The joy of having kids…

Missing wheels off dishwasher tray found in toy box.

Replacement wheels arrived in post this morning.

Stoner Jr Jr this morning: “Im nearly full up of breakfast. This leg’s full anyway. I need to eat more to fill the other one up to my knee at least”

Is it a “joy”

Just askin like..

My 5 year old last night – ‘do all baddies have moustaches’?

(She is utterly absorbed by the world wars and we normally read war books for bedtime – this has been going on for months). She has even learned how to spell Hitler. 😀

HTF did a kid get the wheels off the dishwasher tray?

Can you send him round to get the stuck pedal off my road bike?

My 6 year old at around 3:30 am last night

“You didn’t give me any water. Don’t forget to fill up my water bottle next time”.

Cheeky git. I’ll play with his Lego while he’s not looking 🙂

… when your adult son becomes an obsessive Strava roadie and has a stable of 3.

I blame the mother. 😆

4am this morning. Daddy, I think I would like to go back to wearing a pull-up nappy…

When they go splat and cut their knee and come out with:

“Where my blood go? I need that, you put it back in”

He’s 2 and a half now and getting steadily funnier, V2.0’s due any day now.

my 3 yr old had a bad dream and came into us at 2am, waking us both up, wife asks whats the matter?

‘I didn’t want daddy to wash my pants’ lol.

Eldest (just past 3 at the time) having a full-on tantrum because I finished the drink she gave me. It was a pretend drink..!

when my youngest was two she decided to use the carpet as a canvas for a large sudocrem painting, the stain is still there, all metre square of it…

eldest was making Mrs Ed laugh and she said ‘Francesca, you’re a comedy genius’

‘Mum! I’m not a comedy Jesus ‘

when my youngest was two she decided to use the carpet as a canvas for a large sudocrem painting, the stain is still there, all metre square of it…

Could’ve been worse, the cat could have been the canvas!

you sure it wasn’t the cat?

One day they will all be 16.

Edukator, that is such a sad thought 🙁

Could’ve been worse, the cat could have been the canvas!

Oh the cats have all been painted on or drawn on at some stage. 😆

(Watching mummy eating toast with seeds in the bread)
Kiddie: What are those?
Mummy: Seeds
Kiddie: If we plant them can we grow a toast tree?

And another on the war
Me: The baddies (the Germans) wear crosses around their necks (so she could work out who were who in the pictures)
Kiddie: Do the goodies wear ticks?

One day they will all be 16.

Mine are 11 and (almost) 9 now, and they’re still brilliant and hilarious.

For anyone who’s not read it:

Sudocrem Cat

IMO the funniest thread ever on STW.

As you were.

It was on a similar thread years ago that someone posted this image. Not far off how mine “helped” me a few years ago.

My 4yr old told the 7yr old that he had learnt at nursery that another name for your willy and bawbag was your ‘pirate parts’. Five minutes later the 7yr old is parading round the house fully naked except for the pirate patch from the dressing up box partially covering his little cock and balls.

When he’s not being a provocative, anti-social “ado” junior still has moments of being brilliant. Today has gone well so far but will degenerate at some point. Had a Telecaster + acoustic guitar jam this morning and swam together at lunchtime. There are far worse in his class which is resulting in a catastrophic divorce rate among the parents.

My youngest has just gone off to Uni ,we are all missing him a lot .
It only seems a blink ago that we were reading Hungry Caterpillar.
Hold them close and treasure those simple years. 🙂

Our 4 yr old regularly uses the word ‘whoopsidentally’ when something unplanned happens – breaking big bros airfix etc. We’re in no hurry to correct her – it should be a proper word and in the dictionary.

Hold them close and treasure those simple years.

Good advice but hard to follow when in a case of perpetual near exhaustion (2yr old and a 7m old here.)

One day they will all be 16.

All at the same time? That’s gonna be WEIRD!

when in a case of perpetual near exhaustion

That’s what makes the good times great Mr B 😉

Paying at the till after shopping at the supermarket my 2 and bit year old tells Mrs teadrinker who’s packing the shopping “Mummy put shopping in Daddies back door”

Daddies back door is her reference to the boot of the car. We often get strange looks when she mentions this in public.

When do you have to stop reading The Hungry Caterpillar? 😯

Though Room on the Broom is still my favourite….lived the way a toddler who can’t read could recite it perfectly. The whole book. Over. And over…..

I recently discovered that the only place to ask the “how was school today?” question and get a response other than “fine” is on the trampoline in the garden. So that’s where I ask that question now, in a 3-way bounce-fest after I’ve put my bike away. I can bounce really high when I want to. Building up to a somersault.

Just this very morning. Jnr is 2 1/2…

Jnr: “Daddy, what’s the skirrel doing?”
Daddy: “He’s hiding his nuts in the garden”
Jnr: “Why doesn’t he hide them in his pants like you?”
Wife spits Cheerio’s across the table..

CANT WAIT TO HAVE KIDS.

Batshit crazy little people I can call my own.

it is, after all, the reason we are here, fab thread.

Our twins aren’t at the talking stage to come out with classics but one continues to copy the sounds she hears us make and even came out with: oaooooh noahhooooo. At four months we were impressed. but every little smile makes the pain and suffering worthwhile.

I was shopping one day, and pulled my wallet out to discover my bank card was missing. Where the hells that gone? So go through the usual procedure, report it missing, wait days for the new one to arrive

Then, on walking through the front room, I look down to see it sticking out of the card reader on this

Bless ’em

My 2 year old spotted an elderly gentleman on a mobility scooter coming towards him on the pavement. He waits until said gentleman is right beside us and then shouts at the top of his voice “LAWNMOWER!!!!”…

Ah, fond memories. The time we were in Sainsburys.. “That man’s black!” shouts my boy (then aged 3 or 4).
Might remind him of that later – he calls me racist if I just say the word black these days 😆

Non Parent With Not Quite Wife at 27 At That Definitive Point In Life..

Not got ’em yet, but it’s planned. I’ve always been parental but wonder if most people anticipate the joy in parenthood, or if it’s a wonderful surprise thrust upon them?

I’m glad I’ve read this thread. My wife has her 12 week scan tomorrow afternoon. I’m trying to contain my excitement about the whole prospect at this stage but I am overjoyed at the prospect of our first.

New chapter in life.