Think of a film, remove one letter from the title, describe the film

X-Men: Fist Class – More pron

Fro Hell – Johnny Depp loses control of his curly hair

Fat and Furious 5 – large angry people driving cars

Dantes Pea

USGS volcanologist Harry Dalton travels to the small Pacific Northwest town of Dante’s Peak to investigate recent pea exposion episodes in the area. Expecting to find little other than the routine rumblings common to this region, Dalton becomes alarmed by what he sees as evidence of the kind of activity that precedes a catastrophic eruption. When his colleagues doubt his theories, Dalton enlists the aid of the town’s mayor Rachel Wando, who though skeptical at first, comes to believe his theory that the long-dormant pea is about to become ragingly destructive. With the earth’s clock racing against him, Dalton must defy the orders of his superiors, defeat the demons from his own tragic past, and together with Wando, convince an unbelieving populace that the imminent danger before the towering vegetable known as Dante’s Pea unleashes its fury.

Shed Your Teas And Walk Away – Hebden Bridge alkies in cafe accident docu-drama

Inglourious Basters – misfit soldiers spoil Christmas for everyone.

The Passion Of Chris – Mr Akabusi shouts “awooooga” at various inane objects and occurrences.

Hoe Alone – Hilarious tale of one man’s struggle to buy up all the plots on his local allotments.

3 men and a little lad – banned in every state in america, apparently available through specialist websites.

Sherlock Homes – lloyd grossman goes on a real mission to find out who would live in a house like that.

WALL.

Not just any bricks.

Ride & Prejudice – The tragic tale of a man who turns up at Llandegla in a Lada with an Apollo on the roof.
He is shunned.

Love this one!

Top Making Sense – Concert footage of a well known non-car owning singer wearing a suit jacket which is the right size.

The Godfarter – Morgan Freeman play god, again, in this hilarious romp set in the colonoscopy clinic

Rash – this erotic drama explores the relationship between violent rashes and sex.

As boot – A German U Boat commander with an Anti Social Behaviour Order gets new footwear.

Day of Thunder – Nascar driver takes his car out in a storm, once…..

Ciderella – a young lady finds love after losing her shoe as a result of drinking fermented apple juice.
The life of bran – controversial comedy about the role of dietary fibre in the Christian church

It’s a wonderful Lie: What’s the point in living? There isn’t any.

KS – the story of a northern lad and his friendship with an adjustable seatpost.
wordfish – john travolta stars as a cod with a penchant for lexicography.
hanks for smoking – odd promotional film for marlboro, staring Tom….
Harry Otter – down by the riverside, there be spells a-brewing.
Hoe Alone – the story of a desperate hooker who just cant get work.
K-9 the widowmaker -the russians create a nuclear dog with a terrible russian accent, covers the whole thing up when it starts eating those looking after it.
a few god men – Tom Cruise tricks the clery into admitting that all the recent speculation is true.

The Thin – Scientists in the Antarctic are confronted by a shape-shifting weight watcher that assumes the appearance of the people that it kills.

28 Days Late – CRC struggle against the odds to get orders out on time in a zombie-ravaged post-apocalytic world.

Pear Harbour – Ben Affleck struggles woodenly against an onslaught from suicidal Japanese fruit.

Sumdog Millionaire – Poor indian kid makes a fortune after his mangey pooch wins X-Factor by doing hard maths.

Fists of Fur – Bruce Lee beats allcomers in spite of an unnatural excess of body hair.

slainte ❓ rob

the life of bran, even the son of god needs fibre.

– the story of nothing, definitely not lizard aliens.

Black WAN – ultrafast Kenyon telecommunication network gets slowly corrupted, ultimately turns into dial up.

Just like Hollywood there’s a fair few remakes turning up 😉

For Weddings and a funeral – Hugh Grant sets up a small catering company specifically for overpriced symbolic events.

Alien – oh….

Now White – Early Disney cartoon, racist proaganda basically.

Spice Girls: The Move – the spice girls move house, its shit… like the first film.

Ben Hu – Story about Ben somebody or other

9 1/2 Wee’s – An erotic story about an incontinent woman and the golden shower sex games she plays with a man she barely knows.

A Bugs Lie – an adventurous ant lies to the rest of his colony about a group of bugs being warriors not circus performers… hang on…

Silent Runing – Slow moving drama where a space gardener tries to find a quiet corner to read Lord of the Rings.

Silence of the Labs – Forensic scientists stay quiet in an attempt to avoid having to talk to Jodie Foster and listen to her bizarre accent.

slainte ➡ rob

Cum – Little seen 70s pron flick starring Ray Winstone

The Jungle Boo – Lots of surprises in the tropics.

Pint Break – Renegade surfers take time out for some lunchtime refreshment

The Reat Escape – a Yorkshire man makes a spectacular bid for freedom

Free Will – an Orca buggers off and does what he likes

Black Hawk Don – A story about a bird of prey called Don

Plice Academy – A group of good-hearted but incompetent brummies join the force

Ice Station Ebra – A tough Marine with a platoon of troops don womens underwear in a bid to keep warm

The Princess Ride – a slightly more erotic version of Game of Thrones

The Lob – Andy Murray in winning outerspace tennis shot

The Kings peech – Period royal fruit based drama

Horse box gang ban – organised crime had taken control of the equestrian world … until one woman took them all on 😳

Wayne’s Wold – A young man and his chalk hills.