Which nursery? It is doing our heads in!

My wife is starting a new job that means our two girls are going into nursery for the first time. We have looked around lots of places and narrowed it down to two but neither of us can decide which should be best.

Nursery one: Lovely setting, away from roads, huge outside space, experience-based learning. But it is a good 20 minute drive each way from our house (although just down the road from my mother-in-law). It is also recommended by my nursery-owning friend (but his nurseries aren't in our local area so we can't go to him before you ask).

Nursery two: Based in the grounds of the school where my wife will be working, 10 minute walk from our house, nice atmosphere. But the outside space isn't as good – it looks over a car park and it seems a little more formulaic in its approach to care and the staff, whilst very nice, didn't quite give us the same feeling as at nursery one.

We have also heard good things from parents of children at both nurseries, both of whom are very happy.

So – do we go for the nursery we feel has the edge based on what we want from it or do we go for the one that is just that much more convenient?

(They are only going in one day a week by the way, so we won't really be expecting too much in the way of expectations of development of our girls.

HELP!

local one – 40 minutes travelling is quite a lot for small kids and they always fall asleep on the way home and are then grumpy for the rest of the day when you wake them up.

btw, whatever your views on child development the nurserys are required to follow a curriculum so there will be learning based activities.

Two, for the convenience. It seems to do a good job, your wife will pretty much be on the spot, it's only one day a week, so you're probably after a babysitting service more than anything else. At the twins' age they're not too concerned about outside space, I guess.

btw, whatever your views on child development the nurserys are required to follow a curriculum so there will be learning based activities.

I am sure there is very little in it to be fair – its just that one came across as more confident in what they were saying.

so you're probably after a babysitting service more than anything else. At the twins' age they're not too concerned about outside space, I guess.

That is fair enough, but we would want them to stay at the same nursery up till school age (by which time they will possibly be attending two or even three days a week) so we are thinking longer term in that respect.

And of course that also means that if we go to the local one, there will be much more chance that they will make friends with whom they could move up to primary school with when they are older.

is the local nursery 'attached' to the school?

transition will be easier if it is as they'll just be moving up with a group of freinds.

and as you say it'll be good for you to meet other parents too.

An extra 40 minutes on your day is going to start wearing thin pretty quickly fella. And thats assuming good days. It doesn't take into acccount the inevitable running late in the evening/early meeting/crash on the by-pass scenarios that make up our daily lives.

I take my little'un round to nursery in the bike trailer, through the park then carry on to the office. Its the perfect way to start the day.

10 minute walk?
20 minute drive?

Not much of a choice is it?

It is a secondary school it is attached to (but as it is very local to us, many kids will still be going to the local primary school). Also true about meeting other parents.

For me, it would be nursery one without question. Kids need wide open spaces.

What are the costs like?

Costs are very similar overall. Nursery one is slightly more expensive but not much.

The outside space at nursery two is the odd thing – they have a small area at the front for under twos and a much bigger and totally separate area at the back for the older kids. I would prefer they were all together – we really want the girls to be immersed in lots of activities aimed at all ages so they can find out what they like (and we aren't too worried about inevitable knocks from older kids – it is all part of their growing up).

"we aren't too worried about inevitable knocks from older kids"

the problem is that the nurseries have to be 🙁

most seem to separate them by age/size for play time (or stagger the times they're outside.

I might need to check on that – our understanding was that nursery one had them all out together (although the large space may mean they are kept separate).

Do they have see-saws? Keep kids away from them as one chopped the end of my finger off once.

I saw a see saw. Did you see a see saw?

Local one – as others have said, the closer the better, esp when they phone you up and say 'please collect X as she's vomitting/(insert other illnesses) and needs to go home'

The one BB jnr goes to is attached to the primary school and is 2 mins walk down the road – we did look at 'nicer' ones further away, but the proximity has been a god-send and she loves it to the point of not wanting to come home.

"she loves it to the point of not wanting to come home"

Always feels a bit of a betrayal that one, doesn't it 🙁

She sees a see-saw on the Sea Shore…

For me, it would be nursery one without question. Kids need wide open spaces.

Eh? What for, grazing? Launching aircraft? Staging music festivals?

So in summary – go for the local one. After all we live next to a field and have the use of a large shared garden and their grandma/grandad have a huge outdoor space so the space will only be limited for one day a week for the first year, by which time they can go into the larger outdoor space at the nursery.

Let's see if that summary works for my wife… Ta 🙂

Eh? What for, grazing?

😆

Eh? What for, grazing? Launching aircraft? Staging music festivals?
To be able to run away from the pedo nursery staff properly 😉

I would go local probably – doc jr has just moved up from a smaller nursery to it's older kids version (from 2 years upwards) and I have gone from a 5 minute walk, to a 10 minute drive and the added hassle of getting across our town. Its ok at first, but it then grates when you have to then drive onto work with an extra 15-20 minutes added to your journey.

What sort of ofsted reports do the two get? That might be something else to bear in mind (influenced our choice, and we have been very happy – although not sure if its the nursery or grandparents who have been giving him ideas about going to africa on a plane!)

Having the kids playing seperately is a good idea as the toys/play equipment will be different for the age groups.

We spent ages looking at two nurseries and eventually went for the one that felt right the first time we went in. It isn't the closest one, but it is still less than a 10min drive. Other things we considered were the opening times, catering, transport to the local school when thay are older etc etc. Some of this information is also given in the offstead report for the nurseries, one that we thought was ok had a shocking report.

At the end of the day you can always move your child between nurseries if you aren't happy.

Is it pretty much universal now for very young kids to go to nursery/pre school etc?

We took the option of the wife being a full time house-keeper/mum & never regretted it.
She liked it so much we ended up fostering once ours were in their teens

That was 20 odd years ago now & she still hasn't gone back to work – I'm sure she should be out looking for gainful employment 🙂

Is it pretty much universal now for very young kids to go to nursery/pre school etc?

I think it depends on circumstances – we decided 2.5 days a week, term time only (so she is home for a full 14 weeks a year) was a good compromise between parenting and my wife having some kind of life away from the girls.

Ofsted reports – both get similar (good) reports. Food – both have varied menus cooked onsite.

Definitely the local one.
We moved our daughter to a Nursery from a child-minder as we were moving house. But then the house move was post-poned for 3 months at 3 days notice.
I then had to travel about 15 minutes each way to collect her for 3 months.
It may not seem much, but when you are running late after/before work (which easily happens…particularly in the morning when the little darlings don't want to get in the car seat and arch their back, take longer over their breakfast, you oversleep by 5 minutes etc 8) ) those extra minutes can prove to be quite stressful.

My little boy won't be going to nursery – he's looked after by me 1 day a week, grandma 2 days a week and my good lady 2 days a week. I do worry (a little) that he might miss out on a bit of socialization (word?) but he does spend quite a bit of time with other kids so hopefully ok. Good luck with the choice Mike – I'd go local personally.

dunno if anyone else has said this, but get the care commission report on them, quite interesting reading some of them…

Of course, if you take them to the second one where your wife will be working, then you cut out the need to drive the extra distance, thus helping to reduce pollution and saving the planet for your children's future! 😀

Is that like the Ofsted one?

Of course, if you take them to the second one where your wife will be working, then you cut out the need to drive the extra distance, thus helping reduce pollution and saving the planet for your children's future!

There is that argument – and we would also get rid of the second car when we can (we have one on lease which is 100% unsuitable so need a second one to take the girls anywhere).

Send one to each, dilemma over.
Or even better, find one that's open 7 days per week.

I'd take the local one everytime, we are lucky that my work has a subsidised one which is only a couple of miles from the office but 10 miles from home. As said above having to spend 20mins each way in the car every day isn't good, there have been a few occasions when our eldest has been car sick (always within half a mile of the nursery) and they both often fall asleep on the way home. I'd also rather have the play areas seperated by age, under 2's and over 2's as 3 year olds run round at full speed and never seem to look where they are going.

Joking aside, I know of at least two families who drive their kids to a nursery/school some distance away, rather than the ones within walking distance, as the women feel the other mums 'look a bit too common'. Ignorant snobs. It's journeys like those, that add up and cause pollution, congestion and misery. Of course, they're only too quick to blame everyone else, when little Johnny develops asthma… 🙁

100% go local… I've just started taking our Daughter to Nursery this week, my wife has to be at work befor it opens so its down to me… and Believe me, you don't want 20 mins travelling on top of everything else you have to get done in a morning.

not sure if Scotland is different to Englandshire but prob same as Ofsted yes.

Sorry shonky spelling of ofsted, yes the same one.

Is the 20min drive on your way to work or in the opposite direction.

Another thing to think about is how they change between the different rooms at the nursery. The one we use move them when they are confident on their feet, starting to potty training and then the last year before they start school. The others we looked at were more age defined, they moved rooms at 1, 2 and 3.

I would love to be able to look after my kids for some portion of the week if not all, but my job and my wifes are all or nothing and our employers aren't flexible in that approach (I know they have to consider you asking etc). But the flip side of it is they are very reasonable when it comes to the kids being ill and having to take time off work to look after them.

Don't forget if you can get child care vouchers they are well worth it. Any good nursery will take them.

Surely its cheaper and easier to have a nanny come in daily?

We did 10 plus years ago, as my eldest two are only 14 months apart.

And you haven't got to get them up early either.

Worked out cheaper too.

And always remember one single wrong decision in bringing up your children and they will turn into psychotic serial killers or turn to God.