I turned 38 today and feeling old, so read this thread to feel better.
Not sure if I’m feeling better or worse with the expectation of things to come, but it’s certainly cheered me up 🙂

Very hard not to laugh out loud at work, thanks fogeys folks

^^ Reported for being underage 😆 🤣

Thanks @reeksy for the clothes peg advice, I could have done with them to keep my eyelids peeled back when going for my contact fitting lessons at Boots, or as I called them, “poking yourself in the eye instruction”! I gave up, deciding that I’d rather spend half an hour every morning looking for my glasses than starting the day with sore eyes and a runny nose.

@slowoldman having still got a good head of hair if I grow a beard, like I did in lockdown, I look like a cross between an aging Animal from The Muppets and the minder from Killing Eve!
Visualise a white bog brush with blue eyes poking out..

Lols @ fast haggis

At 45 I can definitely agree with the blinding pain of hangovers and a very sudden need for glasses to read the tiny text on the back of my sanatogen bottles.

I’m deeply concerned about when the sharting will start and my downstairs flesh start to turn russet. Are they related issues?

I ve started singing to myself when cycling. I thought I was just humming mainly going downhill, bike not me, but people not within humming distance look round so I guess it’s louder.

It started with irritable tune syndrome, where I get a random tune in my head and can’t get rid of it.

Some friends of friends have a 20 year age gap in marriage. She’s 50 he’s 70, seem q happy but u can’t help notice the difference in lives.

To be fair, on my last honeymoon I got terrible food poisoning and was very very ill. Even a reduction in sharting would likely make for an improvement. I should probably start a new thread for the forum to pick over wedding and honeymoon plans with its own special brand of cynicism.

Getting SAGA car insurance as it is 1/2 the price of the nearest quote!

Came into this thread looking for some therapy/solidarity. Left with a piece of consumer advice. Thanks Matt!

My wife would like us to go on a cruise this year. I am deeply worried I’ll be trapped with old people. Only to find I fit the demographic perfectly.

I do find myself standing in front of things (dishwasher, laptop, one of the offpring, etc) and saying ‘no, no don’t tell me, it’ll come to me in a minute’.

@slowoldman having still got a good head of hair if I grow a beard, like I did in lockdown, I look like a cross between an aging Animal from The Muppets and the minder from Killing Eve!
Visualise a white bog brush with blue eyes poking out..

But that’s what I look like!

I dropped (oh god! dropping things!) the lid off the milk bottle the other day. Picked it up…
Poured the milk in my tea. Where’s the lid? For the next 5 minutes I’m doing pirouettes in kitchen looking for where that lid was. From picking it up, to needing to replace it, blank. It was in the cupboard where the mugs are. Just one example… 59 in 2 days 🙁

A (slightly) older friend recently posed the question: ‘At what age do you transition from ‘Falling over’ to ‘Having a fall’? 😀

I like to think I’m still falling over…

@stwhannah With its relentless focus on the positive aspects of ageing you should view this thread as one long, team handed chat up line.😁
Very best wishes to you and the lucky man.

My eyes have stopped working. Always passed eye tests with flying colours, now I can’t read the date on my watch and find myself holding things with small print at arms length.

I also get indents on my lower legs where the top of my socks have been. Just like my granddad did.

Following on from the bog sitters theme.

Was in a quant holiday cottage in the Lakes last year which had 3 very low doorframe between the bedroom and the bog.
I was sleeping on the floor as the bed was too small and rubbish.
Had been doing a lot of walking and stuff all week so had quite achey limbs.

After a couple of failed, painful attempts I realised that the safest, easiest and least painful way to go for my multiple nocturnal pisses wasn’t to stand-up and walk to the bog but to heave myself onto all fours and crawl to the bathroom. I could then find and use the bog in the dark and then crawl back to bed ( well, thermarest) without having to go through the anguish of standing up.

‘miliation

a very sudden need for glasses to read the tiny text on the back of my sanatogen bottles.

I think it would be fun to write to companies in the same point size as they put on the back of their packaging and ask them to write back and tell me if its got any nuts in

I crashed (had a fall?) in a CX race last year and was asked by a medic “where hurts?”; he seemed genuinely bemused by my explanation that as a fifty year old man racing his bike everything hurt even before I hit the ground

Also, I’m sure the healing time for a broken wrist was 6-8 weeks when younger not bloody months as it seems to be nowadays……

Recovering from injury is the thing that irritates me the most as I get older*. Starting marshal arts in my 40s rather than my teens wasn’t the best idea, and getting kicked in the hands hurts like a bugger and never seems to heal.

Being 54 when you want to be 28 is crap.

*The 3am pissing, insomnia, loss of tolerance to alcohol, being slower on a bike than my 15 year old son are things that I have come to accept.

BTW. Is this another thread that @stwhannah has polluted with a shitting anecdote?

The randomness of it all. On Sunday I had two halves (a sign of age in itself) of lager with a pizza at dinner time. Woke up yesterday with a proper hangover, felt really sluggish all day. I went to a committee meeting last night in the local pub had four pints woke up this morning, no effects at all and felt ready to take on the world.

No rhyme nor reason to it.

Polluted, or improved?

BTW. Is this another thread that @stwhannah has poluted with a shitting anecdote?

She really should move to Mumsnet…

Polluted, or improved?

Depends on your outlook I suppose. As I’ve got older I have become a bit more “hand-washy”.

I went to a committee meeting last night in the local pub had four pints woke up this morning, no effects at all and felt ready to take on the world.

you’re still drunk

I also get indents on my lower legs where the top of my socks have been. Just like my granddad did.

Just **** off will you. I’d forgotten about that

@pondo

Forgetting how to spell simple words when typing.

Totally! 50 this year.

That’s nearly two a day!

After a couple of failed, painful attempts I realised that the safest, easiest and least painful way to go for my multiple nocturnal pisses wasn’t to stand-up and walk to the bog….

I realised another one this morning. I have a single walking pole within arms reach of the bed for days when my back stops working and I just can’t stand up.  It’s rare as long as I keep doing stretching and core exercises but just occasionally (once a year or so) something happens and I just can’t get up without support.

he seemed genuinely bemused by my explanation that as a fifty year old man racing his bike everything hurt

My Mum’s care home phoned to tell me she’d fallen while taking her daily exercise up and down the corridors with her walking frame. They found her sitting on the floor and asked if anything hurt – she said her leg hurt, but her short term memory is non-existent, so she wouldn’t have been replying in the context of having fallen, just that her leg always hurts. She is 96 though, and if I live that long and am no worse I’ll be happy.

I dropped (oh god! dropping things!) the lid off the milk bottle the other day. Picked it up…
Poured the milk in my tea. Where’s the lid? For the next 5 minutes I’m doing pirouettes in kitchen looking for where that lid was. From picking it up, to needing to replace it, blank. It was in the cupboard where the mugs are. Just one example… 59 in 2 days

I tried to put the kettle in the fridge the other day.

Most of my age-related issues are entirely expected though, TBF.

Apart from getting little grooves in my fingernails. Didn’t expect that.

Apart from getting little grooves in my fingernails. Didn’t expect that.

Shit! I’ve got them too!

At ease Harry, no cause for alarm: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/expert-answers/nails/faq-20058541

Forgetting how to spell simple words when typing.

Totally! 50 this year.

That’s nearly two a day!

Oh, I say – that’s jolly good, @MrSparkle! 🙂

I also get indents on my lower legs where the top of my socks have been. Just like my granddad did.

Pinch the skin on the back of your hand and see how long it takes to smooth out again…

Anything over a second and you’re officially worn out….

Nails ok. But duff vision and reading glasses in the last few months. Duff hearing. Well it isn’t duff, everyone else is mumbling quietly all the time.
And now, big grey nasal hairs. Not many, but they are whoppers. I’ve gone Gandalf, but only out of my nose.

I bought some autumn/winter overshoes a few months ago. They were very, very cheap, and when they arrived, very cheaply made. No matter, if they only last a few rides…

The zip at the back of the overshoe was black and very small, and when I have my contact lenses in for riding completely indistinguishable from the rest of the leg/overshoe/foot. On first attempt at putting them on, I couldn’t see enough detail to zip them up and hadn’t allowed much time to faff, being on my way to work, so gave up. I allowed more faff time the next day, but immediately managed to jam the zip partway up. The only option was to rip the thing off and chuck them in the bin in a fit of temper. A waste of £2.50! 😀

I also can’t see my toenails clearly when I’m trying to clip them. Slightly too far away without glasses on, and when I have my glasses on I have the same problem as described above.

Who knows what my feet look like these days because I only have a vague idea. Probably talons.

Dropping things, instantly losing things by simply turning around…but mostly dropping things. If I use an allen key for anything I may as well just throw it on the floor straight away to get it over with..
And everything that’s dropped is without fail just beyond reach leading to scrabbling of fingers and a lot of old man grunting.
And oddly, I have to keep forcing myself to drink enough water, when I was young I’d get thirsty and drown myself in squash, nowadays it’s a chore?

A couple of years ago, when I was 53, one of the young whippersnappers in the office asked me how I was keeping? That made feel old.

Really struggle with concentrating on more than one thing at once now, also.

And the daydreaming/nostalgia (had to look nostalgia up – couldn’t remember the word for looking back) seems to be more frequent.

My wife would like us to go on a cruise this year. I am deeply worried I’ll be trapped with old people.

You could the youngest person (other than your wife?) in the room. That would be a nice feeling for a change. 😄

1)My pubes are getting a bit threadbare.
2)Aches and pains that just won’t heal.
2)Lying reading on the sofa has become my default setting.I just don’t like sitting in chairs anymore.

Anyway,I,m just about to start the sofa to 50k challenge. It’s that or arrive in spring as a fat mess !

Anyway,I,m just about to start the sofa to 50k challenge.

I found the 5k pretty easy and the 10k not too bad either, but I’m buggered if I’m gonna run 50k

chakaping,it’s for cycling mate.Its on the British Cycling website.

I also get indents on my lower legs where the top of my socks have been.

Socks! I still refuse to sit down to put my socks on/take them off. The day I do is the day I’ve given up. (Probably next week)

TBH I don’t recognise any of the symptoms here, other than a little more ear hair. I guess I’ve maybe become a little more risk averse but I’ve always had periods of that when I’ve not been doing the “risky” thing for a while and need to renew my limits.

Oh, 65 this year.