- what is the dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you?
I’m not joking TJ, both my mum and my brother asked the same question – was bizarre. Just goes to show how stereotypes are so ingrained. Apparently girls don’t ride bikes and get muddy…
Come to think of it, she also got upset the following year when, upon asking what I wanted for my birthday, I said a torque wrench. I got some jewellery.
RachelPosted 6 years agomolgripsSubscriber
“An ex Vietnam vet” I said
Talking of saying dumb things, you can’t be an ex-veteran, can you? You’re a Vietnam vet or you’re not. An ex-soldier perhaps.
Anyway, the only time I openly chuckled at someone was when we were in Hyde park standing on one side of a fence watching the squirrels, standing near an Australian couple. We exchanged a few words about the squirrels, at which point one bounded over. The chap said ‘are they dangerous?’
Bless 🙂Posted 6 years agothegreatapeMember
This summer, from an old man having so much fun on a roundabout in town he had about 4 goes
‘Sorry young man, I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to go round clockwise or anticlockwise’.
‘Ah right, well we go round them clockwise in this country. Where are you from?’.
I.Posted 6 years ago
My sister once asked for ‘a black and white printer cartridge’
I once took an escalated call from a customer whose printer didn’t print yellow. Replacement cartridges, hours on tech support, printer returned several times (no fault found).
Turned out, she was printing on yellow paper.Posted 6 years ago
A good few years ago I had an informal lodger, a mate of mine called Steve.
Dragging my carcass to the bathroom one morning, I had this hollered conversation:
Steve (shouts from his bedroom): “Argh! I’m blind! I can’t see shit!”
Me (in the bathroom): “What? What?! Erm, why?”
Steve: “I had my eyes shut.”
Argh.Posted 6 years agosteve_b77Member
I was talking at home about the new petrol pumps at the local filling station that talked when you picked them up “this is unleaded fuel”
I mused as to why and my sister blurted out, well it’s for the blind drivers obviously!!
I won £20 for that one from FHM’s “Out of the mouth of babes” featurePosted 6 years agosinglespeeddanMember
An otherwise very intelligent girl I used to go to school with once asked,
‘Do shetland ponies have to migrate home to Shetland to breed?’
She also belived that thistles stopeed at the border with England for a time and that speed limits at roadworks didn’t apply on sundays as there was no-one working.Posted 6 years agoPeterPoddyMember
Standing in the ice tunnel inside a glacier near chamonix, some american guy turned to me after touching the glacier and said “Oh wow, that’s ice.”
I buckled instantly.
That reminds me…..
Walking down the Grand Canyon, we were following an American couple in their mid 20s. We heard the girl ask what the piles of grass clippings were along the trail. Her patient bloke explained that it was, basically, mule dung. To be fair it was mostly grass.
A little later she asked why the bottom of the canyon (which was a long long way away) was covered in moss, but here there were only some bushes
I could almost hear the big, long, silent sigh as he again, with the patience of a saint, basically explained that it was the bushes being so far away that they looked like moss.
I could almost hear Father Ted: No Dougal, these are small and those are very far away…….
It still cracks us up now, 6 years later! 😀Posted 6 years ago16stonepigMember
Two from a girl I used to work with (We’ll call her Princess):
Princess: Can you catch a cold over the phone?
Me: (Stunned, dumbfounded silence, then) Yes. Yes you can.
Princess: I thought so – my mum’s got a cold and I was just talking to her – now I’ve got a bit of a sore throat…
Princess: Where are the channel islands?
Me: (Same stunned silence, then) Just off the north coast of France!
Princess: Oh. Then, do Scottish people live there?
Also, I was playing Need For Speed on the PC years ago, with my GF in the room half-watching. I crashed and rolled the car and she gasped and said “Oh my god, are you ok?!”Posted 6 years agoCharlieMungusMember
Guy at work announced:
Wached a war program last night, there was a Kamikaze pilot in it, he’d flown over 40 missions…..
Could be an urban myth but I did read about a kamikaze pilot who flew in several (unsuccessful) missions. Apparently at times they never found the Americans so had to go home. Obviously nobody flew two successful missions.
Actually my grandfather was a kamikaze pilot, the common misconception is that they all went on suicicde missions, in fact the requirement, for honour, was to achieve one kill. If they had not / could not mange this, they were expected to die trying.Posted 6 years agorickmeisterSubscriber
Out with a group on Scafell…
“Whats that down there?” (Sellafield)
“Its a cloud factory to clean clouds”
“Yes really, they suck the dirty grey clouds in at night (through the cooling towers), clean them up, and shove them out again during the day”
Kids eh…Posted 6 years agodeadlydarcyMember
I had a panicked phone call from a friend (Emma) a few years ago: “Ron, I hope you don’t mind me ringing but I’m afraid to ring Adam (her bloke) because he’ll kill me.”
Me: “Err, ok, go then. What’s happened?”
Emma: “I’ve only gone and put Super Unleaded in the car”
Me: “Shit. That’s not good! Hey, how come you’re driving Adam’s car anyway?”
Emma: “No, I’m in my Ka.”
Me: “Oh, don’t worry, you might just get slightly more miles this time before you have to fill up.”
Adam’s never forgiven her not not calling him first!Posted 6 years agoNorthwindSubscriber
A few years back, a colleague crashed her car into 5 or 6 parked cars on the way to work, driving down a gentle but snowy slope towards the office. I thought it was a bit weird because I rode my motorbike down it about 5 minutes before. So how did it happen?
Her:”The car just started sliding all by itself, I didn’t do anything”Posted 6 years ago
Me:”Wow, that must have been scary”
Her:”It was! And no matter how hard I pressed the brake pedal, it just wouldn’t stop sliding!”
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