Unexpected consequences of aging

Everyone ages, even the ones that rage against the dying of the light. Some things are expected such as making strange grunting noises when getting out of a chair, intolerance of noisy exhausts and not bouncing quite so well when you have “a tumble”.
I have a problem shaving. I use a bladed razor and shaving oil, this is ok except wearing my glasses is impossible as they steam up straight away so it’s mostly done in fuzzy vision which is exacerbated by the steamed up mirror. My problem is that now my ear lobes are heading down with the effect of gravity I have caught them several times and though the cuts aren’t bad they do bleed spectacularly! This is usually just before something important such as a funeral.
Anyone else got experiences that we can learn from? Sort of an old gits “you don’t want to do it like that”.
I do take care when sitting down in boxer shorts so that one’s covered..

<follows thread with anticipation>

Forgetting how to spell simple words when typing.

Learn not to be taken seriously by anyone under 40. And don’t even think about giving them useful advice because you’ll only hear “OK boomer” in the second before they fall into the hole you were trying to warn them about.

Having to stand closer to the pan…,

Hair growing out of all sorts of odd places so you have to shave more – I have to shave my ruddy ears!

the 3am toilet break

the joy of radio 3

total acceptance of soup on my fleece

My hands are starting to work less well. I notice it playing guitar.

Also I avoid a lot more biking risks every year.

OP try folding your ear in half and using a clothes peg to hold the ear together while you shave. Only do one ear at a time or you won’t hear if someone sneaks up behind you.

And remember that if the adage that “the older I get the better I was” is true then your former self is continually improving… which is nice.

Cold.

My hands and feet feel colder nowadays even with thick duvet while in bed.

I used to wear shorts inside the flat regardless of the weather but can’t do it now.

p/s: also I find those sexy ladies “dancing” on TikTok trying to show off their “bits” funny instead of being aroused etc …

OP – Grow a beard.

My hands are starting to work less well.

I think I’m beginning to feel the effects of using power tools and other construction equipment for the last 40 years. I’m pretty sure what I’m experiencing is Vibration White Finger, the last week or so my hands really burn just going out in the cold for 30 minutes walking the dogs and I’m getting numb hands quite regularly.

Stay in the room as the hot water runs…the glasses won’t steam up as readily as they warm with the room. Same as taking a book in before running the bath – let it be in the room as it warms up and it is fine. Take it in cold and it all goes wrong.

Hair growing out of all sorts of odd places so you have to shave more – I have to shave my ruddy ears!

I’m only in my mid forties and have to do this. If I forget I end up with eyebrows like the villain from a Shaw Brothers Kung-Fu flick

Ruddy ears

the 3am toilet break

This, followed by the 4:30am I can’t sleep anymore and I’m thinking about freshly ground coffee

Cold.

And this, I’ve started wearing socks to bed and wearing unfashionable jumpers in the evening, regularly being caught out by random visitors.

I’ll be 51 in 6 weeks….

Chilblains!

Forgetting how to spell simple words when typing.

Totally! 50 this year.

All of the above….😳

er… my ‘gentlemans’ area… I’m steadily moving down the browns on the B&Q colour selector: I’m at ‘Rusted earth’ from a previously satisfying ‘Brushed gold’.

And it’s not a lack of washing. Honest.

#everydayisaschoolday #thethingstheydonttellyou

TBH I wear varifoculs, but when I shave, I don’t wear glasses.

TBH honest at 58 I don’t give a shit if I miss a few whiskers.

the 3am toilet break

This, followed by the 4:30am I can’t sleep anymore

…and preceded by the 1am, or 2am toilet break…that is, if I haven’t already been at 11pm or 12am.
No freshly ground coffee for me though 😢

In the words of Billy Connolly
Things you learn as you get older.  Never pass a toilet, never trust a fart, never waste an erection

Getting to lunchtime and realising you haven’t had a sexual thought all day. Mind you I’m not sure it that’s a positive or negative. I’m not sure how I got any work done in my 20’s.

never waste an erection

My libido is… well what libido.

I don’t remember it happening until I got older, but farting. Not generally, I’ve always farted and thoroughly enjoyed it, but since getting older I find I now fart involuntarily when under ‘duress’

The most obvious scenarios being

1/ on exercise of some sort – at boot camp in particular and doing abs work. Even worse is the knowledge it’s coming but you can’t stop it. We were doing one particular pairs exercise and on one repetition I managed to catch it just on a tiny squeaker….but I knew at the next rep immediately following; yep, whole class had to stop and nearly died from laughing as I made a sound like someone tearing a velvet curtain in half.

2/ As I’ve got older and weeing takes a bit more effort, it’s not unknown to rip one out at the same time as pushing for the last bit….. not so bad at home but in a pub, restaurant or works lavvie, is not an easy one to style out.

followed by the 4:30am I can’t sleep anymore

This is what Radio 4 Extra is for.

@fazzini you may want to get checked for BPH, the over-large prostate is a curse.

For me it’s the complete lack of interest in getting drunk. I can’t believe that I once associated throwing up and waking up with a headache with having fun.

The nocturnal interruptions to go to the loo was an irritanting and growing problem until I went to see a Chinese acupuncturist recently about hip/knee pain. Apparently it is all associated with the liver meridian or something like that, as was nighttime nasal congestion. I now regularly manage a whole night without visiting the loo and I also breathe much more easily. No I really don’t understand how acupuncture can help with that either. Unfortunately I still have hip/knee pain.

carrying immodium instant in your backpack when out for long rides just in case.  There is something about when you are completely wasted riding when it all starts to fall to bits.  Could just stop riding but where is the fun in that

edit: oh, along with only carrying water in your water bottle – just in case.

Having moments when you can’t bring to mind something that you have known for years and having to go through the alphabet to try to think of it. 66 by the way so possibly further along than most who have commented on here

Floaty bits before your eyes – thought it was just me, didn’t realise its a thing 🙁

reading about any sort of ‘complimentary medicine’ and thinking, mmm, sounds interesting.

Yogi’s NoseBuddy®

also I have finally perfected the one drink hangover

I still despise Tories as much as,if not more than I did in in my twenties.
I love all the things that I have learned and done over the years and the way it makes me feel ‘tuned in’,
some days I am so calm and content it feels like being in a trance.
Until the day I fatally topple down the stairs (after trying to pull on a cycling sock while hopping on one foot)I will remain a curious primate.
After decades of avoidance,I now really like mushy peas.

I made a sound like someone tearing a velvet curtain in half

And, no matter how terrible your day has been/the world is/Giant warranties are**, there is STW to make you lose your coffee on your work laptop 🤣🤣🤣

you may want to get checked for BPH, the over-large prostate is a curse

Oh…😨

** delete as applicable

I was putting on weight and my crotch started itching. I had jock itch. Essentially it’s athlete’s foot but in an unfortunate place.

Turns out, once you turn 40 you can grow mushrooms under your scrotum.

So many of the above!

Please though, fellow old gits, stop thinking blokes need to stand up, take the weight off and start sitting down to pee. Not in public lavs but when at home, take a seat. You don’t even need to open your eyes for the 3am one.

Admittedly, you usually end having a shit as well, but kill two birds with one stone and all that….

Please though, fellow old gits, stop thinking blokes need to stand up, take the weight off and start sitting down to pee. Not in public lavs but when at home, take a seat. You don’t even need to open your eyes for the 3am one.

So much this

Having to stand closer to the pan…,

Pretty much straddle it to catch the drips.
Probably better to take the advice above and sit down for it

Ruined knees.

corns on my feet.  WTF!