- what is the dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you?
We all know or have met one, someone who seems normal but makes comments that makes them look like proper idiots and make you shudder when you realise the human race is doomed after all.
A girl I used to work with came in one day after seeing a guy on the bus she had the jones for: “That guy was on the bus again today, oh he’s really hot…..he was reading a book, do you think that means he’s gay?”
🙄Posted 7 years agoHounsMember
Following a couple about the same age as me along the canal towpath. She was behind him riding to the left of the towpath..I asked if I could get by on the right, she moved right across in front of me…I slammed on my brakes and skidded a little, she said “oops sorry, I don’t know my left or right” I did all I could not to laugh
I have also known quite a few other women (friends, girlfriends) who are all fairly intelligent get confused with their lefts and rightsPosted 7 years agonickfMember
My wonderful wife still asks me, every single time we go out riding (and after 20 years of riding in the Alps): “which one is the rear brake?”
This is usually accompanied by her taking a big fistful of the right lever and performing an impromptu stoppie, then looking a bit confused.Posted 7 years agobikebouySubscriber
You know that Richard Branson bloke, yup right, well years ago when he flew around the world in a balloon my GF at the time asked how he was getting on. So I replied he’d flown so high that he’d broken through the atmosphere and NASA were going to have to send a Shuttle up for him.. A few days later in the pub she asked me if they’d managed to get Branson down..Posted 7 years ago
My mates folded up. I spat beer over my GF’s best mate….
As far as I know she still thinks he’s up there.
Guy at work announced:
Wached a war program last night, there was a Kamikaze pilot in it, he’d flown over 40 missions…..
Could be an urban myth but I did read about a kamikaze pilot who flew in several (unsuccessful) missions. Apparently at times they never found the Americans so had to go home. Obviously nobody flew two successful missions.Posted 7 years agoNorthwindSubscriber
I like chavs-on-a-bus chat. You get entire dialogues that go exactly like this:
“It’s like f**kiiiiinnnn, ken like, f**kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnn….
<pause for breath>
To which the mate will always respond, after much consideration:
“Naw”Posted 7 years ago
On the subject of left and right,
I’ve never had a problem with left and right, ever, even back when I was as young as I can remember.
I’ve also never really had a problem with driving on the wrong side of the road, say when visiting the US or some such, and never really understood why a lot of people do.
In France on holiday, GF navigating, she says “turn left here” and I turned right, because I genuinely believed that it was the correct direction. I think what’s happening is, driving outside the US, my brain copes by transposing left and right at a subconscious level. Weird.Posted 7 years ago
My friend was teaching his ex to drive. She started the car with the accelerator to the floor. Once the pistons dropped into the engine again, he asked what order the pedals were in, right to left
“Clutch, Brake, Accelerator”
“Does it matter what order they’re in?”
First and last lesson.Posted 7 years agoRealManMemberDrRSwankMember
Spent some time in San Antonio on business a few years back. Theres a lovely area in the town with an ickle river running through it where there are some good bars and restaurants.
I was sat in one such establishment enjoying a marguerita and some nachos when some nasty trailer trash septics turned up.
The kids were pointing at some ducklings – they were cute but surprisingly skinny (I guess the weather is warm so a fat duck would be no use).
They asked Pa what the ducklings were. His reply…..
Water chickens……Posted 7 years agoplop_pantsMember
Went into an empty cafe today. I ordered my sandwich and coffee from a nice young lady in said empty cafe and was given an order number. Sat down and waited for my sandwich in the empty cafe. Young lady comes to the counter with my sandwich and shouts “NUMBER 58!”. 😐Posted 7 years ago
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