To those buffoons who can't ride nice switchbacks at cannock (mild rantette)

I can only assume that some riders of super slack angled gnarr machines with their stupidly wide bars have found some of the lovely off piste bits on the chase, as some tools have made huge motorways through a lot of lovely, tight off camber rooty switchbacks that were beautifully made by deer, mother nature and some talented trail pixies many years ago to keep it sympathetic with the surrounding area.

IF YOU CAN’T GET YOUR DUMB ASS SLACK ANGLED GRAVITY SLEDGES AROUND A TIGHT CORNER OR YOU BARS DON’T FIT, COCK OFF BACK TO A TRAIL CENTRE RATHER THAN DESTROYING SOMETHING THAT’S BEEN THERE FOR YEARS!

IF I FIND YOU, I’LL GIVE YOUR NAME TO THE CANNOCK WEREWOLF,WHO WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND MAUL YOUR SCROTAL REGION ON THE NEXT FULL MOON YOU TOTAL AND UTTER LITTLE COCK MONKEYS 👿

EDIT: IF I SEE YOU DOING IT, I’LL FEED YOU FACE FIRST INTO A BUCKET OF RABID BADGERS

handbags

Umm.. if they steamroller through the switchbacks does it actually prevent you from riding the original line?

Mol on a couple of them they’ve stuffed the original line and cut a chunk out of tree with a saw at bar height!

not flipping cricket at all

+1 for caps! Not quite enough spelling mistakes and too much punctuation though. Sorry total score 2

Complete rubbish rant! Topic: 1, effort: 2 disappointed.

I haven’t been to Cannock for a few months but agree that some of the nice natural tight twisty bits do get wrecked by people just plowing a straight line through stuff or making singletrack into a motorway.

surely upgraded to a score of 3 or 4 by subtle inference to the ranters own killer skills, ie. being able to ride the original line.

i’m feeding off his gnarr, just reading that.

Topic: 1, effort: 2 disappointed.

3. Extreme physical violence to those wot dun it …infinitesimal

i’m feeding off his gnarr, just reading that.

😆

3 or 4 because of these quotes:

I’LL FEED YOU FACE FIRST INTO A BUCKET OF RABID BADGERS

and

GIVE YOUR NAME TO THE CANNOCK WEREWOLF,WHO WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND MAUL YOUR SCROTAL REGION ON THE NEXT FULL MOON

So people on Cannock Chase are only allowed to ride where you say they can?

Absolute bollucks you effing tool.

Cannock Chase wouldnt be what it is today if it werent for the countless poeple(and deer/wildlife) taking a route they want to take.

+1 on the ladybower cheeky

Too much fantasy content for my liking: mother nature, pixies, werewolves… Who do you think you are, Jo Burt?

And the grammar shows signs of polishing -1

almightydutch the trails in question have been there for over 10 years so in your mind it’s fine to destroy them for everyone else?

there is only one to settle this

Who do you think you are, Jo Burt?

I’ll take that as a compliment as I rather like the young chaps work……..so there!

Well you sold it as a mild rantette so a limp wristed rant is what I expected.

You were doing well but I’m going to mark you down for the badgers… that’s a proper rant style threat.

7/10

Well you sold it as a mild rantette

well I am a quiet, mild mannered little soul so what do you expect?

So in your mind Tazzy these 10 year old trails are protected are they?
Some kind of covenant to keep them in their original state?
Fight….behave and grow up.

I remember building what us locals called the ‘BMX track’ up the Chase circa 1985(i suspect you were still in nappies)…sadly these are no more. Although some of it is still used as part of one trail i know. Does it make me sad that our BMX track was ripped up and made different…ofcourse not. Changing the scenery and routes is what makes Cannock Chase so good IMO. They manage to keep the forest evolving.
Same goes for when the fell an area..does this also constitute to wrecking the area/trail and will they have their scrotums ripped apart by mythical creatures.

Same also goes for the start of FTD…are you gonna nip down to the FC and feed them all to Werewolves as they have changed the entrance to Section 1.

I liked the use of ‘buffoons’

What they need is berms… everyone loves berms. All this off camber stuff is rubbish.

Where are they… I’ll bring a spade.

I agree, the chase is full of evolving trails, but to take something nice and fun and turn it into a straight line and to damage trees with a saw to get your bars through is a retrograde step IMHO, but you are entitled to your opinion

in the 80’s I was riding all terrain bikes in the welsh mountains 😀

TSY, I’ll show you around any time you want and you can bring ya shovel….we can use it for the shallow graves 😉

I might bring an axe to get rid of any awkward roots too… 🙂

More seriously I’d love to come and see more of the Chase than the standard tracks.

you are welcome anytime matey drop me an email

*dons stalking suit*

Agreed on the damage to trees. Its wrong in every aspect.

Trails evolve and one shouldnt get too bothered when changes happen. Theres plenty of cheeky trails/deer runs for everyone to stay happy up there.

Pretty contrived rant imo, the anger didn’t seem convincing enough to me. 4/10 mainly for use of caps though.

I agree, some delicate a fine handling trails are needed to balance the dh routes of the world that are built in far more suitable places than cannock. Finesse and bikehandling rather than just holding on a steering.

Would the shallow graves cause too much trail disruption.

grum- If i was going to properly rant I’d been banned for life, I was not happy bunny.

ivantate- the shallow graves would be used to fill some of the breaking bumps on FTD and monkey therefore ensuring that everyone is a winner!

Edit – Great minds think a like!

ivantate- the shallow graves would be used to fill some of the breaking bumps on FTD and monkey therefore ensuring that everyone is a winner!

Exactly what I would suggest but you got there first. Cannock’s problem is it’s sooooo easy for everyone to get to, it has so many visitors. What gets me is I can’t think of a single bit of trail on the Monkey where you’d ever be braking that hard to cause a braking bump anyway!

Quite agree on annoyance at people reshaping trails to suit their skills/bikes/mindset. Ride the trails that are there, don’t just butcher to suit your own tastes.

Personally, I’d forget the mild rantette and have a proper rant myself! 😉

Are you sure it’s the fault of ‘slack angled gravity sledges’? Tyre treads should give them away.

One of the worst corner cutting riders I know is a proper fast XC whippet… One of the reasons he’s so fast round a race course is he doesn’t ride a fair proportion of it… 👿

Quite a nice little rantette but you failed totaly in getting the riders of DUMB ASS SLACK ANGLED GRAVITY SLEDGES to bite hard enough.

Still a good start and i’m sure you’ll learn from your mistakes and do betterer next time.

Edit.
I’ll award you an extra point for posting in the wrong forum though.

You alright there Tazmeister?

Picto- yes thanks matey, luckily folks reading the rant will never know that I’m about as physically intimidating as kitten and be all scared n stuff and have more consideration for trees man

Thank you Mr stu. I’Ll try better next time, I think I may have used too many big words in the start so the trail bike boys are probably still reading it slowly and dribbling on their keyboards

On the Cougar Sheer Annoyance Scale you get an automatic point for non-gratuitous badger usage, and I’ll give you +1 on that for the “rabid” modifier. Portmanteau swearing is usually an automatic point as well, but I’m afraid you left a space between “cock” and “monkeys” and it’s not a particularly creative juxtaposition so I can’t award it on on this occasion I’m afraid.

I’ll award you a point for accurately conveying righteous indignation, and having a valid subject (sawing out holes in trees) is worth another. However, you’ve got lazy use of capitalisation, and it’s all correctly punctuated and spelt. Good god man, you’ve only got one exclamation mark in the entire post! That’s just embarrassing, I’m afraid you’re going to lose a point for the complete lack of effort there. You didn’t even manage to invoke Godwin’s Law in your fellow posters.

I will however give you a bonus point for the werewolf, tied in with the scrotal mauling; amusing and creative. So, I make that four out of ten.

You had a valid point but made a poor attempt to properly froth about it. Better luck next time, as homework revision you must play Call of Duty online with 14-year old Americans.

Could it possibly be the clown bikes of Cannock venturing off the bridleways? Beard hair caught on the lower tree branches is the give away.

Tazzy I’d love to hook up on a ride just to see what other bits there are. Have been riding up there for a good 8 or 9 years and know lots of off piste trails but have never ridden with any locals.

i’ve found a few off piste bits but they’re generally unneccesarily twisty and it’s best to just straight line them.

on a big bike.

with really wide bars.