Why don't parents say 'no'?

Talking recently to my sister who said she didn’t want my nephew to have a mobile at the age of 10 but she’s given in because all his friend’s parents have bought one.
A few days later another friend said exactly the same.
Today my best friend phoned to say she doesn’t want to buy her 2 boys all the latest gadgets but she feels pressurised into by all the other parents.
Finally my cousin said the same thing regarding his 2 children last month.

So, why aren’t these parents who all seem to be singing off the same hymn sheet just saying ‘no’ and being the first to set a trend?

Because they want to fit in with all the cool parents.

if you ask my kids all I ever say is no (across a range of volumes depending on the situation). I’ve no issues in stopping/not letting them do something just because everyone else is doing it.

Go back 100 years and they were saying the same thing about shoes.

I’ve always though that the inability to say ‘no’ is how most people get into the parenthood mess in the first place.

If they had said “no” in the first instance, they wouldn’t now find themselves having to deal with this first world problem.

My kids will get phones when they start secondary school. He knows this and is fine with it. Having fun watching other parents cave in early.

Talking recently to my sister who said she didn’t want my nephew to have a mobile at the age of 10 but she’s given in because all his friend’s parents have bought one.

it seems like a big deal at the time but they soon forget about it. Often goes full circle because its the wrong kind or it no longer cool to have one

Win-win to say no

Having fun watching other parents cave in early.

or maybe they just don’t give a shit?

My daughter is 10 – and only a couple of her friends have mobile phones. She’ll get a phone when she starts secondary school.

They all have a tablet/iPod of some sort though (ours included) and communicate constantly via FaceTime and text.

So, why aren’t these parents who all seem to be singing off the same hymn sheet just saying ‘no’ and being the first to set a trend?

It’s when parents don’t have particularly great reasons for saying no in the first place, or they would prefer a certain thing didn’t happen but it’s really not that bad if it does.

“Mum, can I have a .22 rifle?” Obvious not, most parents would hold out on that one.

“Mum, can I have a Nintendo DS?” Well no, because they are expensive and some vague waffle about attention spans and socialising, but really we know they aren’t that evil really so our resolve isn’t all that strong….

My kid is 10 and has a smart phone – stops him nicking mine all the time 🙂

We got our daughter a phone when she started making her own way to and from school and sometimes stopped in the park with her friends to play (she was about 9).

With most of this sort of thing we tend to buy it based on need rather than an arbitrary age/life event.

My kid is 10 and has a smart phone – stops him nicking mine all the time

I did the same with my porn.

but she feels pressurised into by all the other parents.

Thankfully mrshora is quite ‘Yorkshire’ in her thinking. She sees swimming lessons and riding his bike as more important than toys.

One thing I’d like to look into is a tracking device (not a phone) – if they ever make one small enough to fit into the lining of clothing etc.

Uncle Solo said no to a mobile phone and continues to do so. Of course, this should have brought about the end of the world by now. I’m still waiting.

I reckon there was less harm done saying no, on this one.
😐

if they ever make one small enough to fit into the lining of clothing etc.

Intramuscular Spot tracker anyone?

She sees swimming lessons and riding his bike as more important than toys.

My daughter must be very gifted then, as she swims, rides bikes and uses an iPad and smart phones – often all in the same day!

she swims, rides bikes and uses an iPad

The modern Triathlon 🙂

Why don’t parents say no? Because saying yes is the easiest way to a quiet life I guess.

One thing I’d like to look into is a tracking device (not a phone) – if they ever make one small enough to fit into the lining of clothing etc.

Hora – how about this?

My daughter must be very gifted then, as she swims, rides bikes and uses an iPad and smart phones – often all in the same day!

Oh we dont have lectricity in these parts. The light disk in the sky bringeth light.

one of the first things i’m going to buy my kid is a rifle, best way to avoid bullying by far.

i’d rather my kid knew the safe handling of a gun from an early age than was bullied, the knock-on effects of bullying are well documented… most bullying victims either commit suicide, end up working in IT or worse case scenario, end up working as a security guard. 😯

plus, i wont ever have to buy meat for my kid as it’ll hunt its own.

same as a mobile phone, when it can hunt enough meat to sell to pay for its own credit, it can buy itself a mobile phone.

these are the rules, and they will not do you wrong.

Oh dear.
🙄

about a dozen 10yr old girls that my girls play with.. always had the ”but all my friends stay up until 9.30 everynight conversation” so one night me and the mrs crumbled.. took ours round each of the other girls homes to find out what they were watching on tv just after 9.. all bar one unsurprsingly were tucked up in bed.

when the but my mates all have one conversations started with phones a similar ploy revealed 3 had phones ( one an i phone 5) two had toy phones and the others had nowt..

dont accept BS dont accept he says she says dont react to anything unless it warrants dialling 999 and life will be bliss..

@Bunnyhop – much easier to give in than make a stand.

Ours got a cheap and nasty mobile at 11 when they went to a school out of the village because the bus network is a bit flaky.

When they turned 14 they have each upgraded to cheap Android smartphones, eldest is 16 and happy with his.

Too many weak and/or lazy parents imo. Too much effort to say ‘no’ and to spell out the reasons why not. Who wants a precious brat? 😐

When ours were growing up, we did things ‘differently’ to other parents. I would say that they’re all the better for it. 😀

😉

kids are great manipulators.

some parents take the easy path.

some days its hard not too…

kids need phones. teenage girls need phones moreso.
things are a little bit differant to when folk on here were kids.

When I was young we didn’t even have the word ‘yes’.

Every now and again when we asked Father if we were due a beating and we’d hear him utter ‘aye’, or ‘thee be reet’!

And we were grateful too.

whenever you can’t be bothered to say no, just get the box of shame out the cupboard and tell your kid every time they ask a kitten/santa/baby/schoolfriend dies or something.

you lot make parenting sound difficult, chill out and accept you’re going to screw your kids up no matter how hard you try not to, its how these things work!

Its not so much that saying no to the gadgets (though the shear volume of ‘stuff’ some of my 8 year old daughters friends own is staggering).

What really gets my back up is the absolute refusal of some parents to point out to their spoiled little princes and princesses that their behavior is just not acceptable. There seems to be an entire swath of middle class, wishy-washy liberals that regard telling their offspring to bloody behave, and stop being annoying, selfish little brats, as tantamount to child abuse.

I see it all the time. They’re going to grow up to be horrible adults

the middle class is dying out binners, dont you read the news? soon we’ll be back to the good old days where tis a rich vs the poor world…. then you wont be laughing at the kids who know how to use rifles….

Why the need to say no? You sound just like your dad.

Its no big deal kids having phones. They can be cheap, disposable items (unless you buy an iphone) which are quite adequate for the kids to use to socialise and play a few games on.

Also handy to keep track of your child.

Its a part of modern life, get used to it you old gits!

Just make sure the kids understand a few ground rules, ie time limits on use, and how to look after them.

Philly – surely rifles are sparing them the real-time experience of killing. Its a bit removed. I’m teaching my kids to disembowel someone with one of these

There seems to be an entire swath of middle class, wishy-washy liberals that regard telling their offspring to bloody behave, and stop being annoying, selfish little brats, as tantamount to child abuse.

I see it all the time. They’re going to grow up to be horrible adults

Slightly off-topic, but I brought my kids up to be (mostly) polite, well behaved and respect authority.

They miss out on a lot of stuff because they don’t argue the point/push to the front etc. Sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing 🙁

its a good theory binners, but when meat supplies are low i’d prefer my kid to be able to kill from a distance instead of having to run up close and bash its skull in. saves energy, and when there’s a shortage you dont want to be expending kcals you can’t get back!

plus, the snipers are the cool ones in films, not the bumbling fools that are running about at the front getting all killed and stuff.

You’ve obviously thought this through Philly. I shall be purchasing a couple of snipers rifles for my girls

Because even if I say “no”, Madame will say “yes”, which will result in yet another tiff over junior.

The following is #2, just behind the use of “no” in the marital tiffs league:

telling their offspring to bloody behave, and stop being annoying, selfish little brats, as tantamount to child abuse

If anyone has a solution that doesn’t involve a new patio or becoming a missing person myself, do tell.

things are a little bit differant to when folk on here were kids.

How?