Things my dog has eaten and shouldn't have

So far: one Cat 5e cable, some stones (not sure if he swallowed), lots of garden plants, including geraniums, which I thought were meant to be poisonous. But it’s only been 2.5 weeks so there’s still time. Pretty sure once we can take him out for proper walks everything on the pavements will be fair game, and this being London, the pavements are covered in shite.

Few years back but our old dog had a thing for shoes. Just left ones, it seemed.

Also as a puppy she ate a VHS tape. For a few days after that had to take rubber gloves and scissors on walks as she spooled it out. Seems magnetic tape isn’t too digestible.

Loving these! Our lurcher once ate a pile of cat poo from the garden. I was so engrossed in an Xbox game I barely noticed him come back in and puke it up right by my feet. I realised what had happened, ran out into the kitchen to get cleaning products, by the time I’d come back in he’d eaten it again.

nothing to share, yet. We’re getting a pup in 6 weeks. Some great stories here!

black lab called oz has eaten many things. cushions – not bothered about those as we seem to have hundreds of the things. the edges off the coffee table. came home to 4 little piles of sawdust and a guilty looking dog. various clothing. the post – jiffy bags with bubble wrap built in is a favourite. the left ear off a furry toy, he would spend ages just sucking it. only the left – the right one is perfect. cardboard boxes.

and then there’s poo. rabbit poo is like caviar for dogs. and cow, and horse. he rolls in fox and badger poo and it is indescribably disgusting. the worst though was the other weekend. i had just pushed up the paving slabs towards winstone lee tor, and just after the farm buildings there’s a little stream crossing. as i stopped to wait for the others he came back running back looking guilty, but the evidence was hanging from his mouth (white toilet paper) and there was brown poo on his teeth. i could have cried.

Our springer ate all sorts.

I once came home to a massive hole in the back door and the dog had the cat flap wedged on his shoulder – he was big for a springer. My mum had left an old melon or something on the back step (don’t know why), but the dog wanted it so smashed his way through the back door and ate it.

We thought he was a rare genius springer as he could open the fridge and eat everything in it (everything). But it was the cat…she’d open the fridge, nibble on a bit of cheese and then swan off and leave the dog to eat everything else.

Cow pats were also a favourite…he seemed to permanently have a green face.

Forgot to add.. apart from the 6″ kebab skewer..
Chewed through a wooden stair gate and lost 3 teeth.
4 raw sirloin steaks off the worktop when my back was turned.. the last one was dissapearing down his throat as i turned round. Must have managed 4 whole steaks in under 15 seconds.
The heels off mrs cloudnines favourite boots (£250).
A large section of carpet.. digging and chewing.
Also has knocked a toilet off the wall whilst we were out and flooded the whole downstairs of the house. Ruined was the new walnut floor laid the week previously and all the laminate flooring in hall and kitchen.

My 3 year old Springer has eaten..

Lamp cable (thankfully on the dead side of the floor switch)
Laptop charger
Horse poo
Random dog poo
3 sausages from the beach bbq of a random couple trying to have a romantic afternoon
Dead deer

Think I’ve got off lightly.

Jeff

All good stuff. Lab cross here. In brief:

Her poo
Other dogs poo
Sheep poo
Cow poo
Horse poo
8 Hot cross Buns
Half a loaf of bread
Half a side of Salmon from the Outlaws’ kitchen
The BT Router
Various cables
Dead animals
Live animals (she should be so lucky)
2 packets of biscuits
My helmet (bike variety!)

Lots more on top.

Great dog though!

The Basset regularly eats socks, the boys sock draw is now full of singles as I’m not reusing them once they’ve come out the other end.
I used to have a Lab who found a (presumably) used johnny in a bush. Seeing him running around a field the next day with it hanging out of his bumholio was not something I’ll forget in a hurry 😯 Half of me wanted to pull it out, the other half was slightly dying inside.

my gran used to tell the story of the dog who ate her front door key, including the ribbon she used to hang it round her neck. Two days later there was a jingling noise as the dog ran past trailing the key from its bum.

Hope (the nose on page 1), has this special method of eating stuff she’s developed when we’re out. She sniffs it out and casually trots over (I’m usually on my bike).
She knows the “LEAVE IT!” shout is coming, so anything she finds has to be swallowed whole. Grab, head up, gulp gulp. Imagine a dog doing an impression of a pelican and you’re about there.

We used to have to put a weight on the lid of the nappy bucket to stop ours helping herself to a little brunch.

We used to have to put a weight on the lid of the nappy bucket to stop ours helping herself to a little brunch.

This is a seriously funny thread, but now I’m starting to feel a little queasy. 🙂

I went to do some work with a bloke, arranged to meet at his house. Knocked on the door and he let me in, I stroll through, not closing the door properly behind me, large retriever strolls past. A minute later a mystery woman comes hurtling down the stairs shouting NO!!!

The retriever had a sock addiction, it could not be stopped from eating them. I’d inadvertently let it out into the garden where it discovered the holy grail, a basket of fresh washing. His wife spotted it out the window, by the time she got to it, 3 football socks and a pair of school socks had gone. The dogs eyes were rolling back in ecstasy as it gagged down a long nylon football sock. It choked them down like a pelican somehow deriving huge pleasure from the task.

Apparently man made socks would slowly reappear but anything cotton was done for. Tights were a particularly repulsive operation on reappearance.

How about a dead calf 😯 farm I worked on whilst at college had a calf die, put the carcass in a shed ready for the hunt man to come and collect it when it was legal to feed to the hounds.

He turns up and asks where the calf is, in the usual place I reply, I think you need to come with me he says. We walk round to the shed where the calf had been left outside and it was indeed gone apart from its feet. Lying about 10 ft away were two Hound puppies that the boss had been walking. They had eaten the lot and were just lying there like dog balloons. Huge distended bellies tongues lolling out, called the vet and he just said they may die they may not. They didn’t move for two days but both survived. Could of eaten themselves to death.

My old Staffy ate a washing machine, well all the bits that he could chew off, needed a new machine after that. Ate the rubber seal out of the door and the flexi pipe out of the back. He was pooing that out for days.

On the poo theme…

As a solo forestry surveyor I have to go for my fair share of craps in the bushes…

Well, I arrived on site on one of the coldest days of the year in upland Aberdeenshire, had my coffee and needed to go. Did my business maybe 30m from the car, then went and did a day’s work. Got back to the car that evening and dog disappears. Comes back to me shortly chewing on what looks like a fairly solid dried sausage. Turns out my crap had frozen during the course of the day, and now was providing my pooch with the canine equivalent of a gelato.

How about a dead calf

Mmmmm, dead things.
Samson the Basset legged it one day whilst we were at the beach. I found him 20 mins later gorging himself on a monster from the deep that had washed up and was decomposing in the Norfolk sunshine.
It f-cking stunk, it had cleared the beach of all life apart from my dog. Samson then spent the rest of the day protesting as he wanted to go back to finish off the rancid beast.
On the way home he hurled most of it back up, all over the passenger seat and centre console of my MX5. My garden the next morning was just as bad.
I know full well he’d do it again given half a chance.

Lab/Springer cross and the list is endless and still continues to grow;

Two Soreen Loafs, half a box of cereal and half a tube of biscuits in a sitting.
Handles of all our nice knifes.
Wifes glasses.
Box set of the Wire we had borrowed from some friends.
Various chocolate bars and bags of sweets when we leave her in the car.
Plucked the jam sandwich right from the hand of our neighbours child as they crossed paths, child was just stepping out of the house the moment we walked past, she didn’t even break stride, just sucked it up and left me to walk into the aftermath.
The worst is a love for all poo, fresher the better and her own is not off the table. To her credit, when she’s a tad poorly and poos in the kitchen at night, she does try and eat up the mess. The problem being it makes her sick. The mornings when I come downstairs to piles of partially digested poo/sick all over the floor are priceless, priceless I say.

Our old Lab (yes another one) ate in no particular order:

Any faecal matter of any origin (especially frozen)
Her own sick
An entire bag of pick n mix including the bag
The feet of a wooden chest of drawers
A full nappy
Her own bed
Moths
A gosling
The bottom stair
Part of a fridge
An entire birthday cake
3 other dogs dinners in under 8 seconds (pathetic slow eating Collies) that weren’t quite quick enough after finishing her own dinner. She just body slammed them out of the way.

She also once accidentally snorted a spider

Oh ours eats wood knife handles!
Brilliant thread but this

The BT Router

/boggles!

One Christmas we were over at my grandparent’s house in London, and they love to put on a show with big fancy dinners. This particular year they had a very expensive, very large goose liver pate in the centre of the table. We all left the room for a couple of minutes to do something, and on returning, our large ginger lurcher was standing in the middle of the table, with one foot actually in a gravy boat, and the remains of the pate smeared on her nose.

She’s also taken a large triangle of parmesan from the table and gnawed it away before we realized it’d gone.

She has a great love for tearing up bits of paper, especially ones with a nice rancid coating of old food. We recently gave her a load of leftover whitebait from the pub, and after that was gone she tore the fish scented paper bag into hundreds of little bits, leaving them around the house where they could release their odour like a disgusting version of a car air freshener.

Mine eats anything, and everything, highlights are:

dead badger (after rolling in it, to make it pop causing a little cloud of maggots)
dead deer (after almost getting inside it and making himself green)
deer intestines (running around with them flapping down his flanks, thanks to the local deer stalker)
cow afterbirth + placenta (still hanging out of the cow, until the placenta slid out)
puffin (found in the sea)
chicken carcass (ended up with him barking and snarling at his own shit as it hurt coming out)
jar of mustard (Djion and English)
5kg of wild bird feed (now have random clumps of odd plants in the garden)
15kg of dog food (and about 8 bowls of water)
Kilos and kilos of dry pasta and rice (he managed to work out how to get the cupboard door open)
Plus the usual yogurt, marmite, jam, pepper, chilli, spices, string, clingfilm, washing up sponges etc.

I used to drag him off his own vomit to stop him eating it, so now he pukes with gritted teeth so he can hang onto the good stuff.

Not a Lab though, he’s a cheaspeake bay cross, which is like the bastard stubborn half brother of a lab.

Wouldn’t change him for the world, but he is the dog everyone loves, and is very happy they don’t own.

I’ve recounted this story on here before but..

I had 2 Springers once, 1 mad 1 dopy, both brothers.

The mad one once ate a coil of rope I used as a mainsheet on a dinghy I once had. It was coiled up hanging on a wall in the utility room with another 3-4 others. It had a nylon core and rope outer and cleary the mad one took fancy to it and started eating the end of it.
I came home that night to find a 1/4 of it (about 2mtrs) had been chewed and quite a lot of that had gone through his stomach and out his bottom.
He was quite poorly for weeks after but it never stopped him chewing stuff.
Next on his list was a Sofa and the Curtains.
😆

My friends Border ate a whole M&S Chocolate birthday cake straight out of the box last week.

She took her to the vets but appears to be fine!

My mother in law’s dog once ate an empty crisp packet whilst I wasn’t looking. Not remarkable in itself, but she then wolfed her dinner down, stood there looking idiotic for a minute, and then hwarfed the whole lot back up, very neatly, inside the crisp packet. It was the easiest dog-barf clean-up job ever.

My mum’s dogs eat rocks and dog/cat/horse shit all the time. Dogs are **** stupid.

Human poo. This has happened three times where complete strangers have been for a dump in the great outdoors and my dog has found it. I wretch everytime i think about it and needless to say he does not get a cuddle for a few days after this has happened. The worst is picking up his poo because i am also picking a complete strangers poo as well!

tube of window sealant

frozen chicken (whole)

table leg

managed to get under the stairs and eat a load of dried dog food, then sat all night not moving with her stomach as tight as a drum

🙂

I miss that dog. She was a Lab

Just remembered another – you know when you prepare a nice warming casserole in the slow cooker in winter, ready for when you get home that evening?
Yeah, don’t leave it anywhere within reach of a pointer. they are good with their paws

The mixture of casserole remains, dog blood and slow cooker shards was a delight to mop up.

Threads like this remind me how lucky we are with our springer.

She has a liking for sheep poo so we have to keep an eye on her when checking the sheep or she eats too much. She also cleans up after the house rabbit if he has the odd accident when running round the house (mainly goes in his tray).

We rescued her at 6 months old and we had some bacon sandwiches we took for the drive but didn’t eat. When we got back we were in the kitchen making a cup of tea and left the bacon sandwiches on a low coffee table in the living room with the dog (sat next to her new bed as she didn’t understand it was for her) but she didn’t touch them. 7 years on she’s never stolen any food.

We are now looking for a 2nd springer but I am dreading what we will end up with compared to this one!

When I was a kid our dog at the time (an English Pointer) ate an entire Birthday party spread for 8 6 year olds. Sausage rolls, crisps, sandwiches, chocolate biscuits etc and a badly fashioned tiger cake that my mum had spent all day making. We had only popped out for 5 minutes to pick up a friend. We came in to find the dog on its bed with a belly like a football. I remember it vividly.

Our current dog (Jack Russell) is an angel. He will destroy any toy you give him, but nothing else, which is great.

Our has eaten all of the poo mentioned. There’s one area I used to walk here where she would eat soil, only one area and it was really dark coloured soil with white bits in it.
Shes demolished countless sandwiches, any food thats dropped will be consumed before it hits the floor. She ripped open a load of Christmas presents one year which contained some nice chocolates (which meant an emergency trip to the vest and a puking dog on Christmas day)
Probably the worst was when she found a tray of chicken portions ready for a BBQ, she must have eaten 5 or 6, but the worst thing was finding the chicken drumsticks she had hidden for later, the one in the bed under my pillow was quite bad!

but the worst thing was finding the chicken drumsticks she had hidden for later, the one in the bed under my pillow was quite bad!

Shows she can think ahead!

My OH’s dog growing up (English Setter) had a bad habit of escaping and exploring, and one day decided to go to the Church Fete and taste test the cakes, pickles, etc and growled at anyone who came near him whilst helping himself.

Different era, as once he had finished he got a lift home in a squad car to the horror of her mother and the amusement of the police 🙂

My mate recounted the tale of his great dane, finding a dead dear in the woods,

Dane ran off, he chased, dane is busy at something, turns around covered in rotten deer, with entrails hanging out of it’s mouth like something out of a horror movie.

Man the list for our Akita cross is extensive, she’s a freaking ninja when it comes to jacking food:

2x Scones wrapped with clingfilm
a duck intended for Christmas dinner
frozen loaf of bread
her own sick, poop, other dogs poop

The worst one was about 500g of petroleum based moisturiser she managed to get off a desk and work the lid off whilst we were out. That was a fun night, waking up every 20-30m to throw her in the garden after cleaning up copious amounts of diarreha and vomit.

Amusingly, we were out for a walk and she came across some donner meat on the floor and turned her nose up at it!!! Think about that next time you want a kebab.

We used to look after a Cocker while the owners were on their summer holiday.

She had a habit of burying half eaten dog chews in the garden when no one was looking (summer = back door open), then digging them up and eating them after a few days once they were good and soggy and rotten.

She would then wander around looking rough until she found someone to puke up in front of, and always indoors. Lovely.

Had a chocolate lab as a kid.

She once ate an entire family-size packet of Frosties. Upon arriving home from school, I fed her her dinner before realising that she’d done so. Needless to say, she still finished it with gusto.

She spent that evening sitting in the corner, foaming at the mouth and shaking like a battery hen.

I missed quite a few items off Oscars list earlier

Frozen sheep poo (of course comes over wanting a cuddle as it melts and drips out )
Rabbit poo
Deer poo
Kittens (ok he doesn’t eat them, just walks around with them in his mouth)
Anything wooden
Anything plastic (especially watering cans and plant pots)
2 weeks ago in a busy pub he chewed through his expensive tweed lead. I only noticed when he caused a commotion with diners at the far end of the bar
He also licks up the pee from Poppy the Golden retriever collie cross (she also eats anything plastic)
Any unattended plates of food (even if for a second)

Miss Houns’ cats are a nightmare too, they eat butter, loaves of bread, they’ve learnt to open cupboards, they try and get in pans as you’re cooking, they will sit on your shoulder and try to hook food off your fork or even out of your mouth

The list goes on but as its a daily occurrence it all becomes kinda normal

Here’s the doggy dustbin