settled in at work is to work from home Thursday and/or Friday which will pretty much eliminate the problem, at least at one end.

I’d love to go part time but i’d probably end up working anyway 😀

Can’t believe so many have gone part time to sort this problem… If we hadnt moved up here to be closer to her family (who are admittedly being ace) I’d have just moved near to my retired parents who’d bite my arm off to look after her all week!

I’d have just moved near to my retired parents who’d bite my arm off to look after her all week!

I think your long term solution is right there…

We have difficulty juggling it between 2 of us with late nights and on call and weekend duties and while my wife is away for over a month working at the Olympics this summer I have had to book holiday and engineer swaps and avoid any on call.

Will be a great time with the wee lad though. Just can’t work out how it will work when he goes to school though. Was off on Wednesday as I am every other week and they were coming out of school at 3! Crikey it’s been a while but I’m sure I finished school at 4.

I would say to alter the bed time, won’t make a huge difference and can balance it till you get more settled at work. If you are good, most places will try to accommodate your childcare needs and I think most places are getting better at this for blokes too.